The adventures of Black Veil Brides
Have You Seen How Hot My Mom Is?
"What the Tits?!" Andy yelled at his phone. Jinxx Arched his eyebrow. "Wha?" Andy laughed and stood up and started flailing his arms. "Someone actually made a poll to see who's mom is hotter! Mine or Matt's and Matt is winning Dammit!!!!" Jinxx laughed and grabbed the phone. "Dude, our fans take us way too seriously!" He said and and pointed at some random girl on the street. "Maybe you should tell that girl about the poll and advertise your mom, Andy." Andy accepted the challenge and ran off with his long gazelle legs and poked the girl in the face. She reflexed and smacked the shit out of his beautiful face.
She cupped her hands over her mouth and rubbed his face. "I am so sorry! It was a reflex!" She said and Jinxx was about to freaken die he was laughing so hard. Andy crossed his arms and growled. "I was going to show you how hot my mom is, but you just fucking bitch slapped me! Me! Andy fucking Six!" The girl cocked her head to the side. "Who are you? Andy Six? Never heard of you." She said and put her hand on her hips. Andy rolled his eyes. "That's not important, but why did you slap me! I've tried to tell the world that I'm NOT a fucking accidental rapist!"
Jinxx walked over to him. "but he is an accidental racist. He'll be racist and won't even know it, unless you're Chinese." The girl was obviously confused and freaked out. She looked at the two man lions. "Are you guys in KISS?"
Andy and Jinxx looked at each other. "yes, I'm Gene Simmons son named Dennis. Please support my daddy's band." Andy said and gave the girl extreme puppy dog eyes. She slowly nodded her head and fastly walked away. Andy broke out laughing. "When Matt's dream of becoming a political dictator, Her ass is going down." Andy said and randomly started fist pumping. Him and Jinxx walked back to Andy's car and drove to his house. Andy unlocked the door and got jumped upon by Ashley, Jake, and C.C.
"Ack! Assholes! You could've atleast said suprise before jumping on me!" Andy said fighting off the glob of blackness on top of him. Ashley smiled at him and handed him a cupcake.
"Happy Birthday, Andy!!!" They all said. Andy stomped is foot and flailed his arms.
"It's not my fucking birthday! How many times must I go over this?! I think you guys just want a reason to make my life a living hell." He said and threw his cupcake and hit Jake in the face. Ashley was laughing extremely hard and Jake walked into the kitched and washed his face. C.C. came into the room with a cooler of booze. "Well, all your birthdays gives me an excellent reason to drink, so when's your next one, dude. How about April?" He said and took a swig of vodka.
"I knew you guys had a motive. Ok, spill it. All of you. What's your reason for wanting me to grow old and die at the age of 69, but in reality I'm 22. Oh, but wait," Andy said and laughed under his breath. "We don't seem to know what the R word is." Ashley found his voice again and pointed at the singer.
"Oooooh! You said A bad word! I'm telling mommy!" He said and ran into the bathroom. Andy looked at Jinxx. "Mommy is in the bathroom?" He said and Jinxx shrugged his shoulders in confusion. "Ok, Ashley, tell mommy I said I love her!"
Ashley came out of the bathroom five minutes later and was smiling evily. "You're gonna get your ass kicked when Momma gets here." He said and cracked his knuckles. Andy laughed. "Did you actually call my mom?"
All of a sudden the front door flew open and a blur flew past Ashley and Jinxx and glomped Andy and they flew into the couch. Ashley started cracking up and once Jinxx and Jake realized who was beating the shit out of Andy, they were laughing too.
"S-OW DAMMIT Sandra why are you my mommy?!" Andy yelled as Sandra slapped him in the face with a pillow. "You idiot! You know Ashley can't handle the REAL world! It would be way too dissapointing for him! Why do you think he put himself in the fantasy in the first place?!"
Ashley stood there with his mouth open. "W-what's the real world? Please tell me it's a stripper's name." He said in a very childish voice. Andy grabbed a pillow and smacked his old drummer directly in the face. "Bitch, now he's asking questions! He didn't want to know what it was until YOU showed up!" Sandra gave him the best Uh-oh face she could with her sunglasses on.
Ashley jumped on Jinxx's back. "Jinxx, Tell me what reality is!" He said in his fake crying voice. Jinxx sighed. "When you're older, Ashley." Ashley jumped off his back and stomped his feet all the way to his room. "I'll just google it!" He yelled and slammed his door. C.C. put his hand on his hips. "You do know that was just an excuse for him to go in his room and watch porn, right?" He said clearly already buzzed.
