Lost It All

As she walked down the sidewalk with Aria giggling in the stroller, Carolyn couldn't help but notice the empty feeling in her stomach as it growled at her to fill it. She needed a distraction or some kind of adrenaline rush to take away from the thoughts of her hunger. She knew the more she thought about it, the harder it would be to ignore it.

"Carolyn?" The sound of her name caught her attention and drew away from her hunger thoughts.

"Dad!" Carolyn exclaimed, embracing her father. "I was wondering where you had gone off to."

He gazed at his daughter and then let his eyes travel to his beautiful baby granddaughter
smiling up at him in the stroller. Her jet black hair was growing in quickly. "I just went for a small walk. Having this little one around has been making me think of your mother. I miss her..." He trailed off.

Carolyn nodded sympathetically. "Me too, dad."

"You and Andy haven't had much time together lately, have you?" Her father was quick to change the subject. Dwelling on the thought of his deceased wife caused him pain, even after all these years of her being gone, and he wanted to live in the now.

"Well, I mean... Not really, I guess..." Carolyn admitted, yet she was afraid she knew what her father was going to say.

"Let me take Aria off your hands for a little while. You two deserve some time alone." He offered and Carolyn's fear had come to life.

"Dad, you really don't have to--" But before she could even object, he was taking control of the stroller and had begun walking away from his daughter.

"Oh." He stopped himself and turned around, slipping Carolyn a couple twenties. "You kids go have some fun, on me. Alright?"

Carolyn sighed. "Alright, fine." She shook her head and turned around counting out the money before slipping it into her jeans pocket. Her father had always been so good to her. He always had given her everything, without expecting anything in return.


***
Andy was in the kitchen staring into the refrigerator when Carolyn walked in. He broke his eternal gaze from the nearly empty fridge and looked up, smiling weakly at his seemingly tired girlfriend. "You're back!" He tried to show his excitement, though she wasn't being very responsive. Then he noticed she had returned empty handed. "Where... is our child?"

"What?" Carolyn asked, returning to reality. "Oh, she's with my father. He gave me this." She pulled out the money he had given to her. "Told me we needed to have a good time."

"Well," Andy walked over to her, wrapping his arms around her waist. "He was certainly right." He kissed her temple but she still remained unresponsive.

She liked having Andy touch her and kiss her but she was still afraid he would notice the differences in her body. She was still afraid he wasn't going to like her anymore. "Do you love me?" She asked without thinking.

Andy turned her around so she was facing him. "Of course I do." He smiled, leaning towards her lips.

She followed suit and let him kiss her for what felt like the first time in forever. She forgot how much she had loved the way he kissed her. As his lips began to move faster, his hands traveled down her back. He grabbed her ass and pushed her body closer against his own. The fear in her mind began to drown as he breathed against her neck.

His hands moved up to her waist as he started to walk her backwards towards the couch. As soon as the back of her knees hit the cushions she sat down and watched Andy crawl on top of her, never taking his eyes off hers. He was so sensual in the way he moved when he was turned on. He was making her forget. He was making her feel beautiful once again.

He began to back off of her but his lips drew her back up and towards him. They sat, lips locked and her hand curved around the back of his neck, pulling his face even closer to her own. She felt as though they could be closer, even though there was no possible way they could ever get closer than their heated bodies already were.

As his tongue slid deeper into her mouth, his hands began to roam again. He let his hand find her breast and he squeezed gently as he bit down on her lip, making her moan slightly. He smiled into the kiss as he knew he was pleasuring her. All he wanted to do was make her feel good. He wanted to make her feel special. He stopped squeezing and quickly his hand found the bottom of her shirt. His fingers fumbled a bit with the bottom but then found their way under her t-shirt. He felt her skin and her stomach muscles tighten at his touch.

"Stop." She pulled away from him, clutching the part of her stomach that he had grazed against.

He pulled his hand back and looked at her pained face. "Are you alright?"

"I think we should stop." She said, sitting back against the couch cushions.

Andy looked at her with confusion, but she refused to look at him. "Did I hurt you? Are you okay?" He was concerned with her sudden halt. He really thought she had been enjoying herself.

"I'm sorry..." She shook her head, still looking down at her lap. "I just can't do this right now. I don't want you to feel how ugly I am."

Notes

I think I gave myself a solid ending to go from when I decide to update this again. I just have to really think about what I want to do with this. I'm already done with chapter 21 and I'm thinking I may wrap this up soon but I'm not sure. I mean, I don't want to drag on her problems forever but I don't want it to wrap up too soon, so I really just need to think about this.

Shout outs:

-Kvengeance
-This Is Our Sweet Blasphemy