Save Me From Myself

The sound of a door slam shut echoed through the silence of the house making me groan slightly and pull the soft gray comforter over my head before snuggling back in the couch.

I heard shuffling through the house and two female voices that sounded a little familiar invade my quite morning before i gripped the warm blanket around my body tighter and slowly fading back into sleep.

Not too soon I was jolted awake by something being thrown on top of my body causing me to jump slightly with a groan as I lifted my head up to see what just happened.

Suddenly i saw a black purse laying on top of my legs and as I looked up i noticed Jinxx's girlfriend Sammi standing above me a small smirk on her lips as I heard another laugh

I was sure it was Sammi considering the amount of times i have met her when she toured with the guys and was at a Boston show or when i visited Jake last year.

She was sweet and very nice from all the times i had talked to her but I was too tired to even talk

" shit sorry didn't know you were there Julia" i heard her say as Ella soon walked next to her smiling like a idiot.

I nodded before shoving my head back into the pillow causing them both to laugh slightly .

'she should be in the guest room but it was too cluttered with Jakes speakers , guitars and other random shit so she either had to sleep on a guitar or the couch" Ella said still above me causing me to groan and shove my head deeper in the pillow wrapping the blanket tighter around my body.

" looks like she picked the easy way out. Shit at first I could have sworn it was Jess laying there but it made no sense why she would be here."

Once those words immediately left Sammi's mouth I remembered that she was talking about Ashley's little sister who was 16 and after being kidnapped at only age 4, finally got reunited with her brother again and was living down here with him.

Jake had mentioned her plenty of times to me ever since Jinxx had found her and from everything he's told me it was all good. I found out that her past wasn't perfect with fighting a great deal of depression, anxiety ,suicide attempts and self harm reminding me exactly of myself but I knew we were somewhat different in the way we chose to channel it all, but as Jake explained we were pretty similar.

she sounded like a cool person to get to know and Jake had made the notion that we would be really good friends if we got to know each other so i was hoping that would happen, i needed new friends to outweigh my bad past with terrible friendships And maybe she would be the start.

I was shot back into reality when I felt someone rub my head a little bit and chuckle causing me to shift away

" are you even listening to me julia?" Ella asked causing me to groan more and pull the blanket off my face a little bit

" no, i always try to block you out now let me sleep" i mumbled causing both of them to chuckle

" jesus christ they even talk the same, jess said something like that to you yesterday" sammi chuckled out as Ella gently shoved my body in payback.

" im scared if they ever become friends. like i was saying Julia im going out with Sammi for awhile, jakes just getting up and in the studio. I'll see you later ok?"She asked causing me to nod quickly and move back into the warm couch.

" beautiful have fun, now leave me alone " I felt ella ruffle my already messy hair before I also felt Sammi's purse lift off my tired body.

" Oh this is gonna be a lovely week, bye loser" she said before i heard her shuffle away from the couch

" nice seeing you again julia!" I heard Sammi call but all i could do was mutter something that I even didn't know before fading back into sleep.

I was still tired from the flight and the jet lag was not helping my situation what so ever even though my body should be awake if i was still in Boston , all i wanted was to sleep but i knew I wouldn't be sleeping for long.

For what must've been at least a half an hour later but felt like minutes I felt my body being shaken awake.

I groaned trying to burry back into my little cave of warmth but soon my blanket was ripped off me and bright light started to beam brightly in my face as I heard Jake let out a small laugh.

I rolled back over sitting up slightly to see Jake grinning at me from his spot just feet away from the couch with the blanket in his hand.

" oh good you're awake, that was a lot easier than I thought it would be" he said causing me to shake my head as I stretched my arms out flipping him off in the process

" fuck off" i muttered causing him to shake his head and smile while tossing the blanket back onto the couch while i let out a big yawn

" im all set. I was thinking we should get motivated to go check out your house now then go grab something to eat later. After that I think the guys were talking about hanging out so I wanted to head out as soon as you get ready"

I sighed standing up and stretching out my body but nodding as he smiled backing up slightly to give me space

" seems as even though I wanna sleep, i have no choice so I'll go get ready now . Do i at least have time to take a shower ?" i yawned out

He chuckled nodding before starting to head to the door that lead directly to the kitchen.

