What It Is To Burn

“Andy what are you doing?!” Dess laughed, her hands up to her face as she stood at the very end of one of the toy aisles in their local Target. Andy was near the boys section where they had a small display of masks.

“Just goofing around. Why?” He asked as he turned to her and Dess couldn’t help but giggle.

“Okay Batman-enough goofing around and taking selfies…we need to get you more shirts to cut up and hit the road so we can get home and get everything packed up.” She laughed as she approached him and Andy only smirked at her as he turned away and held his camera up in front of him.


The two of them had run out to Target to get some last minute things before they left the next day for tour and of course Andy was only taking things half seriously. They had been home from their honeymoon in Fiji for two days and while they had hardly left their bedroom, Andy and Dess knew that they had to get things in gear for the upcoming tour. Black Veil Brides would be meeting in LA the very next day to start their tour opening for Bullet For My Valentine on the Monster Outbreak Tour.

Dess, of course, would be going with them and she was just happy that she had been feeling better. With the wedding behind her and the honeymoon over with, Dess knew that things could get back to normal. If only Andy would put away his phone, take the Ninja Turtle mask off that he was currently dawning and then they could finish their shopping trip.


“Babe come on!” Dess laughed as she walked up behind Andy and wrapped her arms around his neck. He smirked into the camera and Dess rested her chin on his shoulder as she smiled into his phone and Andy snapped a picture of the both of them.

“One more…here.” He smiled at her as Andy handed Dess a Pink Power Ranger mask and she smirked as she put it on and realized that he had put on a Red Ranger mask.

“You are so absurd…” She moved to stand next to him and the two of them leaned their heads in until they were slightly touching. Andy snapped the picture and Dess quickly removed her mask and set it back on the shelving.

“You love me.” Andy laughed as he took his mask off and soon he joined Dess as she pushed their almost full cart off towards the clothing department.

“I would hope so since I just married you little over a week ago.” Dess laughed as they approached the men’s clothing department and Andy made a beeline for the t-shirt section.

“Yeah well people change their minds…” He laughed as Andy picked out a few shirts and set them on top of the other things that were already in the cart. Dess hadn’t needed much for the upcoming tour, but of course Andy being the last minute person that he always was needed a lot of things.

“I will never change my mind about you Andy.” She laughed as Dess walked up from behind him and looked down at what Andy was putting in to their cart. T-shirts for him to cut to bits, of course…she should have known.


The two of them walked around Target for a few more laps and finally Andy was satisfied that he had gotten anything and everything he would need for their month long tour. Dess laughed as Andy pointed out things that they should buy to decorate their house and he laughed as Dess geeked out over new Disney merch that was sitting on a small end cap. They laughed their way through Target, but Dess had something weighing on her mind and as they placed their things on the belt to be rung up, she couldn’t help but dwell on the thoughts that were clouding over her mind.

She hadn’t gotten her test results back and the fact that she didn’t know, still, what was wrong with her, was making Dess very nervous. She had been feeling better ever since their wedding, so it could be all chalked up to nerves, but somehow deep down Dess knew it was something else. She felt different-things were different about her and she couldn’t put her finger on what it was.


“We ready to head out babe?” Andy asked and Dess only smiled as she snapped back to attention and noticed that all of their odds and ends had been purchased and bagged.

“I-uh-yeah. Yeah lets head home so you can finish packing.” She smirked at him as Andy only rolled his eyes and pushed the cart towards the exit. His black hair was growing slightly longer and he was wearing it to one side of his head these days and Dess could only smirk as she followed behind him in the parking lot.


Andy had been experimenting with his looks a lot lately and Dess had been wondering if it was something that he was doing intentionally or if he was just bored. She looked at him as they walked, the cold wind whipping at their faces and she smiled as she took him in. Black skinny jeans, his black leather jacket with a black t-shirt underneath-that seemed to be his uniform over the past few weeks and it made Dess laugh. He had bought ten new shirts while they were inside and she knew that by the time their plane landed tomorrow morning-Andy would have all ten of them cut up to his needs and he would be wearing one on stage tomorrow evening.

Thinking about the following night, Dess felt excited knowing that her shirts would be displayed with BVB’s things and so she would probably sell a bunch of stuff on this upcoming tour. She and Andy had come up with two designs specifically for the band and Dess was hopeful that the fans would respond well to everything she had to offer.


“So I’ve been thinking…” Andy said as he loaded up the last of their bags into the back of her SUV and Dess only rolled her eyes as she sat behind the steering wheel and waited for Andy to get in.

“Never a good sign…” She stuck her tongue out at him as Andy only shot her a look and got into the car, slamming the door behind him as he turned to her. Dess started the car and got them going on the long road home-thoughts of packing and getting the cats ready bouncing around in her brain while Andy just looked at her.

