What It Is To Burn

Odessa held on to Andy’s hand as they made it through the restaurant and all she could focus on was the back of Trish’s head as they followed the small brunette as she wove between tables. They were being led to the back of the building and Dess could see that everyone else had already shown up, the guys sounded jolly and half drunk even from the point that she was at. The room was small, only big enough to accommodate a long wooden table and just enough chairs for the group.

Everyone grew silent as they approached and Dess could see that Ashley’s mouth had fallen open as he took in the site of his bandmate. Jon was sitting at the head of the table and even he had stopped talking as they entered the room. There were only three empty seats left, two of them near the head of the table and the other at the opposite end between CC and Jinxx. No one said anything as the three of them took their seats, Dess and Andy together near Jon and Trish smiled at CC as she sat down next to him.


“Hey guys.” Dess said simply as she unrolled her napkin, placing her silverware on the table and then her napkin went in her lap. No one said anything, they all just continued to look on in silence as Andy followed Dess’ moves and then there was a small girl standing in between both of them.

“Hi! My name is Jessica and I’ll be taking care of you guys tonight. Everyone else has drinks, so what can I get you guys?” The girl was really tiny-like 4 foot tiny and Dess only smiled at her, catching Andy’s eye before she ordered.

“Uh-can I get a glass of Riesling and some water please.” Dess said as she smiled at the girl and then popped open her menu. Dess usually didn’t drink a whole lot before tour, but with the way things were going tonight she knew she was going to need at least one glass of wine.

“I’ll-uh-I’ll have a jack and coke and some water, thanks.” Andy said, smiling up at the girl and Dess thought the poor thing was going to faint. Andy always had a dazzling smile and he knew how to use it, especially against girls who were of the teenage variety.

“Alright, well I’ll be right back with that and give you guys some time to look things over.” Jessica said as she gave Andy the once over and Dess had to contain her laughter. The girl couldn’t of been more than eighteen and of course Andy was smiling like the Cheshire Cat in that moment.

“So how’s everyone’s day going?” Dess asked as she looked around the table. The guys all were still looking at her and Andy, but at least Ashley had closed his mouth and CC didn’t have that wide eyed look on his face anymore.

“It, was-uh-dude what did you do to your hair?” Ashley asked, his eyes leaving Andy’s face and traveling north to take in the mop of blonde hair that was now present where darkness used to reign.

“I changed it.” Andy said simply as he smiled at the group and took a sip of the jack and coke that had just been placed in front of him. Dess stayed silent as she just sipped at her wine and made eye contact with Trish near the end of the table. The younger girl only shrugged as she sipped at her soda.

“Yeah, I can fucking see that. Why?” Ashley asked and Dess felt Andy’s hand tense in hers as he squared off with his bassist and best friend.

“Why not?” Andy said, crossing his arms over his chest and Dess noticed that he kept giving her the side eye. She only smiled-you got yourself into this buddy, you can damn well get yourself out.

“It-it’s not rock and roll Andy…” Ashley said and Dess almost spit out the water that she had been drinking at that statement. Rock and Roll? That’s what mattered right now? Whether some one’s hair was rock and roll or not?

“Are you shitting me right now with this Purdy?” Dess couldn’t keep quiet and soon she had locked eyes with the bassist and he looked shamed as his brown eyes stared in to her light green orbs.

“I mean we’re supposed to have this dark look and here’s Biersack over here…always having to stand out.” Ash said, his voice low and Dess felt her fists clench. What exactly was he implying?

“How many drinks has he had?” Dess looked towards Jinxx and the guitarist looked at her, his eyes shy as he held up a hand, all five fingers were up. Christ. No wonder he was being a gigantic douche right now.

“I’m fine. Look I’m just saying everything that the fans are going to be saying when pictures of tomorrows performance hit the internet. It’s going to be just like when he cut his hair the first time.” Ash said, sipping at his drink, a smug look on his lips. Dess wanted to hit him-no-kill him as she sat there and looked his way.

“Okay, but Andy is your bandmate and your brother for all intents and purposes-you should be supporting him no matter what.” Dess said and then she grew silent as Andy had shot her a look. Dess scrunched her nose at him and then picked up her wine glass, draining it in one gulp and then her eyes scanned the front for their waitress. In order to not jump across the table and kill Ashley fuckin’ Purdy right now-she was going to need more wine…in a fucking Big Gulp.

“Look, I’m sorry if this pisses you guys off, but I did it for me. Not to gain extra attention or anything like that. I wanted to change it up and besides my hair was getting nasty with all of the dye. I’ll probably change it back after the tour-I just wanted something a little more maintenance free since we won’t see a shower for a few days at a time.” Andy said, his tone even and as undefensive as he could make it.

“We get it dude. I personally think it’s a nice change…we all could use a change here and there.” Jinxx said and Dess smiled at him. Jinxx was always the even tempered and equal minded one in the group and that’s why Dess loved him so much. He helped her to keep these other yahoos under control.

“Yeah, I mean we’re all changing. Look at how little makeup we’ve been rocking. I personally wasn’t even going to fuck with that shit this summer-its too fucking hot as is and takes too long.” Jake said and Andy smiled at the guitarist and raised his jack and coke in a silent salute.

“As long as you keep fucking singing that way you usually do I don’t give a fuck if you get on that stage in a fucking dress. Can we just eat and enjoy this fucking night?!” CC laughed from his end of the table and he smiled down at Trish and clinked his tall pilsner glass against her tiny glass of soda.


