Oh my god, I can’t believe what happened last night, ill never be able to forgive myself or CC ever! I don’t have the strength to get out of my own bed this morning, all I can do is lay here and cry, knowing I’ve hurt my angel unintentionally. I don’t even remember what happened.

Last I remember was getting to the pub a little before 6 and I was waiting for CC, when he got there we had a few drinks and discussed the whole him liking me and we came to an agreement and then I remember nothing till I woke up later that night naked in bed with CC.

CC says I started it but I somehow doubt that, I m a terrible boyfriend, but yet as much as I love Andy these small feelings for CC start to appear and I try to push them away but they come back. Hopefully when I visit Andy today those feelings for CC will disappear straight away.

I really should shower, wash away my betrayal but I just couldn’t be bothered, I just want to hug and hold my angel. I drag myself from bed and rather quickly brush my hair and roughly do my makeup pulling my shoes on. I think ill walk today, get a bit of fresh air.

It’s a bright sunny day, I wish I felt the same as it looks on the outside, but I can only just manage a smile as I listen to my ipod, listening to BVB’s songs….listening to Andy’s voice and before I knew it I was at the institute, I was that surprised I almost ran into his room with joy just to be able to hug him wether he hugged me back or not.

I slowly walk into his room to see Jake and Jinx in there already sitting on the floor cross legged, almost in a circle with Andy holding dinosaur plush dolls. I have to admit Jake and Jinx are cute together and I m happy to see they are visiting Andy when they can.

‘Hey guys’

‘Hey Ash, how have you been, it’s been awhile hey?’

‘Yeah it has, well I’ve been better but I can’t complain since I m with Andy and all he’s the only one who really has a right to complain at the moment’

‘Yeah so true Ash, has he had any progress yet? Jinx gently locks hands with Jake as if praying something has changed.

‘Unfortunately no, it’s still the same results, I m keeping positive though, its good to see you guys visiting him still though’

‘Yeah of course, wed never forget Andy, I think the fans would hate us if we did, Hey CC’

I turn around and as I feared CC was standing by the door as well. I couldn’t hold myself; I had to get out of there as fast as I could. I pushed straight past CC and out of the door trying to hold back tears and ignoring the others calling me, I cant believe I’ve done this to my Angel…..I’m Sorry.