“We should have kids…” Andy said, his tone light but serious and Dess nearly choked on the gum that she had just put in to her mouth. Thankfully they were stopped at a light as she had a coughing fit and Andy patted her on the back softly.

“I-uh-what?” She laughed as finally Dess was able to speak and Andy only smirked at her as he took her hand in his and rubbed his thumb over her skin lightly.

“I think we should start thinking about starting a family. Why not? It could be fun right?” Andy’s smile was so wide and infectious that Dess couldn’t help but grin right back at him.

“Oh babe-kids can be fun but they’re a lot of work…” Dess said as she tried to focus on the road. It looked like it wanted to start snowing and she only hoped that the clouds would hold off until they were on their way to sunny and warm LA tomorrow morning.

“I’m not afraid of hard work Dess.” Andy said with a slight pout to his voice and Dess could only laugh as she reached over and ruffled his hair. Andy sighed as he pulled down the mirror and fluffed things back into place before turning to her once again.

“I mean it babe…I want a little you running around my feet.” He looked so sweet sitting there with his bottom lip sticking out and Dess could hardly say no to him when he looked that way. But this was not something that neither one of them was ready for.

“I know, but I’m going to be selfish and say no.” Dess laughed as she pulled into their driveway and sighed as big fat snowflakes began to fall, landing on her windshield and immediately melting. Of course it would start snowing right before they were due to leave for tour.

“How is that selfish?” Andy asked as he unbuckled his seat belt and turned to look at her. Dess looked at him, biting down on her lower lip as she looked into those blue eyes of his and she could only smile. He was perfect-he would always be perfect to her.

“Because we just got married. Our two year anniversary of being a couple is coming up and I just want you to myself. I just want to be Dess and Andy for a little while longer before we throw kids into the mix…” Dess looked very persuasive sitting there in her white knit cap, large blue sweater and knit leggings and Andy knew he couldn’t resist her. She had a point-he always wanted to rush things. He had rushed their relationship, their marriage and he knew he couldn’t rush Dess into having kids.

“You’re right. How about after the second leg of our Church Tour we talk about this again? That’s at the very end of December…just in time for our anniversary.” His smile was cheeky and Dess only shook her head as the both of them got out of the car and began to grab for bags.


Dess helped Andy get the bags into the house and she only laughed as he grabbed for the bag with all of his shirts and sat down at the kitchen table. He got her sewing scissors out of the junk drawer and in no time he was cutting away with the most adorable concentrated look on his face. Dess only shook her head as she moved around the kitchen, trying to get everything packed that still needed to be and in no time all of her things were in their appropriate bags. All that was left was for Andy to cut up his shirts and to pack them all away. Dove was weaving in and out of her feet and Dess only smiled softly as she picked up the fluffy white cat and cuddled her close.

She had missed Dove, Crow and Winnie over the summer and Dess had been happy to come back home to her cuddle buddies. Now she was leaving the cats behind once again, while Winnie would be coming with them for the US tour that was about to begin. Dess sighed as she ran a hand through her blonde hair and she smirked as she noticed how tan she looked. They had had a wonderful time in Fiji-mostly they laid on the beach or stayed in their bed, but it was wonderful all the same.


“I’m gonna go get the mail babe…I’ll be back.” Dess said and Andy only nodded his head, his concentration still on the shirt that was laid out on the table in front of him. Dess only laughed softly as she moved towards the side door and opened it slowly as to keep it from creaking.


The day was bright and thankfully the snow had stopped falling, but it was still bitter cold and Dess knew it was going to be a long and very cold winter. She looked out, her breath floating in front of her like a cloud as her green eyes scanned over the horizon. The mountains had snow on their caps and Dess knew it was only a matter of time before snow graced her own large yard. Her feet hit the gravel, kicking it up slightly as she walked down the tree lined driveway and she shivered as the wind blew around her.

Dess smirked as she looked down at the ring on her left finger and she then thought of the ring that sat on Andy’s left finger. They had taken pictures together while they were on vacation, but they were careful to avoid social media after they had been posted. The fans knew they were getting married on Halloween-both she and Andy had announced it in several interviews and so the fans would have to know by this point.

The hate was few and far between, but it was still there and that made Dess sad.

Why were they not allowed to be happy? Was it against some golden rule that said that Andy always had to be single along with the rest of the guys in the band? Dess only shook her head as she reached out and opened up their black and white mailbox. A small package-finally Andy’s custom inner ear pieces had shown up, junk, junk, more junk, bills which she paid online anyways. Dess gasped as she held out the very last envelope in her shaking hands and she could hardly force herself to look at the tiny writing on the front.

