Ashley’s Point of View

I watched Andy nearly run away from our table and out of the courtyard. I watched him with a confused look on my face. I turned towards the guys and Sandra.

"Uh, what just happened?" I asked.

"Dunno." CC said. His mouth was full of food, but somehow he still managed to mirror my confused expression. I looked at Jake and Sandra, and they both shrugged. I looked at Jinxx, hoping that he would have the answer, but he refused to meet my eyes.

"Jinxx?" I asked slowly. "Did I do something wrong?"

Jinxx shrugged. “He…” He started, but then trailed off frowning.

"Uh, should I go talk to him?" I asked when Jinxx remained silent.

"No." Jinxx said coldly, suddenly standing up. He looked at me with accusing eyes. "Honestly Ashley, you’ve done enough damage already. I’ll go talk to him." And with one last cold look, he stalked off.

What the fuck?

I looked back at CC, Jake, and Sandra who were looking between Jinxx’s retreating figure and me.

"Uh… did I miss something?" He asked me. I shook my head, dumbstruck.

"Apparently we all did." I replied softly.


Andy’s Point of View

"He thinks I’m pathetic." I sobbed to Jinxx.
Five minutes ago, Jinxx had knocked harshly on the stall door, begging for me to open the door.

"Andy, please open the door." He had begged me. I had sniffed loudly and crawled over to the door, reaching up to unlock it before retreating back to leaning against the wall.

"Hi Jinxxy." I had said sadly, wiping my nose on the sleeve of my shirt.

"Oh thank fuck." He had muttered, dropping to his knees in front of me. "I thought you were cutting."

Now, he was sitting beside me on the cold, tiled floor, one arm wrapped around my shoulders as I cried heavily into his chest.

"He doesn’t…" Jinxx said, trailing off. His voice sounded doubtful, and I knew he was only saying that to try and make me feel better. It wasn’t working.

"Yes he does!" I cried while a new wave of tears poured down my face, soaking Jinxx’s shirt.

"He said that people who self harm are pathetic and are only doing it for attention!"

"Well he’s wrong." Jinxx said between clenched teeth. His anger towards Ashley suddenly made me mad. I pulled away from his friendly embrace and looked at him.

"Well of course he’s fucking wrong! I know I’m not an attention seeker, but the fact that we know he’s wrong doesn’t fucking solve anything." I nearly shouted.

"Andy, calm down." Jinxx said evenly, not even a little bit shocked at my random and seemingly sudden outburst. "What are you talking about?"

"I’m talking about the fact that just because we know he’s wrong doesn’t mean he realises he’s wrong. We know I’m not slicing my skin open for attention, that’s great. But so fucking what?" I replied, blatantly refusing to calm down. "Ash still thinks that everyone who cuts is an attention seeking idiot. How the fuck am I ever supposed to tell him that I self harm Jinxx? He won’t understand. He’ll just leave me and fucking hate me."

Jinxx sat in silence, looking down to his boots thoughtfully. I took a deep breath, and let it out in a loud sigh.

"He’s supposed to be my boyfriend, Jinxxy. He says he cares a lot about me. So how come he can’t see that I’m slowly falling apart?" I whispered.

Jinxx shook his head sadly and looked up at me. His eyes were filled with sadness and pity.

"Because you’re too good at pretending."


Ashley’s point of view

“Maybe I should go see if he’s okay.” I said suddenly, putting both my hands on the table in order to push myself up. Sandra reached across the table to stop me.

“No Ashley. Remember how he is sometimes. The best things to do is to just… Let him figure it out on his own.” She said softly.

I frowned. “But he’s my boy-“ I stopped myself when I saw Sandra’s face fall. I sighed; I didn’t want to seem like I was rubbing it in because I knew how much Sandra liked Andy, but he was my boyfriend, and I had to be there for him.

“I’m sorry guys. I’ll see you later.” I said softly as I gently pulled my arm away from Sandra’s and pushed myself up.

“Good luck Ashley.” I heard CC call from behind me. I paused and turned slightly, giving them a small smile and slightly awkward wave. I looked at Sandra, and she just gave me a small shrug before looking back down at her food.

I turned back around and started walking towards the bathroom. The short walk down the hall seemed so long, especially because the people I used to consider friends kept giving me dirty looks and calling me a ‘filthy faggot’. I tried to ignore it for the most part, but I knew I would be lying if I said that it didn’t somewhat bother me. No wonder Sandra, Jinxx, Jake, CC, and Andy were so bitter to everyone outside of their group; the constant negative attention fucking sucked. Although, I knew what I was getting myself into when I started hanging around with the Outcasts and started dating Andy, I never knew that the bullying would bother me as much as it did.

I turned around a corner and stopped dead in my tracks. There, leaning against a locker surrounded by a group of my old friends, was Justin.

