We Caught Fire
My Immortal
I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
“Dess!” Odessa turned as she heard her little sister squealing behind her and she just rolled her eyes. God twelve year olds could be so annoying.
“What Moira?” She growled back as she turned to her vanity mirror and tried in vain to get her eyeliner right.
“Can I come with you to Warped Tour today?” The smaller girl asked and Odessa turned to face her sister. She was dressed in a Justin Timberlake shirt and jean shorts and Dess just grinned. They would eat her alive if she went to Warped dressed like that.
“Not this year…”Odessa said, her fingers pushing her newly dyed purple hair behind her ears as she turned back to finish getting ready.
“Please?!” The smaller girl whined and Dess felt her aggravation grow.
“You don’t even like this kind of music…” She sighed as she saw that Moira’s bottom lip was pouting out.
“So. I just want to hang out with you…” She whined again and finishing up her makeup, Dess turned and headed out of the room.
“I know…we’ll work on your taste in music tomorrow. K?” She said sweetly, ruffling Moira’s hair as she headed down the stairs where her friends were waiting.
Odessa knew that Moira idolized her and she loved her little sister, but sometimes her presence could be exhausting.
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
“How are you feeling today Moira?” Odessa asked into the phone as she watched Andy smoke a cigarette from their balcony.
“Tired. My hair is starting to really fall out now…I might have to shave it.” Dess could hear the tears in Moira’s voice and her heart sunk.
“I’m sorry honey…I know how much you love your hair, but it’ll grow back.” She’d meant to sound hopeful, but anymore these days none of them felt very hopeful at Moira’s recovery.
“Change of subject…How’s Mr. Sexy Rockstar? Any more naughty trysts on your sketch table?” Dess blushed and she could just imagine that big ass grin coming across her sister’s face right now.
“He’s very good. He misses you though…he has no one to gang up on me with.” She laughed and smiled at Moira’s soft giggle.
“Eh, hold on…” Odessa could hear retching in the background and she knew that Moira was getting sick.
“You okay?” She asked as she heard Moira breathing into the phone once again.
“Eh…some days are better than others. How’s Jolly Old England?” Dess rolled her eyes at Moira’s swift change of subject.
“It’s good…things seem to have calmed down with the fans. For now at least.” There was an uncomfortable silence on the other end and Dess cleared her throat.
“We might be coming for a visit this summer. The guys are touring with Motely Crue, but then they’re off to work on the album. Andy really wants to see you.” She heard Moira sigh and she knew what was coming.
“Dess…I may not even live to see the spring time. Look I gotta go. Love you and tell Androo I said hey.” There was a click on the other end and Dess sobbed as she placed her phone back on the small table. It broke her heart to hear that Moira was pretty much signing her own death certificate.
There was nothing she could do to make things better at this point and Odessa felt so completely lost and helpless.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
“Ow! Dess that fucking hurt!” Moira whined as she rubbed her scalp where Odessa had just finished cutting her hair and had accidentally poked her with the scissors.
“Don’t be such a baby. You wanted this…now hold still.” The older girl snarled as she continued to cut at her sister’s newly dyed black hair.
“How does it look?” Moira asked as she tried to sneak a peek but Dess just blocked her way.
“Like you got in to a fight with the lawn mower. Where did you see this hair style anyways?” Dess asked as Moira just rolled her eyes.
“Andy Sixx! How many times Dess?! Black Veil Brides!” Odessa just laughed as she moved to cut Moira’s bangs and the younger girl poked her in the side.
“Whatever…How are things at school?” She asked, changing the subject.
“Shitty…I got in to it with Chelsea again. She called me worthless and demented.” Moira felt the hot tears come to her eyes as she looked down at her new Black Veil Brides shirt.
“That girl is such a stain. Why don’t you just not wear their shirts if all it does is cause you to get picked on?” Dess asked as she moved her eyes down to glance at the shirt her sister was wearing. She wore the same band shirts, from the same band, and all it seemed to do was cause Moira to get picked on.
“I’m proud to like this band and fuck anyone else who can’t handle that.” Moira said, her fingers wiping the tears from her eyes before Dess noticed. Too late.
“Hey. There is nothing wrong with liking something or being passionate about something. If this chick gives you anymore shit you come to me. Got it?” Dess reached out, her fingers wiping at Moira’s cheeks as she smiled at her younger sister.
