Through Pain of Heart Or Loss of Mind
Chapter 3: Pain
AMELIA'S POV
I slowly opened my eyes to find my head on someone's chest rising and falling. Agh, my head was pounding and my body was aching. Any slight movement I made felt like hell. I gradually made my way to my feet, while almost tumbling over. Once I felt less hazy, I looked down to see Marcus snoring peacefully on the floor. I sighed. This guy was just so clueless. I mean seriously, I dressed up so nicely last night just for him! The best I got out of him last night (from what I can remember) was, "Oh, you look nice."... Maybe I was just reading him wrong. It's a possibility that he really wasn't interested and just saw me as a friend. But that didn't explain why he got nervous whenever I was around him... I huffed.
I made my way into the kitchen and grabbed a gallon of water out of the fridge. When I set the water down on the counter, a wave a nausea hit me. I hastily turned around and rushed to the bathroom. I was almost to the bathroom door when I stumbled and rammed into Jason's door. When I got my balance back in order, I made my way into the bathroom, getting more nauseous by the second. I arched over the toilet and held my hair back as the contents in my stomach emptied and filled the toilet.
MIRCEE'S POV
The abrupt sound of someone running into the door woke me up suddenly, and I sat up to lay right back down when the throbbing in my head became painful. I groaned and felt the haziness subside as I re-opened my eyes to find that I wasn't in my room. Looking around, I noticed my shorts on the floor and I panicked and looked down at my body. I still had my underwear on. I sighed in relief and I slowly shifted off of the bed, leaning on the bed before I stood up straight. I bent over and grabbed my black shorts from the floor and I looked around the room again and I realized that I was in Jason's room. He must've gone to work. I looked at the digital clock on his bedside table and saw that it was 10:46.
I moaned and held my head as I walked out of the room. I heard someone vomiting in the bathroom as I walked past it. I walked into the bathroom and saw Amelia on her knees leaning over the toilet. She'd stopped vomiting but her body had started dry heaving. I furrowed my brow and kneeled down next to her and rubbed her back.
"Damn girl... How are you feeling?" I said. She looked up from the toilet to face me, she looked exhausted.
"I feel like shit. How else would I feel?" She managed out before she keeled over again over the toilet, dry heaving.
"I'm sorry babes. Last night might've been a bit too much. We never usually drink that much." I said as I ran my fingers through her hair, trying to soothe her.
After awhile of constant dry heaving, Amelia stood up and washed off her face over the sink, while I looked in the medicine cabinet.
"I could really use something to ease this pain in my fucking head. Ugh..." She grunted.
"I've been looking in the cabinet but I don't see any Ibuprofen or Advil. But," I said grinning. She looked at me with an arched eyebrow, "I do have a little bit left of that green we didn't smoke. Just enough so we're feeling a bit numb." Her eyes lit up and she followed me to our room. I bent over to grab the red tin box under my side of the bed, and smirked as I opened it and grabbed the small, thin joint. We hadn't smoked in a while and I'd forgotten about this.
We headed outside to the patio that was part of our room and we sat on the two outdoor chairs. I grabbed the lighter we kept on the small side table and lit the joint. When I finally got it started, I took the first hit and then handed it to Amelia, coughing as I did. She started sucking in after she'd inhaled and handed it back to me as she coughed and a burst of smoke left her mouth. We passed it back and forth about three more times before there was about nothing left.
We went back into the room and I put the remains in my tin box and set it back under my bed. The high made the pain in my head numb and my eyelids felt heavy. It was pretty fucking nice. I looked over at Amelia who was standing behind me. I put my hand on her head and began running my fingers through her hair as she closed her eyes.
"Feel better?" I asked, smiling.
"Yeah, a hell of a lot better," She opened her eyes and grinned at me, "Oh hey, could we go out later? I wanna get some red hair dye."
"Oh yeah, sure." I smiled as I put my hand down and walked into the living room. I spotted Marcus sleeping on the floor and I walked over to him. I smirked and sat on his stomach. I watched his face as he grimaced and opened his eyes, looking up at me.
"What the hell are you doing?" He grunted.
"Hah. I just wanted to wake you up. You looked too damn peaceful, man," He rolled his eyes and pushed me off. He sat up and held his head in his hands, groaning, "By the way, we ran out of all the painkillers we had. Sorry, bud.".
