Odessa stood there, her arms crossed over her chest, her sweater making her feel over heated and uncomfortable but fuck it-it was almost the end of September and she wanted to feel like it was truly fall. LA was in a warm pattern of 80 degrees and it was making Dess miss the cool Virginia nights even more. She looked out the window that sat above their kitchen sink and smiled softly as she remembered those fall mornings, picking out which sweater to wear to school, her boots kicking up leaves as she walked to the bus stop-her headphones blasting out whatever new CD she had been listening to obsessively.

She remembered how when she would get home from school, especially when Moira was younger and hadn’t started school yet, she would bundle the younger girl up and they would play out in the falling leaves for hours. She would get Moira in their old tire swing and push her until the young girl screeched with laughter, the gold, red and orange leaves falling down around them like snow. Their mother would call out to them from the back porch and they would giggle and run inside, where there would be hot cookies and hot chocolate waiting for them. At night, after their father had gotten home and the family ate dinner, they would sit in front of the fire place and listen as their father told them ghost stories or even silly stories. Dess missed those times and she sniffed loudly as she turned from the window and saw that Andy was now sitting at the kitchen table, his hand flying across a pad of paper.


“I thought you guys were done with the album?” She asked as she grabbed her mug from the counter and moved so that she was sitting across from him.

“Jon wants one more song and fuck if I can come up with anything else…” He grunted, tossing the pad over to her and Dess read over his words silently. It was forced-anyone would be able to tell that Andy’s heart wasn’t in these words and Dess looked up at him, her eyes kind.

“Well…it’s not your best work that’s for sure.” Dess was always honest with him and usually Andy loved that about her, but in his frustration he wished that this once she would placate him so he could pretend like he liked it and things would be over with. They needed to finish this record up-they were leaving for the desert in two weeks to film Legion of the Black and Andy knew Jon wanted this last song finished before then.

“…fuck.” He moved the pad of paper closer and Dess watched as Andy ran his fingers through his long hair, pushing his bangs out of his face as he tried to refocus.


Dess sipped at her hot chocolate and smiled as she looked around their apartment. She had spent two whole days decorating for Halloween-even though they were still a month off-it was her favorite holiday and she always had to go all out for it. She had pulled her orange and black twinkle lights out of storage and strung them all around the room and their front door was festive in its own right with an orange, purple and lime green wreath and caution tape covering almost the entire surface. Dess smiled as she remembered how much fun it was taking Moira trick-or-treating, but her memories were interrupted by her ringing phone. One look at the screen and Dess braced herself as she answered and held the phone up to her ear.


“Hello mother…”Dess knew her voice was less than enthusiastic but she was still very angry with her mother for trying to sell her childhood home so soon after Moira’s death.

“Odessa dear. How are you?” Her mother was trying to be nice and Dess could understand that-too bad she didn’t care.

“Drop the pleasantries mother-What. Do. You. Want?” Her voice was harsh and Dess heard her mother tsk into the phone quietly; Dess just rolled her eyes.

“The house has been sold Odessa. I was calling to let you know in case you wanted to see me for the holidays. I’m living with your Aunt Kitty now…” Dess felt the tears come to her eyes, angry tears that she knew would show in her voice.

“Well thank you for that mother. I think Andy and I were going to see his family this year…and the next twenty…” She grumbled the last part and Andy looked up from his writing, his eyes growing wide as he took in her scowl.

“Odessa, I only hope that one day you come to understand and we can move past this. I love you…” Her mother’s voice was sad, but Dess just shook her head, her hands shaking as she took another sip of her drink before speaking.

“I will never-ever-understand you mother. I’ll send you a card at Christmas…goodbye.” She hung up her phone quickly, setting it down on the table as she moved to place her head in her hands.


How? How could her mother actually go through with selling the only home that Dess had ever known? Sure, the apartment she shared with Andy was nice, but it wasn’t home. LA wasn’t Virginia and no matter how many sweaters she wore or how many decorations she put up for Halloween Dess knew-She would never feel the cold fall wind against her cheeks again. The anger roiled in her stomach and Dess, her hand still bandaged from her last outburst, reached out and grabbed the nearest thing she could reach and chucked it at the wall opposite from where she sat.

It felt good to break something and suddenly Odessa was up and moving around the room. She threw pillows, blankets and shoes all around her-knocking things from shelves and making the cats go running in her fury and suddenly Dess felt a pair of arms come from behind her, wrapping around her and pinning her own arms to her sides. She wiggled, grunting as she wanted to cause more destruction, but those arms just held her there, soft yet forceful enough so that she couldn’t move. She felt his lips graze over the side of her face and soon Dess was moving against him again, breaking free and moving towards the coffee table where there were more things for her to throw.


“Dess! Stop!” Andy shouted at her, his voice stern as Andy chased after her and finally he had her pinned against the wall nearest to the front door.


Odessa said nothing, her hands coming to her face as her back was up against the wall and she found herself sinking down until she was sitting on the floor. She covered her face, the tears landing in her hands as she cried, her knees tucked up against her chest and Dess knew that Andy was kneeling in front of her, but he kept his distance. She sat like that for a while, her back against the hard wall as she cried and mourned the loss of the final piece that had connected her family. To most it was only a house, but to Dess it was the only remaining thing she’d had from her old life. Her father was gone, taking Moira with him and Dess felt alone once again.


“What’s happened?” Andy asked her, his voice quiet and breaking the silence and she could only huff, removing her hands from her face as she looked into those blue eyes that she loved so very much.

“She sold it…” She couldn’t even finish her sentence before breaking out in to a fresh bout of tears.

“Who sold what?” He asked, his hands reaching out as he touched her cheeks softly, his thumbs rubbing underneath her eyes gently as he looked down at her, concern lacing his gorgeous features.

