Andy’s POV

I heard movement and looked up to see Ash looking more aware and less in the clouds. Moments later, I was met by his face cuddling into my side and his arms wrapping around me and him saying, “good night Annddddyyyyyyy.” Whether he thought I was Andy or Andy Dawn, I wouldn’t know but he was asleep the moment his head made impact with my body. Turning the TV off, I grabbed a blanket and laid it across the both of us. As I tried to fall asleep, my thoughts began to wander and enter dark territories. Questions ran through my mind. Why was Juliet acting this way? Is she cheating on me? Is she actually on drugs? Does she even love me? Then after that point, my thoughts got worse. My mind began to take a toll on the spirit of my soul. I began to question life. If we all die to live and live to die, what’s the point of living life if it just contradicts? At some point, I gave into the sleep I so desperately wanted and washed away all of my thoughts with a numbness sleep.


The next morning, I woke up to someone taking a picture of me and saying to someone, “Put this on twitter and tag both of them in it as Andley. It will make the fan girls go crazy.” I heard someone else laugh and then silence. I pretended to be asleep for a while longer. A while later, I was ‘woken’ up by CC poking me in the face and then saying, “we’re almost home. Pack up everything and then eat breakfast.” Ash was still out cold so I replaced myself with a pillow and then went to the bathroom. In the mirror, I saw a shell of someone I once knew. All the crap with Juliet was getting to me mentally and physically. All the mental pain made me physically not hungry so then I didn’t eat. I’m headed down the same road as Ash if I’m not careful and the guys will notice because of how recent things were.

There were dark circles under my eyes as well as bags, my skin was a bit paler than normal and the shine in my eyes was barely there. Running a hand through my semi-long hair. As I was changing from sweat pants to skinny jeans, old scars flashed as my boxers moved. Scars that showed how low I was and how far I’ve came. Scars that will be with me forever. Scars that only few people have seen in an intimate moment. I hid them from Scout pretty well, since she never saw them and Juliet doesn’t ask about them or ever say anything about it. It strikes me as odd. Wouldn’t you want to know every little detail of someone you love? The way their hair parts? Or how their eyes sparkle a certain way when they laugh? I would. Maybe she really doesn’t love me. Damn it. This morning is already amounting to crap.

Quickly pulling up the rest of my jeans, I put on a clean shirt and then left the bathroom to clean out my bunk. Once it was empty of all my stuff and everything was packed away, I began to hunt for food in the kitchen area. After a few minutes of looking, I made myself some eggo waffles and then headed back to the bunkroom. I ate one of the two waffles. The food just didn’t want to go down, I had to practically force the first one down and I couldn’t get the second one down even if I tried or was paid. I threw it away in the garbage and then went to see if Ash was still asleep. He was. Lucky duck. He didn’t have to clean out his bunk because Jinxx already cleaned it out. I think he didn’t mind cleaning out the little amount of stuff Ash had and packing it up because, unlike other tours, no girls had been brought around so nothing had sex germs on it, that and he didn’t really have much stuff. Jake apparently already cleaned out Andy Dawn’s bunk and had all of her stuff ready to go. Once everything was ready to go, we all hung out in the living area watching random TV shows and talking about tour.


We were about an hour away from Jake’s house when Ash finally decided to join the land of the living. Jinxx had a glass of water and his bottle of pills ready for him the moment he awoke, which he definitely needed. The first thing he said was, “my head hurts.” Jinxx began to force feed him whatever food was left so he could take all of his pills and then made him drink like a gallon of water. By the time Jake was dropped off, he was feeling better but his back was still in pain. CC was dropped of next and then Jinxx. Sammi Doll brought all of the kids to us and they got on the bus and we left Jinxx with her. The moment she saw him, she gave him a big hug and a kiss. Juliet was like that in the beginning of our relationship. It’s not the same anymore. She’s not the same anymore. It feels like I lost myself to her. She didn’t like my hair being super long so I cut it a little bit shorter. She didn’t like the stitch marks on my cheek so I stopped doing it (also cause why would we have war paint in the desert for the legion of the Black Era).

It feels like I sacrificed myself to her and it wasn’t good enough so she moved on. We’re still together but it doesn’t feel like it. We probably haven’t taken in weeks and we haven’t had any decent conversations in months. It’s not fair. My dragonfly flew away and I was left with a broken heart. Getting out of my mind, I noticed we were a block from Ash’s house. Andy Dawn (who joined us after Jake was dropped of) had everyone’s bags ready to go and had a hold of Kellin while I had Eve. Even in all my despair, I was still able to care for little Eve. It feels like that’s what Ash did. I’m scared I’m going to end up doing something I’m going to regret. I want to be alone but then I don’t want to be alone. I’m going to stay with Ash for a bit since he’s probably going to need my help to take care of the kiddos but afterwards, I don’t know what I’m going to do. Perhaps I could go on vacation or something. Travel all alone without the band for a week or two. Return to school (oh Joy). I’m so glad I’ve been doing so well. Its easier than I remember and even with tour, I got all my work done and in on time thanks to the guys.