" of course you do you know where it is, theres towels in the closet right next to the bathroom. while you do that i'm gonna go take trixy out for a quick walk okay?"

I nodded causing him to smile as I lifted up my backpack on the coffee table to grab my stuff

" good. I'll be back in like 20 mins. Don't forget to take your pills, i laid both of them on the kitchen table for you , i'll be back!" He shouted while he slowly disappeared into the other room .

After the talk last night Jake decided that he would hold onto my medication while i stayed with him and Ella so that I kept track of taking them on time but i knew the real reason, he always out thought things and always took precaution.

And this time he was taking precaution so that I didnt do something stupid that caused the entire mess i call my life.

" got it dickhead!" I shouted causing a laugh to erupt from across the house and the sound of a collar jingling and a door slam shut made it clear that he was gone.

I sighed before going into the brightly lit kitchen where in the middle sat 4 tiny pills next to a cup of water just for me. I slowly walked over staring at the pills dreading to take them.

I hated the way those pills made me feel, they made me feel like I was a robot as well as a crazy person but did help with depression and my stress from anxiety but not with concentrating on school work or getting me off my habits.

I knew i couldve easily hid the pills, pretended i took them but i wasn't gonna do that to Jake, i wasn't that big of a monster.

I quickly popped my anxiety medication in my mouth taking a sip of water before heading back to the living room, Leaving my other pills for after i got ready.

I quickly grabbed my bag before heading up the stairs towards the bathroom that was at the very end of the hall next to the tiny room where jake kept the washer and dryers .

I took a look around the halls glancing at all the random picture frames holding memories hung up nicely along all the walls

. I paused right as I got up the stairs to the right wall where a medium sized frame was placed with a picture that made me smile.

It was me about 16 at the time backstage at warped tour 2011 last summer in Boston. I was standing in the trailer that lead directly to the main stage and my smile was wide as I think it could be as Jake stood next to me his left arm slung around my shoulders while his right gripped the neck of his guitar a smile plastered on his face as well.

I remember that day like it was yesterday ,it was my first warped tour and on my first time i was able to watch my older cousin play it with a whole mob of people watching.

I remember how excited I was to not only see jake but to see him play , at that time I was dealing with a lot of issues from school to family life and it sucked that they were touring so much I barely saw him so that entire day I got to spend with him was something special

. Back then when i was lucky to see my cousin in person i cherished those hours for as long as i needed to survive. I took a look at my appearance , i was wearing a cut off Black Veil Brides shirt with black skinny jeans and black vans.

My hair looked almost the same as it was now except it was still brown considering i didn't start dying my hair black till the following fall but one thing that was different was the way i looked,

I looked happier than I was today even though it was barely a year ago, that was the start of it all, the months before warped tour is when my life went downhill fast , that horrid year was when i met the wrong people and the wrong addictions to help with all the shit going on in my life.

I wish I could go back in time and slap myself in the face .

I noticed my wrists were lined with band bracelets to hide all my scars from when I self harmed , a stupid habit that i've tried to grow out of along with the others and I was doing good.

I was two months clean yet scars still littered my wrists making me want to hide every time i saw them but yet still create more.

No matter what I do, who i was with I realized I was never getting out of this mess.

Not right now that is. I decided to shake away all my thoughts before taking one last glance at my memory and quickly heading into the bathroom.


I pulled out a pair of black skinny jeans and black Pierce The Veil shirt from my bag hanging them on the towel rack before throwing the back pack on the floor and letting out a sigh.

I took a quick shower so that by the time Jake was back we could leave and considering I spent 10 minutes spacing out in the memory's , i didn't have much time.

By the time I was all dressed and just getting done brushing out my wet hair so that my bangs weren't hanging directly in my eyes but still Were clinging to my face ,I heard the front door slam and the rapid sound of trixy's collar jingling throughout the house.

Just as i flicked off the light and stepped outside the brightly lit hallway I heard Jake at the end of the stairway.

" you almost ready lazy?!" He shouted causing me to laugh slightly As I made my way past all the pictures and to the stairs

" right here dickhead!"

