Ash’s Pov

I’ve been hanging out with Dan and his group for about three weeks now. Yep. It’s been that long since CC changed back and I had yet to change. In those three weeks, I did even better in all of my classes accept PE. I began to fail PE. At first it was because even though I dressed out and got excellent mile times when we ran, I was tired for the majority of class and I’d skip about two days of the week. In those three weeks, I had gotten accustomed to smoking weed that it took more than four hits to get me high. I wasn’t a light weight anymore. Getting it passed Jinxx was hard but also easy. Hard in that he would notice small things when he was around but easy because he wasn’t around too much. It was like I was my own adult at 15. What sucks a little bit is that I stopped talking to the guys. I mean I talk to Dan and everyone at school and at the parties but when were not getting high, I’m at home. CC hasn’t texted me in awhile either. I guess I hadn’t texted him back any of the times he texted because I was always too high to notice my phone ring at the time.

Jinxx was also only around in the mornings to drive me to school and late at night. He apologized but I didn’t really mind. It made what I was doing so much easier. This morning, he woke me up before he left and said he had to go into the studio and start earlier than normal and possibly stay late again meaning I had to walk to AND from school today. Since I started hanging out with Dan and his group, I hadn’t gotten full on jumped since the day CC got expelled. I didn’t want to go to school today but I had to. My stomach felt weird and my head was pounding. Ignoring the idea of food, I got dressed in black jeans, black vans, a black shirt and a black hoodie. Yes. I like black and I also like that it hides the possible blood that could seep through if I moved a certain way. Despite not being harassed as bad lately, I couldn’t stop cutting. It felt like I couldn’t feel anymore and the only thing I could feel was the cuts and when they started to heal a little bit, I needed to make more to feel again. I’d cut because I ate something, I’d cut if I felt lonely, I’d cut if I felt depressed, I cut if I had Anxiety.


It was really getting out of hand and that scared me but it also made me feel power. I couldn’t control not talking to the guys, I mean I could message them but they haven’t been answering. Its like they’ve replaced me. I don’t know what going on in the band anymore and that scared me. Throwing my back pack on gently, I opened the door and then locked it before closing it and making my walk to school. By the time I got to school, I was tired and just wanted to go to bed. I went through first period and felt like shit the entire time. Second period it was worse. The teacher yelled at me for zoning out and continued to chew me out about respect despite my high grade and the effort I put into her class. By the time third period came around, I wanted to curl up and die. My head hurt even more, my stomach felt like it was being ripped apart, it hurt to breathe and like I couldn’t breathe, my whole body was sore and I wanted to cry from what the teacher called me. She called me a worthless little bitch that wouldn’t amount to anything because I never tried to reach my potential.


Who was she to put me down? She knew nothing about me but yet her she was making her assumptions at me. During break, Dan saw me and suggested that I skipped the rest of the day and just went home. I refused but during fourth period I started to feel like I should’ve taken his advice. Fifth period came and I decided to just stay the rest of the day since it was almost over. I was in the locker room dressing out since I really didn’t want to run and do jumping jacks despite still having a broken wrist. My teacher is a huge dick.We were playing hockey and I was barely able to stand up right. The teacher yelled at me for not ‘participating enough’ despite me actually trying. Back in the locker room after class ended, the mean girls confronted me and told me a bunch of wonderful things that completely helped my self esteem. Note the sarcasm. One girl pushed my head into the locker, another than hit me in the ribs and one was cruel enough to kick my cast when I felt to the ground.

When I finally was able to get up, lunch was almost over. I got to where the group was and sat down and closed my eyes. They asked me what was wrong and all I could mutter was, “don’t feel good.” I was now beyond tired and done with anyone’s bull shit. “I’m taking you home and that’s final. You look like shit no offence.” I mumbled, “thanks.” he said, “Ryan wanna drive us to her house or do u wanna lend me your car?” Ryan immediately answered, “I’ll drive. Anyone else coming?” Tia declined because she had a presentation in Spanish next period and she actually did the work and everything. Natalie was still not used to me and said that she wanted to watch Tia actually present something for a change. Shane wanted to come but he had to take a math test later and since was actually good at math, it would be able to save his grade. Phil decided to come with us. He hated English and had a decent class so it was fine by him to skip one class today.

