CC’s POV

Out of all the things Ashley could have told us, I was not expecting him to tell us he had cancer. After a long time of crying and hugging, we calmed down. Andy dawn asked softly, “Did your hair fall out?” Ash nodded and tears fell from his eyes. Andy held him tight as he cried and Jake held Andy Dawn. Jinxx was hugging me and breaking down a little bit. It seemed that I had to be the strong one for all of them. Jinxx was the first to calm down. Once he calmed down, he disappeared to the bathroom to fix him self up before returning to the room. After him, Jake calmed down and I held Andy Dawn as he cleaned him self up. Andy Dawn’s make up was literally all over her face. She looked like a clown gone wrong. Jake returned and Andy Dawn went to the bathroom not long after. When she finally returned, her make up was removed and she looked better. She sat down next to me and put her head on my chest and sniffled a little bit.

Andy held Ashley as he continued to cry. “How about me, Jake and Jinxx go get something to bring back for dinner with Andy Dawn?” Andy said, “Yeah that’d be a good idea. It’s getting near dinner time.” nodding, we all grabbed a jacket and headed out. “How about we have a race. Jinxx on Jake and Andy Dawn on me and we run from here to the elevator.” They nodded and got ready. “1-2-2 and a half-3. Go!” and we then ran down the hall. I ran ahead of Jake but he quickly caught up. With the end point in sight, I ran faster and faster until we won. Andy Dawn got off of me and then said; “we won! In your faces biotches!” to Jake and Jinxx. They shrugged and we all got in the elevator. “No more pizza guys! I have an idea. Lets go to the grocery store!” Andy Dawn said.


Following the maps on our phones, we ended up at a Safeway. Andy Dawn led the way around the store. We picked up frozen lasagna, which you could put in the microwave, some French bread, chocolate cake, salad and some frozen vegetable. Lets just say, Mama Jinxx and little Andy made it their mission to make us eat healthy tonight. I’m scared. Like what if it tastes bad or I die from it being healthy? Jinxx slapped me up side the head for thinking that and said, “If anything, the junk food would kill your sorry ass.” I flipped him off and he said, “Do you want me to break your finger?” I nodded no and Andy Dawn laughed at me. The trip back was quick and actually quite funny. Imagine watching four guys and a 14 year old get on the bus with groceries and really tight pants and all black clothes. A lady looked at us and then did the sign of the cross and said a prayer as we walked past her. We all fought the urge to laugh.

Andy Dawn being the Andy Dawn we love, purposely said, “alright guys, we got the goat head, sage, frog toes, pig blood and the eye of newt. All we need is the ear of dog and we’re ready. Anything else you guys can think of that we need?” Jake caught on and replied, “uh I think we need the book of spells and the robes and we’re set.” The lady freaked out a little bit but remained calm. Jinxx decided to play along and said, “so we have the sacrifice right? Ash is ready, right?” I smiled and said, “oh yeah. He’ll be ready by tomorrow. Cant wait to see it all happen!”


The lady said another prayer and Andy Dawn continued on saying, “do you think leader will be happy? We brought all that he required. I hope he’s happy. Last time he wasn’t happy, well it wasn’t a pretty sight. I hope we got everything he asked for.” I chimed in saying, “he made me carry all of his stuff because he was mad. Brett shouldn’t have doubled crossed him. I’m going to miss that guy. He was pretty chill.” Andy Dawn fake sobbed and said, “I have a confession guys, we we’re dating when he died. I loved him so much.” Jinxx gasped and said, “leader wont be happy to hear that either. We wont tell promise. Doll called last night. She said that she missed us. I miss her. I wish we could go home but we’re lucky we’re able to talk to our family on the phone.”

This was awesome! The lady was freaking out. Serves her right I suppose. She judged us based on our long hair and tight jeans. Our shirts were normal and nothing spectacular. Andy Dawn had on grey skinny jeans and black converse with a Ronnie Radke shirt on and a black cardigan. We all looked like normal people but she was quick to judge. Andy dawn sighed and said, “ I wish leader would let Ash go. He’s the only family I have left other than you guys and my siblings. I miss them. I haven’t seen them in months.” I hugged her and said, “we’re all hear for you. Especially after what Dad said this afternoon. Forever and always we will be here.” Andy dawn smiled and said thank you and then walked up to the lady and said, “Hope you enjoyed our skit for Drama class. its about people being quick to judge when they don’t know the story behind someone and why they are the way they are. It was also an experiment. Just because we wear black doesn’t mean we worship the devil. We are human beings just like you. We feel emotion and we feel all that you feel. Don’t judge someone on their appearance, isn’t that something stated in the bible?” and then she walked back to us. The lady looked mortified.