"Agh, it's alright. I'll just go smoke a cig." As he got up, Amelia walked in with a toasted bagel. I hadn't noticed she'd gone into the kitchen.
"Hey, sleepy head. How ya feeling?" She asked him before taking a bite out of her bagel. It made me think of how hungry I was. Marcus just looked down at her and groaned again before walking off into our room to go out into the patio. I got up and walked into the kitchen. I heard the coffee maker gurgling and I grabbed a bagel and stuck it in the toaster.
Man, I hardly remembered anything that happened last night. Why was I in Jason's room? I hoped I hadn't said anything wrong. I sighed and looked down, leaning on the counter. Something on the floor caught my eye and I walked over and grabbed it. It was my black ADTR shirt. Why the hell was it on the floor?
The toaster sprang and interrupted my thoughts. I just shrugged and slipped the shirt on and grabbed the bagel out of the toaster. I poured myself a cup of coffee and put in sugar and cream. I went back into the living room where Amelia sat on the recliner watching TV. I sat down on the couch taking a bite out of my bagel.
"Hey, after you're done eating and getting ready you wanna head out to the mall?" Amelia asked. I nodded with a full mouth and hastily finished and rushed into the bathroom to take a shower. While I was in the shower, I heard the door open and close and then the sound of someone brushing their teeth. I assumed it was Amelia.
"Hey dude, can you get clothes ready for me so I can just put clothes on and we'll leave?" I asked. I heard her spit.
"Sure." I heard the door open and close again.
After about ten minutes, I got out and dried off, walking out wrapped in a towel. I walked into the bedroom and looked at the clothes Amelia had laid out for me on the bed. She'd picked out teal blue skinny jeans and my old black BVB shirt. Damn, I hadn't worn that shirt in a while. It made me smile thinking that I'd be meeting them soon. Well shit, it seems so unbelievable that I'll be meeting one of my inspirations for singing. They were actually one of the bands that inspired me and Amelia to start out a band. I smiled again and slipped on the shirt and pants. Amelia was waiting for me on the couch. As she saw me walking towards the door, she followed me and we walked out, locking the door. We went to the first floor of the apartment complex and went into our car in the parking lot. I sat in the driver's seat as Amelia sat in the passenger's seat, already plugging her iPhone in. I turned on the car and backed out.
"Hey, we're going to the mall, right?" I looked over at her. She was scrolling through Spotify, looking for a song to play from her playlist. She nodded and I turned on my blinker to turn right.
"Ooh, you're gonna like this one," she said as she set the phone down on her lap. It was The Legacy by Black Veil Brides. What the hell was up with her and Black Veil Brides today? I looked over at her to find her air guitaring while the intro played on. I arched an eyebrow, shrugging as I started to sing along. We hadn't listened to them in a while. It was actually really refreshing. When the guitar solo came on, I could see her air guitar again. I chuckled. It kinda reminded me of the old days.
FLASHBACK (2 years ago)
I was driving with Amelia in the passenger seat. I'd just gotten my license and we we're driving to the mall. We were listening to WCAR's album Understanding What We've Grown To Be and listening to the song that shared the same name. It was one of my favorite songs by them and I was singing along as Amelia and I mouthed the screaming parts. I couldn't scream for shit and neither could she. My favorite part was coming up.
Tonight
When I look into the sky
I'll know this is why I am alive
Tonight
When I look into the sky
I'll know this is why i am alive
So sing with me if you feel this feeling
I dramatically held my hand up as I sang and had a fake pained expression on my face. I heard Amelia laugh as the song ended and she paused the music.
"Hey, you know I've been thinking about something lately." She said as she looked over at me.
"What is it?" I asked curiously.
"I know it's your dream to start a band and everything. So why don't we start one? I mean Jason's a guitarist. I'm sure he'd be down for joining us."
"Jason's already happily in a band and anyway you know that'd be hard for us to do right now." I glanced over at her. She was looking down, fumbling with her hands.
