Andy’s POV


I do not understand what is making Andy Dawn act so mean to Ash. He is literally at the edge of everything. He tries his hardest to please her and make her happy. he took her phone away on Halloween and gave it back a few days later but he has yet to give back her door and it’s the middle of November. He will just be sitting somewhere minding his own business or doing something with one of the little ones and then she starts yelling at him. he takes it and doesn’t once complain, never yells or raises his voice. trying to get her to stop is like telling CC no monsters before bed, pointless because he somehow manages to end up with one.



Thanks’s giving is in a few days and we all plan on having dinner together since it is Ash’s first thanks giving with them and their first one without their mom. Any ways, focus Biersack! its math and I need to learn this shiz so I can graduate and then get a diploma and then Ash and everyone and my parents will be proud of me! when class ended, I walked out and to my English class. of course, nothing in life can ever be easy. Three jocks stood in my way. I tried to get pass them but it didn’t work. yeah they don’t exactly know that I’m 23. they think I’m 18, 19 at most. Ha dumbfucks. We stood equal in height but they had more muscle then my skinny little ass did. well this is great. just great. look what you’re going to get your self into Biersack.

Turning around, I tried to walk in the other direction. I’d rather be late to class then get expelled for fighting. Someone grabbed me and roughly made me face them. “look what we got here Jack. A skinny little emo fag.” I ignored him. I can’t get expelled or suspended. He grabbed my shoulder and held on it with his meaty hand. “let go of me.” I said peacefully.

“oh look Jack, he thinks he can boss me around. well that can’t happen.” His other hand then met the side of my head. Stumbling I said, “stop.” they didn’t stop. all three of them started hitting me. fists came at me in all directions and it was pissing me off. we all know how the golden gods ended, do we need a more violent response? Nope. But I think it might happen if they don’t stop.

someone hit me in the stomach and I fell to my knees. Another hand came at my jaw and I then fell to the ground. I was kicked in the sides and then spit on. “that’s what you get when you’re stupid little sister doesn’t do what she’s told. Next time, it’ll be her.”the bell rang and I was left in the hall lying there. it hurt too much to get up. I closed my eyes for a bit. opening my eyes, I saw that I was in the nurse’s office. Sitting up I asked, “Where am I?”

“hello sweetie. You’re in my office. You were found in the hall beaten up pretty good.” nodding I asked, “can I go back to class?” she laughed and said, “no. sorry kid. Your dad was called. He’s on his way to take you home to rest.” “can you tell him not to come. I don’t want to bother him, I’m fine.” She laughed again and said, “too late. He’s signing you out now.” nodding I slowly got up and grabbed my bag before thanking her and leaving the room.

“look who finally got his butt kicked!” I flipped him off as we got in the car. “the guy who hit me mentioned Andy Dawn.” He nodded and tensed up. “Ash, you need to go back to therapy. I think it would be for the best. Maybe have her see someone too. you don’t deserve what she’s putting you through.” He slammed on the breaks before pulling over.

“I know okay. I don’t like feeling shitty but I have no other fucking option. She either takes it out on me or she takes it out on Jinxx. I prefer me. it breaks my heart and it stings but its how its going to be.” He got out of the car and then walked around it and kicked a few rocks.

“Ash. You know what I mean. You’re not talking to us. you’ve barely said anything in the past few weeks. We’re all worried about you.” he shook his head and answered, “I’m okay. Always have been, always will be. Simple as that.” pulling him into a hug I said, “I know your not. its okay to not be okay but you need to talk. You can’t keep bottling it up. You’re going to reach your point again and then what?”

“I don’t know okay. I don’t know and I’m scared.”

“I know Ash, its okay to be scared but you can’t bottle up how you feel. You know how it ended last time. a hospital trip and stitches and a 3 day suicide watch. It ended up like that three times before. ever think why your still here? Them. those four kids. If you died, they wouldn’t be here.”

“if I wasn’t here, Mckendrie would be and they wouldn’t hate me.”

“they don’t hate you. Andy maybe angry for some reason but she doesn’t hate you.”

“she does. she’s almost said it before.”

“she hasn’t though. Remember that. me and the guys cant go on without you. You’re our bass player and your not going anywhere. You’re also out best friend.”

he smiled a little bit and said, “yeah. remember how I met you?”

“how could I forget?”

“in my defense, that was a crazy day.” he said smiling.