Our stop came up and we got off and went into the hotel. “THAT WAS FREAKING AWESOME ANDY DAWN!” Jake said. She smiled and said, “I know right! That was brilliant. That is so on the list of best tour pranks. I still think the whole leaving Brett and his band behind was hilarious!” we all laughed at the memories and calmed down before we went into the room. Andy was still hugging Ash but it looked like Ash was calmer. As we walked further into the room, Andy whispered, “he fell asleep not long ago.” we all nodded and prepared dinner quietly. Ash was asleep for a good hour while we cooked and set up the table. Andy sat there holding him close as he slept. That’s what I love about these guys. No matter what stupid fight we could get in, we’re still there for each other even when mad. Andy will sit with someone and hold them in his arms until their okay. I think he does it because he knows that they can’t hurt themselves if there in his arms and feeling loved. He loves all of us so much and we all love him so much.

Jake’s quiet most of the time but he’s loud and silly when everyone else is. In fact, on a good day, he and I could stand toe to toe with who would be louder. He and Andy Dawn go on adventures for hours on end and we see the pictures they took when they return. Those two are pretty close, after her attempt, she got closer with everyone, especially her dad but we all got closer to her, even more than before if that was possible. When she attempted, I was scared. How could my 14-year-old niece be bullied so bad that she tried to take her own life? I’m worried that when she eventually has to return to school, things could return to the way they are.

Jinxx is our Mama bear but he means well. If it weren’t for him, we’d be late for EVERYTHING. We give him a bad time about his smelly feet and the garbage can man nickname but we do it because we love him. Ash is like the silly older brother that gives you all the information you didn’t really want to know. He’s also a great listener and advice giver. He’s pretty smart. The one thing that surprisingly took a while to get used to was the fact that he wasn’t a womanizer anymore. Sure he would still look at ladies in the store and flirt when none of his kids were around but he didn’t take anyone home. He actually kept his dick to himself for once. That’s incredible.

My mind began to wander and my thoughts returned to the girl I met in the hospital, Breaneka. I wonder how she’s doing. We’ve talked as much as we could with the whole time difference and tour schedule being crazy. She’s incredibly nice and incredibly beautiful. I liked her from the moment I met her but the more and more I talk to her, the more and more I like her. When I talk to her or when I’m with her, she brings out another side of me. The side only the guys usually see.

Waving her hand in front of me, Andy dawn poked me and said, “Dinner’s ready!” I nodded and went to the table. Andy gently woke up Ash and helped him to the table to eat. We all sat around and then ate and talked a little bit about tour and tried to avoid the topic of Ash’s cancer. He was trying to act like nothing happened, but his façade was cracking. When we finished Dinner, we all went back to the couch and beds and hung out. Andy Dawn kept hugging him and telling him she loved him. She lost her mom to cancer, she’s probably afraid she’s going to lose him too. But he said he’s in remission so we should remain positive. It still scares me to know that we could have lost him while we were gone and we wouldn’t have known until we got a phone call from somebody.

It was around 10:30 when we called it a night. Jinxx volunteered to stay the night with him so the rest of us could go back to our rooms. We all bid them good night and headed back to our floor. our prank on Andy was still on for Tomorrow and since tomorrow would be busy, he wouldn’t have a chance to change. Our plan is to wait for him to be dead asleep then we’re going to take his suitcase and put the bag of clothes in his room and then we’re not going to let him change. The real seal to this deal is that Andy slept in only his boxers. So when I snuck in there and took ALL of his clothes, he would only have the clothes we left. MUAHAHA I am one of the evil geniuses!

Going to Andy Dawn and mine’s room, we set up the plan and got ready to put it in gear. We waited for Andy to fall asleep and then I snuck into his room and she was outside of the door holding the door open. Sneaking in, I saw him asleep with his back to his bag and facing the opposite direction. Snatching his bag, I replaced it with our bag and then quickly scanned the room for his other clothes. When I came up with nothing, I quietly left and Andy Dawn shut the door softly. When we were in the safety of our own room, down the hall we then spoke.

