I'm sorry
I heard about the bad news today
A crowd of people around you
Telling you it's okay
And everything happens for a reason


Andy felt incredibly uncomfortable as he stood there, his black suit jacket tight against his skinny frame and his growing hair kept getting in his eyes. The only people he knew here were Odessa, his girlfriend, and her mother. He wanted to be with Dess, but she was busy dealing with last minute things-losing her sister had been hard, but the blonde had completely become numb to the pain. Moira-the sixteen year old girl who had been taken from them too early-had lost her battle with cancer and now Andy was in a place he never wanted to be…the funeral of a sixteen year old girl who also happened to be his biggest fan.

The room he was in began to steadily fill with more and more people and Andy shifted his weight from one foot to the other as he looked around. There were a lot of younger kids walking in through the door and just by looking at them Andy could tell that they had been friends of Moira’s. Freaks, outcasts and just overall ‘weird’ kids were filling the space and Andy felt the need to keep his head down. Some of them knew about him he was sure, but today wasn’t about him-it was about Moira and remembering her. Andy stood there and he just kept looking around, although now he was trying to see where Odessa had gotten off to. She must need help with something and where in the Hell were his bandmates? Andy sighed as he turned around and almost knocked a smaller gentleman to the ground.


“Oh! E-excuse me sir.” Andy stuttered as he looked down to the older man standing before him. Obviously a relative of Dess’ and Andy could only smile and the guy looked up at him and their blue eyes locked on one another.

“Don’t worry about it son. I’m Buddy.” He was holding out a gnarled and arthritic looking hand and Andy only smiled as he shook it. One day he would look like this-Moira would just never be around to tell him he was still gorgeous looking and that made him kind of sad.

“Andy-Odessa’s boyfriend. I’m-I-I was a friend of Moira’s as well.” Andy felt sad as he looked around-everyone looked so upset and there were several people crying while other’s tried to give them some comfort. Buddy only smiled at him and placed an arm around Andy’s shoulder as the two of them walked off towards the viewing room.

“I know son…I know. It’s sad, but remember-everything in life happens for some reason or another and sometimes that reason doesn’t make sense until later in life.” Buddy said as he left Andy’s side once they got to the viewing room and Andy only nodded his head and looked around.


Odessa was seated in the front row, her head in her hands and Andy approached her, still wondering if he would ever know the reason.



When you lose a part of your self
To somebody you know
It takes a lot to let go
Every breath that you remember
Pictures fade away but memory is forever


Everyone around them was having a really good time, which made Andy happy as that was what today was about. He and Odessa, after a terrible year of sickness and fighting, had finally done what they had always been meant to do-they were now married. The only thing was, Andy couldn’t feel one hundred percent happy in that moment. There was something missing…something didn’t feel right. Looking around, Andy couldn’t keep the smile from his face. Odessa was off dancing with his father and the two of them were laughing and joking as he spun her around the floor. That was what was missing-there were certain people who weren’t here right now and they should be.

Andy looked down at the table then, his eyes filled with tears for the people who were missing out on this event and his eyes locked onto Dess’ bouquet that she had left sitting on the table. It was beautiful with all of its roses and ivy, but there was something even more beautiful hanging down from the stems. Two black and white photos that weren’t any bigger than stamps and yet they meant everything. A photo of Dess’ father, who she had lost when she was nineteen to cancer and of course her younger sister Moira, who they had lost over a year ago. They should be here-it should be Mr. Montgomery spinning Dess around the floor and it should be Moira sitting at the wedding party table, joking around with CC. But they weren’t here and Andy couldn’t help but feel heartbroken.

Andy could remember his last moments with Moira-he would never forget them…he would never forget her. She was just so filled with life and laughter-everything was precious to her, especially his band and Andy would always be grateful to her for that. It was more than just missing her though-Andy knew that there were things in life that Moira would miss out on as well, including her own wedding and having children. Getting to do what she loved in life, which was music, and just being a kid. It’s never okay when someone dies, but it’s cruel to see someone so young and full of life completely fade from existence. Fading…that was exactly what Moira had done.

He could remember that moment-the very moment that she had left them-like it was yesterday and Andy couldn’t keep the tears from running down his cheeks. She had been laid up in her own room, the posters of him and the rest of the guys surrounding her and he and Dess had been there right beside her through it all. They had been laughing about something and then she had begun to change-the light had begun to fade from her eyes. The light outside was also fading, night was upon them and as he sat there and watched Odessa and Moira say their last goodbyes, Andy knew that Moira was fading in to the night. They had lost her, but her memory would stick with them forever.

The pictures felt smooth in his fingers and as Andy let them both and looked up to see his wife smiling at him, he knew that these pictures of Moira and her father would fade…but they would always be remembered.



An empty chair at all the tables
And I'll be seeing you when all my days boil down
But it's better where you're going anyway


The house smelled delicious and Andy sniffed the air appreciatively as he walked down the hallway and heard the laughter coming from downstairs. It was Christmas morning and Odessa, their daughter Arabella and their son Oliver were all downstairs already, along with his parents and Rose Montgomery. They had stayed home this Christmas-between tours and needing a break-and it had been nice to have his close family around. Not that he didn’t love the guys and their own families, but sometimes it just became too much. As his feet his the stairs, Andy felt light and happy-until he looked to his left and saw the pictures that lined the stairwell wall. Arabella, Oliver, he and Dess, but there was another picture of a young girl who they had sadly lost.

Moira.

They had lost her years ago-it seemed like it had been an eternity and yet to Andy it felt like yesterday. Things had changed-babies had been born and he and Dess were happier than ever, but still Andy couldn’t shake his sadness. He kept walking though and as he rounded the corner a smile lit his face-his family were all in the kitchen and his mother and Dess were currently taking platters of food in to the dining room. Everyone seemed so happy-Rose Montgomery and his father were laughing about something at the kitchen table and as Andy approached they all seemed to brighten at his entrance.