“well, I’m glad we met. Your one of my best friends and I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

he hugged me and said, “thanks man. I needed that.” smiling I stood and helped him up. getting back in the car, we jammed out to what ever was on the radio and acted like 14 year olds. He was laughing and having a good time. getting home, we told the guys about me getting beat up. CC found it hilarious and said, “well, you’ve called out how many people and well, now your finally getting the end of all your calling out.”

“how? Those people deserved it. I didn’t do anything today.” he flipped me off and went to get another can of monster. Ash looked like he was starting to sink in his thoughts so I ran to the couch and yelled, “Dog pile!” and then we all sat on him. we got off and then hugged him and smothered him in love. He smiled and shook his head. “I know I’m sexy but damn.” He said. CC threw his hands in the air and yelled, “Purdy the Perv is back! hallelujah! I thought we lost him!”

Ash flipped him off and then stuck his tongue out at us. mamma Jinxx then said, “back to work guys, the record company wants the album done by January.” Sighing, we all returned to work before it was time to pick the kiddies up from school. After we picked them up, we called work a day and then went to Ash’s to hang out. after Andy dawn tweeted that Ash had an eating disorder (which he deleted 3 seconds later) the world still found out. people have been harassing him since. We all sat him down and talked it out. he admitted that his anxiety was making him not hungry and his attacks were to the point where he would throw up.


Since then, we’ve tried to help him as much as possible. He looks a lot better. his cheeks aren’t so hollow and his eyes aren’t sunken as bad. His ribs don’t stick out as bad but they still do a little bit. the arguments with Andy Dawn recently have ended with him actually raising his voice a bit. her door is still of and I doubt she’s getting it anytime soon. he took her computer and only lets her use it for school purposes only and her phone to the point where she only has it at school to call us if she needs us and she isn’t allowed to watch any TV or movies.

He even took her Uggs that he bought and locked them away. she still won’t behave though. She was even more pissed off today then she was yesterday. Jake said something to Jinxx that didn’t involve him and she told him to shut the fuck up. that resulted in her going to bed at 8. Ash is doing his best with everything but he’s still struggling. He’s not happy anymore. sure he smiles but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. His laugh sounds forced and he just doesn’t look happy.

The guys and me are doing our best to help him but he still struggles and cant get out of what he’s in. I was going to the kitchen to get water one night and I heard him crying softly. Andy Dawn is getting meaner and meaner. She doesn’t snap at me though. She does it to everyone else but me. its odd but I’m thankful. I just want to know where the kid we first brought home went. She was wonderful because now, she’s nothing like that.


Jinxx noticed that her sister was meaner and tried to avoid her but at times, it was difficult. I can’t believe she chewed her out like she’s done. Jinxx is telling me about what she did in class. Andy Dawn walked into the room and sat down on the couch. Jinxx got up and said to her, “guess what we did in school today Andy!”

Andy looked at her and evilly said, “ I don’t care. What’s pathetic is that you think I care but I don’t. so leave me alone you stupid brat.” She ran away crying. Ash came into the room and said, “Andrea Dawn Purdy, what did you say to your sister?”

She laughed and said, “using my full name now? real grown up of you. besides she’s your daughter, why don’t you ask her.”

“I’m sick and fucking tired of you speaking to your sister like that. It’s not okay. Never has been and never will be.”

“ you need to wake the fuck up and come to the real world and also grow the fuck up.”

“excuse me? who is telling their FATHER to grow up?”

“your not my father. I don’t love you. your stupid to think I ever loved you.”

“words hurt, Andrea. Chose them wisely.”

“You need to grow up and be a man instead of a fucking drag queen.”

“Okay. What can I do to do that?”

“Just leave the fuck alone. I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t want to be anywhere near you.”

“If that is what you want, fine. Stay here with Jinxx and Sammi or find someone else to take you in for while. I’m still your father and I still love you but your really starting to upset me.”

“Oh look at the drag queen trying to be all mature and shit. Once a whore, always whore. You will always be a man slut no matter what you do. Stop trying to deny it, because it’s always going be true.”

“Someone take her for the night, I’ll bring you clothes or whatever she needs but I can’t take her home. I just need a break.Andrea, I hope you’re happy. You got the one thing you wanted. I’m leaving. I’ll see you tomorrow or whatever.”


He then picked up Kellin and Eve and walked out with Jinxx by his side. We all turned to Andrea and she flipped us off and ran to somewhere in the house. Sammi followed her to talk while me and the guys went into the kitchen. It was silent for a few minutes before someone finally spoke.