“That was awesome! You were so silent!” Andy Dawn said with a grin. I put Andy’s bag in the closet next to my bag and then put my jacket it over in case he decided to look for it. Crawling into my bed, I turned the light off and said, “Night Andy Dawn, sleep tight little one.” she responded, “don’t tell me what to do!” and I laughed and she then continued, “Night CC. I can’t wait to see the fruit of our labor in the morning.” She then began to giggle and for the next half hour she giggled and laughed. Getting out of bed, I covered her mouth with my hand and she licked me. “That’s gross!” I told her. She laughed on and on and said,” that’s…what…you…get…” in between laughs. I shook my head and then threw a pillow at her. She still was laughing. Covering my ears, I tried to fall asleep.

She finally calmed down and then drifted to sleep. Some amount of time later, I was woken by her having a nightmare. She was crying and kept mumbling, “please, don’t leave me. Please. I need you Daddy. Please.” my heart broke into pieces. Her nightmare was about losing Ash. I got out of my bed and went to her bed and tried to comfort her. When she calmed down, I tucked her back in and then got back in my bed and watched her for a bit to make sure she was sleeping peacefully before I fell into a world of sleep.


Andy’s POV

When the guys left, Ash broke down more. He must’ve been holding it all in because he didn’t want Andy Dawn to see him like this. It was heart breaking. He clung to me like a child does when their scared. I held him close as he cried and cried and cried. Every so often he would confess something. “I was so scared I was going to die and not get to say good bye to you guys.,” he told me as soon as the guys and Andy Dawn left. He later on told me, “it hurt so much I didn’t want to do it but I did it so I would be here for Andy Dawn and the little ones. I couldn’t leave them like Mckendrie did. Not now.” a while later he said, “I wanted to give in at one point but I didn’t. The feeling of the blade called me at times. Being in the hospital was the one thing that helped me from relapsing. That scared me too. Then Sammi Doll caught me getting sick from the Chemo and I told her. She helped me stay strong.”


Ash has been through so much in the last 8 months it’s horrible. He lost his fiancée, relapsed, got in a car accident, his daughter attempted suicide, he found out he had cancer and is trying to recover from an eating disorder. I wouldn’t blame him for wanting to relapse but I’m so glad he didn’t. We all owe a lot to Sammi Doll. She’s incredible. Lately, Juliet and Me have been having problems. She’s been really moody and short with me. We’re fighting a lot but every time we fight, I make sure we sit down and try and talk it out. She knows my tour schedule and she’s on tour right now briefly so its not like I planned to be away from her for so long but she acts like I wanted it. I love her more than anything though. I apologize for everything she says I do wrong and I even try to plan little special romantic dates but she cancels on me at the last minute.

The guys don’t know it but we’ve had over lapping schedules three times now and she says she’s ‘busy’ and cant meet up for even 15 minutes. I know its not true because I see her twitter saying that she’s bored or someone should hang out with her. She’s slowly pushing me away and it hurts. I can’t do anything about it. It feels like she doesn’t love me anymore.

Ash’s breathing evened out, he cried him self to sleep. I held him close. Tears then fell down my cheeks. I cried for Ash, I cried for Andy Dawn, I cried for Juliet and I just cried. My breathing was out of control and uneven. I carefully set Ash down in the bed and went to the bathroom. Sitting on the floor against the door, I wrapped my arms around my legs and curled up into a ball and cried. My breathing was so out of whack that I gave my self an anxiety attack. I don’t have anxiety but I do get little attacks on occasion. Taking a deep breath, I tried to calm down but that made it worse. Trying again, I calmed down a tad bit and unlocked the bathroom door and went to hug Ash again. He may not have needed it but I sure as hell did. I hope things pick up from here; there’s been too much crying.

Notes

hey turtles. idk what that was about. felt like saying it really. so here's the next chappie. again I have no idea when the next chapter may be up. it could be tomorrow night or next week. it depends on my homework load and my sleep deprived mind. I miss sleep. school is a pain in the butt. not my thing some days Its all good, others not so much.

I found the videos from the warped tour date I went to. I cried for a moment when I realized what it truly meant to me. I met one of the nicest people I've ever met there during BVB's set. a quick random thought and act of kindness turned into a friendship i'll never forget.

so other than my normal message of:

stay strong, never give in and never back down, we are the fallen angels so lets set the world on fire.

I'd like to say take a chance on someone. I took a girl's phone and took pictures for her by chance. it could have been someone else but I picked her. and you know what, I'm glad I did. that girl changed my life. so please take a chance on someone and do an act of kindess. show the world that their is humanity left.