"I know but... I'd really like to do this Mirc. It'd be nice to just channel everything out through music and you know that I've been getting pretty good at bass." I saw her look at me from the corner of my eye and I looked over at her. Her eyes were pleading. We'd been going through so much just the past month. Amelia had been brutally abused by her drunk of a father and she ran away from home. She'd moved in with me and my parents but the problems didn't end there. Her boyfriend had cheated on her after two years of being together. All the pain suffocated her. I'd caught her one night harming herself... I had ended up cutting myself right in front of her, telling her if she ever did it again that I would harm myself as well. She'd stopped after that, promising she'd never do it again. She didn't like seeing me in pain just as much as I didn't like seeing her that way. After that she started practicing her bass again, channeling her pain and anger through the deep strums of the bass guitar.
I glanced at her wrist to see the two light pink scars. I glanced down at mine, the single scar sending shivers down my spine. I looked back up at the road and sighed.
"If it means that you'll be happier than I guess we should. And really thinking about it, it'd be nice to do something new for a change," I said, grinning, "I'll call Jason tonight and talk to him about it, but like you said he'll probably say yes."
"Mircee... thank you so fucking much."
I can see her smiling from the corner of my eye and I could faintly hear her sob. She was holding back tears. I chuckled.
"Don't thank me, darling. I just wanna see you happy."
END OF FLASHBACK
We were almost to the mall and Vices by Memphis May Fire was playing. Amelia reached over and turned down the music.
"Dude, can you even believe that we're gonna be meeting all these bands! Our fucking idols and inspirations! I mean damn, I would've never thought the day would come that we'd get to meet and chill with them! It's just a plus that some of them are pretty fuckin' hot!" She and I laughed as I parked. I turned off the car and we got out. We walked towards the mall.
"Don't you have an eye on Marcus at the moment?" I asked. She'd been talking about it for the past month or so.
"Ugh, dude that's coming up as a lost cause. We're just completely different, personality wise. It's hard to have a conversation when he's awkward and nervous the whole time. Besides, I think I know someone I'd be good for," She smirked and I knew who she was going to bring up, "You know C.C.'s been lookin' pretty good lately." She had this look on her face like "Oh yeah, I'd tap that." as she nodded. I laughed as I shook my head.
"Dude, you're freshly 19 and he's like 28." I looked at her and she rolled her eyes.
"So? It's legal."
I laughed as we walked into the mall.
I slowly opened my eyes to find my head on someone's chest rising and falling. Agh, my head was pounding and my body was aching. Any slight movement I made felt like hell. I gradually made my way to my feet, while almost tumbling over. Once I felt less hazy, I looked down to see Marcus snoring peacefully on the floor. I sighed. This guy was just so clueless. I mean seriously, I dressed up so nicely last night just for him! The best I got out of him last night (from what I can remember) was, "Oh, you look nice."... Maybe I was just reading him wrong. It's a possibility that he really wasn't interested and just saw me as a friend. But that didn't explain why he got nervous whenever I was around him... I huffed.
I made my way into the kitchen and grabbed a gallon of water out of the fridge. When I set the water down on the counter, a wave a nausea hit me. I hastily turned around and rushed to the bathroom. I was almost to the bathroom door when I stumbled and rammed into Jason's door. When I got my balance back in order, I made my way into the bathroom, getting more nauseous by the second. I arched over the toilet and held my hair back as the contents in my stomach emptied and filled the toilet.
MIRCEE'S POV
The abrupt sound of someone running into the door woke me up suddenly, and I sat up to lay right back down when the throbbing in my head became painful. I groaned and felt the haziness subside as I re-opened my eyes to find that I wasn't in my room. Looking around, I noticed my shorts on the floor and I panicked and looked down at my body. I still had my underwear on. I sighed in relief and I slowly shifted off of the bed, leaning on the bed before I stood up straight. I bent over and grabbed my black shorts from the floor and I looked around the room again and I realized that I was in Jason's room. He must've gone to work. I looked at the digital clock on his bedside table and saw that it was 10:46.
I moaned and held my head as I walked out of the room. I heard someone vomiting in the bathroom as I walked past it. I walked into the bathroom and saw Amelia on her knees leaning over the toilet. She'd stopped vomiting but her body had started dry heaving. I furrowed my brow and kneeled down next to her and rubbed her back.
"Damn girl... How are you feeling?" I said. She looked up from the toilet to face me, she looked exhausted.
