Bound By Love
Regrets And Wonders
Andy
I’ll give it a chance. I’ll give this man a fucking chance. I promised Bill I would but if he keeps on laughing like he’s been here my entire life I will seriously snap this fork in half.
“Andrew, tell your old man how is school going?”
“Fine.” I answered vaguely.
“And how are your friends?”
‘They’re fine…dad.”
“Look, I know I wasn’t there but can you give me credit for trying? I really want to be here for you.”
“Why’d you leave?”
“Andrew, I wasn’t ready to be a dad because of my line of work. I counsel men who are sexual predators and harm children. I didn’t want to have a child if I knew what these monsters were thinking about doing. I had to sit there and listen to them talk about raping, abusing and abducting kids like it was something good. But when I found out what happened with Bill it hit home because these monsters were so close to you and even though I wasn’t there I had to make sure you were okay. I lied about leaving because I was young, it’s because if I stayed you’d be sheltered. Your mother raised you so well, Andy. You were allowed to make friends and go to school and apparently find love.” He gestured to Bill who was eating his food so quietly.
“Sir, I’d like to know. What exactly did my father say about me?” Bill asked.
“Bill, I don’t---.”
“No, Andy, I want to know. I want to know what thoughts ran through that monster’s mind when he was raping me. Go on, sir.”
“Well, it was some very uh, graphic things. He told me he wanted to take it to other levels.”
“Other levels? Like what?”
“Torture sex, he wanted to use chains, whips, knives, and other things that I just don’t want to talk about.” Bill nearly choked and looked at him.
“What?! What did he think of…me? Did he ever say if he regrets doing what he did to me?”
“No, he said if he could he’d do it all again because you were the best he ever had.” Bill put his fork down and got up.
“I’m done, thank you for dinner, Ms. Biersack.” He left the kitchen and I heard my door close upstairs.
“Well, that went well.”
“Don’t make stupid jokes! Why’d you tell him all that? What happened to doctor/patient confidentiality?”
“I am not a therapist. I am a person who learns how these monsters work and then I tell their family so they can better understand, Bill is his son and has every right to know.”
“But he is still suffering from all the years his father put him through hell! You aren’t doing him justice you’re just making him worse!” I slammed my fork down and went up to my room.
“Bill. Are you alright?” I hear crying and it was coming from the bathroom. I walked over and opened the door. I saw Bill sitting in the tub and his wrists were red with blood.
“Oh god!” I bent down and grabbed a towel from the sink and pressed it to the wounds.
“He doesn’t even regret it. He doesn’t even care. I thought that maybe it was the liquor. The liquor made daddy hurt me but it was just him. He did it all on his own.” He mumbled.
“It’s okay. I’m here.” I pulled him into me for a hug and he cried into my chest.
“Why? Why? Why would he intentionally hurt me? I’ve done nothing to him and he wants to shove all foreign objects into me like I am some dummy or cheap whore! Doesn’t he love me, he loved me when I was younger and he was still with mommy but now he just wants to make me his play thing!” He cried. I heard the door creak open and I turned to see my mother standing there.
“Is he okay?” She whispered. Before I could answer, she spotted the bloodied towel. She’d seen this before because I haven’t always been a happy child. She simply went to the medicine cabinet, grabbed a few bandages and ointment and bent down next to us. She gently took his arms and wiped them down with the cream before covering them with the bandages.
“Your father is sorry for tonight and he is spending the night…with me.” I looked at her and sighed.
“It’s your bed and your house. If the asshole wants to stay it’s your fucking choice.”
“Okay, you can finish up with him, right?”
“I’m the only person who’s on his side, mom. I’m the one person who wishes to help him to help him and not give a fuck about what it gets me.”
“Okay.” She kissed my cheek and was about to leave when Bill’s arm shot out and grabbed her skirt.
“Bill?”
“Don’t go no one has ever cared for me before. My mom was never there and you’re the first mom to care about me.” He mumbled. She smiled and sat back down.
