Lost It All

A couple weeks had gone by since Andy and Carolyn's intimate incident. They hadn't talked about what happened and frankly, Carolyn would rather just forget it altogether. She wouldn't even let Andy sleep in bed with her anymore. She was making him sleep on the couch, which he found odd but did it for her.

Andy was beginning to see a change in Carolyn and he was growing more and more worried as the days went by. He could tell she wanted so desperately to be in control of herself when really, her whole life had spiraled down away from her and all control she had on her fate had been flushed down the toilet with her undigested food she kept throwing up. Although, Andy didn't know this; at least for now he didn't. Would he ever?

Carolyn was changing her daughter and was searching through piles of clothes but it seemed everything she tried to put Aria in was too small. She groaned, picking up her quickly growing child and bouncing her in her arms.

She walked out into the hallway and ran into Andy. He smiled down at her. "We should do something today!." He exclaimed. "You haven't been out of the house in weeks and I think it would be nice for us all to go out somewhere. Don't you think?"

"Actually," Carolyn began, switching Aria to her other side. "We need to go shopping. She's grown out of everything."

"Great!" Andy was excited to finally get Carolyn out into the sunlight again. "I'll drive." He grabbed the keys off the kitchen counter and was out the door.

Carolyn smiled weakly at Andy's eagerness to take her out. He had always been so good to her and she never understood why. What had she ever done for him that allowed her to deserve the treatment she had been getting? She did nothing for him and he had given her everything she had ever wanted.

****


The store was rather busy for a Tuesday morning but Carolyn tried not to think too much of it. She held Andy's hand and pushed Aria around in the stroller with the other, glancing at items here and there as she passed by.

"This is cute, don't you think?" She held up a tiny t-shirt with a ballerina on it.

Andy crossed his arms over his chest. "Ballerinas? Really?"

"What?" Carolyn sounded offended. "She's my little baby ballerina."

Andy shook her off. "Whatever, Carolyn. You're the mother. Buy her whatever you want. I'm gonna go look around."

Carolyn grimaced as she watched Andy saunter off to explore the rest of the department store. She was rather hurt by his comment about the ballerina shirt. She didn't understand what was getting him so uptight about ballet. He knew ballet was always her dream and he had always supported her on it until now. She didn't understand. Ballet wasn't hurting him, was it? Or was it hurting her?

Aria started to whimper and Carolyn soothed her by smoothing her hand over the soft black hair growing on her head. "No, no, shh." She hummed. She grabbed a few more things on her way to the front of the store to check out. Aria had clearly had enough for one day and that was Carolyn's cue to head home. If Aria had had enough, so had Carolyn.

The girl at the register looked to be no older than seventeen with purple braces and a few zits plastered on her face. Her black glasses framed her sad looking eyes and Carolyn couldn't help but notice the Black Veil Brides t-shirt she was wearing as her items were being rung up.

"Nice shirt." Carolyn complimented.

The girl looked up at Carolyn. "Thanks..." She trailed off and continued ringing up items.

"I used to really like them when I was your age, too." Carolyn continued.

"Cool." The girl stated.

Andy ran up next to Carolyn holding up a Batman logo tee he had found in the clearance section of Men's. "Babe, please." He begged. "It's the last one."

Carolyn let out a breathy laugh. "Alright." She shrugged and he placed the t-shirt down on the table.

The young girl's sad eyes brightened at the sight of Andy. "You're... You're..." She tried to speak but became lost.

"Nice shirt." Andy complimented the way Carolyn had earlier.

The girl stared at Andy with her mouth half way open and her eyes wide. Andy began to feel uncomfortable. "So..." He attempted to get the girl to finish their transaction so they could get out of the store.

"Right," The girl said, focusing back on the computer screen. "Your total is 138.47"

"Fuck." Carolyn muttered under her breath as she swiped her card.

The girl pressed some button on her screen and looked at Carolyn from over her glasses. "Sorry, you're card is being declined. Is there another card you can use?"

"Shit..." Carolyn began digging through her bag trying to find some money but she came up empty.

Andy stepped in front of her with his fancy Amex card in his hand. "I got it."

"And go ahead and sign here." The girl pointed to the small screen. "And then sign here..." She slid a blank piece of receipt tape towards him from across the counter.

Andy chuckled and signed the piece of paper for her. She took it back and folded it up, sticking it in her back pocket. "Alright, you're all set." She passed the bag over to Andy. "Have a good day, Andy!" She exclaimed as he began walking out with Carolyn.

"Seeing you was the most excited she sounded the whole time I was up there." Carolyn observed, putting Aria in her car seat.

"I have that affect on people." He flipped his imaginary long hair.

Carolyn rolled her eyes and got into the passengers side. She loved Andy and there was no one else in the world she could imagine being with. But her demons were growing too strong. Her stomach growled, crying out to her and begging her to fill it with food. She was changing. She wasn't the Carolyn anyone knew anymore. Carolyn was gone.

Notes

OH MY GOD I AM SO SORRY IT'S BEEN A YEAR. I PROMISE I WILL NEVER LET THAT HAPPEN AGAIN AND NO I DIDN'T FORGET ABOUT THIS STORY. IT'S JUST I'VE BEEN SO BUSY AND I HAVE OTHER SUPER ACTIVE WORKS I'M WRITING RIGHT NOW AND I HAD THE WORST WRITERS BLOCK FOR THIS THAT I'VE EVER HAD IN MY LIFE GOD I AM SO FUCKING SORRY