Andy and I sat on the plush bed in our room in Honolulu. We had a long day of swimming and now we were resting. His arm was loosely wrapped around my waist and our feet tangled in each other's as we watched TV. I leaned my head on his shoulder and yawned.

"I wish we could have done something more for you birthday." I sighed. We had so much preparation to do for the trip all we did was stay in an watch movies. I had saved a present for him of course. It was a new Batman figurine that had just come out.

"I like what we did." He said, touching my cheek.

"Well good." I smiled. All of the sudden I felt an odd feeling in my stomach. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion until I realized it must have been my period. "I'll be right back." I muttered grabbing my purse and walking into the bathroom. As soon as I pulled down my leggings I noticed it was way more blood.

Shock settled to the the very depths of my stomach when I realized what this meant: I was pregnant.

I let out a painful sob that I was pretty sure the whole hotel could hear and sank down to the floor just as I heard Andy race to the bathroom. He slammed the door open. "Corrie what's-" He was cut off when he looked at all the blood on the floor. "Oh my god." He ran to my side and scooped me up in his arms, ignoring the blood still running out of me. He ran out of the door and down the hall. He opened the door to the stair well and basically flew down the stairs. I sobbed into his chest, feeling so much pain in my stomach. "Please, can you call an ambulance my girlfriend. I think she just had a miscarriage." He said to the concierge.

"Yes of course." The women said. I let out a painful cry as I felt a strong cramp. Andy's tears fell in my hair and he held me close to him.

"It's okay, Corrie. Your okay. Everything is going to be fine." He said, shakily. His hands must have been coated in my blood. No, not my blood. The baby we could have shared's blood. The whole lobby was silent as they looked at us. Me half naked and Andy shirtless, with blood smeared on him.

It was still coming out, painfully and full of dread. Finally, sirens sounded from outside of the hotel. Andy ran out there and I felt him transfer me to another mans arms who laid me on a stretcher. It was lifted into the ambulance.

"Are you her-" Andy cut the medic off.

"Boyfriend, and I would be the-the uhm the father." He panted.

"Okay, come on." Andy hopped on the ambulance and grabbed my hand that wasn't curled around my stomach. I let out a other painful yell as something contorted in my abdomen.

"She's losing to much blood!" I heard someone yell. Andy lifted my hand up to his lips and let them rest there.

"Please stay with me Corrie, I need you." He muttered. I looked up at him for the first time and felt my eyelids lowering, "Coralie Johnson please don't give up on me!" He sobbed, squeezing my hand. I looked up towards the ceiling of the ambulance, feeling people touch me in places only Andy had been. I could barely stay awake, eveything was weighing me down.

"Please step back, son." I heard a female voice say to Andy.

"No, I can't, she-she needs me, please." Someone ripped our hands apart and I felt immediately frantic without him, but I couldn't show it. I was in too much pain. I just let my hand fall down on the stretcher and my eyes slipped shut, "Coralie no!" Andy cried out. The last thing I heard before everything went black was, "I love you. I can't live without you, I won't..."

---

Spirits come to you when you're in your most vulnerable state. That's if you don't have a mediumship. When in a coma you may hear from a loved one, or if you're asleep after just crying you might see something that haunts your home. That's why children see spirits: most every one of them is vulnerable enough too.

Having a mediumship after losing a child and being in a coma was one of the most frightening things I've ever had to experience.

Voices came at me from everywhere, pleading for me to give messages to people. Praying that I would help them. So many came through at once I thought my head was going to explode.

Then something odd happened: I wasn't in an impenetrable darkness. I was in a cozy room.

Sitting in an old, plush chair with the back so high my head didn't even reach the top. A fire cooked in front of me, making me feel warm and somehow cold at the same time. My eyes darted around trying to make sense of my surroundings but nothing seemed to click. Voices weren't shouting at me, it was just silent except for one, long ring that seemed to get slightly louder every second.

Then a door opened behind me. I didn't dare turn around for fear it was something bad but the ringing had gone away. Out of the corner of my eye I saw something white move by me and sit in the chair next to me. I didn't look who it was but I had a feeling. And it was confirmed when I heard the soft crying of an infant beside me.

"Is that my baby?" I whispered to whoever was holding it.

"Why don't you look and see?" Said the voice of a women. My eyes widened as I looked over at her. That short gray hair that I loved, her worn beautiful smile.

"Grandma?" I exclaimed. She nodded looking down at the small baby wrapped in a blue blanket in her arms. I stood up and walked over to them. "It's a-a boy." I stuttered.

"Yes. Blake Biersack." She said, smiling. I let out a sob and sank to my knees. Blake was my favorite name. She extended him out to me, "Hold him." I nodded and took him from her hands. Looking down at him I could see his eyes were only tiny slits right now but I could still see the brilliant blue orbs that would shine. Tears streamed down my face- his daddy's eyes.

"I didn't even know I was pregnant." I sobbed, rocking him back and forth.

"It wasn't meant to be, Coralie." My grandma stood up and placed a firm hand on my shoulder. "It wasn't time."

I gasped, "He's so beautiful." A little perfect creation of Andy and I. Pale, creamy skin, a little tuft of brown hair that matched my color. I looked up at my grandma to see her staring at me, "Am I dead?"

She shook her head softly, "Not yet. But you have a choice to make." I looked at her, willing her to keep going, "You can stay here with your child. Watch him grow. Or you can leave him with me, and go back to someone who needs you more." It took me a few seconds to understand.

"Andy." I said, it wasn't a question. It was a fact. She nodded and waved her hand out in front of her. She created a small picture of Andy pacing in the hallway. He had changed clothes and was on the phone.

"No, mom, we didn't know." He said, his voice was pained. "She's in a coma right now and they don't know if she's going to make it. I don't know what to do. I can't live without her. I was going to propose on New Years."

I let out a gasp and continued to watch him.

"I'm trying. She's been out for two days and she lost a lot of blood. She's in critical condition." My grandma waved the picture away and looked at me as I cradled my son in my arms, loving the feeling.

"You can't leave him, Coralie. Not like that." I felt my throat tighten as I looked down at Blake. My-no-Andy and I's perfect little creation and sighed.

"You're right." I said, placing one small kiss on his soft forehead and handing him back to my grandma. "He needs me and I need him."

"I'll take care of your son. I promise." She said as I stood up.

I felt my tears start up again as I looked at Blake one last time. "I love you." I said, running my finger across his cheek, "I'll see you again."

"You will. And you'll have others Coralie. I know nothing can replace him but you and Andy have so many years ahead of you. Go back to him." She said, smiling at me.

"I love you, Grandma." I said leaning into hug her.

"I love you too. Now go." I nodded and walked towards the large oak double doors. I took one last look at my grandmother and son and stepped out of them.

Notes

I cried writing this.