Ashley’s Point of View

I stood in front of the bathroom, hand placed on the door palm up, ready to push it open.
However, I hesitated. What if Sandra was right? What if Andy needed to be left alone for a bit to
figure stuff out on his own? I mean, as much as I cared and wanted to be there for him, I really didn’t know him well enough to know what he needed in times like this. That, and I seemed to be the reason he was so upset.

I sighed heavily and was about to walk to my locker when I heard someone laugh from the other side of the door. I leaned in closer and heard another guy laugh. It was a deep, loud laugh that was unmistakably Andy. Maybe Jinxx had some how managed to cheer him up and he’d be willing to talk to me and tell me what I did wrong. With that though, I pushed open the door.

"Andy?" I called. I heard someone gasp and some shuffling from one of the stalls, but no one answered.

"Andy?" I called again. I heard someone, presumably Andy sigh.

"In here." He said. "Give us a moment."

Us? The fuck?

I heard more shuffling and finally a click indicating that the stall door was being unlocked. Not even a second later Jinxx stepped out, glaring at me.

His hate-filled looked shocked and confused me. Before any of this happened, we seemed to be really getting along. Out of CC, Jake, Jinxx, and Sandra, I had been getting along with Jinxx the most. So why now did he suddenly seem to hate me?

I was about to call him out on it and ask him when Andy stepped out of the stall and the words got stuck in my throat. He walked out looking at his boots so I couldn’t see his face, but I knew something was seriously wrong by the way he shuffled out awkwardly. Usually he walked with such pretend confidence as to piss off Justin; his head held high, his shoulders back, and a stupid smirk on his face, but right now he walked with his head down, and shoulders slumped.

"Andy what’s wrong?" I asked, taking a step towards him. I leaned in to hug him but he awkwardly shrugged me off.

"Nothing." He muttered, still looking down at the ground so that his hair hung in his face.
I paused then turned toJinxx. “Can I talk to him alone for a moment please?” I asked.

Jinxx glared at me, then turned to Andy. As soon as he laid eyes on my fragile looking boyfriend, his face relaxed, concern and friendly love replacing the look of hate and disgust he wore when he looked at me.

"Will you be okay with him Andy?" He asked softly.

Okay with me? I wanted to scream. I’m his fucking boyfriend you dick!

I was about to open my mouth to tell him exactly that, but Andy spoke before I could get the words out.

"Yeah," He said quietly. He raised his head up a bit to look atJinxxthrough his fringe.

“Thanks Jinxxy.”

"No problem." Jinxx said smiling. Then he turned to me and his smile faded. "Text me later, yeah Andy?"

"Yeah."

With one last look of disgust, he stalked out of the bathroom.

"What do you want?" Andy asked quietly, looking back at the ground.

"Uh, to talk to you? See if you’re okay?" I responded hesitantly.

“Oh.” He replied bluntly, still refusing to look at me. “Well, as you can see I’m fine.”
He pushed past me and started to head for the door, but I grabbed his wrist to stop him. He let out a tiny hiss like I had hurt him and I quickly let go, thinking I grabbed him more tightly than I meant to.

“Sorry,” I said. Andy just nodded, but didn’t say anything. His back was still towards me, but at least he hadn’t walked out on me yet.

“Andy, I can tell you’re not fine. I can also see that I did something wrong. You’re mad at me, Jinxx is clearly fucking pissed at me, but the problem is I seriously don’t know what I did wrong.
Can you please tell me so I can fix it?”

Andy shook is head slowly.

“Why?” I asked softly.

He hesitated, and then slowly turned around. He lifted up his head so that his eyes met mine. His beautiful eyes were bloodshot from crying and his makeup was smudged horribly.

“I can’t.” He whispered, tears forming in his eyes.


Andy’s Point of View

“I can’t.” I whispered. I felt tears building up in my eyes again and I angrily wiped them away.

“But why?” Ashley pleaded. “I just want to understand what I did wrong.”

I shook my head. How was I supposed to tell him what he did wrong and how much he hurt me without telling him that I self harm?

“I can’t Ashley. I just…” I trailed off before shaking my head again. “You wouldn’t understand.”

He took a step towards me and took my hands.

“Try my baby. Please.” He said, clearly trying to hold back tears of his own.

“I can’t Ashes.” I whispered, looking into his brown eyes, begging for him to understand.