I could hear Jake chuckle slightly as I hit the last step shaking my hair out a little to make it fall in place while I noticed Jake leaning against the back of the couch on his phone .

Once he got a glimpse of me he smiled putting his phone in his skinny jeans pocket while i walked over to the other side dropping my black backpack on the couch

" great timing, i'll go start the car, why don't you go take your last two pills and i'll meet you in the car okay?" He asked slowly causing me to internally sigh but i let out a small smile nodding

" ok, dont talk to yourself too much in the car"

He chuckled a lil before flipping me off and pushing off the couch heading down the hall towards the front door.

" i'll be in the car weirdo!"

I took a deep breath in before quickly heading back into the brightly lit kitchen immediately seeing the two white pills still sitting on the table waiting just for me.

I lazily made my way over before picking them up and sighing once more while popping them in my mouth and taking a swig of water.

I placed the glass back on the table before heading towards the door to grab my Toms

. Here we go.

------------------

" Jesus christ, this is the house?" I asked from the passenger side of Jakes car while we pulled into the medium sized driveway revealing my new house I was amazed.

It wasn't a huge house , it was a fairly average sized house but the look of it was really neat and beautiful.

It was a light tannish color which was on top of what looked like stone. Windows outlined the front of the house as well as a huge window on the side of the house that overlooked the next house over and looked like was showing the inside of the living room which to me was pretty awsome.

It was a huge step up from the Boston house considering the architecture of house designs were much different

It also reminded me of my old house from a couple of blocks over but this was by far the best house I've lived in And i haven't even been inside of it .

Jake chuckled before looking at me and grinning while turning the car off

" I told you it was amazing"

I nodded once more before he smiled again and opened up his door to step out and onto the black pavement of the driveway .

I did the same still gazing at the house that stood in front of my gazing at it all.

The nice front yard, the two door garage that connected to the house with what looks like where the finished attic was , placed on top of it by the looks of three medium windows placed evenly around it.

I noticed a dark brown fence on the left side of the house next to the huge window with a gate attached to it that must lead to the back yard.

I smiled as Jake came next to me reaching in his pockets for the keys,

This was step 2 to starting over.

This house was a fresh start not having anything bad including habits or memories inside of it giving me a fresh start And i needed to keep it that way.

Jake cut of my thoughts by turning to his left slightly to look towards the house next to mine.

I glanced at it, it was smaller than mine but not by much and looked like a simple home for someone, then i realized why Jake was looking over there.

" must not be home yet, unless his cars in the garage" jake muttered glancing back towards me with a shrug.

" is that Andy's house?" I asked following behind Jake as he started to head up the stone pathway to the front door .

He nodded making me glance back at the house that was placed not too far from mine.

Damn when they said we were neighbors i thought maybe across the street, not directly next to me.

" yeah, thats the little bitches house" he sighed out making me chuckle right as he opened the tall white door and pushing it forward

" well, welcome home!" he exclaimed stepping into the bare house leaving me stand in front of the doorway

Holy Shit.

I took in the scenery around me, where I stood was in the middle of a small breeze way/ hall that connected to another room that I knew was the sitting room my mom wouldn't stop talking about.

To the right of me was a smooth gray door that my guessing let to the garage and finished attic.

Jake smiled at me before waving me into the sitting room slowly showing me around my new home as I stayed silent taking it all in.

The sitting room was medium sized with boxes after boxes scattered around the floor, baby blue walls lining this room and on the far right held a large glass window that overlooked the backyard

i took a step towards the window catching a glimpse of the back deck built off of my house, connecting to the large in ground pool , one feature that I forgot it even had.

The back yard was huge and full of bright green grass making me smile, back in Boston we barely had a yard let alone a nice house ,

One of the reasons why i missed California so much.

" oh my god" Jake laughed from next to me , giving my shoulder a squeeze making me advert my eyes towards his

" my first words when i saw this house for the first time too, come on we got more"

i nodded letting out a breath not sure if I wanted to see more, i knew it was all gonna be beautiful compared to my old home and I was right .

The sitting room opened up to the kitchen on the right which was a decent size as well with more windows looking outback including a sliding glass door that let outside right next to the island.

