I became conscious the next morning and heard Andy’s heartbeat and breathing. I opened my eyes and looked up. I was sleeping on his chest. I smiled to myself and then I felt his hand stroke my arm as he kissed my forehead. “Good morning sleepyhead,” he said playfully. I looked up at him and smiled. We both got out of bed and went to the part of the bus that had a kitchen and a table. “Pancakes?” he asked. “Sure,” I said, smiling at him. He made the pancakes and put them at the table. “Enjoy,” he said as he served them to me. We ate our pancakes and held small talk until we heard the door to Ashley’s room open. Ashley walked out and looked at us. “What, no pancakes for me?” he asked. “Make your own,” Andy said, never taking his eyes off of me. Jinxx came out of the room shortly after. “Pancakes?” he said, confused. “Make your own,” Ashley said simultaneously with Andy. Jinxx looked at Ashley with a puzzled look. “He told me the same thing,” Ashley said with a sigh. Andy’s eyes were still glued to me. I finished my pancakes and walked back into the room. I shut the door behind me and slid down it. That was weird. Andy can’t like me. It’s impossible. I thought to myself. I stood up and put on a pair of plain, blue, faded skinny jeans with a Ramones shirt. I plopped down on the bed and picked up my phone: 7 new texts. Who could they be from? I thought to myself. My mom didn’t know how to text and Andy was here with me. I opened the first one: Jackie. She was one of my best friends from my old school back in Ohio. “What you been up to?” is what that one said. She was going to freak when I told her. She loved BVB. I’ll wait on breaking the news to her. I opened the next one: Bobbie. She was my only friend from my current school. “Hey what happened? Why haven’t you been in school?” she wasn’t just my friend, though. She was like a sister, always looking out for me. I could trust her with everything, but I decided not to tell her at the moment. I opened the third: Jenna. She was also a friend from my old school. “Hiya :),” she said. She was kind of obsessive compulsive, but that’s one of the many reasons I loved her like a sister. I didn’t answer her either. I opened the fourth: Marina. “Hey hooker face! :),”she was a friend from back when I played softball, she also loved BVB. I went on to text #5: Shauna. “Hey sexy ;),” it said. I wasn’t a lesbian, and neither was she. We were just best friends. I went on to text #6: Monica. She was also one of my best friends from Ohio. “Hey you, I miss you skank!” that’s just what my friends and I did. We picked at each other, but we always knew we were joking. On to text #7: Tyler. Tyler was my ex and a friend from Ohio.“Hey,” he never really was one to talk to. I ignored his like all the others and dropped my phone beside me. I let out a sigh and closed my eyes. I remembered Ohio, the little group of outcasts my friends and I formed, everything. I missed it. I felt a warm tear run down my face as I remembered how much I worried everyone when I ran away and tried to commit suicide. All the pain they had to go through, not knowing if I was dead or alive. From that moment on, I decided never to make anyone feel pain for what I did. I kept all my emotions bottled up inside and never let anger or fear or sadness show. I felt another tear roll down my face, but this one was wiped away. I looked up through blurry, tear-filled eyes and saw him standing there. I sat up and immediately wiped my tears away. “What’s wrong?” he asked. “Nothing,” I said, not wanting to look into his deep, blue, captivating eyes. “You’re lying,” he said softly. “Why won’t you open up?” he asked. “There’s nothing to open up about,” I said, lying through my teeth. “Yes there is. I can see it in your eyes,” he said. I remained silent. “So why? Why do you feel like you have to shoulder this burden alone?” he asked with a tinge of hurt in his voice. “Because I made a promise,” I said softly. “To whom?” he asked with honest curiosity. “To myself. When I saw everyone’s faces after I returned home from running away, I promised myself that I would never make anyone worry about me or feel any sort of pain because of me,” I said, recalling my memories of that night. He took me into a tight embrace. “Never think that. Never think it’s your fault they worried or that their in pain, they worry about you because they want to. They feel the pain of worrying because they care. Nothing you do will ever change that, so at least let us help instead of keeping us in the dark about everything,” he