“But…” Ashley searched my face for a moment and sighed, gripping my hands tighter. “Okay. I guess I can understand. I don’t want to push you into something you don’t want to do, especially because I obviously fucked things up enough already today. Just tell me when you’re ready, okay? I want to be there for you baby.”

I sighed and squeezed his hands. “I know Ashley. I know. Just this… This I can’t tell you. I wish I could, but I can’t.”

Ashley pulled me into a hug, my head resting on his head. “Okay baby. I understand.”

After about a minute, he pulled away from the hug and leaned in to kiss me. I kissed him back
willingly, missing the feeling of his lips against mine, but as I moved my lips with his, only one thing ran through my mind:

The feeling of Jinxx’s breath on my face as he moved in to kiss me not even five minutes ago.


Time Lapse: Three days to Saturday morning

The rest of the week passed uneventfully, and therefore, extremely slowly. Justin didn’t bother us at all except for the rare insults as we passed him in the hallway. That had made me extremely happy and I had thought he had decided we weren’t worth him getting in any more trouble, until Ashley had pointed out that it was probably just because since his suspension, the teachers had been watching him closely to make sure he didn’t cause any more trouble.

I had forgiven Ashley for the most part, even though I was still pissed right off about his opinion on self-harmers. Jinxx, on the other hand, was less forgiving. He still thought that Ashley was a judgmental dick and that I shouldn’t be with someone like that. I hadn’t listened to Jinxx of course, Ashley made me happy, but it still sucked that one of my best friends thought that about my boyfriend.

Things between Jinxx and myself weren’t good either. I don’t mean that things were awkward; I mean that things between us were exactly opposite. Reason why that wasn’t a good thing? I have a boyfriend. Even though I’m dating Ashley Purdy, Jinxx and I had clearly been flirting all week since we almost kissed in the bathroom stall. I don’t know why, but Jinxx made me feel extremely safe, wanted, and loved. Yes, Ashley made me feel all those things too, but on a lesser level. Jinxx knew about most of my flaws, yet he still cared. If Ashley knew those things about me, I didn’t know if he would still want to be with me or not. That was the major reason I flirted with Jinxx despite the fact I was with Ashley. That was the reason why I thought about kissing Jinxx whenever I kissed Ashley. And I hated myself for it.

I fluttered open my eyes and moaned loudly. I pulled the covers back over my head and sighed.
Who the fuck was calling me this early in the morning? I sighed, rolled over so that I was on my back, and grabbed my phone from underneath the pillow.

“Hello?” I asked, my voice still heavy with sleep.

“Hey baby.” Ashley said from the other end. He sounded cheerful and excited, which made me grumpy. I hated morning people.

“Hey.” I replied. “Why are you calling me so early in the morning?”

“Uh, Andy. It’s 2:00 in the afternoon.” He said with a laugh.

“Yeah.” I replied shortly. “Early.”

“Sorry,” Ashley said, giving out a small laugh. “But I’m going to have to make you get up.”

I groaned loudly. “Whhhhhhhhy?” I whined.

“Because I’m taking you out! We’re going to the mall and then dinner.”

“Why?” I asked, knowing I sounded a bit rude. I didn’t care though, I was tired and in a bad mood.

Ashley however, ignored my tone and laughed. “Because silly!” He suddenly got serious. “I owe it to you. After what happened Wednesday.”

“You don’t owe me anything Ashes. I forgave you.” I responded, rolling over with a sigh. I sat on the edge of my bed, my feet resting against the cold wooden floor.

“I know, but I didn’t forgive myself, and neither did Jinxx. I know I don’t know what I did, but I must have done something really horrible. I need to make it up to you.”

I sighed. “Fine. What time do I need to be ready at?”

Ashley let out an excited yelp, causing me to pull the phone away from my ear. I giggled.

“Fuck Ashes. Do you want me to go deaf?” I asked.

“Sorry,” He said laughing. “Can you be ready in an hour?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay good! I’ll be there in an hour. My mum is letting me borrow her car so I’ll pick you up.”

“Sounds good.” I responded. I was glad that he was driving. I didn’t feel like doing anything today, especially walking, and I knew that he wouldn’t have let me drive anyway.

“See you soon, Bright Eyes.”

“Bye Ashes.” I responded, hanging up and gently tossing my phone on the bed beside me. I sat staring out my window for five minutes before heaving myself up with a sigh and making my way towards the bathroom.