“What are we going to do?” Jake asked. Taking a deep breath I said, “we figure out why she’s acting like this and then we put a stop to it. I don’t think Ash can go another fight with her. It’s breaking him down every time.”

“At this point, trying to get him to stop cutting would be pointless. For every thing we tell him, she tells him 10 more things. All we can do is help him out and make sure nothing bad happens.” Jake said as he shrugged. The feeling that no matter what we did, we would be useless was awful. It made me feel like I wasn’t doing the one thing I promised myself all those years ago to do: protect Ash. Everyone thinks he’s a flirt but he’s not. He’s Shy like Jake and only when he is drunk or had a few drinks is he a flirt or loud like CC.


Ash’s Pov

Walking out of Jinxx’s house, the feeling of failure over took me. I failed Andy Dawn and that’s why she hates me so much. What did I do? I support her as much as possible, buy her the things she asks for, and take her wherever she wants to go, and loved her as much as possible. Jinxx was quiet the entire ride home. Eve and Kellin slept peacefully and had no clue of what was going on. Pulling into the garage, we all got out (I had Kellin and Eve in my arms) and went inside.

“Jinxx, do you want to watch a movie?” she nodded and ran to her room to put her pajamas on. Putting Kellin on my chest, eve cuddled into one side of me and Jinxx cuddled into the other. Halfway through the movie, all three of them fell asleep. When the movie ended, I took all of them to bed and tucked them in. sitting on my bed, I read through twitter. Responding to the fans who tweeted me pictures of stuff they bought from my website and also tattoos that were BVB. I also stumbled across an account that sent me hate on every single tweet I posted. To experiment I tweeted, “ its cute when your little ones fall asleep on you but it’s a pain caring three small children up a flight of stairs and you don’t want to wake them up. ;)”

The person sent “ go kill your self.” “No wants you here.” “Die bitch.” “Emo fag.” “Seriously, go cut your self and cry to your momma that no one likes you. Oh wait you don’t even have a mom. She didn’t even want you.” “Kill your self already. Make my day!” “I hate you. You can’t even play the bass that well.” “BVB should start looking for a new bass player now.” “Seriously, a monkey could play the Bass better than you.” “Just kill yourself. Everyone wants you too.” “BVB doesn’t really care about their Bass player. They pretend to like him. They don’t. One of the guys told me so. They don’t care about him. He also said that they wish he would get the memo already.” “I hate you with a burning passion.” “Hey Man Whore. I hope you get AIDS and then die. No one cares about you. They’re just pretending.” “I wish you would die already.”


This person didn’t know me and yet they hated me with a passion. Tears rolled down my cheeks. I tweeted, “words hurt. They can break a person. Chose them wisely.” Going into Andy Dawn’s room, I looked around. Going to her closet, I pulled out all of the clothes I just bought. Taking them up to the third floor, I threw them into the room and then locked the door. Going back to my room, I stood in front of the mirror. Fat was all I saw. Poking my sides, I felt fatter than a whale. Going into the bathroom, I found what I was looking for and then locked the door. Sitting against the door, I played with the blade in between my fingers. Pulling my pants down, I cried at the sight of my thighs. There was barley any clean, non-cut skin anymore.

Pushing the blade down, I cut away my pain. It left me as I bleed. I watched as blood seeped out and went everywhere. Once it finally stopped bleeding, I cleaned it all up and then went to my bed. My thoughts began to drown me in despair. Getting up, I limped my way down stairs. Going through the drawers, I found my depression pills and took 4 pills. Walking back up stairs, I thought about ending it all. But I stopped those thoughts. I couldn’t leave Kellin, Eve, Jinxx or Andy like that. Getting into bed, I closed my eyes and let sleep take me.

Notes

hey guys! here's the next chapter!!!! thanks for being amazing! i love you guys!

the message of this chapter is that words really do hurt, chose what you say wisely. what Andy Dawn says to Ash hurts him deeply. so if someone says stuff like that to you, you are an amazing, beautiful person and that person is lying. their trying to stop you from reaching your full potential because their unhappy.

you all are beautiful in your own ways and are important. never forget that. and if you say stuff like that to people here's a big: FUCK OFF. you don't know what people feel or think when you say stuff to them that hurts. you sure as hell wouldn't like being told that so why would tell someone that?

stay strong. Never give in, never back down. we are the fallen Angels and lets set this world on fire and show them what we can accomplish. <3
-Ash