“Bill, I care because you remind me so much of my own son. Lost and feeling alone but you know now that there are people who care about you. I care, Andy cares, Ashley cares, your brother and mother both care. We all want you to be happy and to move on from this dark period of your life because I am sure, as a mother, that deep down in there you have something that the world would love to see. A talent or something that makes you, you.” She smiled.
“T—thank you.”
“No problem.” She kissed his forehead and left the bathroom. He looked up at me through bloodshot eyes.
“She’s so nice.”
“Yeah, well she’s my mom. I think I got my kindness from somewhere.” He yawned and nuzzled into my chest.
“I’m tired.”
“Okay, I’ll take you to bed.” I hooked my arm underneath his legs and picked him up out of the tub. He was fast asleep in my arms and I carried him to my room and laid him on the bed. He looked so innocent when he slept. The way his mouth was partly open and soft snores that filled my quiet room. I smiled and kissed his cheek. I left the room and heard a little ding from my phone. I pulled it from my pocket and looked at the message alert. It was Ashley.
‘Dude, I am sitting in a coffee shop and pervert #1 and 2 are here.’
‘Where?!’
‘Near the school.’
‘I’ll be there soon.’ I stuffed my phone back into my pocket and went downstairs.
“Andrew, you’re going out?” I turned to see my dad hanging his blazer in the foyer closet.
“Yeah, I’m meeting Ashley for coffee.”
“I’ll drive you.”
“It’s fine. I’ll manage. I have money for the bus and it’s not too far away. Besides, I’m sure my mom wants you here.” I grabbed my house keys off the rack and went out the door. It wasn’t that cold so I was fine in my band tee and jeans and my tattered old boots. I walked down the street and finally made it to the coffee house. I saw Ashley in a booth and he looked generally freaked.
“So, where are they?” I asked as soon as I walked up.
“Laptop station next to the pool table.” I glanced over and sure enough there they were. I sat down and Ashley stared at me.
“When did they get here?”
“Twenty minutes ago, I texted Tom too. He’s on the way.”
“Okay.” I sat there and kept them in my peripherals. Tom soon arrived and walked over to our booth.
“I saw the bastards when I walked in. So what’s the plan?” He asked as he sat down.
“We’ll wait for them to leave and we’ll get the assholes in the intersection. Neither of them brought a car because the police are looking for them and that would be too noticeable. We’ll tear them apart then call the cops. Remember this is for Bill.”
“I know, I know.” We sat there sipping coffee and once they left we followed. Gordon and Jorg never turned to see if we were following them. They walked to the intersection and that’s when I lit my cigarette.
“HEY!” Tom called out. They stopped and turned around.
“T—tom?” His dad stammered.
“Yeah, dad, it’s Tom. And hello to you too Gordon.”
“It’s late what are you kids doing out here?”
“Simple, Gordon before we turn you assholes in we’re going to have a little fun of our own first.” I stopped out the cigarette and pulled my hair into a ponytail. Tom grabbed his dad and slammed him into the concrete and a few punches followed. Ashley and I got Gordon who was the bigger of the two. I got so angry and I just went full fury on him. Ashley pulled me off when he was so badly beaten his face was covered with blood.
“Calm down, it’s over.”
“HE TRUSTED YOU! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE HIS FATHER AND LOVE HIM! THE BOTH OF YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO LOVE HIM! HOW CAN YOU JUST SMILE AND HURT HIM?! HOW CAN YOU?!” I screamed. Tom pulled out his phone and called the cops while I took my anger out on an empty garbage can. I kicked and punched and tossed it across the street. I then went over there and kicked it some more. The police arrived and Ashley had to explain why I was so angry. We weren’t arrested because we explained they wouldn’t have stayed if we didn’t rough them up a bit but I was taken downtown to calm down. I went of my own will and I sat in the precinct with Ashley and Tom of my own free will.
“So, when he’s all calm and they’re locked up we’ll let you boys leave.”
“Okay.” Tom replied and I sat there bouncing my knee. He got what he deserves, now I can concentrate solely on making sure Bill is okay.