“Fuck.” I whispered to myself. In my happiness, and then concern for what the fuck I did to upset Jinxx and Andy, I had completely forgotten that Justin was coming back today. I looked from Justin, who hadn’t noticed me yet, and the bathroom. As much as I wanted to avoid Justin, I wanted to comfort my boyfriend more. At the thought of Andy, I squared my shoulders and lifted my head high. I hadn’t even taken four steps before Justin’s grey eyes flickered in my direction, but then move back away. For a moment, I thought he was just going to completely ignore me, but then his eyes flashed back towards me and rested on my face.

Justin’s lips lifted in a snarl, but I kept walking, determined to pass him without conflict in order to get to Andy.

“Faggot.” Justin whispered as I passed him, but other than that, he made no other attempt to emotionally or physically hurt me.

I knew it wasn’t because he had changed, or that he just wants to drop things between us and pretend like I don’t exist. I knew better than that. It was only because it was lunch hour and the teachers that were monitoring the halls were watching him like a hawk due to his recent suspension. I knew that as soon things calmed down a bit, Justin would attack.
Despite the fact that fear tugged at my heart, I couldn’t help but laugh at the thought I just had.

“’Justin would attack?’” I quietly snickered to myself. “You’re making it seem like he’s some sort of monster and you’re his prey.”

But, a small part of my brain whispered. Maybe that’s exactly the situation you’re in. You’ve always known that Justin was a cold-hearted bully. Some would even say he’s a monster. And you’re his new target.


Jinxx’s Point of View

Holding Andy in my arms while he cried ripped my heart apart. He was one of my best friends, almost like a brother, and I hated to see him hurting. Each time he sniffled, I felt my heart tear a little more. And suddenly I just felt angry. Angry with Andy for doing this to himself, angry with myself for not noticing sooner, and angry with Ashley for being an ignorant fuck.

How could Ashley be so fucking stupid? How could he just go about his fucking life thinking that all people who self harm are just looking for attention? No one ever knew that I used to cut except for my counselor and now Andy. Only two fucking people know, so how could that possibly make me an attention whore?

As for Andy, I’m pretty sure I’m the only person who knows about his cutting. So if I’m the only person who knows about it, how the fuck does that make him an attention whore?
Andy’s sudden loud sob broke me from my thoughts. I pulled Andy closer to me in order to comfort him and he ended up crawling up onto my lap. He curled into a tight ball and held onto me for dear life, still sobbing relatively loudly. I rested my head upon his own and hugged him tighter, pulling him closer to my chest.

How could everyone be so blind? It was obvious how much Andy was hurting now that I knew, but why couldn’t we see it before? Why couldn’t I have been there for Andy before it got this bad?

I looked down at the sobbing figure curled up on my lap and frowned. It was no wonder Andy was in such a state, with Ashley saying all those things right in front of him. Ashley was supposed to be somewhere safe for Andy to go. Somewhere he could show his flaws without being judged or rejected because of them. But, as Andy had learned today, it seems that Ashley is just like everyone else.

A judgmental cunt.


Andy’s Point of View

Jinxx and I sat in silence for a while, him holding me tightly and me sobbing like an idiot. After a while, I calmed down and awkwardly climbed off Jinxx’s lap to sit beside him. I whipped my eyes and nose on my sleeves and looked at him through my fringe.

“Thanks Jinxxy.” I whispered. He shook his head.

“Don’t thank me Andy. I’m just being a good friend.”

I nodded and looked down at my hands. I sniffled and smiled softly.

“My makeup is probably ruined.” I laughed quietly.

Jinxx paused for a brief second and let out a loud laugh.

“Yeah,” He said, gently pushing my hair out of my eyes. “You look like shit Andy.”

That made me let out a laugh, a real laugh. “Thanks buddy,” I replied sarcastically.

“Anytime.” Jinxx whispered in reply. The smile faded from my lips when I realised that Jinxx’s hand was still cupping my cheek. I leaned into his warm hand, his fingers rough from playing his guitar, and I felt safe. Almost as safe as I feel when I’m with Ashley.

Jinxx started to slowly lean in, and I closed my eyes. I could feel him getting closer and I leaned in a bit myself, feeling his breath warming my face. We were inches away from pressing our lips together when we heard the bathroom door open and we jumped apart.

“Andy?” Ashley called softly.



A/N: PLOT TWIST. I’m sorry, don’t hurt me haha. Anyway! Feedback is always welcome, positive or negative. You have no idea how much it means to me when you guys comment. Seriously, I sit there staring at my computer screen smiling like an idiot and then I excitedly get my roommate to show her the comments. I’m such a loser. ANYWAY, see you guys next chapter! <3 xoxo
(Also, the reason I'm able to update so quickly is I've put this story up before on Wattpad and Tumblr, so when I found this site I decided to go ahead and put it up here too. I have currently written 27 chapters... So until I'm actually all caught up... You'll be getting multiple updates at a time. Sorry if this is annoying. xD)