Then I lost it all
Dead and broken.
My back's against the wall.
Cut me open.
I'm just trying to breathe,
Just trying to figure it out
Because I built these walls to watch them crumbling down.
I said, "Then I lost it all."
And who can save me now?


The sun rose, then it set and thus the process continued for four days time and still Persephone Jones refused to leave her bed. She couldn’t remember much about the battle that had occurred and she certainly couldn’t remember how she had gotten back to camp, but here she was and Maggie was no longer with her. No, her lifeless body was buried in some pit, laying beneath others who F.E.A.R had destined to die. One of those other people was Odessa, Andy’s fiancé and the love of his life. Her entire family had been wiped out-her mother had perished mere hours before they had gotten there-and Odessa had been the only one left. Andy hadn’t spoken or seen anyone in days, taking to the planning room with the door locked and a bottle of moonshine to keep him company.

People had come and gone, Ella had tried to get Perry to eat several times, but her bowls of soup and plates of ham just sat untouched until the older girl came by to pick them up. CC also hadn’t been seen much the past few days-it had come out that he and Maggie had planned to marry once F.E.A.R had been defeated and he, like the rest of them, had only been able to sit by and listen to her cries for help as she suffocated to death. They had found out from one of the rescued-an inventor that had actually been forced to help design the chamber-that it wasn’t just a gas chamber, oh no. Once inside and once the door had been shut and locked, all of the oxygen was slowly sucked out of the room. The vacuums literally sucked the life right out of those in there and Perry felt sick to her stomach once she heard that. Now she was laying in her bed, the covers pulled to her chin and her back to the room.

Could she go on? Persephone sighed, all of her tears had been dried up and she knew that there was no comfort in just laying here, but she couldn’t figure out how to move. One of her eyes had been swollen shut-she had been punched in battle at some point-and she had scrapes and bruises all up and down her arms. The most harrowing fact, other than the whole Maggie’s gone thing, was that she had killed-Persephone Jones was a murderer. They deserved to die, especially the last few guards who had taken her, Maggie and Odessa towards the chamber, but still…she had never killed anyone before. Perry swallowed, her mouth as dry as the desert above her head and then she shut her eyes as the weight on her bed shifted.

Had she not told everyone that very first day to please leave her alone? Obviously no one was listening and Persephone only sighed, blowing her matted red bangs out of her face as she moved to turn over. She winced-her ribs were still slightly sore-but soon enough Perry had turned over completely and was now facing the person who so brazenly dared to go against her wishes. It wasn’t who she thought it would be-either Ella or Jinxx-and Perry found herself surprised to see Jake sitting on the side of her bed, smiling down at her softly. Jake was very quiet, kept to himself and only really spoke at meetings, but he was always smiling when Ella was around. What was he doing? Slowly Perry sat up, running a hand through her matted hair as she just looked at the intruder sitting on the side of her bed.


“What?” She croaked, her voice filled with dust and exhaustion. Crying made you tired, not having water made you even more tired and Perry felt like she could lay back down and nap some more. Jake wasn’t going to let that happen as he only smiled at her and placed a hand on her shoulder.

“It’s time for you to get up Persephone…”Jake said, his tone kind and his eyes even kinder. What was his angle? If they thought she was going to dream jump anymore for them then they were dead wrong. Dream jumping had gotten them in to this mess and it wasn’t going to make things better.

“What’s the point? Everyone I love is gone Jake…I-I’ve lost everything…” She cried, covering her face with her hands as her hot tears smeared against her palms. Perry leaned backward, her back now up against the wall of her bed and she couldn’t seem to stop crying.

“Not everyone…you still have the Wild Ones and the Legion.” He said simply and Perry felt herself grow angry. Could they really be this callous? Did they really not care that there were dead girls buried beneath more people and that these were girls that people cared about…loved?