The matter seemed settled, even though Ashley still wore a sour look on his face but no one paid any attention to him. Dess did however corner Jessica and told her to not serve Ash any more liquor since he was already getting out of hand and they needed to be up fucking early the next day. The younger girl agreed and said that she would hold off as long as she could. She also asked Dess if it would be okay if she asked the guys for a picture since she was such a huge fan and Dess nodded and ushered the girl back to the table. Her meek voice was barely heard, but after Dess shouted out for them to shut up, the guys were more than happy to oblige their fan in her request. After pictures were taken, Jessica happily took their order and everything seemed to get back to normal. Dess smiled as she looked down the table at Trish-it felt like having Moira around.


“So Trish are you excited for this summer?” Dess asked from down the table and she smiled as the small brunette turned to her, her eyes shining in the candle light.

“I can’t even tell you how excited I am for this summer Dess. Thank you so much for asking me to come along. I swear I will sell all of your stuff-I will whore it out the best that I can.” Trish laughed, as did everyone else and as Dess smiled at the younger girl she felt slightly sad. It should be Moira sitting here-it should be Moira going on this tour to help Dess out with her tent.

“I just want you to have a good time. Is there anyone who you want to see? I was thinking that maybe one or two days during the tour I’ll cover the tent the entire day so that you can have a real Warped experience.” Dess said and she smiled as Andy squeezed her hand and smirked down at her. Dess had such a big heart-it was one of the things that he loved about her and Andy was so proud of her for getting to this point.

“These guys of course! Also Sleeping With Sirens, We Came As Romans, the Used and Bring Me The Horizon. I’m just really happy to be doing something this summer instead of sitting around the house waiting for college to get here.” She laughed and the entire table broke out into smiles as their food had finally arrived.


The group ate in near silence and Dess smiled as she dug into her pasta dish and knew that this would probably be the last really decent meal she would eat. She was not cooking on this tour-it was so expensive to try and keep things stocked and she got really tired of the pickiness of CC and the demands from Andy that she make him something different. So it would be the catering tent or sandwiches and everyone seemed fine with that. Dess and CC had made a pact for this tour-no pranks on one another, especially when it came to drumsets or coffee makers. Instead they had planned on engaging another band in an all out prank war and Dess had the perfect one in mind. Finally finished and with their plates cleared, Dess turned to the guys and smiled.


“So-what’s the set list this time around boys? Anything new?” She asked and all of them sat there for a moment until finally Jake spoke up.

“I think it’s going to be mostly stuff off of the new album, plus Fallen Angels and Rebel Yell. Right?” He seemed unsure and Andy only smiled as all of the guys nodded their heads. They hadn’t intended to play Fallen Angels, but Andy knew that it had been Moira’s favorite and he would probably always play that song at every show-just for her.

“So I think we should all go around the table and say what our hopes for this tour are…” Dess suggested as she looked around the table and smiled at all of the guys as they nodded in agreement.

“I’m hoping to have a kickass summer-hopefully I don’t kill you all. I also hope that my t-shirts at least sell 50% by the summers end.” Dess started and she smiled as she looked towards Andy and held up her wine glass to him. They clinked glasses and then he turned to the table.

“I hope that we just give our fans the best show we can. I’m so honored to be playing the same festival that I loved as a kid and I can’t wait to do it with you guys this summer.” Andy said, his voice low as he tipped his glass towards Jon.

“I just hope you fuckers stay out of trouble this time around. No fighting with other bands…I can’t play referee all summer long.” Jon laughed as the guys all chuckled and he tipped his glass towards Ashley. Dess inhaled a breath as she looked towards the intoxicated bassist.

“I hope I get some really awesome chicks!” Ashley said, his words slurred as he tipped his glass to Jake and almost spilled its contents all over the slightly annoyed guitarist. Dess knew that Ash was going to be trouble this summer-she could feel it in her bones.

“I hope we rock the fuck out all summer and make some great memories!” Jake said quickly, clinking his glass with Jinxx and Dess smiled. Jake had recently become one of her favorite people-they had really bonded on the last tour when he took on the challenge of teaching her guitar.

“I just hope the fans like what we have to offer this time around. I know it’s not what they’re used to, but it’s the best we’ve ever done.” Jinxx said and there was a low murmuring of agreement from around the table.

“Uh-I fucking hope I don’t get sunburned this time around. I also hope that Dess and I can start a sweet ass prank war with some unlucky band!” CC laughed as Dess fist bumped him and smiled over at the drummer. Other than Andy, CC was probably another person that Dess would call a best friend. They fought like cats and dogs, but they had a shit ton of fun together too.

“My turn?” Trish asked, pointing to herself as Dess only nodded and smiled at the youngest member of their little rag tag group of trouble makers. Trish was so much like Moira it was scary, but Dess loved her all the same.

“Honestly-I hope I make Moira proud. She loved this band and Warped more than anything in her life and I just want to have fun for her this summer. Warped was the only thing we all looked forward to during the school year and I know for Moira the thought of getting to go to a place where she would always be accepted was what got her through a lot of the shit she had to put up with. So yeah-this tour is for her in my eyes and I hope we all make her proud.” Trish raised her glass, tears in her eyes as the group all raised their own glasses towards the middle of the table and cheered to Moira and to Warped Tour.


The group grew quiet as they all mingled and drank some more and Dess was beginning to feel slightly tipsy and sleepy. They all had an early morning tomorrow-having to be up and on the bus by 6 am so that they could get to the venue on time. Dess gave Andy a look and after the bill was finally settled, the small group hit the street as a unit-loud and obnoxious as ever. She held on to Andy for support, laughing and giggling as CC and Ash stumbled down the street and Dess felt happy in that moment.

This was bound to be one crazy summer and she absolutely could not wait for it.

Notes

The infamous haircut ; ). I personally thought he looked good with lighter hair, but he also looks really good with black hair so I guess it's whatever *shrugs*

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