I’ll give it a chance. I’ll give this man a fucking chance. I promised Bill I would but if he keeps on laughing like he’s been here my entire life I will seriously snap this fork in half.
“Andrew, tell your old man how is school going?”
“Fine.” I answered vaguely.
“And how are your friends?”
‘They’re fine…dad.”
“Look, I know I wasn’t there but can you give me credit for trying? I really want to be here for you.”
“Why’d you leave?”
“Andrew, I wasn’t ready to be a dad because of my line of work. I counsel men who are sexual predators and harm children. I didn’t want to have a child if I knew what these monsters were thinking about doing. I had to sit there and listen to them talk about raping, abusing and abducting kids like it was something good. But when I found out what happened with Bill it hit home because these monsters were so close to you and even though I wasn’t there I had to make sure you were okay. I lied about leaving because I was young, it’s because if I stayed you’d be sheltered. Your mother raised you so well, Andy. You were allowed to make friends and go to school and apparently find love.” He gestured to Bill who was eating his food so quietly.
“Sir, I’d like to know. What exactly did my father say about me?” Bill asked.
“Bill, I don’t---.”
“No, Andy, I want to know. I want to know what thoughts ran through that monster’s mind when he was raping me. Go on, sir.”
“Well, it was some very uh, graphic things. He told me he wanted to take it to other levels.”
“Other levels? Like what?”
“Torture sex, he wanted to use chains, whips, knives, and other things that I just don’t want to talk about.” Bill nearly choked and looked at him.
“What?! What did he think of…me? Did he ever say if he regrets doing what he did to me?”
“No, he said if he could he’d do it all again because you were the best he ever had.” Bill put his fork down and got up.
“I’m done, thank you for dinner, Ms. Biersack.” He left the kitchen and I heard my door close upstairs.
“Well, that went well.”
“Don’t make stupid jokes! Why’d you tell him all that? What happened to doctor/patient confidentiality?”
“I am not a therapist. I am a person who learns how these monsters work and then I tell their family so they can better understand, Bill is his son and has every right to know.”
“But he is still suffering from all the years his father put him through hell! You aren’t doing him justice you’re just making him worse!” I slammed my fork down and went up to my room.
“Bill. Are you alright?” I hear crying and it was coming from the bathroom. I walked over and opened the door. I saw Bill sitting in the tub and his wrists were red with blood.
“Oh god!” I bent down and grabbed a towel from the sink and pressed it to the wounds.
“He doesn’t even regret it. He doesn’t even care. I thought that maybe it was the liquor. The liquor made daddy hurt me but it was just him. He did it all on his own.” He mumbled.
“It’s okay. I’m here.” I pulled him into me for a hug and he cried into my chest.
“Why? Why? Why would he intentionally hurt me? I’ve done nothing to him and he wants to shove all foreign objects into me like I am some dummy or cheap whore! Doesn’t he love me, he loved me when I was younger and he was still with mommy but now he just wants to make me his play thing!” He cried. I heard the door creak open and I turned to see my mother standing there.
“Is he okay?” She whispered. Before I could answer, she spotted the bloodied towel. She’d seen this before because I haven’t always been a happy child. She simply went to the medicine cabinet, grabbed a few bandages and ointment and bent down next to us. She gently took his arms and wiped them down with the cream before covering them with the bandages.
“Your father is sorry for tonight and he is spending the night…with me.” I looked at her and sighed.
“It’s your bed and your house. If the asshole wants to stay it’s your fucking choice.”
“Okay, you can finish up with him, right?”
“I’m the only person who’s on his side, mom. I’m the one person who wishes to help him to help him and not give a fuck about what it gets me.”
“Okay.” She kissed my cheek and was about to leave when Bill’s arm shot out and grabbed her skirt.
“Bill?”
“Don’t go no one has ever cared for me before. My mom was never there and you’re the first mom to care about me.” He mumbled. She smiled and sat back down.