said as he embraced me. This time, I embraced back. We sat there holding each other for what seemed like an eternity. I didn’t want to let go, and I didn’t want him to let go. But sadly, all good things must come to an end. I heard Ashley’s voice from out in the kitchen. “Andy, can you come here?” he asked, shouting over the noise of the bustling city around us. Andy pulled away from our embrace at the same time I did. “Sure,” he shouted back. He walked out of the room, and as soon as he did, Jake walked in. He shut the door and sat down on the bed next to me. “We need to talk,” he said in a serious tone. “About what?” I asked, trying to hide the fear in my voice. “Be honest; do you like Andy as more than a friend?” he asked, completely serious. “No,” I said. “I love him. He’s my savior and my idol, but I know better than to think anything could work between us. I’d rather be his friend for a lifetime, than be his girlfriend for a few months.” Jake looked at me, a slight look of shock crossed his face. Then he smiled. “Good. You’re smart, stay that way and you’ll make it through this,” he said confidently. He stood up and started to walk out of the room. He turned around when he got to the door, flashed an arrogant smile, opened the door, and walked out. I stood up and walked over to the window. We were stopped for some reason, and the city looked like every other big city, skyscrapers, pollution, angry drivers. We weren’t playing a concert for another three days, so I felt relaxed. We made it through the big city and were on another highway. It was nightfall before we got to another one. Nothing interesting had happened since my chat with Jake and now we were all just sitting around the table telling secrets about ourselves. Some were your standard confessions like who their first time was and the first time with smoking/drinking. Others, however were very interesting. I won’t say who, but someone has a man crush on Johnny Depp. It was probably around midnight when Andy walked back to the room. I began to follow, but decided to go into the bathroom instead. No one else saw me go in there, and they began talking. “So what’s the deal with Andy?” I heard Jake ask. “Well, no matter what we said or asked, he would just stare into space with a blank expression on his face. I think he’s fallen for this girl,” I heard Ashley confess. “Fallen as in give it a few weeks or fallen as in she’s everything to him and he won’t stop thinking about her?” Jake asked. “The second one,” Ashley said. “What about Courtney?” Jinxx asked. “She knows better, “Jake said. “What are you talking about?” C.C. asked. “She understands that a relationship with him would just make things more difficult,” he said. So that’s what they did. They separated and questioned us about our feelings for each other. I just don’t understand why. “Andy’s girlfriend isn’t even that considerate,” I heard Jinxx say in a low voice. My heart shattered into a million pieces. He had a girlfriend and he was hitting on me. I felt so used and hurt that I began to weep softly. “His girlfriend’s a whore and treats him like shit,” I heard Ashley say angrily. I slowly crept out of the bathroom and into my room. I was still weeping, and the tears were flowing like rivers now. I opened the window to get some fresh air. I picked up my phone and called Tyler. He wasn’t much to talk to, but he was one hell of a good listener. “Hello?” I heard from the other end. I probably woke him up. I heard the other bedroom doors close and I went out into the main part of the bus. “Hi,” I said, still crying. “What’s wrong?” he asked, still sounding tired. “I know you probably won’t care, but I needed someone to talk to. The guy I like likes me back and is the sweetest person ever, but he has a girlfriend and I’m just his side hoe,” I said as I started crying harder. I wasn’t Andy’s girlfriend, but it hurt to know he was cheating on her with me. “He’s a douche. He doesn’t deserve anything from you, “Tyler said. “But I’m sort of bunking with him now,” I said, trying not to give away the fact that I’m touring. “What? Well I guess the reason doesn’t matter, move out,” he said, not fully understanding the situation. We talked for a little bit longer about nothing really important and I had finally stopped crying.“Thanks, Tyler, “I said as he hung up. I looked at the clock on my phone; 2:30. Ugh. I walked back into the room and laid down. This time, Andy didn’t put his arms around me, and I didn’t want him to. I closed my eyes and sank into horrible nightmares.