Just a warning for you guys, there is girl on girl action in this chapter. If you don't like it, sorry, you don't have to read it. Also, there is self-harming in this chapter.

It had been a few days since I had told the guys what had happened. Things were tense. I had started self-harming again. Jinxx knew, but I didn't think anyone else did. I cringed, remembering when Jinxx had found out....


*FLASHBACK*

All of the guys, besides Jinxx and Ashley, went out for lunch at some pizza place, no shocker there. Ashley didn't want to go with them since he was seriously hungover, and Jinxx didn't want to go because he wanted to Skype Sammi.

I had shut myself in the bedroom a few minutes before the guys left. I unfortunately heard the conversation that Andy was having with Juliet. There were so many "I love you"s being said, that I couldn't take it anymore and I left to the bedroom. Every time I heard Andy say those three words, I had a deep, aching wish that he would say those words to me. None of the guys seemed to notice when I separated myself from them.

Once I was in the bedroom I collapsed on the ground and began to cry.I was going through so much right now, I couldn't take it. It seemed that no matter what I did, leaving school, leaving home, running from my past, I just couldn't escape the pain. I took out the razor I snuck on the bus and started slicing my wrists.

"I'm so worthless, fat, ugly, stupid, broken, contaminated!" I whisper-yelled at myself.

In almost no time at all, I was feeling light-headed. I enjoyed the feeling way more than I should. I knew Andy would be disappointed if he found out that I had started cutting again, but I didn't care. Before I was raped I felt worthless, but I never knew that I could feel this low.

I was crying on the floor with drops of blood hitting the ground, forming a little pool, when Jinxx entered the room to find his laptop.

"Mel! What are you doing?" Jinxx cried.

I knew there was no getting out of this.

"I'm so-sorry Jinxx. I-I just couldn't help it," I sobbed.

Jinxx came over to me and gave me a quick hug before getting the first-aid kit to clean up my wounds. We didn't talk while Jinxx bandaged me up, mostly because I didn't know what to say. After about a few minutes of spacing out, Jinxx broke the silence.

"What on earth made you want to do this?" Jinxx asked softly.

"Two things mostly. The first one being the rape. I just feel like shit because I let him take my virginity. I know I was scared, but I still should've tried to fight..." I trailed off.

"Mel, I know that what happened to you was awful, but don't blame yourself. If you had fought back he could've killed you. About losing your virginity, my thought is, is that if it was forcefully taken from you, then it's not theirs to keep."

"Thanks Jinxx," I said as I pulled him into a hug.

"What was the second thing that caused you to cut?" Jinxx asked.

"This is going to sound really stupid. I love Andy. I know he has a girlfriend that he loves, and I'm just some stupid fan with mental issues. He's the first guy who has truly cared about me an it just really hurts knowing he'll never love me," I sighed.

"I'm sorry. I know it must be hard, but there are other guys out there for you who will treat you like the princess that you are," Jinxx told me.

"Jinxx, I think that I may give up on guys for a while," I said.

"Come on, don't give up on love. You of all people deserve it," he pleaded.

"I never said anything about giving up on love, just guys," I blushed as I tried to explain.

"You mean you're bisexual?" he asked.

"Yes, was that not obvious?"

"Actually no, but I bet you'll be a heartbreaker," he smiled.

I couldn't help but laugh. Jinxx and I got off of the floor and headed out of the bedroom, only to see Ashley passed out on the couch.


*END FLASHBACK*

"Guys, let's go out clubbing tonight!" Ashley shouted.

"Fine, just quit shouting, you're hurting my ears," Andy complained.

He looks so cute when he complains, I thought. Wait, stop it. You need to get over him. Stop thinking about him.

I sighed. I didn't really want to go clubbing, but I didn't want to stay on the bus either. I eventually decided I would go, but I needed to shower before we headed out.

After my shower and ten minutes of putting on my makeup, I started to get dressed. I chose my short black dress with spaghetti straps and my high-heeled, red pumps. I covered up my cuts with FIR, BVB, MCR, and SWS bracelets. I wanted to get over Andy, so what better way then to have fun tonight. Maybe I would meet a girl.

I went back into the bathroom to put cover up on my bruises that were still pretty bad, and to tease my hair. I looked in the mirror, and for once, I didn't hate how I looked. I walked out of the bathroom and out of the bus to find the guys waiting for me.

"Whoah," CC said.

"Damn girl, looking sexy!" Ashley smirked.

"You don't look so bad yourself Purdy," I giggled.

Out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw Andy looking at my ass, but that was probably just wishful thinking.

"Ready to start clubbing?" Ashley asked.

"Sure, lead the way," I said.

Two hours and eight shots later, I was way past buzzed. I was dancing with random people, and occasionally tripping over my own feet. I made the decision to go back to the bar and sit for a little bit.

"First time getting drunk?" a female voice asked from the bar stool next to me.

"May-maybe," I replied.

"I remember my first time. I woke up in a bush by a playground. I still don't know how I got there. My name's Annabelle by the way. You can call me Annie though. How old are you? You look a little young to be drinking," she said with a smirk and a wink.

I couldn't believe that a chick was actually flirting with me. Especially this girl. Annabelle was a gorgeous brunette with hazel eyes and plump, pink lips. She was wearing a short, red, strapless dress that hugged all of her curves, and a pair of black heels. I was incredibly drunk and probably looked like shit, but this girl was still flirting with me.

"My name's Melanie and I'm 18, but you can call me Mel," I said.

Annabelle smirked and got off of her stool. She grabbed my hand and lead me to an unoccupied corner of the club. Annabelle gently pushed me against the wall and kissed me.

I was shocked that she was being kissed by some random girl in a club. This was wrong, but it felt so right at the same time. I came to the club to get over Andy, and this was the way to do it. I felt Annabelle's hands roaming over my body as her cherry and vodka lips pressed themselves to mine. I tangled my fingers in Annabelle's hair and slid my tongue across Annabelle's bottom lip. Annabelle opened her mouth, and soon enough our tongues where wrestling for dominance.

When we broke the kiss for some much-needed air, I bravely breathed out, "How about we continue this somewhere else?"

Annabelle nodded and was lead by her wrist to the Black Veil Brides tour bus. When we got to my bunk we continued our make-out session, only this time clothes were lost and scattered on the floor.

Notes