She turned to walk back up the driveway, too scared to open it, but more scared to throw it away. She took in a ragged breath as she stopped by their trashcan, throwing in all of the junk mail and she held the envelope in her hands. She had been feeling better, so nothing was wrong with her-right? This little envelope would tell her so much or it could possibly tell her nothing at all. Should she open it? Dess looked down at it once again, looked at the name of the address it came from and she shuddered.

Fauquier County Hospital Testing Center

Dess sighed heavily as she slit her finger underneath the white paper and hearing it rip gave her some small form of satisfaction. Her fingers were shaking so badly that she could hardly take the piece of paper out of its envelope. The folded note was in her hands now, the envelope tucked underneath Andy’s package as it sat on the top step to the small porch. Dess didn’t want to open it-she wanted to throw it away and forget that she ever saw it, but what if it held information that she needed to know?

They had tested her for so many things-which was why it had taken them two weeks to get back to her. Anemia, Hyperthyroidism, Cancer…the list went on and on and Dess knew she had to look to find out. If it was Cancer-if it was her death note that she was holding it in her hands-then she would accept it with an open heart and she and Andy would make the best of it. Slowly Dess unfolded the paper and her eyes grew wide as she read over her doctor’s words, her hand clapping over her mouth as the tears began to run down her cheeks.


“Oh-oh my God…” She muttered as Dess reread over the letter multiple times and each time she cried harder as she got down to her results.


She said nothing more as Dess picked up the rest of their mail, turning to look behind her to take in the scenery of their yard one last time. The next time they would be home the yard would be covered in piles of snow and Dess could only smile as she remembered her and Moira playing in the snow as children. Then Andy surprising her the day after Christmas as the snow fell around them like confetti. Last year she had laid on the ground, right near their porch steps and had made snow angels with Andy.

This yard held so many memories and Dess only cried harder as she thought of the paper that she held in her hands. How was she going to tell Andy? What would he say? What would he do? Dess cried, her tears making her face hot as she entered the small mud room and pulled off her boots, her hat and her jacket. As she turned the corner, Dess smirked through her tears as she saw that Andy was still sitting at the kitchen table, two shirts cut up and ready while the other eight were sitting, neatly folded, on a nearby chair.


“Babe? Babe what’s wrong?” Andy asked as he looked up and noticed that Odessa was just standing in front of him, a letter clutched in her hands and she had tears streaming down her face. She looked at him, her eyes terrified as she began to shake and Andy said nothing as he jumped up and went to her, taking her in to his arms as her head rested against his chest-she still clutched the letter in her hands tightly.

“I-I…it’s-I-um…” She could hardly speak and Andy pulled her away, holding her at arms length as he looked down into her bright eyes and saw the terror. He kissed her then, his lips growing salty with her tears but he didn’t care. Had something happened? Was someone hurt?

“Babe…sit down. It’s gonna be okay. Whatever it is-we’ll be okay.” He said as he moved Dess to sit in his chair as Andy took the empty one right next to it. She was shaking so badly that the letter finally fell from her hands and landed on the glossy wood of their kitchen table.


Andy said nothing as he picked up the paper, unfolded it and took in a deep breath as he read the first line. Her test results had come in. Andy read on and then he read it again, again and again until finally his vision began to blur. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t think, he couldn’t feel-he began to shake and as Andy looked over at Dess he noticed that she was rocking back and forth, her eyes wide as she looked at his face.

She looked absolutely scared out of her mind and all Andy could think to do was to bring her close, tucking her head against his chest as he wrapped both arms around her protectively. This letter-they had not expected it and Dess had been doing so well that Andy didn’t know what to think at this point. A million thoughts were running through his head and he wished he could just reach out, grab them and organize them all. What was going to happen? With their life? With his tour? What was going to happen to Odessa?


“It’s gonna be okay babe…it’s gonna be okay…” Andy whispered into her ear as Dess sat there in his arms, still shaking so much that her teeth were chattering. He kissed the top of her head and then her temple-Andy kissed her until his lips met hers and their tears melted together as they both cried.


He didn’t know what the future held for them, but as Andy held Odessa in his arms, their tears mingling together-he knew that he would always be there for her and she would always be there for him. It was meant to be that way-forever. They were meant for one another and they had found each other and in this moment of terror and uncertainty…that’s all that mattered.

They were burning-they were burning together brightly and that flame would never die…ever.

Notes

That's it folks. What It Is To Burn is officially over. BUT-the final installment to their tale will be posted tomorrow. It is called Together Burning Bright and the very first chapter will reveal something that everyone has been wondering about for ages-What the fuck is wrong with Odessa?

Please review this, vote for it, rate it or even reread it! I love you guys and I hope you all subscribe to the last story in their tale of life, love and sorrow <3

Together Burning Bright

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