See that the thing with these kids, they all do extremely well in school when they show up and do work. Their parents don’t care what they do as long as they pass with passing grades and show interest in having a future. Phil and Dan want to make videos on youtube as well as Shane and Ryan. Ryan was the odd one of the group. He was probably the smartest in any given subject and could speak Japanese, English, Spanish and Hawaiian. He also played the violin, piano and flute. Like I said, he was the odd one in that he would have a very bright future but he still sticks with the group. I think he does it for the same reason I do, a friends a friend and so is a good time.

Picking me up, Dan gave me a piggy back ride to Ryan’s car where we then got in and had to sneak past security. Shane and Tia ran around the parking lot screaming that they saw a UFO hence creating a commotion for me and the guys to leave during. Dan gave Ryan the instructions to my house as I sat in the back seat clutching my stomach. Phil had my head in his lap and was rubbing it softly trying to relieve pressure but it wasn’t working. We soon arrived at my house. Dan asked if he should call my uncle and I said no because he was busy. I convinced everyone but Dan to go back to school. Dan said he would go when someone came home but I knew that could be very late. I had a couple options. I could call Jinxx, I could call Juliet or I could Vic. I personally wanted to call Vic but I knew that calling Juliet would be the best bet at the moment. My stomach had a spasm and I was in so much pain that there was no way I could talk to anyone on the phone. Handing Dan the phone I said, “speak.”


“Hello?” he asked.

“Hi who is this?” Juliet asked.

“This is Dan, I’m a friend of Ashley’s from school.”

“Hello Dan. What can I help you with?”

“Well, you see Ash wasn’t feeling good all day and she got even worse during lunch so our other friends drove me and her home. She wants me to go back to school but I don’t want to leave her alone, I asked her if there was anyone I could call and she told me to call you.”

“I am unfortunately in Florida right now. If you call my boy friend Andy however, he might be able to help. He shouldn’t be busy right now if I remember right.”

“Thanks Miss.”

“No problem oh and tell Ash I hope she’s feeling better soon.”

“Will do. Bye.”

“Bye.” Hanging up he handed me the phone so I could dial Andy. He then put the phone to his ear waited.


“Hello is this Andy?”

“Uh yes, who is calling?”

“Hi. I’m Dan I’m a friend of Ashley’s.”

“Hi Dan.”

“Hi. So today at school Ash looked like she didn’t feel good but she wanted to stay so she did until lunch time. Around lunch time she felt really really bad so my friend Ryan drove us to her house and I’m here with her now. She wants me to go to school and finish my last class but I don’t want to leave her alone. I asked her if there was anyone I could call and she told me Juliet who I called and told me to call you.”

“Oh-Kay. So her uncle is with me as well as CC who I’m sure you know as well as her other uncle. We are currently in San Diego working on something. You see were in a band and there was an emergency down here and we were called to fill in and do a concert. We wont be home until tomorrow morning.”


What? They were doing a concert without me. Tears began to form in my eyes a little bit. I needed them and they were all to far away.

Dan asked, “Is there anyone else I can call?”

Andy answered, “no. We’re the only family she has.”

“Alright. So I’ll stay with her I guess.”

“Thank you Dan, it means a lot to us. I promise we’ll do something for you when we get back.”

Dan hung up and gave me a small smile. I tried to return it but I couldn’t. Now, not only did my body hurt, my heart hurt. The guys who promised that if I ever needed them, they would be here for me and now, they weren’t here and to top it off, they were doing a show without me. There was one last person left in my contact book that Dan could call and that was Vic. I took the phone and dialed the number and waited for it to ring.

“Hey Ash.”

“Hey Vic. What are you up too?”

“Nothing much, me and the HI-ME time drove up to LA with Mike today to visit our record company for a meeting. Why?”

“Well my uncle and all of his band mates are in San Diego for a show and I’m sick and my friend Dan is here with me but he needs to go back to school for his last class and get home so he cant stay with me much longer but he doesn’t want to leave me here alone.”


“Your at Jinxx’s house right?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright darling, me and the boys will be over in about 15 minutes. Thankfully we aren’t to far away. See you then.”


