Lost It All

Carolyn awoke to the smell of bacon sizzling in the pan on the stove top, and as she followed the smell out to the kitchen, she heard Andy quietly singing her song, Carolyn, to himself as he flipped the pancakes over in the pan. A floor board creaked beneath her foot and Andy looked up.

"Oh," He said, noticing her standing there shyly behind the counter. "You're awake! Well... I was hoping to bring this to you in bed, but I guess this works, too." He admitted.

She sat down on a stool as Andy placed a plate of all her favorite breakfast foods in front of her and a glass of orange juice on the side. She couldn't help but look at it and grimace. "What's all this for?" She asked, curious.

Andy turned the stove off and looked at her again. "Well... I noticed you had been having a rough couple days recently, and I just thought you deserved a nice breakfast. I know it's your favorite meal of the day and I wanted to do something special for you."

Carolyn smiled weakly. "Andy..." She trailed. "Thank you, but... I'm not hungry..." She said hesitantly and watched Andy's smile fade.

He was silent for a moment, and then smiled again, laughing. "You're kidding, right? You're always starving when you wake up in the morning." But her eyes said otherwise. He took the hint, and the plate back with it. "Then... What am I supposed to do with all this food? I mean, I guess I could invite the guys over but... I thought we could have a special breakfast together, just you and me while Aria is still asleep. We haven't had a lot of alone time together lately. And... I miss that."

She couldn't bear to see him so hurt. "Andy, I know, I'm sorry." She pleaded. "I'm just... not feeling like myself lately."

"Whatever..." Andy rolled his eyes and turned away from her. His anger with her was growing increasingly. He tried to understand where she was coming from, but he had gotten up early in the morning to start making breakfast for her so that she would have a nice meal when she woke up. He knew she was always hungry when she woke up in the morning and it wasn't like her to turn down breakfast like that. He had spent hours preparing this, just to have her say no. And as much as he hated to admit it to himself, he was hurt.

The sound of Aria crying made Carolyn's head turn in the direction of her room. She rose from the stool. "I'm going to take Aria for a walk." She said, and turned in the direction of her room to tend to her daughter.

Carolyn couldn't believe she had lied to Andy like that. She could see how hurt he was, and she should have just eaten what he had offered her. But the voices of the directors rang through her head accompanied by a darker voice that demanded she refuse, even though her stomach was as flat and empty as could be. She wasn't sure what to do now. She needed to get her body back to the way it was, and the only way she could think was to listen to that voice in her head. That voice knew what was best. The directors knew what they were talking about. Eating all those carbs and fat would have just added to the fat that was already disgracing her body. She couldn't afford anymore.

No.

Notes

I AM SO FUCKING SORRY I KNOW IT'S BEEN 4 MONTHS. I only came up with this idea because my mom made breakfast for dinner tonight. and I have the idea for the next chapter so I promise I won't keep you guys waiting for like 60 years again. I'm sorry ugh I'm a bad person tbh

Shout outs:

-We are young and we are strong
-This Is Our Sweet Blasphemy
-Marliesaur