Andy Dawn’s going to have to go back to school too. Oh gosh. She is definitely not going back to the school she just left. She can’t go through that again. I’m not saying she’s not strong but she would relapse instantly if she went back there. Heck, I would too if I went through what she did again. It makes me sick to know people treat people who are different or special so horribly. If I went back to school one day and thing were how they were when I was 15, I don’t know what I’d do. I mean I know that I’ve come so far and I’ve done so much but who’s to say I wouldn’t return to things that I shouldn’t do. All this bullshit with Juliet is getting to me already, its messing with my head. Making me feel low and I’m afraid I would return to something if I weren’t strong enough. I know I shouldn’t and that I cant because I would be letting everyone down. I’d be throwing away all my years of being clean. One part of me cares about that while the bigger part doesn’t. It’s telling me not to care. To throw all that I’ve accomplished away.

Focusing on the little one in my arms, I held her close as I stepped of the bus with my backpack on my back and my suitcase behind me. Once all the kiddos were set up in the house, I went back to help Ash of the bus. It was decided that it would be easier to just carry him over my shoulders and than put him in his wheel chair. Once we were in the house, I made him schedule an appointment with his regular doctor for his back to be checked out and a physical therapist who can help him with the recovery and walking without pain. Putting my bag in my room, I then asked Ash if he would be okay for a bit for me to go get some stuff from my apartment for my room since I wouldn’t be going home anytime soon. He said he would be okay for a bit with the kiddos as long as Andy Dawn was there with him.

Bidding him well, I called up one of my friends who was in the area and asked them to drop me off at my apartment. Once I had all my stuff and I was ready to take my car back to Ash’s house, I dialed an old number. Letting it ring I said, “I’d like to renew my depression pills.” The person took my info and I went to the pharmacy to get it. I guess I’m already headed down that road. The question is, how fast am I going? Part of me wouldn’t care if I became who I once was when I was 15. The other part doesn’t want that, the other part wants me to fight whatever feelings I’m having and not relapse. If I relapsed, I would be throwing away all that I’ve worked for in the past years; I would also be picking up a knife and not a pen. Right now, I just need to get to Ash’s and get my prescription before I start to really lose my mind.

An hour later I was pulling into Ash’s drive way and parked my car. Getting out I went in and called out for Ash and Andy Dawn. Getting a response of “in here.” I followed the voices to the music studio. Andy Dawn was holding an electric guitar and Ash was trying to teach her something. Saying hello I then went to take my stuff to my room. As soon as my door was closed, I locked it and then jumped onto my bed headfirst. Screaming softly into the pillow, I kicked and punched the bed in frustration. Picking up my phone, I dialed Juliet’s phone number. When she didn’t pick up the first time, I called 17 times more. Getting no response, I sent her like 257 messages. Most of the messages said, “Hey dragon fly, we haven’t talked in a long time. I love you. Call me. I miss you.” another one said, “Juliet, why aren’t you answering me?” several more said, “is there something I did? At least tell me what I did so I can make it right. I love you.”


After getting no response, I went on twitter to message her. If she doesn’t respond there, everyone would see it. Right as I opened the app and my home thread loaded, her notification went off saying she just tweeted. Tapping on what she tweeted she wrote, “Some people don’t get the memo I guess. If I didn’t answer once, don’t call me 20 times and text me 300 hundred times. Don’t call me again.” I called her one last time and she didn’t answer. I left her a long voice mail saying, “Juliet, we’ve gone weeks without talking. You’re my girlfriend; the woman I love and you obviously don’t want to talk to me. It hurts me. I love you so much but you want nothing to do with me. I know I’ve called and texted you a lot over the last few weeks, heck months but you have barely responded to me. I understand tour is busy but when you tweet someone hit me up or that your bored and I called you not even 10 minutes later, you don’t answer. I just want to know what we are. I believe we are still in a relationship despite you not answering me. I’m going to love you until I know this is over and then I’m going to still love you. I will fight for you. I will do what ever it takes to have you as mine. I love you more than I can ever scream. You’re my dragonfly and I’m your white rabbit. I love you. Please call me. Or text me. Or tweet me. Please. I love you.”

