What It Is To Burn

Dess smiled softly as she rolled over, her arms stretching out in front of her as the sun shined down from the open curtains. She rolled towards the empty space and quickly her smile faded-Andy wasn’t in the bed with her. He hadn’t been in the same bed with her for over a month and Dess found herself becoming more and more depressed. Both Crow and Dove were in the bed with her-they were down by her feet and as Dess cracked an eye open she looked towards the corner and saw that Winnie was fast asleep in his puppy bed.

She grunted as she swung her legs over the edge of the bed and then a low hiss escaped her lips as her feet hit the cold floor and Dess wondered if she could spend the rest of the day in bed. Suddenly she felt a churning in her stomach and Dess found herself sprinting towards the bathroom.

Her knees hit the hard tile floor just in time and soon enough what she had eaten the night before was floating in front of her eyes. Dess heaved a few more times, her eyes watering and she silently begged for this to be it. Finally she felt like her stomach had settled and Dess sighed as she flopped down on her butt, her back leaning up against the cool ceramic tub, her arms crossed over her sore stomach and she felt like crying.

Every morning she had felt sick to her stomach-she knew it was anxiety over Andy and his absence and Dess was thankful as she remembered that they had two more days apart and then he would be flying back home. As she sat there, her peacock patterned pj bottoms sticking to her sweaty legs, Dess felt a smirk creep on to her lips. Andy was coming home-no more lonely nights, no more sleeping alone…or at all.

Dess swiped at the hair that was sticking to her sweaty forehead and she went over in her brain everything that had gone on in the past month. They had gotten home from Warped, spent two wonderful weeks as shut ins and then there was the tearful goodbye at the airport. Andy didn’t want to leave, but Dess couldn’t go with him as she had too much to do with the wedding coming up and so they had to part. He was having fun out in LA-working on some stuff with Jake and then he had been in the studio with Ronnie working on some things.

While there he had also found out that AP wanted to do a special issue with him-two different covers and a four page spread. They were playing their last show later that night and while Andy and she had talked every day-for a few hours at a time-it wasn’t the same. The house felt empty without Andy around and Dess found herself talking out loud and then being shocked when he wasn’t there to give her a smart ass answer in return.

Sighing, Dess reached for a tissue and wiped at her mouth-she was getting sick of being sick every morning. She stood then, her legs still shaky and Dess had to hold on to the small sink to keep herself up right. She had yet to go to the doctor, something that she had lied to Andy about the minute he left and began pestering her about it. Dess wanted to go to the doctor, but she also didn’t want to know what was wrong right now because she had so much other shit she needed to get done.

Slowly Dess made her way back to their bedroom, frowning as she took in the messy and empty bed before moving towards her night stand to pick up her phone. A new message from Andy and two selfies-it was 9 AM in Virginia so that meant it was only 6 out in LA…poor guy was still suffering from the time difference. Dess smirked as she looked at the selfies that were obviously meant for her eyes only and then she felt her grin grow as she opened up his message and quickly typed in a reply.


Andy: Morning baby : )
Dess<3: Why are you up? I can’t even get you up before eight when you’re at home…
Andy: I miss you…I want to come home *pouts*
Dess<3: Aww I miss you too, but you can’t come home-you have to stay and finish out the last show
Andy: This isn’t as fun when you aren’t around *pouts even more*
Dess<3: Eh…you probably don’t want to be around me right now *has a stomach ache*
Andy: You’re sick again?! What did the doctor say?
Dess<3:…I-uh…haven’t gone to one yet?
Andy: *glares* We will talk about this when I get home
Dess<3: I love you *puppy face*
Andy: Not the puppy face!
Dess<3: Haha-go back to bed babe
Andy: I love you and just wish you would take care of yourself *pouts*
Dess<3: *kisses your pout* I love you too and I am taking care of myself
Andy: Bye baby <3
Dess<3: Bye sexy pants ; )


Dess smirked as she set her phone down and moved around the room to try and get things settled. Dove and Crow were still sleeping under her covers, their little heads poking out as she hummed to herself and tried to get some of the dirty clothes off of the floor. She had been slacking on taking care of things around the house-her depression had kicked in full force and she was finding it hard to even get things done for the wedding. Winnie poked his head up at her, his black eyes wide as Dess continued to hum to herself and she smiled as she looked around and noticed that in a short time she had gotten everything in its rightful place.