Sandra laughed and got off of Andy and helped him up. "But atleast he is still in his fantasy world...." She said and hit Andy one more time with the pillow. "Be more careful next time, you bastard." She said and then walked out of the house. Andy ran his fingers through his hair.
"I really need to get a damn security system in here."
She cupped her hands over her mouth and rubbed his face. "I am so sorry! It was a reflex!" She said and Jinxx was about to freaken die he was laughing so hard. Andy crossed his arms and growled. "I was going to show you how hot my mom is, but you just fucking bitch slapped me! Me! Andy fucking Six!" The girl cocked her head to the side. "Who are you? Andy Six? Never heard of you." She said and put her hand on her hips. Andy rolled his eyes. "That's not important, but why did you slap me! I've tried to tell the world that I'm NOT a fucking accidental rapist!"
Jinxx walked over to him. "but he is an accidental racist. He'll be racist and won't even know it, unless you're Chinese." The girl was obviously confused and freaked out. She looked at the two man lions. "Are you guys in KISS?"
Andy and Jinxx looked at each other. "yes, I'm Gene Simmons son named Dennis. Please support my daddy's band." Andy said and gave the girl extreme puppy dog eyes. She slowly nodded her head and fastly walked away. Andy broke out laughing. "When Matt's dream of becoming a political dictator, Her ass is going down." Andy said and randomly started fist pumping. Him and Jinxx walked back to Andy's car and drove to his house. Andy unlocked the door and got jumped upon by Ashley, Jake, and C.C.
"Ack! Assholes! You could've atleast said suprise before jumping on me!" Andy said fighting off the glob of blackness on top of him. Ashley smiled at him and handed him a cupcake.
"Happy Birthday, Andy!!!" They all said. Andy stomped is foot and flailed his arms.
"It's not my fucking birthday! How many times must I go over this?! I think you guys just want a reason to make my life a living hell." He said and threw his cupcake and hit Jake in the face. Ashley was laughing extremely hard and Jake walked into the kitched and washed his face. C.C. came into the room with a cooler of booze. "Well, all your birthdays gives me an excellent reason to drink, so when's your next one, dude. How about April?" He said and took a swig of vodka.
"I knew you guys had a motive. Ok, spill it. All of you. What's your reason for wanting me to grow old and die at the age of 69, but in reality I'm 22. Oh, but wait," Andy said and laughed under his breath. "We don't seem to know what the R word is." Ashley found his voice again and pointed at the singer.
"Oooooh! You said A bad word! I'm telling mommy!" He said and ran into the bathroom. Andy looked at Jinxx. "Mommy is in the bathroom?" He said and Jinxx shrugged his shoulders in confusion. "Ok, Ashley, tell mommy I said I love her!"
Ashley came out of the bathroom five minutes later and was smiling evily. "You're gonna get your ass kicked when Momma gets here." He said and cracked his knuckles. Andy laughed. "Did you actually call my mom?"
All of a sudden the front door flew open and a blur flew past Ashley and Jinxx and glomped Andy and they flew into the couch. Ashley started cracking up and once Jinxx and Jake realized who was beating the shit out of Andy, they were laughing too.
"S-OW DAMMIT Sandra why are you my mommy?!" Andy yelled as Sandra slapped him in the face with a pillow. "You idiot! You know Ashley can't handle the REAL world! It would be way too dissapointing for him! Why do you think he put himself in the fantasy in the first place?!"
Ashley stood there with his mouth open. "W-what's the real world? Please tell me it's a stripper's name." He said in a very childish voice. Andy grabbed a pillow and smacked his old drummer directly in the face. "Bitch, now he's asking questions! He didn't want to know what it was until YOU showed up!" Sandra gave him the best Uh-oh face she could with her sunglasses on.
Ashley jumped on Jinxx's back. "Jinxx, Tell me what reality is!" He said in his fake crying voice. Jinxx sighed. "When you're older, Ashley." Ashley jumped off his back and stomped his feet all the way to his room. "I'll just google it!" He yelled and slammed his door. C.C. put his hand on his hips. "You do know that was just an excuse for him to go in his room and watch porn, right?" He said clearly already buzzed.
Sandra laughed and got off of Andy and helped him up. "But atleast he is still in his fantasy world...." She said and hit Andy one more time with the pillow. "Be more careful next time, you bastard." She said and then walked out of the house. Andy ran his fingers through his hair.
"I really need to get a damn security system in here."
3/15/13