Hanging up, I went back on twitter to see if she said anything else. Someone mentioned me in a tweet as well as Juliet and someone else. Clicking on the tweet, a picture showed up. Juliet was in some guy’s lap and was kissing him and was grinding on him. More pictures showed up on my mentions. There was another picture of her dirty dancing with another guy. Another was of her going into a bathroom with the same guy. And then there was one last picture. It was of her leaving the bathroom and her clothes were obviously not in the same condition as when she went into the bathroom. Her hair was everywhere and her makeup was smudged. The make up I told her she didn’t need because she was already beautiful. She had hickies all over her neck. It was obvious of what just happened.

Clicking out of twitter, I called her one last time. I said in a calm voice at first, “I’ve seen the pictures Juliet. I know what’s been happening. I want to know how many times and how long. Do I want to know why? Thank you for taking a hold of my heart and then ripping it out. Why don’t you just spit and kick it all over the country will you? If you don’t explain to me what happened or at least give me the decency to call me back and say that were over or whatever you want, I’m going to continue on with my life. I wont forget what we were but I sure as hell wont forget what happened.I’ll always love you but I can’t continue to be treated like shit. It drives a knife into my chest to say this Juliet but if you don’t call me back or at least give me some sort of contact we will be over. You’ll be a memory. I really don’t want to let you go and I don’t want to not be able to call you mine but I can’t continue to live like this. Please. I want to talk this out. Good bye.”

Throwing the phone down next to me, tears began to prickle my eyes. Blinking them away I grabbed a notebook and wrote down what I felt. What I wanted to do to myself. I did everything in my power to take all the bad things I felt and put them on paper so they wouldn’t be in me but they still remained. My phone went off and I checked it. Juliet tweeted something. Opening her tweet it read, “it brings me much pain to say this but my relationship with Andy is over, it has been over for a long time. We did not make a statement about it until now. It was a mutual thing, I hope you all understand.” throwing my phone at the bed I screamed. “IT WASN’T MUTUAL YOU FUCKING BITCH. YOU CHEATED ON ME. YOU LIED TO EVERYONE. IT WASN’T MUTUAL. WE NEVER ENDED UNTIL YOU SAID IT ENDED THREE SECONDS AGO. I DIDN’T WANT US TO END. NO. IT’S NOT OVER. I DON’T UNDERSTAND. I don’t understand.”


I collapsed into a fit of tears before going into an angry rage. I flipped the bed, threw the bedding around the room, took my shirts out of my closet, and threw them everywhere. When my rage ended, I fell to the ground and cried some more. As I wiped away my tears, the tattoo I had that said Dragonfly made me go into another fit of rage. We were supposed to be forever. I was going to propose and we would get married and have several kids and they would grow up and do great things. That is obviously never going to happen now. Rapid knocking on the door grew louder and louder.

The door unlocked and was opened by Ashley and Andy Dawn. They took a step into the room and were careful as they walked, glass broke everywhere and things had fallen everywhere. Andy Dawn Helped me to my feet and then took me down stairs while Ash surveyed the room. I tripped down the last few stairs and fell on my face. Tears began to fill my eyes and I tried to blink them away but they continued to fill my eyes until they fell down my cheeks. Andy Dawn got me up and to the couch where she told me to stay. A few minutes later she returned with several massive fuzzy blankets, ice cream and more junk food, and all the batman movies we owned. She put the first one in and then pulled me to her and held me as I cried. Despite her being younger than me, she took care of me.



Ashley’s POV


This morning my head was hurting horribly. Right now, my main concern is Andy. I read what Juliet posted on twitter and I heard him screaming. My heard ached for him. He loved Juliet with everything he had and to see the pictures on twitter and then what she has posted is angering. I tweeted, “ people are sickening. That’s not what happened and you know it. Hurt my family and I’ll hurt you 2x over.” Looking around the room, I looked at the damage. The bed was flipped, clothes and bedding were everywhere and glass was broken. Andy’s notebook lay in the middle of things. Slowly picking it up, I read what he had written. By the last entry of it, I was in tears. I cleaned up what I could but left the bed flipped upside down. There was no way in hell I could turn that right side up with my bad back at the moment.

Going down stairs, I saw Andy Dawn holding Andy close to her body and him sleeping. She saw me and motioned me over before whispering, “he cried himself to sleep.” I nodded and then texted the guys that I would need somebody’s help to fix up his room. Showing them the notebook would probably be breaking Andy’s trust but me reading it would not be. It’s my house and I told him no secrets and it’s regarding his safety and the safety of my children, its not so bad. Going to check on Jinxx, I saw her playing with Eve in her room and Kellin asleep. I also made a mental note to do something with Jinxx when everything calms down.