"I feel like shit. How else would I feel?" She managed out before she keeled over again over the toilet, dry heaving.
"I'm sorry babes. Last night might've been a bit too much. We never usually drink that much." I said as I ran my fingers through her hair, trying to soothe her.
After awhile of constant dry heaving, Amelia stood up and washed off her face over the sink, while I looked in the medicine cabinet.
"I could really use something to ease this pain in my fucking head. Ugh..." She grunted.
"I've been looking in the cabinet but I don't see any Ibuprofen or Advil. But," I said grinning. She looked at me with an arched eyebrow, "I do have a little bit left of that green we didn't smoke. Just enough so we're feeling a bit numb." Her eyes lit up and she followed me to our room. I bent over to grab the red tin box under my side of the bed, and smirked as I opened it and grabbed the small, thin joint. We hadn't smoked in a while and I'd forgotten about this.
We headed outside to the patio that was part of our room and we sat on the two outdoor chairs. I grabbed the lighter we kept on the small side table and lit the joint. When I finally got it started, I took the first hit and then handed it to Amelia, coughing as I did. She started sucking in after she'd inhaled and handed it back to me as she coughed and a burst of smoke left her mouth. We passed it back and forth about three more times before there was about nothing left.
We went back into the room and I put the remains in my tin box and set it back under my bed. The high made the pain in my head numb and my eyelids felt heavy. It was pretty fucking nice. I looked over at Amelia who was standing behind me. I put my hand on her head and began running my fingers through her hair as she closed her eyes.
"Feel better?" I asked, smiling.
"Yeah, a hell of a lot better," She opened her eyes and grinned at me, "Oh hey, could we go out later? I wanna get some red hair dye."
"Oh yeah, sure." I smiled as I put my hand down and walked into the living room. I spotted Marcus sleeping on the floor and I walked over to him. I smirked and sat on his stomach. I watched his face as he grimaced and opened his eyes, looking up at me.
"What the hell are you doing?" He grunted.
"Hah. I just wanted to wake you up. You looked too damn peaceful, man," He rolled his eyes and pushed me off. He sat up and held his head in his hands, groaning, "By the way, we ran out of all the painkillers we had. Sorry, bud.".
"Agh, it's alright. I'll just go smoke a cig." As he got up, Amelia walked in with a toasted bagel. I hadn't noticed she'd gone into the kitchen.
"Hey, sleepy head. How ya feeling?" She asked him before taking a bite out of her bagel. It made me think of how hungry I was. Marcus just looked down at her and groaned again before walking off into our room to go out into the patio. I got up and walked into the kitchen. I heard the coffee maker gurgling and I grabbed a bagel and stuck it in the toaster.
Man, I hardly remembered anything that happened last night. Why was I in Jason's room? I hoped I hadn't said anything wrong. I sighed and looked down, leaning on the counter. Something on the floor caught my eye and I walked over and grabbed it. It was my black ADTR shirt. Why the hell was it on the floor?
The toaster sprang and interrupted my thoughts. I just shrugged and slipped the shirt on and grabbed the bagel out of the toaster. I poured myself a cup of coffee and put in sugar and cream. I went back into the living room where Amelia sat on the recliner watching TV. I sat down on the couch taking a bite out of my bagel.
"Hey, after you're done eating and getting ready you wanna head out to the mall?" Amelia asked. I nodded with a full mouth and hastily finished and rushed into the bathroom to take a shower. While I was in the shower, I heard the door open and close and then the sound of someone brushing their teeth. I assumed it was Amelia.
"Hey dude, can you get clothes ready for me so I can just put clothes on and we'll leave?" I asked. I heard her spit.
"Sure." I heard the door open and close again.
After about ten minutes, I got out and dried off, walking out wrapped in a towel. I walked into the bedroom and looked at the clothes Amelia had laid out for me on the bed. She'd picked out teal blue skinny jeans and my old black BVB shirt. Damn, I hadn't worn that shirt in a while. It made me smile thinking that I'd be meeting them soon. Well shit, it seems so unbelievable that I'll be meeting one of my inspirations for singing. They were actually one of the bands that inspired me and Amelia to start out a band. I smiled again and slipped on the shirt and pants. Amelia was waiting for me on the couch. As she saw me walking towards the door, she followed me and we walked out, locking the door. We went to the first floor of the apartment complex and went into our car in the parking lot. I sat in the driver's seat as Amelia sat in the passenger's seat, already plugging her iPhone in. I turned on the car and backed out.
