We're Setting Worlds On Fire

The show had been the best one they’d had so far on this tour and Andy knew it,but for some reason he didn’t feel like celebrating with everyone else. He had immediately come outside, greeting fans with hugs and autographs, but he felt slightly empty inside. As he stood there, hugging girls and posing with them for pictures, Andy couldn’t help but think about what had happened earlier with Lily.

He had kissed her-he hadn’t even thought about it, he just did it. He was shocked by her reaction, which was that she didn’t really have one. She only smiled at him, her wide lavender eyes looking at him and then they both silently got up, got their things and walked back to the bus.

They had kept their distance for the rest of the day-Lily watched from the side of the stage as they did their soundcheck. She was there for their performance, jumping around and singing along with everyone else. But when he had come outside, Lily stayed inside back in the dressing room and when Andy ran back in to get another Sharpie he felt his anger rise.

Ashley and Lily were sitting on the couch; their faces mere inches apart and Andy only turned right back around and came back outside. Now he was here, smiling and joking with fans. This is where he belonged-where he felt the most comfort as these kids made him feel like he meant something to them.


“Thank you guys so much for coming out!” Andy called after the last group as they walked down the alleyway, waving at him from over their shoulders. Andy sighed as he leaned up against the side of the building, digging around in his jacket pocket for his smokes.


Black strands fell into his face and as Andy flicked his head up to get them away from his eyes, he heard the distant sound of bells. Where were they coming from? Andy looked around-left and then right, but they kept chiming. They were so beautiful-so shrill and full of life-that Andy couldn’t help but feel drawn to them. He found himself walking down the alleyway, the chiming growing louder as he reached the end and then sucked in a breath. He knew now where they were coming from-a church. Its tall spires in the distance, silent beacons against the chill night air.

Andy kept walking, finding himself still drawn to the soft fading sounds of bells. His boots clapped against the sidewalk, his over abundance of belts hitting his hips as he glided down the street, but he couldn’t stop. He knew, from the way the church was set up and from the bells that it was a Catholic Church, something Andy knew little about except from what Lily had told him. He knew that Catholics could be strict, especially with their daughters and Lily was prime example of that. As he neared the building, Andy inhaled a deep breath and kept walking forward.

What would happen to him if he stepped over the threshold of the church? Would he burst in to flames? Would he cry out in agony? Well, he was about to find out and Andy couldn’t help but hold his breath as he passed first one foot over the threshold and then another. Nothing, nothing happened except he felt somewhat calmer. Andy looked around, his blue eyes scanning over the room and he never knew a church could be so peaceful.

There were wooden benches lining either side of a great aisle and at the end of the aisle was Christ on his cross for all to see. Against one wall were what seemed to be hundreds of lit candles, sitting in their red votives, the flames flickering softly in an invisible breeze. Andy sighed as he took a seat, wondering why he now felt at total peace and he silently closed his eyes.

He had never been in a place like this before-had never thought about going to a church to find peace and solace. But now he was here and he felt like he could think about anything in the world and it would all be resolved. Yet the only thing he could think of was one person in particular.

Lily

He was so confused by her-saying she couldn’t love and yet when he kissed her…she kissed him back. They had broken apart very quickly, but for a very short second, Lily had leaned against him and placed a hand to his cheek. Andy could remember, even now, the way she looked as they broke from that kiss. Her eyes were closed, her long lashes laying against her pale skin and the fading sun gave her an unearthly glow. Andy sighed as he placed his elbows on the back of the bench in front of him, his hands clasped together as he looked at the ceiling. He was about to do something he never thought he would do…something he didn’t even know how to do…

He began to pray.


“God? Hi-uh-you don’t know me and I don’t know you. Shit-oops-I-uh…” Andy stopped, closing his eyes and taking in a few deep breaths before trying again.

“Look, you and I don’t have the best relationship. I mean my father has tried to kill you and take over your turf one too many times, but I’d like to think that you and I can connect on some level. After all…you’re kind of my grandfather…” Andy smirked at the thought, thinking back to everything he had read about God and his Angels.

“The thing is-I’m lost. I know I’ve been lost my entire existence, but for a while there I had been found. Someone, a wonderful someone, came into my life and showed me things…taught me things.” Andy felt the tears welling in his eyes and he sniffed softly before continuing.

“That person was Lily Carolyn Evans and you took her from me. I know now that she was never meant to be with me-we were never supposed to be together, but we were and it was the most wonderful time in my life.” Andy stopped, looking over his shoulder as the wind howled outside.

“I know what we did was wrong, but I also have been told that you are a very forgiving-uh-man and I hope that you’ll hear me out.” Andy let his eyes trail down from the ceiling and now he was focusing on the candles in the corner. They were flickering, almost blowing out, but then they would become steady once again.

“I love Lily-I think I always have loved her, I just didn’t know it at first. Love is funny like that-you can be around someone everyday of your life and never realize how you feel about them. The way they walk…the way they talk…everything about them makes your day better. She used to just walk in the room and my heart would speed up…” Andy stopped again, closing his eyes as he remembered just how much he loved Lily.


They’d had a very good life together. They never had much, but what they did have they cherished. Days spent out in LA, walking around to all of the shops hand in hand. Night spent holed up in their room, Lily walking Andy through the simple things in life like video games, computers and pizza. Those first nights together on Earth-cuddling with Lily and watching as she slept; those nights had meant everything to him.