CC volunteered and then texted he’d be over within an hour.I went back to the living room and Andy was still asleep. All I really could do was cover them both up and shift Andy so Andy Dawn could get more comfortable. I then began the process to make dinner. Once it was made and the littlest ones had eaten, I ate and then switched spots with Andy Dawn so she could eat. Andy was still asleep by the time CC got here. I heard him talk to Jinxx for a bit before going to fix the room. When he came back down a while later he said, “I fixed the bed so its now right side up, I cleaned up the glass and clothes and then remade the bed with clean sheets. Everything is changed and put away.” I thanked him and he then helped me get Andy up to his bed. He traded spots with me for a bit while I got the kiddos ready for bed.

Kellin didn’t make much fuss and was a happy little boy when I changed his diaper and sang him a song before putting him in his crib. Eve was more of a challenge since she didn’t want to go to bed. She kept shaking her bed and saying, “no.” at some point, I coaxed her into lying down and then she quickly fell asleep. Jinxx brushed her teeth and had her pajamas on and was ready for bed by the time I got to her room. She smiled and ran up to my legs and hugged me. It was cute. Her head was only to my waist since she was so tiny. We stood in front of the large mirror and took a picture in my room. She was hugging my legs and had an arm around her while holding the phone in my other hand.

I also took a picture where we were both on the floor making funny faces. We took several more pictures before I walked her back to her room and she crawled into her bed. “Tell me a bed time story daddy.” I scrunched up my nose and said, “what was that.” she smiled innocently and said, “please?” I kissed her forehead and said, “ much better kiddo.” She stuck her tongue out and I began the story.

“There was a princess in a land very far from here. She had these bright beautiful eyes just like her mother but with a hint of mischievousness from her father. Her hair was long and beautiful, just like her sister’s. Her smile was brighter than all the stars in the sky and her laugh was the sound of a bird’s melody. One day, a boy came into her land. She welcomed him in and her family dined with him. He stayed for several days. Each day he spent with the princess, he fell more and more in love with her. For each day he spent with her, he found a new reason to love her. Whether it was the way she laughed or how she scrunched up her nose when she disagreed, he loved her with all his heart. The princess fell in love with him to. The way he sang her favorite songs, made her smile and how she felt when she was with him and everything about him just made her love him more. One day, the king fell ill. He told the prince to take care of his daughter. So before he died, the boy married the girl. He than took the title as king. The thing was, the boy was a commoner. But because of the kindness in his heart, all looked past it because of how much he loved the princess and how much she loved him. Together, they ruled the kingdom for a very very long time. The end.”


By the time the story ended, she was asleep. Covering her up, I went to check on Andy Dawn. She was passed out lying in the middle of her bed. Moving her gently, I put her under the covers and then kissed her forehead. As I was walking out, she said, “Love you daddy.” I smiled and said, “Love you Andy.” Going to my room, I put on my pajamas and then went upstairs to CC and Andy. Half way up the stairs, my back ached. By the time I got to Andy’s room, it throbbed. CC was asleep so I quietly woke him up and switched places with him. CC decided to go sleep in the guest room since it was really late instead of driving home. the last thought that went through my head before I was out for the night was, I hope things get better for all of us, especially Andy.

Notes

well did anyone see that coming? anyone hate me yet? haha its only beginning (;
well this update is a lot closer to the last one! yay! I've been busy. again. but here I am all alone and lonely on a Saturday night. I went to Wall-Mart earlier with my friends today and we were getting dirty looks for some of the things that were said. most of them came from my mom. it was REALLY funny. 361 comments. I can never thank you guys enough. 13,349 views. 76 subscribers. 42 votes. I am so happy to have all of that. I can never thank you guys enough. I think of my stories like that they are an empire. I built this empire on a sole idea and its grown this much. I cant believe its gone this far. this is the most I've ever gotten before and its slowly fading away again.

please please please let me know what you think. I know we were once on the popular list. we were very high up on that list. if we can make it back on that list, I will update as much as I can and I'll do everything I can to stay there. but to get there, I need your help. I want this because I want to prove to people that I can do it. some don't think I'm that great of a writer and getting on that list would prove them wrong so many times over. please. even if we don't make the list, I just want to know what you guys think. no one reviews anymore and its kinda tragic. when this first came out it was what is this? its great! now its just like :yay an update .update soon and that's like once every 5 chapters.

I can never thank you enough for getting this story to this point. I couldn't have done it without you. I LOVE YOU! stay strong. we'll brave this storm together I promise. if you need someone to talk to I'm here. we are the fallen angels and we're going to set the world on fire and change the world with these guitars.