“Merry Christmas!” He called out and then laughed as Aria smiled up at him and he bent down to press a kiss to the top of her blonde head. His little girl-he loved her more than anything and she meant the world to him.

“Just in time-breakfast is ready!” Dess laughed as she came over to him, her white sweater tight across her chest and her blonde hair was curling around her face gently. She was beautiful, but looking at his wife Andy couldn’t help but feel like he was looking at a ghost.

“Great, do you need any help?” Andy asked as he looked around and Dess only smiled at him before kissing his lips and walking off towards the dining room. Andy followed, tiny Oliver in his arms and he smiled as he looked around. Their house was so festive this time of year-Odessa wouldn’t have it any other way.

“I think we got everything. Come here Oli and let grandma get you in your chair.” His mother was walking towards him, her light blue eyes happy as she took her only grandson in to her arms and moved to place him in his seat to the left of Andy’s chair. Dess always fed Arabella and Andy had taken on the task of trying to get Oliver to eat.

“Dig in everyone!” Dess called out and Andy only smiled as he looked around. Everyone was seated at the table except for himself, but he couldn’t notice that there was an empty chair sitting in the corner-not needed as there weren’t that many people.

That chair would always be empty…always.



I'm sorry
I heard about the bad news today
It's really hard to get through
Tough times and long days
But it really just depends on the season


Andy stood in a room he had hoped he would never have to be in ever again-the local funeral home. This had been the place where he had come with Odessa so many years before when they had lost her sister and now here they were again-Odessa had lost her mother. Arabella was being wonderful in taking care of the younger two children-Oliver and Camellia could be a handful and Dess needed to concentrate. Andy looked around-there were more people here that he knew this time around, but that didn’t make any less sad.

Rose Montgomery had passed in her sleep a week ago and when Andy had been woken up by Odessa’s crying, he knew that something had happened. He had found her in the kitchen, sitting at the table with her coffee only half finished and the phone clutched in her hands. Rose’s maid had found her, thought she had been asleep, but no, now Rose Montgomery was gone. There was nothing like losing a parent-he had lost his own mother two years ago and every day Andy cursed life for taking his mother away from him. He still had his father though, but now Dess felt like she had no one besides him and the kids. He didn’t take it personally-Odessa Montgomery Biersack had lost a lot of people in her life and some of them way too soon.

Moira had been gone for years, but as Andy walked around and said hello to a few people, he knew that the two sisters should be going through this together. Odessa was taking comfort in him, but really he knew that the only person she wanted was the one he couldn’t let her see-Moira. Finally Andy found Odessa-she was sitting on a couch off in the corner, her moss green eyes bloodshot and her blonde hair was coming out of the bun she had had it held up in. He said nothing as he moved to sit beside her and soon enough her head was resting on his shoulder and Andy had an arm wrapped around her. He wasn’t sure about what to say, but he had to say something.


“Words are not going to make you feel better right now babe, but I am so, so sorry.” He said in to her ear quietly and he could feel her shoulders shaking slightly. She was crying, but that was okay-she had ever right to cry.

“I know…I just wish I wasn’t alone in this right now. You and the kids are here, but there’s just something-someone-missing.” She said as she pulled her face out of his chest where it had been resting and their eyes locked.

“She may not be right here with you Dess, but Moira is watching over you and now she’s taking care of your mom…both of them are in a better place…” He murmured as he kissed the top of her head and both of them lapsed back in to silence.


Life was rough and Andy knew with coming age things were only going to get worse.



For now we'll say goodbye
We know it's not the last time
I've lost the best part of my day
But it's better where you're going anyway
This is the last thing
I will remember
It's better where you're going anyway


The chill wind whipped around a pair of frail shoulders, stooped with age and covered with an ancient leather jacket that refused to be thrown away. A pair of crystal blue eyes, clear and bright even with old age, looked down on a headstone that stood tall among all of the others. It was light pink, the words standing out against the rough background and yet the only thing those eyes could focus on was the name. A name his lips had said over and over again, time after time for over seventy years and yet he hadn’t spoken that name in over a year. This beloved person had been gone a year…it was now fall and although it was cold, the old man refused to leave, even though his eldest daughter was still begging him. No, he needed more time and as Andy looked down at his wife, he read over her stone again and again, hoping that the words would change.


Odessa Annemarie Biersack
Born February 14th 1990-Died July 13th 2080
Beloved Wife, Mother, Grandmother and Friend
Forever in our hearts you will not be forgotten
And In The End…we will remember the story of your life


Those words, he had written them so long ago and yet they were fresh in his mind as Andy looked down and smiled through his tears. Odessa had died one day before the anniversary of the day that they met and Andy always found it ironic. What was she doing now? Was she in Heaven? Was she up there, looking down on him and calling him an old fool like she always did when he frustrated her? Did she miss him? Andy knew what she was doing-Odessa was rejoicing being with one of the people she missed the most-her sister Moira.

It was time to go, Arabella was beckoning to him, but Andy always had a hard time leaving his Odessa. He had lost the best part of his days and now he was just a lonely old man, with nothing but time and wishing that he could see her again. So many people had been lost in life-his family, friends and bandmates were all gone and Andy knew that his time was coming. But as he walked back to the car and got inside, he knew that that time would come and he would be happy for it. He was tired of being alone…he was tired of having nothing but memories to keep him company.

As the car rounded a corner and the sun popped out of the trees, Andy only smiled and thought about the life that he had had and the future that still awaited him.

Notes