Then the attacks started happening and Lily had wanted to learn to fight. Andy had relented for a bit, but even he knew that she needed to know how to hold a sword or dagger. They’d had so much fun during those training sessions-Andy had forgotten how much he had liked to fight. The memories faded, but the tears in Andy’s eyes were very real as he looked back up towards the ceiling.


“I lost her and when I lost Lily-I lost myself. I completely ignored what I was supposed to be doing with the band and with my life. I-I need her back…I need Lily to love me again.” He was sobbing now, his head resting in his arms as they laid on the back of the bench in front of him.

“I’m begging you…please change Lily back to the way she used to be…” He kept sobbing and Andy hoped no one would hear him.

“I can’t live without her…I refuse to.” He hiccuped as Andy looked up and noticed that the candle flames were flickering again.

“I-I know we weren’t supposed to make love, but I couldn’t help it…she’s everything to me and I needed to show her how much I truly loved her…” Andy got lost in another memory just then, his eyes glazing over as he thought back to that time he had spent with Lily.


Neither one of them had known what to do and yet it just felt like they were doing what was right for them. Starting off slow, Andy had felt on fire as he and Lily became intimate-this was something he had never experienced and he never thought he ever would. They had tragically only made love the one time-something that Andy always felt cheated on after Lily had died. But for one moment in time-he had felt like everything was right in his life and that was something that Andy missed. Sniffling his tears away, Andy placed his palms together one more time and looked back up towards the ceiling.


“I-I still do love her and I know she still loves me…she just can’t. But I know you can change that God, I know you’re listening to me…you’re always listening right?” Andy laughed then, thinking back to when Lily had told him all about religion. God is always watching…he’s always there.

“I know it’s strange-a Demon asking God for help, but this is not something I can do on my own. I can’t understand why she doesn’t love me anymore. Maybe she should go back to Heaven…she seems to be happier there anyways…” Andy grew sad as he thought about how homesick Lily seemed.

“I know I shouldn’t be asking this and I know you probably don’t care, but can you please just make Lily human again? Even for one day…just so she can feel my love for her one more time and then we can say goodbye. Can you please do this for me? Please?” Andy was crying again, his salty tears hot against his cheeks as they fell down and dragged his makeup down with them.

“Thanks for listening God…I know I don’t deserve anything from you because of what my Father did, but please just make Lily happy…even if that means you take her away from me again…” Andy had stood up, turning his back on the altar, but he was now looking over his shoulder at the entire church.


Andy walked away from the front of the church and as he passed through the large wooden doors, he felt lighter. He had never thought going in to a building, talking to the air and crying a little bit could be so freeing, but that was how he felt. He also felt an immense pressure lift from his shoulders and he knew it was because he had gotten everything off of his chest. He still loved Lily-he always would and that fact was going to haunt him until his dying day. As Andy walked down the sidewalk, he looked up at the sky and smiled. So many nights he had looked up, spotting the North Star and the tiny one right beside it. Lily.

She had been watching over him-over all of them and Andy had always gotten a small bit of comfort from that fact. Now she was here, on Earth, watching them all and it was hard. He wasn’t going to lie to himself anymore-being around Lily was the hardest thing he would ever have to go through. Seeing her every day, knowing that at one time she loved him just as much as he loved her and yet none of it mattered. She used to look to him to save her, to be her savior in every way possible, but now things had changed. She had changed and it made Andy sad just thinking about it.

Finally, after walking and smoking two cigarettes, Andy made it back to the bus and saw that everyone was already on and ready to go. Three in the morning, out wandering by himself and no one thought to come look for him? Andy only shook his head as he walked up the bus steps and only saw Ashley sitting on the couch, game controller in one hand and a beer in the other.

Andy couldn’t hate Ash-they were brothers and they needed one another. But the bassist was getting really chummy with Lily and Andy, no matter how hard he tried, was not okay with that fact. Speaking of Lily, it was strange that she wasn’t around…usually she was the last in her bunk at night.


“Where’ve you been?” Ashley asked as Andy walked past him on his way to the fridge. Andy grabbed a small water bottle out of the semi-cold mini fridge and then turned to face his best friend.

“Went for a walk. Where is everyone?” Andy asked, taking a sip and then lightly screwing the cap back on. Ashley only smirked as he nodded his head back towards the bunk hall, where soft snoring could be heard.

“Sleeping, we’re all pretty wrecked…” The bassist said and Andy only smirked as he noticed Jake’s acoustic guitar sitting in one corner of the front lounge. Andy grabbed for it, his water bottle in one hand, the guitar in the other and he knew he would have to stop by his bunk on his way to the back lounge.

“Lily?” Andy asked, a one word question was all that was needed in regards to the Angel in question.

“Her bunk. Said she was really drained and needed to recharge. She got on the bus before anyone and I haven’t seen or heard from her. Which sucks because she owes me another rematch…” Both guys laughed as Ashley nodded towards the gaming system and Andy just turned to head to the back.

“Night Ash…” Andy said over his shoulder, his blue eyes determined and focusing on the door in front of him.

“Where are you going?” Ashley asked him, but Andy didn’t answer the bassist as he pulled open the door to the back lounge and closed it tightly behind him.


He needed peace and quiet to get this done…he had lots of work to do.

Notes

I'm back! Sorry-work was super busy because of the game today, but now I have three days off and I'm looking forward to updating this again...as long as people...

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