I was showered and dressed in half an hour, so that gave me half an hour to finish my hair and makeup. I had decided that despite the fact that I felt like shit, I wanted to look my best. I spent 20 minutes doing my makeup so that my foundation was perfectly blended, and my eyeliner was applied with precision and was the correct thickness. While I was doing my makeup, I suddenly got really excited about spending the day with Ashley so instead of doing my usual light layer of black eye shadow, I did a kind of smoky eye look that looked beautiful with my blue eyes.

My hair only took eight minutes to do, which really surprised me. For the short amount of time I took on it, it looked really good. I was looking at myself in the mirror, actually quiet pleased with how I looked for the first time in a long time when my phone started ringing. I took one last look in the mirror and walked over to pick up my phone.

“Hey baby!” I said cheerfully. Laughter came from the other end.

“Uh, hey Andy. It’s Sandra.”

Fuck.

“Oh, sorry.” I muttered, embarrassed. “I thought you were Ashley.”

“I know.” Sandra said, a hint of anger and sadness in her otherwise happy tone.

“Sorry.” I said again. “So, what’s up?”

“It’s Saturday buddy.” She said with a laugh.

“Uh, yeah?” I said, still not understanding. Then it dawned on me. “Oh, shit. Band practice.”

“Yeaaaah. We decided to meet at Jake’s house at 2:30 and it’s nearly 3:00. Where are you?”

I sighed. “I totally forgot about band practice. I don’t know where my head has been this past week.” I muttered.

“That’s okay, just come on over now?”

“I can’t.”
“Uh, why?” Sandra asked.

“I made plans with Ashley today. We’re going out.” I responded quietly. The only reply was silence. “Sandra?”

“What?” She asked harshly.

“I’m sorry. I just totally forgot.”

“Whatever Andy. You know, I remember there was a point in time when this band and your friends were actually fucking important to you.”

“The fuck are you talking about?” I asked, getting defensive. “The band is important to you, and I care about my friends more than I care about myself.”

Sandra snorted into the phone. “Bullshit. We need to practice if this band is ever going to get anywhere. We’ve only practice like, once this whole month because of your whole mental break down because of Scout.” She hissed.

“Oh yeah. Bringing up Scout. Really low blow there Sandra. You know how much I cared about her. We were dating for three years.”

“You know, I don’t really give a shit. Remember why you called the band ‘Black Veil Brides’?” She asked. It was my turn to snort into the phone and I was about to reply when she cut me off.

“It’s because when you’re in the band, the band and it’s members become one of the most important things in your life. But you let Scout interfere with that. You totally tossed the band to the side for her.” Sandra hissed.

I didn’t know what to say so I didn’t say anything. She didn’t take my silence too kindly.

“And you’re fucking doing it again with Ashley! But at least with Scout you didn’t forget about us as well as the band.”

“I didn’t forget about you guys!” I nearly shouted into the phone.

“Yes you did!” She screamed. “We haven’t hung out properly in ages! Not like we used to!
You’ve always been way to fucking busy with Ashley. You know what Andy? I’m done. I waited for you, tried to understand you, but I can’t anymore. I just can’t. I’m done.”

With that, she hung up the phone. I didn’t even have time to process the conversation when my phone started ringing again.

“What the fuck do you want?” I asked harshly, thinking it was Sandra calling back.

“Uh, I was just calling to let you know I’m here…” Ashley responded.

“Oh God, I’m sorry.” I whispered. “I thought you were Sandra.”

“Like, your best friend Sandra? Why would you answer the phone like that for her?”

“We got into a fight not even a minute before you phoned. She hung up on me and I thought you were her calling me back. I don’t want to get into details.”

“Oookay.” Ashley responded, dragging out the word. “Well I’m here Bright Eyes, so hurry your butt up.”

I laughed, starting to feel excited again. “I’m ready. I just need to grab my wallet.”

“Okay, see you soon!”

“Okay.” I said before hanging up. I quickly stuffed my phone in my pocket and grabbed my wallet from my dresser. I checked myself in the mirror again before double-checking I had everything I need.

“Phone, iPod, jacket, wallet…” I muttered to myself. Once satisfied that I hadn’t forgotten anything, I exited my room and closed the door behind me. I walked down the hall to my parent’s bedroom where I knew my dad would be watching TV. I knocked softly on the door.

“Yup.” I heard him call from the other side. I poked my head in.

“Hey, I’m going out for a bit.” I said. Dad looked away from the TV.

“Date?” He jokingly asked, taking in my carefully applied makeup and hair.