“Misfits for life?” The younger girl asked as she held out her pinky.
“Misfits for life babe…” Dess linked her pinky with her younger sister’s and finally moved out of the way so that the younger girl could see her new hair cut. The girl giggled loudly as Moira fangirled over her hair and Dess just stood by and watched, wishing that she could feel that free once again.
You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face – it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice – it chased away all the sanity in me
“Do you ever think about dad?” Dess looked over at her little sister, the firelight danced across her skin as she and Moira laid on the floor in their livingroom.
“All the time. You?” Dess asked as Moira looked to her, the younger girl looked like she was about to cry.
“Same. I wonder what he would think of all of this.” Dess knew that Moira was still denying how sick she really was, but they all knew…they’d been through this before.
“He would probably tell you to be a fighter, not a quitter. Remember when he used to say that to me when he tried to get me to join soccer? God that was so embarrassing.” Dess laughed as she turned to lay on her side and face her younger sister.
“So where’s lover boy?” The younger girl asked, her eyes devilish and Dess blushed.
“Upstairs in bed.”
“Not going to join him?” Moira wiggled her eyebrows and Dess reached out and shoved her shoulder lightly.
“Shut up. Jealous much?” The younger girl looked away then, her eyes filled with sadness.
“I wish someone loved me the way Andy loves you…” Dess felt her heart go out to the younger girl and she reached out, her hand grasping Moira’s tightly.
“I’m sure there is someone out there for you…”
“Yeah…maybe in heaven.”
“Don’t talk like that Moira…”
“Don’t deny you won’t miss me sis…I’m irreplaceable.” The younger girl looked to her older sister and smirked.
“I know…that’s what I’m scared of.” Both girls cried then, their tears dancing on their cheeks in the soft firelight as they held one another.
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
“Moira come back here!” Dess called up the drive way as her little sister rushed past her.
“Leave me alone!” Moira shouted over her shoulder as she threw her bag to the ground and sat down on the steps.
“What happened? Why is your shirt ripped? What the fuck happened to your face?!” Dess finally saw that Moira had cuts on her cheeks and one of her eyes was swelling.
“Chelsea and her band of skanks decided that today was the day.” Moira wiped at her lip, the taste of blood filling her mouth as she looked up at her older sister.
“Fuck that! I’m going over there!” Dess began to storm off towards her car, but Moira was able to wrap her arms around Dess’ waist.
“Just leave it be sis.” Her voice was small and Dess was confused at her calmness in this situation.
“No! Fuck that!” Dess was so pissed, but Moira just held on.
“Look…I can live with this. It’s only for another few years and then I’m free from all of their hate. I’ve grown from it actually.” Moira smiled up at her sister and Dess just rolled her eyes.
“That sounds like something your Andy Sixx would say.” Moira giggled at the thought of her hero.
“He says stuff like that a lot. Now just chill. I need to go wash up.” Moira removed her arms from Dess’ waist and headed inside.
“You won’t listen to me…maybe you’ll listen to this savior of yours!” She laughed after her younger sister and followed her in to the house.
“You should give him a chance…you’d probably really like some of the stuff he has to say.” Moira said from the kitchen sink and Dess just laughed as she sunk down into a chair at the table.
“Right. I should listen to a guy who screams in to a microphone for a living and does his makeup better than I do.” Dess rolled her eyes and watched as Moira cleaned herself up.
“You like their song Perfect Weapon…you should give them a chance.”
“Yeah, well I guess we’ll have to wait and see.”
“Yeah…yeah we will.” Moira finished cleaning up and came to join Dess at the table.
They laughed as she went over her fight and Dess felt proud to know that Moira never backed down from anything. Hopefully she never would.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
“I can’t believe it’s time for you to go Moira.” Dess felt the tears come to her eyes as she hugged her sister one last time.
“Yeah well…I gotta get back home so mom has a reason to bitch at me again.” The smaller girl laughed and pulled her bag up her onto her shoulder more.
“Don’t let her push you around Moira…I never did.” Dess laughed as the younger girl smirked up at her.
“I don’t. I think she’s happy though that my hair has stayed one color this entire time.” At that Moira fluffed the back of her now shorn hair and a sadness crept across her face.
