Never Give In, Never Back Down

Mikala:
Don't worry I don't have a crush on Andy. He's not my type. *blushes* But, I do like CC...

"OH...MY...GOD...ANDYYYYYY!!!!" I squeeled grabbing his hand and squeezing it tightly.

Chuckling Andy sat behind me wrapping his arms around my waist, pulling me back into him, resting his chin on my shoulder. "What is it babe?"

"You will NEVER guess who Mikala likes!"

"Ummm..." He mused for a moment before peering down at the screen on my phone "...CC!" I hit him playfully, light laughter falling from my lips.

"You only know that because you peeked, Biersack! That's not a guess!!"

"Oh well. So what are we going to do about it? I have a feeling you want to set them up now." His deep, roaring laughter filled the air as I held my hand to my chest, a shocked expression plastered across my face as I mouthed the question 'moi?' "Yes, you babe!"

Mikala:
...Is that bad?

Me:
Haha no not at all! ...want me to talk to him for you? ;)

Mikala:
Oh God. No. Please don't!

Me:
Ok I won't but, you should come to practice with us today.

I felt Andy's hot breath against my neck, brushing against my ear his growling voice whispering low in my ear "what are you planning babe?" Shivers ran down my spine as his lips ghosted across my neck, his strong hands pulling my hair to the other side of my neck, baring my throat beneath him. His lips pressed down against the crook of my neck, a euphoric sigh escaping my lips as I felt his mouth begin to move, sending goosebumps across my body. Nearly moaning I sighed into the air as I felt his lips tear themselves from my skin as he jumped to his feet striding towards the bedroom door.

"Where are you going Biersack?! That's not fair!"

"The doorbell rang, didn't you hear it baby?" I shook my head, the doorbell ringing loudly through the house. Getting up I waltzed over to him, locking my lips with his briefly. He wrapped his arms around my waist and together we walked to the door pulling it open to find a drunken Ashley lying on the doorstep, his arm outstretched, finger on the doorbell.

"Oh...fuck..." I mumbled pulling Ashley up onto his feet and through the door. Andy shut the door behind us as I sat him down on the couch and went into the kitchen to get a glass of water and some ibuprofen for the headache. When I returned Andy was still standing at the door, one hand weaved through his own hair, the other on his hip.

Sighing Andy came over to me kissing my forehead and said "This is your department babe, I'll be in the kitchen if you need me."

"Here Ashley, take these, it'll help when you're coming down from this." I handed him a glass of water and dumped the pills into his hand. I watched him take the pills before sitting beside him, rubbing his back in circles. "What's this all about Ashley? I thought you'd quit drinking heavily."
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Setting down the glass Ash gave me I settled my head in my hands. My head was spinning, my vision swimming, and I felt nauseous. "I don't know Ash..." I trailed off, shutting my eyes, attempting to subdue the pain of trying to focus. "...I just feel so lost. I don't know what to do. Music is everything to me but, I feel like something's missing and I don't know what it is or how to figure it out. I started drinking and thinking and the more I thought the more I drank and before I knew it I was getting kicked out of the bar."

I heard her sigh and I could almost feel her disappointed gaze. "Ashley you don't need to solve your problems with alcohol. Andy, the rest of the band, and even I am here to help you. If you start thinking about these things you need to come find one of us and talk about it. We will do our best to understand and help you but, you have to let us." I felt her hand over mine, despite myself I turned my hand over in hers and squeezed her hand lightly. I know she was only trying to comfort me and, her presence is comforting but, I couldn't talk to any of them about my troubles. Ashley would
feel like it was her fault and the band, especially Andy, would take it as me still chasing after Ash.

"Alright. I'm sorry my head still hurts pretty bad, I must have had more to drink than ibuprofen can handle. Would you and Andy mind if I slept here for a few hours? At least until my head stops hurting?" I looked up at her to see her nod in response before getting up and heading to the kitchen, probably to tell Andy I was staying for awhile.
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I walked into the kitchen leaning back against the counter crossing my arms. Andy walked over to me wrapping his arms around my waist his lean fingers making my skin crawl but, I had too much on my mind. I knew Ashley was lying, he wouldn't talk to us even if he needed to, he's worried about something.

"Babe what's wrong? He's just drunk again." My eyes snapped up to his.

"No Andy. He's not 'just drunk again.' He's clearly upset about something, he's using alcohol as a crutch like I did with cutting and puking. You wanted to help me through that and Ashley has been your friend for many more years, why don't you want to help him?!" Andy backed away from me, folding his arms across his chest and leaning back against the opposite counter.

"He tried to take you from me Ashley! What am I supossed to do? Let him waltz back into our lives and pretend like nothing happened?! Of course, I care about what's wrong with him but, why is he here?!" Moments later we heard the front door slam.
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"No Andy. He's not 'just drunk again.'" I could hear the sarcasm drip from her words, this was about to turn into a fight. "...he's using alcohol as a crutch just like I did...WHY WON'T YOU HELP HIM?!" She sounded frantic, I felt horrible, I was coming between my best friend and the only woman who had ever made me feel like I wasn't worthless, Again.

"HE TRIED TO TAKE YOU FROM ME ASHLEY! WHAT AM I SUPOSSED TO DO? LET HIM WALTZ BACK INTO OUR LIVES AND PRETEND LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED?! ...WHY IS HE HERE?!" He doesn't understand. This is exactly why I can't come to either of them. Ashley made me realize that there is someone out there for me and now I want to settle down and stop whoring around. I know it can't be with Ashley. I realized that was I misconstrued as love for her was only a deep emotional attachment because she essentially saved me from myself. The guys wouldn't understand because, all they would here is that Ashley made me realize there was someone out there for me and they would take it as me still believing she was the one. Andy doesn't even care about me anymore...My
well-being means nothing to him and I understand, what I did was unforgivable. I didn't deserve a friend like Andy and I don't deserve someone as amazing and intelligent as Ash caring for me either. I can't put them through this again, I can't come between their relationship even if it isn't truly about them.

With that I got up and left slamming the door behind me in hopes it would at least shut them up for a few minutes, long enough to think. Walking to my car I got in and drove home, I had a lot to think about.

Notes

Sorry it's been so long since I updated. I'm still writing chapters and I have a good friend trying to keep me in line and writing more consistently. I just finished my first year of college and have been busy with finals and papers and moving back home and financial struggles and so much more. I really hope you all like this chapter and there WILL be more soon!