Imagine Me and You

“Near, far-wherever you are! I am here…” Andy was singing so loudly and yet Tori could hear her own laughter over his voice. They were at his house-it was the last night before he was to leave for tour and they had wanted to hang out.

“Stop! Stop Andy I’m going to pee!” Tori was laughing so hard that there were tears rolling down her cheeks. They were sitting on the floor of his room, a half eaten pizza in front of them and Andy had hilariously put on Titanic, mostly because it was one of Tori’s favorite movies.

“Why don’t you eat that piece of pizza you’ve been picking at for the past hour…” He was looking at her, one blue eye covered by his long black bangs, but it seemed almost as if he was staring deep down in to her soul.

Tori would never admit it to Andy-she could hardly admit it to herself-but she had a little bit of an eating problem. She just didn’t see in the mirror what other people seemed to see-a fit girl with well placed curves. No, every time she looked in that evil mirror she saw her double chin, her saggy arms and the puffiness underneath her eyes. She hated the way she looked and Tori sometimes wondered what Andy saw in her. He was gorgeous and Tori had had a crush on him for forever, until finally the two of them just drifted towards one another. They weren’t really official, but he wasn’t dating anyone and she wasn’t stupid to see anyone but him.

The only problem was that Tori had some secrets about herself that she tended to keep hidden. Her eating habits-the fact that she pretty much didn’t eat at all. It’s not that she didn’t like food-she loved it, but she hated her and that was where the problem laid. Being a chubby teen, Tori had finally figured out how to lose those few extra pounds-stop shoving it in to your mouth. So that’s what she did, but that still didn’t stop the angry voices in her head, calling her worthless and a nothing. What did stop those voices came to her one night when she had been looking around in her mother’s medicine cabinet for some aspirin.

To say that that cabinet was clogged would be an understatement-it was a complete and utter mess. She had shuffled some things around, but then a loud clattering sounded out and Tori winced as everything fell out and landed in the porcelain sink below. There is sat-the shiny razor that seemed to be calling her name. Tori had heard of other girls cutting themselves to get some peace and so she figured why not? The door locked behind her and Tori could feel her hands shaking as she reached into the sink and grabbed for the tony blade. Her knees pressed together as she sat down on the toilet and she then reached down to grab for her leg and cross it over her bent one.

One slash. Two slash. Three, four, five…

With each tiny cut, Tori felt something unimaginable happen. She felt peace wash over her-her body was pulsing with adrenaline and she could feel her blood flowing through every vein. That’s how it had all started and there was no telling when or how it was going to end. This was all before she had met Andy-his band Black Veil Brides had played at a local club and she had been standing off to the side, her older brother playing the band right after. Andy and Tori had spent the rest of the night talking about a lot of things. His first record, her hating life and their shared love of music. It had become simple after that-weekends at his apartment that he shared with Jake and then they would roam around LA together during the week. Now Andy was leaving to tour for their first album and already Tori could feel the old impulse to cut come cropping back up.

“I-um…I’m not very hungry…” She bit down on her lower lip and Andy only cocked an eyebrow at her as he looked down at the piece of pizza and then back up.

“Why do you do this to yourself Tori?” He asked and she could only look at him. His blue eyes looked so sad as he took her in and she knew then that he had figured it out. They had been around one another long enough for him to notice how much she wasn’t eating.

“I-I…I’m just fat okay! I’m fat and I need to lose weight, but I promise once I lose weight that I’ll stop…” She was crying now, big fat tears just rolling down her cheeks and Andy said nothing. Instead he reached out, placing his hands on either side of her waist and he cringed-his fingertips were touching…that’s how skinny she was.

“You are beautiful and I love you…for you.” He said as he brought his lips closer and Tori only smiled once their lips met. His fingers rubbed against her skin and she cringed-he could probably feel the scars beneath her thin t-shirt.

“But-“She stopped as his lips had landed against hers once again. Andy moved to deepen things and soon enough they were laying down on the floor and he was hovering on top of her. Was this it?

“But nothing. Now, I am leaving tomorrow for three months and I was hoping that I could leave with some happy memories…” He smirked at her, that lopsided smirk and his lip ring was shining in the dim lighting of the room.

“O-okay…” She said softly and Tori only smirked as his lips trailed across her hot skin, his hands moving over her body like a desperate man.

“I love you so much Tori…do you love me?” He asked but his voice was slightly muffled against her skin. She smiled as she wove her fingers through his hair and then brought his face up so that she could kiss him.

Their kiss was filled with passion-more passion than either one of them had ever felt for the other and they both knew it was because he was leaving soon. There was no telling what would happen while he was on the road, but none of that mattered right now. No, all that matter right now was the fact that their bodies were moving in synch with one another and they could feel their passions for eachother building and building. Finally Tori could feel herself reaching her breaking point and as she bit down on Andy’s shoulder and then threw her head back, she smiled and caught his eyes.

“I do love you…more than I can ever scream…”

Notes