Secrets

I woke up and groaned my whole body was stiff, my face stung and I had a splitting headache. My room was way too bright for my liking and I mentally cursed myself for keeping my light on. When did my room get so white? I blinked a couple of times and my vision started to un-blur. I realized that I was in the hospital and groaned. I didn’t have the slightest clue as to how I got here. The last thing I remember was being at the club with everybody and getting up to go to the bathroom. I shifted feeling uncomfortable in my hospital bed and tried to lift my arms to stretch. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion when I couldn’t lift my right arm.

I couldn’t help but to smile softly when I looked down. Andy was sleeping by my side his head resting on one of his arms on the side of the bed while his free hand was entwined with mine. I looked around the room and noticed we were the only ones here. I started to run my fingers through his hair and he stirred but he didn’t wake up. Observing him I couldn’t help but to notice that Andy looked completely exhausted. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion; just how long was I out for?

Andy stirred again and a soft groan escaped his lips as he started to wake up. His grip on my hand tightened as he started to lift his had up. I couldn’t help but to giggle at how cute he looked trying to wake up. Andy shot up after hearing me and just stared at me for a while not sure if he was actually seeing me awake. Before I could say anything else Andy had launched himself onto me pulling me into an extremely tight hug.

“Oh thank fuck you’re awake, you scared the hell out of me Baby.” He mumbled into my shoulder. He pulled away at arm’s length and just stared at me. I couldn’t read his expression; he looked so relieved but pained all at the same time. Andy pulled me into a bruising kiss; it was filled with desperation like he’d never see me again.

“I’m sorry.” I croaked out when he pulled away. My voice was hoarse and it hurt to talk, Andy grabbed a bottle of water and tilted it so I could drink it. I was really grateful and I was starting to feel a little better. My head still hurt like a motherfucker and I felt woozy but I’d be okay eventually.

“You were screaming so much and I didn’t know what to do. I-I felt so helpless.”

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, I had no clue what landed me here. “I-I don’t remember what happened.” I mumbled looking down at my hands. Andy laced our fingers together and kissed my forehead.

“When you went to the bathroom you were attacked. I got to you in time before anything could happen but you were freaking out and you were in your own world screaming at your mother.” I felt my heart stop at his words, I could only imagine the things I said and all of them were definitely things that Andy was never supposed to hear. “The doctors said that the attacked caused you to relive events you repressed in the past and you ended up having a nervous breakdown. You’ve been out for three days.”

“Three days!” I shouted completely shocked, I thought that I would have been out for a couple of hours not days.

“Yeah, all of us have been in and out of hospital to see you. I haven’t left this room expect to pee. And when Jamie and Sammi forced me to take a shower yesterday.” Andy mumbled the last part and I couldn’t help but to laugh, he was just too cute sometimes.

“Well thank you for staying by my side. I’m glad you were the first thing I saw when I woke up.” He leaned and pecked my lips and I smiled from the warmth that flowed through me.

“I love you Jade.”

“I love you too.”

“Well aren’t you two adorable.” A new voice cooed and our heads shot up towards the door. I couldn’t help but to squeal as I saw the person in the doorway. I had missed her so much.

“Mama!” I squealed stretching my arms out wildly emphasizing that I wanted a hug. She just laughed before walking over and pulling me into a hug. I couldn’t help the tears of happiness that welled up in my eyes. I was finally back in the arms of the woman I had called my mom since I was ten. I hadn’t seen her for such a long time and I missed her so much. I knew that if I was with her I was okay. Mary Ann made me feel safe like no one else could.

“I missed you Mama.” I choked out.

“I missed you too sweetheart. I’m so glad you’re okay.”

“Andy told me I had a nervous breakdown I-I don’t know what I said, I can’t remember what happened. I’m scared.” I admitted momentarily forgetting that Andy was in the room with us. He just sat their shocked with his mouth hanging open. I forgot he didn’t know that Mary Ann knew about us. I shifted my face away from her shoulder so I could really look at Andy. “Andy Mama’s known about us since day one its okay.”

“Oh okay, geez you two scared the hell out of me.” Andy said before composing himself.

“Sorry Andy.”

“It’s alright Baby.”

“Um where’s Ashley and everyone else?”