It was brightly lit with a new fridge and microwave , boxes lining the counters with most likely all the dishes and silverware.

Next I was shown the living room which was connected off the hallway that branched from the kitchen and held the staircaser to the upstairs and also looped back to the kitchen and sitting room in a circle, the staircase placed in the middle.

So far I was in love with this house, hoping that this could a sign that this year would be much different

"I got the TV finally set up last week and the couches came in as well so basically this is the only room close to being all set " jake commented as I leaned next to him to check it out

I nodded my head in approval but laughed seeing again more and more boxes cluttered the large space.

"almost there" i muttered making him chuckled and wrap his arm around me

"getting there, soon this will be all set up and finally feeling like a home, you like it so far?"

I nodded my head as he smiled giving me a kiss on my forehead making me smile

" good, now come on I want you to see your room "

Soon Jakes arm was pulled away from my shoulders and he was bounding towards the stair case making me giggle and copy his actions trying not to trip over boxes that were covering my floors

. " jesus christ slow down " i whined seeing Jake already at the top waiting for me with a smile

" oh quit being a baby"

I stuck my tongue out at him just as I hit the last step taking in my surroundings, the upstairs was a giant square that looped around the stair case, 6 doors spread out across it.

Boxes again were stern around the area with the name of which room it belonged to making me eternally grown knowing i would be putting most of it away

" so which room is mine you know since you picked it out instead of being normal and letting me" I asked causing him to chuckle slightly And point towards his right to a white door placed in the right corner of the hall.

" right here , and hush i bet you would've picked this room too just go" I rolled my eyes but made my way towards my new room Jake following right behind me.

I opened the door and once I stepped inside I let out a breath making him chuckle

" Jake" i breathed out looking around the room.

It was a decent sized room , a window placed on both sides of the the left corner of the walls that made the room nice and bright but thats not why I was taken away.

Besides a few of boxes resting near my feet the room was fully finished, the walls a darkish red reminding me of Jakes house, picture frames were placed around the walls some hard to know what they were of but from the looks of it , all were of me, jake and other family members.

My new bed was pushed against the corner that held the two windows , a black veil brides poster placed directly above the head of the bed making me smirk.

I noticed posters of random bands plastered around my room , how did he get the time to do this?

I noticed that my desk, dresser and TV stand already made it seeing them placed around my room, my tv and stand placed against the wall across from my bed ,

i stepped into the room and thats when I noticed something hanging above my TV.

Two of Jakes guitars that I was surprised he'd ever give up seeing that he used them so much. His red schecter rested on the left side of the tv while his silver cracked mocking bird that i was obsessed with was placed on the right.

" how do you like it? " I turned towards Jake who was standing in the doorway staring at me with a smile

" i - you did this?" I asked making him grin and nod his head

" of course I did, with some help from the guys" he replied with another smile.

I immediately shook my head and walked over to where he was wrapping my arms around his waist In a tight hug making him copy my actions

" i love it, thank you." i mumbled into his chest causing him to place a kiss on the top of my head

" you're very welcome, I told you I was gonna try to make this year the best for you, heres part of my promise"

I smiled wider nodding into his chest before he released the hug but kept his gaze on me.

" and since I've kept my promise, are you gonna try to keep yours?" He asked with a stern look on his face making me sigh and rub my face a little bit .

I knew that it was going to be very hard to keep this promise and part of me knew it wasn't going to last but for everything he's done for me over these past years, i knew i had to at least try

. " i'm gonna try my very best Jake but you know i'm not good at it, i always break them within months"

He gave me a small smile before leaning down to kiss the top of my head before walking over to my bed and sitting down on the black comforter

" I know it's going to be hard but this time you have me and Ella, you have my dad, you're not stuck alone anymore you have all of us and it will all work out i promise" he said patting the empty spot on the bed for me

I shrugged taking a seat next to him while he shifted to look at me.

I glanced at him and smiled It still amazed me how close me and jake were, he acted like my everything, brother , father, best friend and truth be told, he was my everything .

If i were having this conversation with anyone else I wouldn't even make a effort to try to change but this was different, All my life Jake has gone above and beyond to make me happy and make sure I was ok.