Off in the distance Dess heard the doorbell ringing and her feet skidded against the cold floor as she rushed out of the room and bounced down the stairs. The downstairs area was still dark and Dess couldn’t wait to start her day-after her little bout of sickness earlier and then talking to Andy she actually felt pretty good.


“Are you Odessa Montgomery?” A short girl asked and Dess smiled as she took in the small blue haired girl that stood in front of her. A Black Veil Brides shirt, skinny black jeans with holes in the knees, a black knit cap to fight off the early October wind-this girl reminded her of Trish and Moira.

“Yes, can I help you with something?” Dess asked as she watched the small girl shuffle from one foot to the other, her teeth grinding down on her lips as she tried to find her voice.

“I’m really sorry to just show up like this, but I couldn’t think of anywhere else to go. I-I used to be friends with your little sister. I was two years ahead of her and I came home from college this past summer and they told me what happened. I-I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for your loss.” The girl stuttered and then shivered as the wind whipped around her small frame. Dess smiled softly and brought the girl in for a hug before pulling away and nodding her head towards the kitchen.

“Thank you so much…do you want to come in and have a cup of coffee with me? I think this is the coldest October we’ve had in years…” Dess asked and the girl only nodded as Dess led her inside and shut the large front door against the cold wind.


Dess led the girl in to the kitchen, motioning for her to sit down at the table as she passed her and moved towards her coffee maker. She continued to hum to herself, smiling as she thought about what was coming in less than a month-her wedding. Everything was thankfully pretty much done for the big event-Dess just needed to finish up her center pieces and go to a final fitting for her dress. After ten minutes she had two coffee mugs in her hands and she smiled down at the girl as she pulled out a chair with the toe of her slipper and soon she was sitting across from this blue haired stranger.

Dess sipped at her coffee-the sweet coconut flavor warming her through and Dess knew that they were in for a cold ass winter. She cleared her throat and smiled at the girl, taking in her light blue eyes that were red rimmed and lined heavily with black eyeliner. This girl had said she was two years ahead of Moira, which meant that she was either twenty or almost. Suddenly Dess smiled to herself as she realized that she had yet to ask this girl her name.


“So you kind of look familiar, but I can’t place your face with a name…” Dess laughed as she sipped at her coffee and noticed that the small girl was fidgeting with the bag of pears that rested on the table top. Her blue eyes connected with Dess’ moss green ones and the girls smiled softly at one another.

“My name is Collette Peterson. I met Moira when she was a freshman and I was a junior-we had the same P.E teacher and we both hated her.” Collette laughed and Dess smirked-she remembered Moira had always hated P.E and would come home ranting about it on the days that she was forced to do something athletic.

“I remember her talking about a girl in her class that liked the same music as her. I take it that was you…” Dess smiled at the girl over the rim of her cup before setting it down and looking at her hands. They were so tiny-she had lost so much weight that sadly Dess had been unable to wear her engagement ring for the past month.

“Yeah, we used to walk around the track talking about all of these new bands. I remember the first time I had her listen to Black Veil Brides she nearly choked on her gum.” The girl laughed and then blushed as her eyes scanned over towards the wall near the phone and Dess smirked. There was a picture of she and Andy hanging there, both of them smiling in to the camera.

“So you’re the one I have to thank for introducing her to BVB?” Dess laughed as she gathered their cups and moved to the sink to wash them.

“Yeah that would be me. C-can I ask you something?” Collette’s smile faded from her lips and Dess turned around fully, wiping her hands on her pants as she leaned up against the front of the counter.

“You can ask me anything-I just may not give you a full answer depending on the question.” Dess smiled, but she knew that a lot of the fans wanted to know anything and everything about her relationship with Andy. Dess was an open person, but certain things had to remain private in order for their relationship to flourish.

“Oh-haha-it’s…it’s not about that. I was actually wanting to know if Moira was okay…in the end…did she suffer a whole lot? I was away when it happened and then my family spent all of my off time visiting different places so this was the first chance I got to really ask anyone what happened to her.” She asked and Dess felt like a tool in that moment. Here this girl was-mourning her sister still and all Dess could assume was that she was some crazy ass fan.