I let out a fake, uncomfortable laugh. “No, just going to hang out with Ashley at the mall. I probably wont be home for dinner.”

“Alright. Can you text your mum to let her know?”

I nodded. “See you later.”

“Have fun.” Dad said, turning back to the TV.

I closed the door behind me and rushed down the stairs. I paused by the front door to pull on my black pair of converse and walked out the door, quickly locking it behind me. Ashley was parked in my driveway, head down, playing a game on his phone. He saw me and waved. I waved back and smiled.

“Hey.” Ashley said, rolling down the window.

“Hey.” I responded with a big smile. “Do you mind if I have a smoke really quick?”

He nodded, frowning slightly. I knew he disapproved of my bad habit, but he never said anything about it.

“Awesome.” I said, pulling out my pack from my jacket. Ashley went back to his game as I lit a cigarette and shoved my pack back into my jacket.

“So why are we going to the mall?” I asked, breathing in my smoke. Ashley smiled and paused his game.

“I was thinking… I really like how you look in long sleeves, but you have such a beautiful body. Plus it’s getting warm out. So, I really want to buy you some short sleeved shirt.” He replied with a grin.

Shit. Fuck. Mother fucking shit.
My smile faded and I felt a chill run up my spine. “Y-you… You don’t need to do that Ashley.
Really. I really like my long sleeves.” I stuttered.

“I know, but you’re always wearing long sleeves! Plus it’s getting warmer out. Please Andy?”

“Uh… I don’t know Ashes.” I whispered.


Ashley’s Point of View

Despite Andy’s protest of me buying him clothes all the way to the mall, I dragged him into my favourite store.

“Andy, come on. I think you’d look really good in short sleeves!” I said happily, picking out a couple. “You’re probably a medium because of how tall you are?”

Andy shrugged. “I guess. But seriously Ashley, I don’t want anything.”

“Humour me,” I replied, giving him a couple shirts I had picked out. “Just try them on!”

Andy sighed heavily. “Fine. Just for you.” He said, giving me a pained smile.

“Good!” I said happily, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the change room.

“How many?” An employee asked Andy.

“Three.” He muttered. The girl nodded and led him over to the only change room left. I look around me.

“It’s busy today.” I commented to the employee.

“It’s always busy on Saturdays.” She replied with a laugh.

“There you are. Let me know if you need different sizes or anything.” She said, giving Andy a smile. He returned the smile after a moment and nodded.

After the girl walked away, Andy turned to me. “I really don’t want to try anything on.”

I sighed jokingly. “You already said you would baby. Pleeeease? For me?”

I pouted, looking up at him from under my fringe and he let out an exasperated groan.

“Fine. And that’s no fair Ashes, you know I can’t say no to your stupid pout.”

“I know!” I replied cheerfully. “Now get in there.”

Andy walked into the change room and closed the door.

“The lock is broken.” He said after a moment.

“Oh, well, I’ll just hold the door closed then.”

“Kay.”


Andy’s Point of View

I stood in front of the mirror, dropping the pile of clothes that Ashley picked out on the ground with a sigh. How the fuck was I going to avoid this one?

Just try them on, say you don’t like any of them, and then leave. I thought, nodding to myself. That could work.

I pulled my long sleeved shirt over my head, being extra careful as to not mess up my hair. I dropped my shirt on the ground and stared at my shredded arms in the mirror. Some of the cuts were still fresh, as I had cut myself again just a day or two ago. I sighed again and bent down to pick up a black short-sleeved shirt. I pulled it over my head and looked in the mirror.

I won’t lie; it actually looked really good on me. I felt a pang of guilt and sadness as I looked at myself in the mirror. I liked it, and desperately wished I could get it. I felt tears building up in my eyes and coughed.

“I don’t know Ash. I don’t like it.” I said.

“Well let me see!” Ashley replied from the other side of the door.

“No, don’t!” I protested, but it was too late. The door to the change room swung open.

I saw Ashley’s smile fade as he took in my arms. I saw the look of disgust form in his eyes that he wore when he saw Kina’s cuts.

“Andy.” He said harshly, pointing at my arms. “What the fucking hell is this? Are you… Do you… Do you fucking cut yourself?”


A/N: Another cliffhanger! Muahaha. I’m sorry, please don’t throw things at me. As always, please comment with your opinions! Comments make me a very happy writer. Seriously, I’m not even kidding. Whenever I get a comment I will show any one of my friends who will listen. :) I’m cool.
See you guys next chapter! xoxo