“Fuck your Legion.” She snarled, expecting Jake to be angry and to lash out at her. But Perry was shocked when he reached over and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her to him tightly. His black hair smelled like the sun and Perry sighed as she just shut her eyes and allowed Jake to comfort her.

“I know you don’t mean that Persephone. Look, you know my power, right?” He asked and Perry only nodded as she moved away from him and looked Jake in the eyes. He had the hardest power of all-The Mourner could see all who had passed and some even said he could communicate with them. It always gave Perry chills to think about.

“I know what you, Andy and CC are going through because I can feel your pain, but I also can still feel Odessa and Maggie’s pain-I can feel their fear. I deal with this every day Perry-I live with this every moment of my life and yet I still get up and move on.” He explained and Perry knew her eyes were like saucers. She had never known that Jake could actually feel the pain of those who had passed. What a horrible way to live.

“H-How do you manage to get over it?” She stuttered as she bit down on her lip. Jake only smiled and pulled his leather jacket around his shoulders more. He looked over one shoulder quickly and Persephone noticed that Ella had walked in to the room and they were smiling softly at one another.

“Her. I get up every day for Ella. I know you feel like you don’t have anyone anymore Perry-you’re all alone in this world. But you’re wrong…you have us and you always will.” He chucked her on the chin, smirking as he stood up and she could only watched as Jake and Ella embraced.


Persephone watched as the couple embraced-she watched as Jake pulled Ella to him, kissed her neck and just held her close. God she missed Reese. Where was he right now? Was he watching over her? Would he be disappointed with the way she had been handling things lately? Perry hadn’t missed Reese in a long time-she had been distracted by her goals of finding the Wild Ones and then joining them. She had succeeded, but where had that gotten her? She was sitting on a bed in the middle of the desert with no family and no one in her life who loved her. Persephone sighed, closing her eyes and the first vision that popped in to her head was of five guys who had been there for her.

CC and his ability to make her laugh, even when times were dark and she didn’t know if she could keep going on. Jake and his good advice-Persephone owed him a lot as he had been able to get her to finally get out of bed, even if she was just sitting up. Jinxx was her family, technically, but more than that he was someone who always seemed to care about her, even when she was being a monstrous brat. Ashley, flirtatious and yet sweet, he always made Perry smile. She loved to watch him flirt with all of the older girls and she knew he was somewhat of a heartbreaker, but she loved him all the same. There was one final person and as he came to mind, Persephone only smiled and tossed her covers back-Jake had been able to get her to get up and now Perry had to do the same for the one person in her life who was a true hero. He had given up everything to lead an army and now he was hurting…Perry needed to find him.

Andy needed a little dose of reality.

Persephone placed her feet on the floor-she was barefoot and didn’t feel like seeking out her boots right now-and soon enough she was crossing the room with her leather jacket over her shoulders. People stared at her, called out things to her as she passed, but Perry just kept moving. She walked out of the main bunk hall and found herself right outside of the kitchen door. This had been where Dess could always be found-she loved to cook and she loved to take care of everyone, especially Andy.

Now the space stood vacant and Perry couldn’t help but nod her head towards the space in respect to her fallen sister in arms. The hallway was dark, but Persephone was able to find her way since she had been down here so many times. She had risen in the ranks of the Legion and was almost always in the meetings with the Wild Ones as they planned out the next move of attack.

The wooden door before her was heavy, double bolted and locked, but that wasn’t going to stop Persephone Jones from getting behind it. She had been going to places she wasn’t supposed to for most of her life and as she jiggled the handle and noticed that it gave a little bit she smirked. Andy had locked the knob, but he hadn’t bothered to lock the deadbolt. A lot of people were scared of the Prophet and Perry could see why-sometimes he just got this look on his face that was pensive and yet angry, but one smile from his Odessa and he was all soft and kind looking again. Perry looked around for something-anything-to get the lock open and she smiled as she noticed a thin piece of wood laying in one dark corner. Her nails scraped against the stone floor, but soon enough the wood was in her hands.

