Lost It All

Andy approached a red light and turned to look at Carolyn. Her skin was pale and delicate, her cheeks were thinning and her eyes looked as though they were caving in on themselves. Carolyn was sick, but with what was beyond anything Andy could guess.

"You look beautiful." He said, taking her hand and focusing his attention back on the road as the light turned green.

"I don't," She shook her head and tried to pull her hand away from his touch but he held on firmly. "But thanks anyway..." Carolyn turned her attention to the back seat where their daughter was. "She's sound asleep." Carolyn observed out loud.

"I have an idea." Andy said, giving her hand a slight squeeze. "We drop her off at home with your dad and you and I go out for a night together. We can get dinner and just go out and adventure. We're still young, and having a kid now has made us act so much older than we really are."

Andy had a point. Carolyn couldn't remember the last time she had fun since getting pregnant with Aria. All her attention ever went into was her dancing or her daughter; and now, her appetite.

"Let's just go out to a bar or something, get some good food in us, get super wasted and stay out until 3 am on the city street." Andy's words sounded like music to her ears, all except the too sharp note that made the melody sting in her ears and that was 'dinner'. Food. It was her biggest enemy and had been for 3 months. She was starving and food was all she really wanted but she couldn't. Eating equals fat.

"Okay, that sounds fun." She agreed, even though her mind was screaming, crying out to her not to.

***

Andy quietly hummed along to the soft music drifting from the stereo of the somewhat chilled car. Carolyn had her forehead pressed up against the cool glass and tried to ignore the fact that they were on their way to a restaurant to eat.

"Are you sure everything is okay?" Andy asked suddenly.

Carolyn lifted her head from the window and could still feel a cool oval on her forehead from the window. "Yeah." She stated simply.

Andy shrugged and shook his head slightly. "I feel like I lost you somewhere along the way, Carolyn. Ever since Aria and that audition, I feel like I've just lost you in the sea of all the things happening in our lives."

Carolyn turned her attention back to the window and the city rolling by her. "I lost myself a long time ago." She said.

Notes

This chapter is kind of short but I just couldn't figure out how to continue so I decided to just stop there and start up with a new chapter later on. And I know I said like forever ago that I was going to post the chapter the next day but I couldn't. For anyone who doesn't know, I do suffer from depression and it makes it very hard to write sometimes. Even though I really want to, I can't bring myself to sometimes because I'm just so tired and all I do is sleep a lot and it's really hard. I'm starting up therapy pretty soon since I've been putting it off for almost 7 years... But that's the reason why I have trouble getting chapters up regularly. I do have school work sometimes and I do work a lot to help pay off my loans but most of the time it's really just cause I can't force myself to write and I know if I try to force it, it won't be good quality. So I just wanna say thank you guys for understanding and sticking with me and my shitty updating. I'm going to really try and get back into writing a chapter at least once a week while I'm on break from school. Now that the holidays are over, I'm not working every day so I have some time. I've been working on this story for close to two years now and I really want to finish it soon