Secrets

Today was the day that Jade was finally released from the hospital and I was ecstatic. I could tell she was more than relieved to be able to go home. She had been kept in the hospital for another three days and I knew she was bored out of her mind. I hadn’t left her side the whole time she was there unless it was to go home and shower and after that I was right back at her side to keep her company. I think the others were starting to sense that Jade and I were a little too close but no one commented on it. Ashley seemed to be completely oblivious to it all and I was fine with that. I was still nervous as all hell about telling him but I decided to cross that road when I came to it.

I was waiting outside of her room and waited for her to get dressed. Ashley was bringing his car around and he was going to pick us up at the entrance. Everyone was going to Mary Ann’s house and I was confused to as to why. I assumed it had something to do with Jade’s nervous breakdown at the club. That was one of the scariest moments in my life and I didn’t want to relieve it. It made me extremely curious as to what she was talking about. I could tell there was something that she wasn’t telling me and that hurt. We usually never kept secrets from each other.

I was extremely curious as to what was going on. Jade had always told me that she never got along with her mother and had moved in with Ashley when she was sixteen. They never got to see each other often because they were half siblings but they had always been close. We had met a year after Ashley and Jade moved to California and we instantly clicked. Jade was so shy around me at first and would sometimes flinch at my touch. She didn’t let anyone besides Ashley or Mary Ann get close to her but she finally warmed up to me and the rest is history. We’ve had our ups and downs but now we’ve almost been together for three years and I couldn’t have been more happy. She means the world to me and I can’t see myself without her especially since I almost lost her once.

I heard the door creak and Jade slowly and shyly walked out in a simple white t-shirt, light blue skinny jeans and black TOMS. She looked too adorable with her hair in a messy bun and I couldn’t help myself as I leaned down and kissed her. She started to blush and buried her face in my shirt.

“Awe Baby don’t be shy it’s just me.” I cooed and she gripped my shirt.

“I-I know.”

“Jade what’s wrong?” I could instantly tell that there was something wrong, she seemed so tense and on edge and she was avoiding my eyes.

“W-when we go to Mary Ann’s house Ashley and I are going to tell you and everyone else something a-and y-you’re not g-going to l-like it. T-there’s s-something I’ve b-been keeping from you and you might w-want to b-break up with me after you know the t-truth.” She mumbled into my chest and I could tell she was trying not to cry.

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. What could she possibly tell me that is so bad? It must be extremely serious if both her and Ashley have been keeping it from all of us. I squeezed her to me tightly and kissed the top of her head and rubbed her back.

“Jade, Baby look at me.” I requested lifting her chin so she could look at me. “There is nothing you could say to me that will make me breakup with you. I love you and whatever it is I promise you we can get past it. I love you Jade no matter what okay?”

“I-I love you too.”

“Good now come on lets go Ashley is probably waiting for us at the entrance.” I rested my hand on the small of her back and started to guide her out of the hospital. I didn’t let out how worried and confused I was, whatever she was keeping from me had to be serious. I squeezed her waist just continued to walk. Once we exited the hospital I instantly spotted Ashley’s car. I let go of her but she instantly grabbed my hand and entwined our fingers. She seemed terrified of me letting her go and I was confused. She must have seriously thought that I was going to leave her because of this secret. Whatever it was I was not going to let it get between us.

I opened the back seat of Ashley’s truck and slid let Jade go in. She yanked me in after her I couldn’t help but to chuckle. Ashley gave us a curious look but just shook his head and drove off as soon as I shut the door. The whole ride was filled with an extremely awkward silence and tension filled. I wanted to say something but I just didn’t know what to say. Jade just continued to fiddle with my fingers through the whole ride and rest her head on my shoulder. She was just so tense and I didn’t know how to change that, it was really bothering me to see her like this.

When the car stopped in Mary Ann’s driveway, I squeezed her hand and kissed her cheek when Ashley wasn’t looking. I helped her out of the truck and I slowly guided her towards the door. Ashley took out his keys and unlocked the front door.

“We’re here.” He called out as we continued to walk. Everyone else was already in the living room and I couldn’t help but to scowl because Vanessa was here as well. She didn’t have the right to be here but only a certain few of us knew that.

“Oh good.” Mary Ann said smiling but it didn’t reach her eyes. “Do you want anything to eat or something to drink?” She asked getting up and hugging all of us. We all looked at each other nervous and tense. None of us knew why we were all here to talk about. Jade, Ashley and Mary Ann had left as all in the dark.

“Mama I think we should just get in over with.” Jade mumbled into Mary Ann’s shirt and she just nodded weakly.