“Well she died from cancer-the same cancer that took our father from us. Andy and I were here with her when it happened, both of us holding on to her as she faded away. She was smiling, talking about all of the good music she would hear wherever she was going and then that was it…” Dess sniffed, the tears coming to her eyes but she held them back. Collette was openly crying and suddenly Dess felt for the young girl and soon enough they were hugging one another from across the table.

“I am so sorry for your loss-she was a really special girl…” Collette said as the two girls pulled apart and Dess only smiled softly at the girl as she tugged her hoodie around her shoulders more and resumed her seat. The room was silent for a few moments and then Dess smiled as she got an idea in her head.

“She was. So Collette-do you have anything going on today?” Dess asked as she smiled at the girl, her smirk devious and Collette laughed nervously.

“N-not really…why?” The girl asked and Dess only nodded her head towards the livingroom, which was where she had set up a makeshift workshop to work on her centerpieces.

“Well I need some help finishing some things up for the wedding. Wanna help me out?” Dess smiled and Collette only nodded vigorously as the two girls got up from the table and walked off towards the small room.


Every surface in the room was covered with bits of paper, toys, broken plastic pieces and glitter. Dess knew it was a disaster area, but she had been busy trying to get twelve center pieces done all by herself and she still had a day and a half to clean everything up before Andy got home. Dess smiled as she handed Collette a hot glue gun and began to give her a rundown of what was going on. Each table was themed to a different movie monster-both classic and new.

So far there was a Dracula Table, Frankenstein, The Mummy, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Freddie, Jason, Michael Myers, Zombie, Swamp Thing, The Invisible Man, Witches, and Hitchcock. The girls got to it right away-Dess was finishing up with the Jekyll and Hyde piece, which included test tubes, a small fog machine and a top hat. Collette had taken up working on the Hitchcock piece, which had a fake raven, butcher knife and skull that needed to all be arranged.

The girls laughed and joked all day and as the sun faded behind the almost leafless trees, Dess knew that this had been a good choice. She had needed the help, but more than that she just needed the company. It turned out that Collette was studying art down in North Carolina and the two girls could have spent hours talking about theory and technique.

Soon enough though Collette claimed that it was time for her to go and the two girls hugged at the door as Dess walked her out. The older girl stood in the open doorway, watching the younger girl as she walked towards a small red car and she smiled. The winds were changing and while Dess knew she was sick-sicker than she wanted to admit, she couldn’t help but feel overly excited for this wedding and her new life with the man of her dreams.




“Thank you so much LA! We’ll see you guys later this fall along with Bullet For My Valentine!” Andy shouted into the mic before placing it back in the stand and following the rest of his bandmates off stage.


Andy smiled as he followed behind Jinxx and he knew that he was happy for two reasons-they had just played one of their best shows and he was one day closer to seeing Dess and their home. He had missed being in LA-LA meant a lot to him and the guys, but Andy had fallen in love with living in Virginia. It was so quiet and empty, especially around their house and they could do what they wanted… within reason. In LA people were always on top of one another and he couldn’t walk down the street without getting stopped.

Out where they lived-Andy often drove to a small coffee shop in the mornings to get his coffee and he was shocked at first that no one seemed to know who he was and even when they found out they could have cared less. Andy walked into the dressing room and groaned-Ashley was already flirting with two blondes that had gotten back there and CC was chatting up a short red head in the corner.

Andy said nothing as he walked past them all and headed over to the small counter where his bag was still sitting. Ever since their last show on Warped Andy had found that he had missed the makeup and the theatrics-so he had begun applying it in small places and of course he had already dyed his once blonde hair back to black. Dess had seen pictures and of course she had seen it when they skyped and she would only laugh and tell him she loved him no matter what color his hair was.

Quickly he packed up his things, hoping to get back to the hotel to pack everything else up. He had a photo shoot with AP the next morning-they were shooting his covers and the pictures for his spread, which he was really proud of and then he would be leaving the studio and flying home that night. Closing his eyes, Andy smiled softly as he imagined getting off that plane and walking down the terminal towards Dess. As he stood there, Andy felt a pair of hands touch his chest, arms wrapping themselves around him from behind and his eyes snapped open.


“Hey baby…you were amazing up there tonight…” A voice whispered in his ear and at first he thought it was Dess, having come to surprise him. Sadly though Andy looked in the mirror and saw that it was a short blonde-fake hair, fake tits, fake eyelashes and he sighed loudly.