“My mother…our house…the only house I have ever known…she actually fucking sold it.” Andy winced as Dess hissed her words through her teeth and he moved in, his hands coming to rest on her back as he hugged her tightly to him. She burst into tears at his gesture and Andy felt terrible, but he could only bite back his words and try to calm her.

“I-I feel like I’ve lost everything babe…it’s all gone. I just stood there and watched as she got rid of the last remaining thing from our family. I’ve lost it all…” She sobbed against his chest, her voice laced with the pain and hurt that he knew only she could feel.

“Hey-you haven’t lost everything…not me. We all fall down sometimes…we just have to keep getting back up.” He held her and felt her trembling as she tried to take in shaky breaths here and there and suddenly things all clicked in Andy’s brain.

“I just never knew how much it meant to me…” She cried softly as Andy just kissed her gently on the top of her head and continued to hold her there, both of them sitting on the floor.


Andy was able to get Dess up off of the floor and onto the couch. He laid there with her while she continued to cry softly and he just felt entirely helpless. He wanted to say things-to make her pain go away, but now was neither the time nor the place and so he just held her. Finally she had exhausted herself and was mumbling quietly in her sleep. Andy watched her for awhile, kissing her eye lids as she smiled softly in her slumber and finally he moved her gently so that he could get up. He paced their apartment for a while, Crow dodging around his feet and finally Andy collapsed into a chair at the kitchen table.


“…that might work…” He said, chewing on the end of his pen as he began to write feverishly. He spent three hours there, writing furiously as he scratched things out and rewrote things and finally he was satisfied.


He sat there, humming to himself softly as the moon began to sink and the sun began to pop out from behind the hills. Andy knew-they had to record this right away and as he looked at the clock, seeing that it was nearly five in the morning, he made a rash decision and picked up his phone. He scrolled through, trying to decide who to call first: Jon Feldman or Jinxx? Andy wanted to talk to Jinxx, knowing in his head that the talented guitarist would have the perfect violin accompaniment to go with his words. But he also knew that Jon had been after him to get this done and so quickly he clicked on Jon’s name and held the phone up to his ear.


“Hello?” The tired voice asked on the other line after five rings and Andy sucked in a breath as he tried to keep his composure.

“It’s Andy…I’ve got it! I finally wrote the perfect song…”Jon grunted on the other end, clearing his throat as Andy glanced over to the couch to see if he had woken Dess up in all of his excitement.

“Okay…when do you want to work on it?” Jon seemed to be waking up and Andy bit down on his lip ring as he thought about how he wanted to word things.

“Right now. I have to get this out man…I’ll call Jinxx and the rest of the guys and we’ll meet you over at the studio…” Jon groaned on the other end and Andy felt his stomach sink.

“You’re the artist. I’ll pick up some coffee on my way and I’ll meet you guys over there as soon as I can.” With that Jon hung the phone up and Andy quickly walked out on to the balcony to begin making calls to all of his bandmates.


Jinxx was more than happy to meet up at the studio, but Andy soon realized that all of the other guys were not as enthusiastic. Ashley cursed him out, but agreed to go anyways once Andy promised to bring him a bottle of Jack. Jake was barely understandable on the other end, but Andy was pretty sure he heard the guitarist agree in the end. CC was, not shockingly, still awake and was all for coming in, as long as he could down a few more Monsters to keep himself up. As everything fell into place, Andy scrawled a hasty note to Dess, telling her that he had figured things out and needed to head to the studio earlier, but that he would be home as soon as possible. He placed his note, kissing the paper softly, right near her coffee mug where he knew she would see it when she woke in the morning.

As Andy drove down the freeway towards the studio he thought back on the album that they were almost done creating. Not every song on the album was written with Moira’s death in mind, but the overall theme was with her in mind, along with Dess. He loved this record and was excited that they had actually been able to make a concept record work for them since that was not something that they had ever tried before. Soon enough the movie would be shot and the guys would only have the holiday season to rest before it would be time to tour again.

Finally Andy pulled into the lot outside of the studio and saw that everyone had gotten there before him, but then again they all lived closer into the city than he did. As he walked up the sidewalk, his notebook held under his arm, Andy felt shaky and nervous. What if they didn’t like it? He didn’t want to waste anyone’s time but he knew-this was it.

The final piece to the puzzle and they had to like it…they just had to.


“So Biersack…let’s hear this masterpiece.” Jon smirked up at the singer as Andy walked into the room and saw that all of his bandmates were huddled together on the couch. Andy looked to Jinxx and the violinist got up and came over to him.


They all sat around, pow-wowing about the new song and soon they had a rough idea of what everything needed to sound like. Andy hummed the melody for Jinxx, who developed a violin accompaniment and from that Jake came up with some stuff on the guitar. Ash and CC were over in the corner, talking bass and drums and it was decided by the two that this song didn’t need a lot, but it would need some underlying bass sound. Andy got in the booth at around 9 in the morning and began to lay down the vocal tracks. Everyone watched him in silence until finally after seventeen takes he exited the booth-everything had fallen into place.


“And what are we calling this song of yours?” Jon asked, his chair spinning to face Andy who just looked at him, a confident look gleaming in his eyes as his tired voice spoke out and he smiled softly.

“Lost It All…”

Notes

Well kids this is almost it-one more chapter to go and We Caught Fire will be done. This chapter is one of my personal favorites-so I hope you guys liked it as much as I do.
Please read and review-when you can-I understand that some of you are unable to review every chapter, but if you want to send me one massive review when you can I still appreciate it.
What It Is To Burn will be posted either wednesday or thursday depending on how busy I am on wednesday getting ready to see BVB on thursday <3

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