I hung up the phone. “So my uncle’s friends who I know pretty well are coming over. They’ll be here in about 15 minutes.” Dan nodded and then sat down on the couch next to me. We sat in silence because I couldn’t be bothered to talk until the door bell rang and Dan went to answer it. He asked a question to make sure it was who was supposed to be at the door. He asked, “who are you and why did you come to LA today?” Vic answered, “we are ¾ of Pierce The Veil and we were meeting with our record company today when our friend’s niece called and said she was sick.”

“Good enough. Correct answer. You may enter.” Dan said as he let my three of my four favorite Mexicans in or should I sexicans (cause their sexy). Vic was the first in the room and when he saw me groaning on the couch, he was at my side in moments feeling my forehead and trying to figure out what was wrong. I told him what all hurt. Jaime was asking Dan about how I felt and looked earlier while Mike went to go get me water. Once they settled in, Dan left and the real fun began. And by fun I mean interrogation. “I met him at school before you ask.” Jaime smiled and said, “that was one of many questions.” I groaned and moved and tried to get comfy on the couch. “Oh and someone should call someone from my uncle’s band and tell him that I found someone to stay with me until they get back.” Mike pulled out his Iphone and said, “I’ll call who ever I have in my contact book. I think I have Ashley.” I went to say something but my voice failed, oh boy was I fucked when I had to explain why my phone was ringing.

The phone rang and I put the blanket over my head. Vic took it off and said, “Why did your phone ring when he tried to call Ashley?” “Uh cause I have his phone? We have the same color of Iphones and the same case. We accidentally mixed them up the other morning and he’s been so busy with the band that he hasn’t switched back with me.”They didn’t want to buy it but they replied, “alright.” Vic sighed and said, “I believe I have Jinxx’s number.”


“I’ll call him I guess.” They nodded and I clicked his contact and pressed send.

“Hey uncle Jinxx.”

“Hey Ash. You’ll never believe who just called me.”

“Who?”

“Your school. So do you want to tell me why you’ve been skipping? Or better yet why you have an F in PE? That’s one of the easiest classes. Let me guess why. While I’ve been away, you decided you could get away with being one of those kids who is too cool for school?”

“I had a good reason to skip today.”

“And what’s that? You didn’t feel like learning? It made your head hurt?”

“Well if you were around this morning, you would’ve seen that I could barely think let alone function but yet I still went to school. I did my best to pay attention and got chewed out by a teacher for no reason. Oh and that same teacher told me I was a worthless bitch who wouldn’t amount to anything because I couldn’t be bothered to do my work.”

“Maybe she was right.”

“You did not just go there. Y’know what. When you guys get back, I’m leaving. I’m done. You’ve done the one thing you said you wouldn't do. Any of you.”

“And what’s that?”

“Leave a man behind. We all promised the day the band started that no one got left behind. But yet here I am in LA and you’re in San Diego. Besides, who’s going to play tonight?”


”Andy knows your parts as well. Remember he also plays bass. We don’t need you.”

“When you come back, we’re going to discuss this because I am sick of taking your shit. I’m done. Done. So I’m going to hang up before I end up quitting. Good fucking bye Jinxx. Good bye.”

I hung up and threw the phone to the floor. Vic asked, “What the hell was that?” I answered, “That was the reveal of my dirty little secret that I got stuck with.” He raised an eyebrow.

“This is going to sound really crazy but it’s the truth.” pausing I continued on, "CC and me went out trick or treating on Halloween. We pranked a lot of people and we’re a handful of trouble. This is where it gets crazy. So CC and me go to bed that night feeling weird and we wake up as 3 year olds. It was crazy. We find out that in order for us to ‘age’ we have to complete a series of tasks. The first were becoming good kids and then went up to proper behavior and stuff like that. From there we became 7 year olds and then a preteen before becoming a teen. I’m now a teen. CC became an Adult before I did so he’s back to normal but I’m not. I’m stuck as a 15-year-old girl. Oh and that, that was Jinxx yelling at me and me possibly quitting what I love most.”


“You got a big imagination kid.” Jaime said to me. “I got proof.” I said as I handed them the letter. Afterwards, they shook their heads and said, “wow. That’s crazy. Now why is he mad at your school stuff?”