“I-uh-thanks.” Andy said as he smiled at the girl in the mirror but soon he was focusing back on getting his things packed up. The girl walked away from him with a deep huff and a pout on her fake lips and Andy only smiled to himself. Groupies were idiots-plain and simple.

“Dude!” Someone hissed in his ear and as Andy looked up he was met with Ashley’s irritated gaze. Andy quickly zipped up his bag, slung it over his shoulder and looked around the room for his leather jacket.

“What? Excuse me…” Andy said quickly as he dodged around the shorter bassist and spotted his jacket laying on the back of one of the wooden chairs.

“Don’t ‘what’ me…that girl is fucking hot and throwing herself at you.” Ash said as he followed Andy around the room and the tall singer just shot him a look over his tattooed shoulder, rolling his eyes as he turned to face Ashley and everyone else in the room-including the dejected looking blonde in the corner.

“Yeah and I am about to get married in less than a month. I don’t need this right now Ash…” Andy said as he dropped his duffle to the ground and crossed his tattooed arms over his lanky chest.

“So? Come on dude-you didn’t get to have a bachelor party this summer…so take the stick out of your ass and hang out with one of those two lovely ladies over there…” Ashley said as he placed an arm around Andy’s shoulders and pointed off towards the corner where both girls had perked up at the mention of their presence.

“Okay well there are two guys in this room-yourself included-who hung out with too many lovely ladies and now you’re paying for it.” Andy snarled as he gave a pointed look towards Jinxx and shrugged Ash’s arm from his shoulders. He wasn’t going to entertain the idea of cheating on Dess and Andy knew Ash needed to get the same thought out of his head.

“Dude come on…you’re about to be tied down. Don’t you want to have a little fun before it’s too late?” Ashley smirked at his bandmate and Andy only snarled as he bent down and picked up his duffle from the floor.

“You want to know what my idea of fun is right now Ash?” Andy asked as he looked down at the bassist and wondered where his best friend had been hurt in his life to become so cynical about love.

“Enlighten me…” Ashley smirked up at him before bringing his beer to his smiling lips and taking a slow sip. Andy cocked an eyebrow and looked over Ash’s shoulder to see that Jake was avoiding eye contact, CC was smirking like an idiot and Jinxx-poor Jinxx- had lost all color to his already pale face. Good-his ass needed to feel guilty for what he had done to Sammi.

“I’m going to get in to a cab. Go back to my room and take a shower…” Andy said, but stopped as Ashley had spit out his beer and was laughing deeply, his palms pressed against his knees.

“Oh yeah…you sound really great now grandpa…” Ashley laughed as he stood up straight and it took everything within Andy for him not to hit Ashley Purdy in the fucking face in that moment.

“Let me finish-I’m going to shower and then I’m going to get in my warm bed and either call or Skype with one of the most perfect girls in the world-one that even you wanted less than six months ago Ash. And do you know where you’ll be?” Andy was the one who was smirking right now and Ashley’s face fell as he remembered his well known crush on a certain comic book artist.

“Oh, where do you think I’ll be Biersack?” Ashley asked, his arms crossed over his chest and the room was deathly quiet as Andy only smirked and turned to leave. Before exiting the room to catch his cab, Andy turned around and clapped Ashley on one shoulder as he pointed with his free hand towards the two girls in the corner.

“With one or both of them I’m sure-but in the morning when you wake up…after you fucked them in some lonely hotel room or elevator…you’ll be all alone and I won’t be. I’ll be on my way home to the girl of my dreams. I may be a grandpa to you now Ashley-but I’ve got one sexy as fuck grandma waiting up for me to rock her world.” Andy smirked as he turned from his bandmates, waving at them as he left the dressing room and said his goodbyes to the crew.


Andy held up his hand, that boyish grin on his face as he watched a car come to a stop infront of him and he spoke to the driver lowly. Ashley was a lonely person, Andy knew that and as he watched the city pass him by, he only hoped that one day Ashley Purdy would find the girl of his dreams.

Notes

Ooooo MAJOR burn against Ashley Purdy in. Andy's getting tired of your shit Ash...better watch your back.
So! I have updated two days in row. Why you ask? Because with this weekend being busy with the Super Bowl *gag* I won't have time until Sunday to update again. Sorry guys, but at least we're now only ONE chapter away from getting to their Wedding!

Review<3

What It Is To Burn Tumblr