“Bill, I care because you remind me so much of my own son. Lost and feeling alone but you know now that there are people who care about you. I care, Andy cares, Ashley cares, your brother and mother both care. We all want you to be happy and to move on from this dark period of your life because I am sure, as a mother, that deep down in there you have something that the world would love to see. A talent or something that makes you, you.” She smiled.
“T—thank you.”
“No problem.” She kissed his forehead and left the bathroom. He looked up at me through bloodshot eyes.
“She’s so nice.”
“Yeah, well she’s my mom. I think I got my kindness from somewhere.” He yawned and nuzzled into my chest.
“I’m tired.”
“Okay, I’ll take you to bed.” I hooked my arm underneath his legs and picked him up out of the tub. He was fast asleep in my arms and I carried him to my room and laid him on the bed. He looked so innocent when he slept. The way his mouth was partly open and soft snores that filled my quiet room. I smiled and kissed his cheek. I left the room and heard a little ding from my phone. I pulled it from my pocket and looked at the message alert. It was Ashley.
‘Dude, I am sitting in a coffee shop and pervert #1 and 2 are here.’
‘Where?!’
‘Near the school.’
‘I’ll be there soon.’ I stuffed my phone back into my pocket and went downstairs.
“Andrew, you’re going out?” I turned to see my dad hanging his blazer in the foyer closet.
“Yeah, I’m meeting Ashley for coffee.”
“I’ll drive you.”
“It’s fine. I’ll manage. I have money for the bus and it’s not too far away. Besides, I’m sure my mom wants you here.” I grabbed my house keys off the rack and went out the door. It wasn’t that cold so I was fine in my band tee and jeans and my tattered old boots. I walked down the street and finally made it to the coffee house. I saw Ashley in a booth and he looked generally freaked.
“So, where are they?” I asked as soon as I walked up.
“Laptop station next to the pool table.” I glanced over and sure enough there they were. I sat down and Ashley stared at me.
“When did they get here?”
“Twenty minutes ago, I texted Tom too. He’s on the way.”
“Okay.” I sat there and kept them in my peripherals. Tom soon arrived and walked over to our booth.
“I saw the bastards when I walked in. So what’s the plan?” He asked as he sat down.
“We’ll wait for them to leave and we’ll get the assholes in the intersection. Neither of them brought a car because the police are looking for them and that would be too noticeable. We’ll tear them apart then call the cops. Remember this is for Bill.”
“I know, I know.” We sat there sipping coffee and once they left we followed. Gordon and Jorg never turned to see if we were following them. They walked to the intersection and that’s when I lit my cigarette.
“HEY!” Tom called out. They stopped and turned around.
“T—tom?” His dad stammered.
“Yeah, dad, it’s Tom. And hello to you too Gordon.”
“It’s late what are you kids doing out here?”
“Simple, Gordon before we turn you assholes in we’re going to have a little fun of our own first.” I stopped out the cigarette and pulled my hair into a ponytail. Tom grabbed his dad and slammed him into the concrete and a few punches followed. Ashley and I got Gordon who was the bigger of the two. I got so angry and I just went full fury on him. Ashley pulled me off when he was so badly beaten his face was covered with blood.
“Calm down, it’s over.”
“HE TRUSTED YOU! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE HIS FATHER AND LOVE HIM! THE BOTH OF YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO LOVE HIM! HOW CAN YOU JUST SMILE AND HURT HIM?! HOW CAN YOU?!” I screamed. Tom pulled out his phone and called the cops while I took my anger out on an empty garbage can. I kicked and punched and tossed it across the street. I then went over there and kicked it some more. The police arrived and Ashley had to explain why I was so angry. We weren’t arrested because we explained they wouldn’t have stayed if we didn’t rough them up a bit but I was taken downtown to calm down. I went of my own will and I sat in the precinct with Ashley and Tom of my own free will.
“So, when he’s all calm and they’re locked up we’ll let you boys leave.”
“Okay.” Tom replied and I sat there bouncing my knee. He got what he deserves, now I can concentrate solely on making sure Bill is okay.
@Purdy's_little_lady_outlaw there's a sequel called Fond Memories
5/6/14