“Ashley just went to get something to eat and everyone else is at home trying to sleep. You gave us all a scare. I know I practically had a heart attack when Ashley called me and told me what happened. How are you feeling sweetpea?” Mama asked and looked down.

“My head really hurts and I’m a little sore.”
“That’s to be expected you relived a lot of things and I know it wasn’t pleasant.” Mama said running her hands through my hair as she lied down with me in my hospital bed. I always felt comforted when I was cuddled up with her. I could tell that Andy wanted to ask me what the hell happened but I was just too scared to tell him. I didn’t want him to become disgusted and leave me after I told him what happened I don’t think that I could handle that. I had intended on keeping what really happened during my childhood a secret to the grave but it’s not fair to Andy. After he witnessed my breakdown he has the right to know, everyone does.

“Jade Baby you can tell me what happened when you’re ready you don’t have to feel pressured into telling me anything.”

“I-I know, you deserve to know, I just think I should tell everyone at once. It’s a lot to take in and I don’t want you to leave me after I tell you.” I mumbled letting a tear fall from my eye. Andy was out of his seat in a flash and caressing my cheek.

“There is nothing that you could say that would make me leave you. I love you Baby.”

“I know, I’m sorry for doubting you.”

“You have nothing to be sorry about Jade. Oh on the Brightside I finally broke up with Vanessa! I know that makes you happy.”

“I wish I saw her face when you did.” I giggled.

“Trust me I wish I had recorded it. She threated to tell Ashley and I told her to go ahead, she hasn’t though. I bet she’ll try to once you’re out of the hospital though. She really is a bitch. I’m sorry I didn’t see that before Baby.”

“It’s alright Andy it doesn’t matter anymore we’re back together and that’s all that matters.”

“And I’m glad you two are, you’re both too cute together.” Mama butted in and we couldn’t help but to both blush.

Before either of us could respond the door banged open and Ashley rushed in. “Oh Jade thank fuck you’re okay. I was so worried Baby girl.” Andy moved out of the way so Ashley could hug me and it felt good to have my brother hold me. I noticed everyone else flowed into the room and I tensed up a little when I saw Vanessa enter. She gave me a death glare but I ignored her. I did not have time for this bitch right now.

“I’m okay now Ash, I just have a massive headache.” I explained.

“I’ll go get your doctor and tell them you’re awake.” Mary Ann said starting to get up but I grabbed her arm and pulled her closer to me. I don’t know why but right now I just felt so safe and I didn’t want anyone to leave…well besides Vanessa that bitch could fall off the face of the earth for all I cared.

“I’ll do it.” Jinxx offered before linking his arms with Sammi and exiting the room. I could see Vanessa trying to ease her way over to Andy and I couldn’t believe she was still trying to make moves on my man in a fucking hospital. This girl really has no shame.

“Ashley you know we have to tell everyone now right?” I asked yawning but low so only he could hear me. My eyes were starting to get droopy. Despite sleeping for three days straight I was still exhausted and I didn’t know why. It was probably because of stress. I cuddled up to him and yawned again.

He nodded into my hair before sighing. “You tired Baby girl?”

“Uh huh.”

“You can go back to sleep if you want.”

“Don’t want to I miss you guys.” I whined snuggling closer to him. Everyone laughed and kept saying how cute they thought I was. I met Vanessa’s eye and gave her a ‘take that bitch’ smirk before I shut my eyes and tried to go back to sleep.

“What exactly caused Jade to have a nervous breakdown?” I could hear Jake asked and I stiffened and Ashley noticed because he squeezed my waist tighter.

“We haven’t been honest with you guys about our past and I guess it’s about time we told you. Just not right now once Jade gets out of the hospital we’ll tell you the truth. Just be patient okay?” Ashley’s tone was pleading and I know he was starting to relive it as well.

“Take all the time you need, tell us when you’re ready.” I heard CC say reassuringly.

“Thanks guys.”

I peeked my eyes open a little and couldn’t help but to grin when I saw Andy looking right at me. He gave me a gentle loving smile and I felt a little more at ease. I felt safer than I ever have in years. I such great people surrounding me how would protect me no matter what and I was so grateful. Nobody was going to take these people away from me, not Vanessa, not my dad and most definitely not my mother. I knew these people would here for me no matter what, they were my family and we stuck together through thick and thin.

Notes