"Hey, we're going to the mall, right?" I looked over at her. She was scrolling through Spotify, looking for a song to play from her playlist. She nodded and I turned on my blinker to turn right.
"Ooh, you're gonna like this one," she said as she set the phone down on her lap. It was The Legacy by Black Veil Brides. What the hell was up with her and Black Veil Brides today? I looked over at her to find her air guitaring while the intro played on. I arched an eyebrow, shrugging as I started to sing along. We hadn't listened to them in a while. It was actually really refreshing. When the guitar solo came on, I could see her air guitar again. I chuckled. It kinda reminded me of the old days.
FLASHBACK (2 years ago)
I was driving with Amelia in the passenger seat. I'd just gotten my license and we we're driving to the mall. We were listening to WCAR's album Understanding What We've Grown To Be and listening to the song that shared the same name. It was one of my favorite songs by them and I was singing along as Amelia and I mouthed the screaming parts. I couldn't scream for shit and neither could she. My favorite part was coming up.
Tonight
When I look into the sky
I'll know this is why I am alive
Tonight
When I look into the sky
I'll know this is why i am alive
So sing with me if you feel this feeling
I dramatically held my hand up as I sang and had a fake pained expression on my face. I heard Amelia laugh as the song ended and she paused the music.
"Hey, you know I've been thinking about something lately." She said as she looked over at me.
"What is it?" I asked curiously.
"I know it's your dream to start a band and everything. So why don't we start one? I mean Jason's a guitarist. I'm sure he'd be down for joining us."
"Jason's already happily in a band and anyway you know that'd be hard for us to do right now." I glanced over at her. She was looking down, fumbling with her hands.
"I know but... I'd really like to do this Mirc. It'd be nice to just channel everything out through music and you know that I've been getting pretty good at bass." I saw her look at me from the corner of my eye and I looked over at her. Her eyes were pleading. We'd been going through so much just the past month. Amelia had been brutally abused by her drunk of a father and she ran away from home. She'd moved in with me and my parents but the problems didn't end there. Her boyfriend had cheated on her after two years of being together. All the pain suffocated her. I'd caught her one night harming herself... I had ended up cutting myself right in front of her, telling her if she ever did it again that I would harm myself as well. She'd stopped after that, promising she'd never do it again. She didn't like seeing me in pain just as much as I didn't like seeing her that way. After that she started practicing her bass again, channeling her pain and anger through the deep strums of the bass guitar.
I glanced at her wrist to see the two light pink scars. I glanced down at mine, the single scar sending shivers down my spine. I looked back up at the road and sighed.
"If it means that you'll be happier than I guess we should. And really thinking about it, it'd be nice to do something new for a change," I said, grinning, "I'll call Jason tonight and talk to him about it, but like you said he'll probably say yes."
"Mircee... thank you so fucking much."
I can see her smiling from the corner of my eye and I could faintly hear her sob. She was holding back tears. I chuckled.
"Don't thank me, darling. I just wanna see you happy."
END OF FLASHBACK
We were almost to the mall and Vices by Memphis May Fire was playing. Amelia reached over and turned down the music.
"Dude, can you even believe that we're gonna be meeting all these bands! Our fucking idols and inspirations! I mean damn, I would've never thought the day would come that we'd get to meet and chill with them! It's just a plus that some of them are pretty fuckin' hot!" She and I laughed as I parked. I turned off the car and we got out. We walked towards the mall.
"Don't you have an eye on Marcus at the moment?" I asked. She'd been talking about it for the past month or so.
"Ugh, dude that's coming up as a lost cause. We're just completely different, personality wise. It's hard to have a conversation when he's awkward and nervous the whole time. Besides, I think I know someone I'd be good for," She smirked and I knew who she was going to bring up, "You know C.C.'s been lookin' pretty good lately." She had this look on her face like "Oh yeah, I'd tap that." as she nodded. I laughed as I shook my head.
"Dude, you're freshly 19 and he's like 28." I looked at her and she rolled her eyes.
"So? It's legal."
I laughed as we walked into the mall.
8/15/13