This guy cancelled a tour just to go see me so I owe him this no doubt. My thoughts were cut off as Jake smiled back at me before slinging a arm around my shoulders

" and you have all the guys and girls this time they all understand the situation and won't be bothered as well as don't forget about Jess, you and her although have some different features have gone through the same situations. You should try to get to know her you guys could benefit off of each other"

I nodded smiling a little, ever since I've heard about Jess I've wanted to meet her, she

seems to be the only person that I could actually connect to and i could use a person like that in my life I nodded before glancing around my new room my eyes scanning my closet door

" Am I going to meet Jess today?"

Jake instantly stiffened a tiny but making me grow confused. I shifted to face jake who glanced over at me and sighed rubbing my shoulder

" i wouldn't count on it most likely she'll stay at home" he replied his facial expression going back to normal

" why?"

He suddenly removed his arm as he began to chuckle making me raise an eyebrow at him, whats his problem.

" Well I guess you could say she's a little afraid of you" he trailed off making confusion build up

What?

"Why the hell would she be afraid of me? She doesn't even know me." I said making him stop laughing and moving his hand to fix his hair

" Well I mean first off she's very shy but she has heard me and Ella talk about you and after she found out what you do and how you, you know relapsed, it freaked her out"

Suddenly I felt a pang of pain hit my stomach, I haven't even met this girl who i know so much about her life and she has the right to judge me?

Maybe I was wrong about her, and i wish I wasn't.

" seriously?"

Jake instantly caught the hint of me being upset and quickly sighed

" julia don't get upset let me explain" he said making me sigh but nod my head giving him permission to explain

" jess has had some bad experiences with people that are mixed with drinking and drugs. You know what happened between her and that kid Will that night at the party it scared the living shit out of her

" I relaxed remembering him telling me all about .

It was when the guys were all away and jess and her boyfriend got in a fight breaking up making Jess go off to a party with some kid who I guess was in her old band.

From all I've heard that guy is a grade A asshole and got Jess real drunk then trying to drug her just to use her for sex.

Thankfully Andy was able to come to the rescue but I still could only imagine how scaring that would be and I forgot about it.

But I wasn't like that I never intend to get drunk or high just to do it, it gets me distracted from my problems and struggles and disgusted me to be compared to that asshole.

" I remember Jake but doesn't she know i'm not like that?"

He sighed standing up , fixing his black Motley cru shirt looking down at me

" i don't think it matters kid because not only was there that asshole but when she was kidnapped, she didn't go into a happy family kid she got dragged into a house full of drunk bastards. From all I've heard they were scum and low lifes who could care less if they sent her to school with beat marks all over her body "

Instantly my heart sank , how cruel could someone be to not only steal a child but to beat and neglect that child? It sickened me.

" And well, will wasn't the only person to try and -"

he instantly stopped shaking his head

" you get the idea all I need to say is that man who kidnapped her, is a sick fucking bastard and i swear if he ever tries to come near her again will get the shit beat out of him" he said making my eyes grow wide

"Fuck" i muttered making him nod and me want to punch myself for getting upset at someone I barely fucking know

"Understand now? It's not you I know she wants to meet you but she has trust issues with anyone mixed in with drugs because all the times she's tried, they ended up pretty crappy"

I nodded before standing up and taking in a deep breath trying to relax.

" well that would have been good to know like 5 mins ago Jake " I said making him smirk at me but shrug

" its fine you didn't know but don't worry about it okay? Im sure you'll be friends no doubt just be that one person she meets that isn't like the rest okay? That means no smoking, pills. All gone"

I sighed nodding making him smile and leaning in to give me a hug

" i'll try my best"

" thats all i ask for but don't beat yourself over this, you both are a little stubborn which is why you two being friends would interesting " he said making me sigh again into Jakes chest

I wasn't so sure how it would go when I meet Jessica, it could go either ways and I could gain a new friend but now I was afraid my past was again going to ruin any chance of things getting better.

And Only time will tell just as it always does

Notes

Sorry if these chapters seem like fillers, more interesting stuff in store! Don't forget that this story is combined with my twin's story ' My Feet Are Dangling Off The Edge"thanks for reading!