Suffer In Silence

*Dakotas POV*

I’m not sure how long it’s been, a few weeks at least. I’m not taking the break-up well, to put it mildly. I’ve been instigating fights at home and school, neither ever end well but I don’t care. Whatever it takes to feel something, pain, hunger, fear, they’re all I have now. I barely eat now, so I’ve lost a fair bit of weight, I’m down to 30 kilos now, which makes mother happy at least. The mere thought of eating when I feel so bad makes me sick, if I try to eat anyway I end up throwing it back up most times. It’s like a darkness has come over me, like a living fog of badness.

As a distraction, I’ve been throwing myself into school work, work at the music shop, and Max’s drumming lessons. He and I have grown so close over these last few weeks, he’s all I have now, other than my animals. Jinxx still tries to call and text me, it’s getting harder and harder to ignore him, I miss him so much, he’s like the big brother I always wanted.

*Jakes POV*

“Andy?, are you okay man?” I ask, watching him with concern. He stops writing in his song book for a few seconds, not looking up, then continues to scribble in it. I sigh, “Andy… Man I know this is hard, we could all see how much you cared for her, fuck, we cared for her too, but this, what you’re doing, isn’t helping. You’re obsessing, you’ve lost weight, Andy… We’re really worried about you…”

Andys head snaps up and he glares at me. “Well don’t!, I’m fine!, you want to know what I’ve been doing?!, here!” he thrusts his song book into my hands. “I’ve been trying to write the perfect song to release these horrible feelings…” He looks back down, his anger seeming to seep out, leaving him calmer. “I think I did it with this one” he looks at me expectantly. At first I do nothing, then I realise he wants me to read it. “The Morticians Daughter?” I ask, confused, he doesn’t answer, just stares at me, waiting.

I look back at the book and begin to read… When I look up from the book, I have to wipe tears from my eyes before they fall, I hand him back the book. “Andy… That was amazing, so beautiful, sorrowful and… I don’t know but there’s another element that just makes you feel hopeful. This is the best song you’ve ever written” I smile and sit next to him, giving him a warm side-hug. Finally, Andy smiles a small smile, the first time he’s done so since the break-up. “You really think so?.” I just smile wider and reply simply with “I know so.” We look at each other, and after a few seconds, we both burst out laughing at the sheer corny-ness of what I said.

*Sandras POV*

“I think we should break her fucking door down and find out what the hell is going on.”
“Sandra be rational, breaking her door down will just get us kicked out and piss her off” Jinxx reasons, but I don’t care, I’m seeing red. He glances at the door again, seemingly paranoid that she can hear us. “I don’t care what her reasons are, hurting Andy like that, shutting him out the way she did, shutting us all out, there’s just no excuse!” I whisper-yell.

“Sandra keep your fucking voice down, she’ll hear you!” he hisses back. Suddenly the door swings open and Koda appears before us. She’s glaring at us with such intensity that it causes us both to go pale at the sight. “Back the fuck off” she says in a flat, cold voice, “I hate you, all of you, so he’s hurting?, good, it’ll turn into hatred, and hatred will eventually lead to him moving on and forgetting me.” Jinxx opens his mouth to speak only for Koda to lift her hand in a ‘shush’ gesture.

“If I could change schools I would, you guys are the wrong crowd, Andy being the worst offender, yes, worse than Ashley. Now leave my house, now,” she attempts to shut her bedroom door in our faces, but Jinxx shoves his foot in the way. I can only stand rooted to the spot, wounded by her cruel words. “Not so fast, you’re so thin and… What the fuck happened to your face?” he asks, horror etched on his face.

“None of your fucking business now get out!,” she kicks Jinxxs foot out of the door way and slams the door. We stand there stupidly, as shocked by her battered appearance as much as her cold fury. Before either of us can gather our wits and protest some more, Kodas mother appears and ushers us out. Her overly-cheerful demeanour disturbs me, surely she heard what went down?, why is she acting like she has something to hide?…

Notes

Finally the chapter is up, I'm really sorry about how long it took, I was having trouble with how the chapter would go following the last chapter. I finally had most of it figured out and only last night came up with how to end the chapter. It's more of a filler but an important one, every chapter, every filler, they all play important parts, even if it doesn't seem like it at the time.

Also playing a part of the lateness is my personal issues, I ran out of my rcbd pill so my moods have gone wild again, I've been stuck in a down that cripples me, when I get like that I can't make myself even eat let alone write, I'm really sorry about that. I hope the chapter, short as it is, is still good enough for you guys to enjoy it.

Let me know what you think, I'm happy with how it turned out I think, it's the best I could do anyway.


Ch. Title Credit: Kelly Clarkson - Behind These Hazel Eyes