“I’m doing great in all of my classes except PE. It’s my worse class because the teacher hates me more than anyone else. He made me run and do a bunch of activity despite me having a broken wrist and he refuses to let me take breaks or anything and thinks I’m faking a broken wrist. It’s real though. So instead of going to class all the time, I skip a few times a week and I don’t get caught leaving only returning cause it’s my 5th period and I have 6 classes. And on some days I just skip it completely. I do good in everything else but running some days. Cause some days I’m to tired to even move but yet I walk to school and get everything I need done before passing out each night. Jinxx has been having issues himself and now he’s been all moody since.”

“Kid, skipping isn’t the best thing to do. Even though you’re not a kid, this is your life right now. What if you didn’t return to Ashley Purdy but remained Ashley Ferguson for the rest of your life?” Mike questioned.

“Well than I have a shittier life than before. It was nice before but now its crap.” I said glumly.

Mike gave me a hug and Vic asked, “how is it crap now?” I gave him a sad smile and said, “I get beat up sometimes at school. Well it used to be all the time when CC went but now because I found some friends, its not as bad. Jinxx and his wife were arguing all the time and so it was really awkward. They fought over me a couple times so I feel bad and like it’s my fault they have issues in their marriage. And then there’s the fact that I’m a girl and I don’t wanna be a girl anymore. I want to be Ashley Purdy, Bassist of Black Veil Brides or well at this point former bassist.”

“You got to remain positive, that’s a start. You are whom you surround yourself with. So if you’re around negative people, you’re negative.” Vic said as he turned the TV on. A spasm ripped through my stomach and I got up from the couch and ran to the toilet and began to throw up. Mike was behind me instantly and held my hair back as I was being sick in the toilet. What’s funny is I had nothing to throw up yet there was stuff coming out of my mouth. When it finally stopped, I was sweating, cold and my head hurt even more than before. Jaime got some towels and tried to clean me up a little bit and helped me brush my teeth while Vic went to find a bucket and, Mike helped Jaime.

Jaime was about to pull my sleeves up when I stopped him and said, “it’s fine.” He stopped thankfully and then went to go get something. He returned with a scale he found somewhere and said bluntly, “stand on it.” I shook my head no. Mike then lifted me onto it and then let go of me. I tried to get off but he stopped me and wouldn’t let me get off until they saw the numbers. When the numbers finally came up, I looked away. As I tried to step off, I got dizzy which resulted in Mike Carrying me back to the couch. I sat with a scowl as he put me down.

“Someone you height should weigh probably around 120 you weigh 102.” Jaime said softly. I shook my head. Mike pulled me close and hugged me and said, “kiddo, you need to eat something. I have a feeling that when you do, your going to feel a lot better.” I shook my head. “Alright, we’re gonna drop the subject for now but we will talk about this, alright?” I nodded. I closed my eyes and tried to get the pounding in my head to stop. When it didn’t, I got up and went to the cabinet to take some Tylenol. I guess someone should’ve followed me because the moment I saw the Tylenol I had one thought and that was eternal sleep. Grabbing a glass of water, I then opened the bottle of pills and began to pour some onto the counter. I had two already down and I was about to put a handful down when Vic walked into the kitchen. The moment he saw me, he ran over and began to try to stop me. I managed to get some more in my mouth but he then stuck his hand in my mouth and pulled them out before I could swallow the pills.


He called for Jaime who then got a blanket and wrapped me up in it and carried me off to the living room; all I could think of was how my plan backfired. Mike went up to my room to get me a new pair of sweat pants and a hoodie because mine were soaked with sweat because of the fever I had. From that point on, I never left anyone’s sight. When Mike returned with the fresh clothes, I had to change under a pile of blankets. Vic handed me a glass of water every 15 minutes and made me drink it. Jaime made me eat a cracker every thirty minutes. And Mike, Mike sat there and watched a movie with me. Life sucks and things happen but in this moment, I was content despite the trouble I knew was coming tomorrow. And with exhaustion creeping up on me, I snuggled into who ever had their arm around me and fell asleep.

Notes

hello there! hope you enjoyed the chapter (: please Review. let me know someone enjoys this. please. thanks <3

~Ash