“Hey, no denying I had style back then…” Dess laughed as she placed a hand on Moira’s shoulder and kissed her forehead lightly.
“Dess?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m kind of scared to go back home…” Moira’s eyes began to water and she sucked in a ragged breath.
“Why?” Dess asked as she reached in to her purse and pulled out a tissue.
“Because I know when I get home…things are only going to get worse.” Dess knew what Moira meant now-she was to start all of her treatments once she got home and they were only going to make things worse.
“Well I’m here for you, always. Misfits for life right?” She laughed, the older girl holding out her pinky to her younger sister.
“Misfits for life. Forever.” The two girls stood there in the airport, their pinkies linked and all they could do was smile.
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
“Moira…I know you can hear me from wherever you are…” Dess felt her knees knock into the stand that her sister’s coffin was resting on and she winced.
“…I miss you so much Monkey. You know the entire band showed up to come today? I wish you were here to see them one last time.” Dess looked down at her sister and she smiled, of course Moira would be smirking even in death.
“Andy’s here…I know he’s getting frustrated with me over all of this and I have been pushing him away. But I’ve already lost you, I can’t imagine what would happen if I lost him too. Maybe things would be better if I was alone…” She felt the hot tears come to her eyes and Dess just choked them down.
“I know you’re with dad and I know he’s probably ashamed at how I’ve been acting, but I’m starting to realize that maybe I’ve always been alone and I probably always will be.” Dess reached out, her lips touching Moira’s soft cheek gently as she gazed down at this once vibrant girl.
“You’ll always be my Misfit Monkey…forever.” With that Dess stood and walked over to the front row and sat down.
Before sitting, Dess caught Andy’s eyes as he began to walk down toward the coffin. He looked scared and she knew that this was hard on him. He had never lost anyone before and he didn’t seem to know how to handle it. He smiled at her, mouthing a soft ‘I love you’ to her and Dess felt something in her break.
Maybe she wasn’t destined to be a lone after all.
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
“Dess!” Odessa turned as she heard her little sister squealing behind her and she just rolled her eyes. God twelve year olds could be so annoying.
“What Moira?” She growled back as she turned to her vanity mirror and tried in vain to get her eyeliner right.
“Can I come with you to Warped Tour today?” The smaller girl asked and Odessa turned to face her sister. She was dressed in a Justin Timberlake shirt and jean shorts and Dess just grinned. They would eat her alive if she went to Warped dressed like that.
“Not this year…”Odessa said, her fingers pushing her newly dyed purple hair behind her ears as she turned back to finish getting ready.
“Please?!” The smaller girl whined and Dess felt her aggravation grow.
“You don’t even like this kind of music…” She sighed as she saw that Moira’s bottom lip was pouting out.
“So. I just want to hang out with you…” She whined again and finishing up her makeup, Dess turned and headed out of the room.
“I know…we’ll work on your taste in music tomorrow. K?” She said sweetly, ruffling Moira’s hair as she headed down the stairs where her friends were waiting.
Odessa knew that Moira idolized her and she loved her little sister, but sometimes her presence could be exhausting.
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
“How are you feeling today Moira?” Odessa asked into the phone as she watched Andy smoke a cigarette from their balcony.
“Tired. My hair is starting to really fall out now…I might have to shave it.” Dess could hear the tears in Moira’s voice and her heart sunk.
“I’m sorry honey…I know how much you love your hair, but it’ll grow back.” She’d meant to sound hopeful, but anymore these days none of them felt very hopeful at Moira’s recovery.
“Change of subject…How’s Mr. Sexy Rockstar? Any more naughty trysts on your sketch table?” Dess blushed and she could just imagine that big ass grin coming across her sister’s face right now.
“He’s very good. He misses you though…he has no one to gang up on me with.” She laughed and smiled at Moira’s soft giggle.
“Eh, hold on…” Odessa could hear retching in the background and she knew that Moira was getting sick.
“You okay?” She asked as she heard Moira breathing into the phone once again.
“Eh…some days are better than others. How’s Jolly Old England?” Dess rolled her eyes at Moira’s swift change of subject.
“It’s good…things seem to have calmed down with the fans. For now at least.” There was an uncomfortable silence on the other end and Dess cleared her throat.
