The Unbreakable Broken

I don't know what I'm doing. Just staring at the paper I wrote. I don't think I still feel the way I did when I wrote it. Or the way I felt when Andy and I first got together. When we met I was crazy in love. Well my fangirl was. Its been three years since then. And he said he loved me. But he can't remember anyone he sleeps with name. Juliet fucked that boy over so much. This song was ment to answer him but it doesn't. It just says I'm mad. Which of course I am. But I want him to feel the hurt, the sadness, the happy, the anxiety, I want him to feel me. Not sexually. I put down the paper and went to the back lounge. I needed to clear my mind. I took out my phone and started playing my pop music. Adele sang chasing pavements threw my speaker. I started to move around. Just straightening things up at first but then I started to move my hips which of course told the rest of my body to start moving. Soon I was a ballet dancer doing her dance to arms by Christina perrie. Then the best dancer, the heat of the party to kesha as she sang die young. Or a back up dancer for heart attack by one direction. I was everything but me. Which was great. Then my pop music ran out and my black veil brides started to play. Almost to the phone to turn it off and the lyrics started playing. Morticians daughter. He loved scout enough to write a song for her. I cried a little but then on came lost it all came on. Juliet was loved enough to get a part in a song. And me? I get this bleeding broken heart. And a razor set inside my phone case. I pulled it out and started to draw on my thighs. A swirly tree here a heart there, his name everywhere, hate and love. Nowhere. I was in the middle of drawing a star when the paint brush was ripped out of my hand. I looked into brets eyes. Then looked down. All the pretty colors faded out in to red. All the beautiful lines changed into rushed rash ones. Tears trailed there way down my face against there will. such beautiful pictures ruined by reality.a wet rag hit my hot fresh cuts bret is so sweet. I wish he loved someone else. He doesn't deserve broken goods. No one does. I should stop trying. I watched as he cleaned out every ugly cut and scratch. The rag was covered in blood. I should do laundry. He wrapped them all up. Time to buy more band aids and wraps. Then he kissed them. Andy never did that. He kissed my cheek. Andy is probably drinking. He kissed me full on. No bret love someone else. I kissed him back. No body else cares. He sped up. Pull away. I sped up too. Stop it. Andy walks in. Told you to stop. Bret walks out. Stay awake. I pass out. What have I done

Notes

Moat moving chapter I wrote I think. Anyway, write what you think down below. Love my followers.