Sometimes You Just Have To Let Go
Souls cannot be fooled.
Scarlett's p.o.v.
As Andy made his way to the microphone the whole crowd screamed.
"How are you motherfuckers doing tonight!" He yelled to the crowd, and in response the crowd once again screamed at the top of their lungs.
Andy smirked.
He said a few more things, but I couldn't focus on what he was saying, I was too busy staring at him. Analyzing every tattoo, and trying to get a good glimpse of those startling blue eyes.
Before I knew it the band started to play and the concert begun.
I kept notice Andy looking down at me and I couldn't help but see that Ashley looked down at Alex more than once. He probably just wants to get in her pants, I thought to myself. I was never going to let that happen, I love Alex way too much for someone to use her like that.
i glanced to Alex and noticed her staring at Ashley.
Oh god. She's falling for him.
Ugh maybe I'm over thinking everything.
Before I could finish my thoughts, the song Resurrect the Sun came on, interrupting me .
the way Andy sang at the beginning gave me goosebumps and I started to feel my eyes close as I swayed to the beat.
i found myself doing that for the rest of the songs and before I knew it, the concert was over.
i slowly opened my eyes and noticed Andy deeply staring at me and our eyes met.
I couldn't help what I was feeling.
It felt like I had known him my whole life, like we were soulmates.
"Soulmates?! As if! Even if he did like you, you would have way too much emotional walls for him. Your broken and he doesn't want to fix you. As soon as you let him in and he sees your nasty, scarred body, he will leave you. You're disgusting and the only one who truly loves you is your razor"
Said the voice in my head.
My face went blank.
The voice was right. He could never love me, ever. And I could never open up to him.
I quickly looked away from him.
Andy gave his little "Thanks for coming, you guys are awesome", speech but once again, I wasn't listening.
All I could think about was the razor that was hiding behind my phone case.
As the band exited the stage, people started to file out.
"Ohemjizzle!!! That was amazing! I cannot wait to meet the whole band now!!" Alex called out breaking me away from my thoughts.
"Yeah, it was." Was all I could say, and once again threw on that fake smile.
"Hey, Albino Kangaroo! I'm gunna go to the bathroom, do you want me to just meet you at the meet and greet?"
i asked cautiously not wanting her to see the real reason for me going to the bathroom.
Even she didn't know I cut.
"uhm, sure! But hurry up, okay girl?" Alex said before dashing off ahead of me as I turned towards the bathroom.
"alrighty," I said not even bothering to put on my fake smile.
Awesome, no one was in the bathroom.
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(DONT READ IF YOU TRIGGER EASILY!)
I made my way into a stall and popped open my phone case revealing a new razor I had been saving, just incase.
I made about 10 lines within 3 minutes, none of them being too deep.
I wiped up my wrist with some toilet paper and then flushed away the evidence, being sure to put the razor back in my case.
I went to the mirror and just looked at myself.
I had failed myself. Two weeks clean, went down the drain once again because I couldn't help my urges. I quickly looked away not wanting to see the girl staring back at me anymore.
I quickly re-adjusted my bracelets, making sure to cover up the new, angry, red lines.
------------------------------------------------–-----------------------------
I made my way out of the bathroom and bumped into Alex.
"I thought we were going to meet at the meet an greet.." I said suddenly getting nervous.
"Oh I know, but you were taking forever and I didn't want you to miss out, now come on!" She replied as she grabbed my hand and dragged me towards the quickly shortening line of VIPS. We were the last ones in line and soon it was our turn. I gulped an pushed aside the voice and my fears.
If anything I was going to act happy, for Alex's sake. She did all of this for her an I and I wasn't going to be ungrateful.
I plastered on my fake smile and we made our way into to BVB dressing room.
"Here we go..." I thought to myself as we we were greeted by a very hyper CC
As Andy made his way to the microphone the whole crowd screamed.
"How are you motherfuckers doing tonight!" He yelled to the crowd, and in response the crowd once again screamed at the top of their lungs.
Andy smirked.
He said a few more things, but I couldn't focus on what he was saying, I was too busy staring at him. Analyzing every tattoo, and trying to get a good glimpse of those startling blue eyes.
Before I knew it the band started to play and the concert begun.
I kept notice Andy looking down at me and I couldn't help but see that Ashley looked down at Alex more than once. He probably just wants to get in her pants, I thought to myself. I was never going to let that happen, I love Alex way too much for someone to use her like that.
i glanced to Alex and noticed her staring at Ashley.
Oh god. She's falling for him.
Ugh maybe I'm over thinking everything.
Before I could finish my thoughts, the song Resurrect the Sun came on, interrupting me .
the way Andy sang at the beginning gave me goosebumps and I started to feel my eyes close as I swayed to the beat.
i found myself doing that for the rest of the songs and before I knew it, the concert was over.
i slowly opened my eyes and noticed Andy deeply staring at me and our eyes met.
I couldn't help what I was feeling.
It felt like I had known him my whole life, like we were soulmates.
"Soulmates?! As if! Even if he did like you, you would have way too much emotional walls for him. Your broken and he doesn't want to fix you. As soon as you let him in and he sees your nasty, scarred body, he will leave you. You're disgusting and the only one who truly loves you is your razor"
Said the voice in my head.
My face went blank.
The voice was right. He could never love me, ever. And I could never open up to him.
I quickly looked away from him.
Andy gave his little "Thanks for coming, you guys are awesome", speech but once again, I wasn't listening.
All I could think about was the razor that was hiding behind my phone case.
As the band exited the stage, people started to file out.
"Ohemjizzle!!! That was amazing! I cannot wait to meet the whole band now!!" Alex called out breaking me away from my thoughts.
"Yeah, it was." Was all I could say, and once again threw on that fake smile.
"Hey, Albino Kangaroo! I'm gunna go to the bathroom, do you want me to just meet you at the meet and greet?"
i asked cautiously not wanting her to see the real reason for me going to the bathroom.
Even she didn't know I cut.
"uhm, sure! But hurry up, okay girl?" Alex said before dashing off ahead of me as I turned towards the bathroom.
"alrighty," I said not even bothering to put on my fake smile.
Awesome, no one was in the bathroom.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(DONT READ IF YOU TRIGGER EASILY!)
I made my way into a stall and popped open my phone case revealing a new razor I had been saving, just incase.
I made about 10 lines within 3 minutes, none of them being too deep.
I wiped up my wrist with some toilet paper and then flushed away the evidence, being sure to put the razor back in my case.
I went to the mirror and just looked at myself.
I had failed myself. Two weeks clean, went down the drain once again because I couldn't help my urges. I quickly looked away not wanting to see the girl staring back at me anymore.
I quickly re-adjusted my bracelets, making sure to cover up the new, angry, red lines.
------------------------------------------------–-----------------------------
I made my way out of the bathroom and bumped into Alex.
"I thought we were going to meet at the meet an greet.." I said suddenly getting nervous.
"Oh I know, but you were taking forever and I didn't want you to miss out, now come on!" She replied as she grabbed my hand and dragged me towards the quickly shortening line of VIPS. We were the last ones in line and soon it was our turn. I gulped an pushed aside the voice and my fears.
If anything I was going to act happy, for Alex's sake. She did all of this for her an I and I wasn't going to be ungrateful.
I plastered on my fake smile and we made our way into to BVB dressing room.
"Here we go..." I thought to myself as we we were greeted by a very hyper CC
@bvb army girl 64
Thank you!!!!
8/30/14