The handle jiggled as she slipped the wood between the lock and the doorframe and slid it up and down a few times. Finally after three tries and some cursing the door popped open and Perry peered inside. It was pitch black and she could hear a light amount of crying coming from the head of the table.Feeling around on the wall, Perry finally managed to flick the light switch on and then she gasped-what laid before her was ugly and devastating all at the same time.

Andy was sitting at the head of the table, his arms folded out in front of him and his head was nestled in his arms. He was crying, his shoulders shaking lightly and Perry tried to be as quiet as possible as she walked towards him. She reached out a small hand and softly touched Andy’s shaking shoulders. His head popped up and she tried to hide the shock that she knew was on her face. His eyes were bloodshot, his cheeks trailed with black lines and he just looked completely miserable.


“What do you want Persephone?” He asked, his voice low and sad sounding. Perry said nothing as she pulled out the chair to his left, which was usually where Ashley sat, and took a seat. Neither one of them said much and they both just sat there and looked at one another.

“I want what we all want.” She said as she reached out a hand and placed it on top of one of his. Andy’s only looked over at her, one eyebrow raised as he waited for her to continue.

“Justice.” She said simply and Andy only smiled at her softly. There would be no justice for what had happened to those people in that chamber…there would never be enough justice for had happened to his Odessa.

“Justice?” He was mocking her and Persephone only groaned and bit down on her lip. How could she break him out of this depressing spell that Andy was currently under?

“Freedom.” She said her voice strong and Perry could tell by the feeling in her gut that she meant her own words.

“Freedom? You want freedom? I hate to tell you this Persephone…but freedom is dead. They’ve beaten us…we have nothing anymore.” Andy said sadly and she could see the tears in those blue eyes of his. No, no he couldn’t give up…they couldn’t lose their prophet.

“We have everything! We have eachother! Both you and I-alone in this world with nothing but eachother and the Legion. Together Andy we could be great…we could beat F.E.A.R.” Her voice had no hesitation in it and Andy only stared at her, gob smacked at this small girl. Here she had lost everything-she had no one left in her life and neither did he, his parents having been captured and killed in the same instant as Odessa’s mother and yet he knew that Perry was right.

“I see you’ve thought about this. Why the change of heart? Last I heard you had taken to bed and refused to get out even to eat.” Andy was smirking at her and Perry only blushed and tried to get her bangs out of her face. She had succumbed to depression-yes, but there was no sense in it. Nothing would get done if everyone sat around and mourned the ones they had lost.

“Jake made me understand something.” She said simply and Andy only smiled softly-Jake was good for those kinds of things sometimes.

“Did he?” Andy said as he crossed his tattooed arms over his chest and Perry only smiled and nodded her head. She could remember the first time she had ever seen Andy-he looked wild and strange to her with all of the markings on his skin, his half shaved hair and those blue eyes, but after meeting him she realized-he was just a guy with a dream and she had that same dream in her heart.

“Yes. We lose people all the time Andy, but that doesn’t mean they are really gone. Maggie, your parents, my parents and Odessa-they are all somewhere looking to us to finish what we started. We mourn them, but we can also do something else in their honor.” Perry stopped, sniffing away her own tears as Andy ran a finger underneath his eyes to catch his own. The mention of their lost families, the mention of her sister and his love-it was hard and it would always be hard.

“What’s that?” He asked his voice more gravelly than usual and she knew it was because he was holding back his tears. Persephone only smiled softly as she reached a hand across the table and placed it over his.

“We avenge them and we never let F.E.A.R forget who or what they took from us…ever.” They both shared a smile before rising from the table and walking towards the door.


They had lost ones they had loved, but they would never forget them…they had no other choice.

Notes

I know a lot of you are wondering why I killed both Maggie and Odessa-because I had to. Just like I had to kill Reece...their deaths are motivation for Perry and now Andy to really get things done. I hate to say it, but they really did have to die.

Review?