“We might be coming for a visit this summer. The guys are touring with Motely Crue, but then they’re off to work on the album. Andy really wants to see you.” She heard Moira sigh and she knew what was coming.
“Dess…I may not even live to see the spring time. Look I gotta go. Love you and tell Androo I said hey.” There was a click on the other end and Dess sobbed as she placed her phone back on the small table. It broke her heart to hear that Moira was pretty much signing her own death certificate.
There was nothing she could do to make things better at this point and Odessa felt so completely lost and helpless.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
“Ow! Dess that fucking hurt!” Moira whined as she rubbed her scalp where Odessa had just finished cutting her hair and had accidentally poked her with the scissors.
“Don’t be such a baby. You wanted this…now hold still.” The older girl snarled as she continued to cut at her sister’s newly dyed black hair.
“How does it look?” Moira asked as she tried to sneak a peek but Dess just blocked her way.
“Like you got in to a fight with the lawn mower. Where did you see this hair style anyways?” Dess asked as Moira just rolled her eyes.
“Andy Sixx! How many times Dess?! Black Veil Brides!” Odessa just laughed as she moved to cut Moira’s bangs and the younger girl poked her in the side.
“Whatever…How are things at school?” She asked, changing the subject.
“Shitty…I got in to it with Chelsea again. She called me worthless and demented.” Moira felt the hot tears come to her eyes as she looked down at her new Black Veil Brides shirt.
“That girl is such a stain. Why don’t you just not wear their shirts if all it does is cause you to get picked on?” Dess asked as she moved her eyes down to glance at the shirt her sister was wearing. She wore the same band shirts, from the same band, and all it seemed to do was cause Moira to get picked on.
“I’m proud to like this band and fuck anyone else who can’t handle that.” Moira said, her fingers wiping the tears from her eyes before Dess noticed. Too late.
“Hey. There is nothing wrong with liking something or being passionate about something. If this chick gives you anymore shit you come to me. Got it?” Dess reached out, her fingers wiping at Moira’s cheeks as she smiled at her younger sister.
“Misfits for life?” The younger girl asked as she held out her pinky.
“Misfits for life babe…” Dess linked her pinky with her younger sister’s and finally moved out of the way so that the younger girl could see her new hair cut. The girl giggled loudly as Moira fangirled over her hair and Dess just stood by and watched, wishing that she could feel that free once again.
You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face – it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice – it chased away all the sanity in me
“Do you ever think about dad?” Dess looked over at her little sister, the firelight danced across her skin as she and Moira laid on the floor in their livingroom.
“All the time. You?” Dess asked as Moira looked to her, the younger girl looked like she was about to cry.
“Same. I wonder what he would think of all of this.” Dess knew that Moira was still denying how sick she really was, but they all knew…they’d been through this before.
“He would probably tell you to be a fighter, not a quitter. Remember when he used to say that to me when he tried to get me to join soccer? God that was so embarrassing.” Dess laughed as she turned to lay on her side and face her younger sister.
“So where’s lover boy?” The younger girl asked, her eyes devilish and Dess blushed.
“Upstairs in bed.”
“Not going to join him?” Moira wiggled her eyebrows and Dess reached out and shoved her shoulder lightly.
“Shut up. Jealous much?” The younger girl looked away then, her eyes filled with sadness.
“I wish someone loved me the way Andy loves you…” Dess felt her heart go out to the younger girl and she reached out, her hand grasping Moira’s tightly.
“I’m sure there is someone out there for you…”
“Yeah…maybe in heaven.”
“Don’t talk like that Moira…”
“Don’t deny you won’t miss me sis…I’m irreplaceable.” The younger girl looked to her older sister and smirked.
“I know…that’s what I’m scared of.” Both girls cried then, their tears dancing on their cheeks in the soft firelight as they held one another.
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
“Moira come back here!” Dess called up the drive way as her little sister rushed past her.
“Leave me alone!” Moira shouted over her shoulder as she threw her bag to the ground and sat down on the steps.
“What happened? Why is your shirt ripped? What the fuck happened to your face?!” Dess finally saw that Moira had cuts on her cheeks and one of her eyes was swelling.
“Chelsea and her band of skanks decided that today was the day.” Moira wiped at her lip, the taste of blood filling her mouth as she looked up at her older sister.