“If that’s what you want.” She said stroking Jade’s hair.

“It’s not, but everyone witnessed my mental breakdown and they all have the right to know why it happened. They are my family after all, and we’ve been keeping it from them for too long.” Jade said letting go of my hand and walking towards the empty sofa with Mary Ann and Ashley. Unfortunately the only spot left that wasn’t the floor was between CC and Vanessa. I still didn’t want to let on that something else was going on so I sucked it up and sat in between them. I gave Vanessa glare clearly warning her not to start anything and she shrunk back into the sofa.

“Jade do you want to talk or should I tell them?” Ashley asked and Jade bit her lip clearly nervous. Jade just shook her head and raised her knees up to her chest and cuddled into his side before letting out a shaky breath. Mary Ann continued to run her fingers through Jade’s hair as a way to comfort her.

“I know that you all think that Ashley is extremely overprotective of me but he’s like this for a legit reason.” Jade started to explain while looking down at her knees, refusing to meet anyone’s eyes. “As you know Ashley and I are half siblings, we have the same father but we never lived together, it was just my mom and I but Ashley would sometimes visit. I was the result of my dad’s affair and he didn’t want anything to do with me but Ashley did. So he would visit me whenever he could since he lived about two hours away from me. When he was old enough he started to drive himself down to see me almost all the time.” Jade let out a shaky breath before continuing.

“My mother hated me and she made sure that I knew that. I was told all the time that I was a mistake and that I should have been aborted. She used to beat me every chance she got and only didn’t when she knew that Ashley was coming over. Ashley didn’t know about it because I was too scared to tell him what was happening. She had been abusing me since I was three up until I was ten. I know we told you all that I moved in with Ashley when I was sixteen and that Mary Ann is just my boss but that’s not true. When Ashley found out what was happening he was eighteen and I was ten. He took me away from her and took me to his house. Our father told him to send me back because he really wanted nothing to do with me and he didn’t care that I was being abused. Ashley basically told him to go to hell and packed his stuff and left. He was determined to raise me himself and was determined to leave everything behind. So we drove all the way to California and we didn’t have a lot of money so we couldn’t afford motels so for a while we were living out of our car for a while. It was actually by chance that Mary Ann found us. She was walking to work one day and saw our car and found us huddled together sleeping.”

Jade gave a weak smile and I could tell she was remembering the day Mary Ann must have took them in. “She was never able to have her own children and with no questions asked took us in. She let us live with her in her house and she even enrolled me in school. She let Ashley work at her bakery so he could make his own income. We’re extremely grateful to her and I don’t know where we’d be without her. This is only part of it though.”

Tears started to spill from her eyes and I just wanted to get up and wrap her in my arms. She wouldn’t even look at me and it was killing me to see her like this. “W-when I was living with my mom around the time I was seven she started bringing men home. At first she would just have sex with them but then they would start to ask about me a-and she w-would-“

Jade started to tremble and Ashley started to rock her in his arms. “It’s Jade come on you can do it, you’re such a strong person and don’t you forget that.” Ashley said reassuring her and wiping the tears from her eyes.
“S-she w-would l-let t-them touch me.” Jade whispered and I felt my heart stop. And I clenched my fists in anger. How could anyone do this to their own child? “A-and t-they w-would j-just have t-their way w-with m-me.” Ashley cradled her in his arms and tried to calm her down but it was just no use. She was in hysterics and I couldn’t stop myself from crying.

“I’m going to take up to her room to calm her down.” Ashley stated scooping her up in his arms and walking out of the room. I put my head in my hands and my body shook as I started to cry. I just couldn’t take it, knowing that someone dared to hurt my Jade like that was just too much to handle and everything just started to make sense now. Why she was so shy, her nightmares, and why she didn’t really trust men that weren’t any of us it all made sense and I just wish she had told me all of this sooner. I could feel CC rubbing my back to calm me down but it was just no use. I could tell that this was hurting everyone but this new information hit me the worst. She was so scared that I was going to breakup with her because of this and that broke my heart. I just want to hold her in my arms and never let her go. Jade is the love of my life and knowing she went through so much pain and trauma is killing me.

“Come on Andrew”. Mary Ann said lightly grabbing my arm and pulling me up. “You need some air.” She said probably knowing exactly how I was feeling. I just let her lead me out of the room and we slowly headed towards the back yard. She sat me down on the back porch and just let me cry in her arms. I just let everything I was feeling out and I wailed in choked sobs. I just wanted to be with her right now and hold her but I couldn’t. My world was in pain and there was absolutely nothing I could do at the moment to make everything right.

Notes