“Fuck that! I’m going over there!” Dess began to storm off towards her car, but Moira was able to wrap her arms around Dess’ waist.
“Just leave it be sis.” Her voice was small and Dess was confused at her calmness in this situation.
“No! Fuck that!” Dess was so pissed, but Moira just held on.
“Look…I can live with this. It’s only for another few years and then I’m free from all of their hate. I’ve grown from it actually.” Moira smiled up at her sister and Dess just rolled her eyes.
“That sounds like something your Andy Sixx would say.” Moira giggled at the thought of her hero.
“He says stuff like that a lot. Now just chill. I need to go wash up.” Moira removed her arms from Dess’ waist and headed inside.
“You won’t listen to me…maybe you’ll listen to this savior of yours!” She laughed after her younger sister and followed her in to the house.
“You should give him a chance…you’d probably really like some of the stuff he has to say.” Moira said from the kitchen sink and Dess just laughed as she sunk down into a chair at the table.
“Right. I should listen to a guy who screams in to a microphone for a living and does his makeup better than I do.” Dess rolled her eyes and watched as Moira cleaned herself up.
“You like their song Perfect Weapon…you should give them a chance.”
“Yeah, well I guess we’ll have to wait and see.”
“Yeah…yeah we will.” Moira finished cleaning up and came to join Dess at the table.
They laughed as she went over her fight and Dess felt proud to know that Moira never backed down from anything. Hopefully she never would.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
“I can’t believe it’s time for you to go Moira.” Dess felt the tears come to her eyes as she hugged her sister one last time.
“Yeah well…I gotta get back home so mom has a reason to bitch at me again.” The smaller girl laughed and pulled her bag up her onto her shoulder more.
“Don’t let her push you around Moira…I never did.” Dess laughed as the younger girl smirked up at her.
“I don’t. I think she’s happy though that my hair has stayed one color this entire time.” At that Moira fluffed the back of her now shorn hair and a sadness crept across her face.
“Hey, no denying I had style back then…” Dess laughed as she placed a hand on Moira’s shoulder and kissed her forehead lightly.
“Dess?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m kind of scared to go back home…” Moira’s eyes began to water and she sucked in a ragged breath.
“Why?” Dess asked as she reached in to her purse and pulled out a tissue.
“Because I know when I get home…things are only going to get worse.” Dess knew what Moira meant now-she was to start all of her treatments once she got home and they were only going to make things worse.
“Well I’m here for you, always. Misfits for life right?” She laughed, the older girl holding out her pinky to her younger sister.
“Misfits for life. Forever.” The two girls stood there in the airport, their pinkies linked and all they could do was smile.
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
“Moira…I know you can hear me from wherever you are…” Dess felt her knees knock into the stand that her sister’s coffin was resting on and she winced.
“…I miss you so much Monkey. You know the entire band showed up to come today? I wish you were here to see them one last time.” Dess looked down at her sister and she smiled, of course Moira would be smirking even in death.
“Andy’s here…I know he’s getting frustrated with me over all of this and I have been pushing him away. But I’ve already lost you, I can’t imagine what would happen if I lost him too. Maybe things would be better if I was alone…” She felt the hot tears come to her eyes and Dess just choked them down.
“I know you’re with dad and I know he’s probably ashamed at how I’ve been acting, but I’m starting to realize that maybe I’ve always been alone and I probably always will be.” Dess reached out, her lips touching Moira’s soft cheek gently as she gazed down at this once vibrant girl.
“You’ll always be my Misfit Monkey…forever.” With that Dess stood and walked over to the front row and sat down.
Before sitting, Dess caught Andy’s eyes as he began to walk down toward the coffin. He looked scared and she knew that this was hard on him. He had never lost anyone before and he didn’t seem to know how to handle it. He smiled at her, mouthing a soft ‘I love you’ to her and Dess felt something in her break.
Maybe she wasn’t destined to be a lone after all.
Notes
O.OSo-yeah-this switches from the past to the almost present, so I hope it's not too confusing. I wanted to give you guys one last chapter with Moira and I felt like this song was perfect for Dess to sing as she said goodbye...
Please read and review because I love you guys to pieces.
Also check out A Demonic Love and give that poor story some love and attention.
We Caught Fire Tumblr
That was such a sweet ending!
12/27/14