Ash’s Pov


I was woken up by the sound of Kellin’s crying. Getting out of bed I went to his room to see what the problem was. Picking him up, I noticed he was warm. Taking him to his changing table, I changed is diaper and then took him down stairs so his cries wouldn’t wake anyone else. My leg throbbed horribly as I walked but I did my best to not let it stop me. I have absolutely no clue on what to do. Breath Ash breathes. Don’t have a panic attack. Breathe. Going into the kitchen, I turned the lights on that were under the cabinets. Opening the freezer, I grabbed a few ice packs and then some towels from a drawer. I set him in the middle of the island. Pulling his clothes off, I put the now dampened towel on his tummy. I sang to him softly as I tried to cool him down. The clock on the microwave read 2:15. I carried him up stairs and then back to his crib. I looked for the thermometer and then took his temperature. It came back a few minutes later at 102.3. Shit that’s too high. I packed a bag and then picked Kellin up and went down stairs. Sighing, I woke Andy up.



He was pissed at first when he saw the time but when it told him Kellin was sick he understood and said, “I’ll stay here, take him to the hospital.” I thanked him and then headed to the garage. Putting him in his car seat, I tried to wake my self up as I pulled out of the garage. I must’ve only had three hours of sleep. Twenty minutes later I pulled up to the hospital. I parked the car and then walked quickly into the ER. Standing in line, I waited to see the nurse at the front desk. She asked what I needed and I said, “my new born son has a fever of 102.3.” she nodded and asked for my information. Minutes later we were being taken back to see someone. The nurses took his temperature again and then put in an IV. They put him in a special little bed for him and didn’t let me hold him. I sat next to him and had my head in my hands as we waited to find out what his diagnosis was. Some amount of time passed before a doctor came into see us. “Hello, I’m Dr. Vizio. I read your son’s file and then reviewed the tests we took. It seems he has the flu. Because he is very young, we would like to admit him so we can nurse him back to health. You brought him in just in time, if his fever was any higher, he could suffer from a seizure or other serious side affects and live with a disability for the rest of his life.” oh my god. “We would like to give him some antibiotics and an keep him on an IV.” “His mother had cancer and found out while she was pregnant. She died of it a week or so ago.”


“Alright, we’re going to run a few tests to make sure that isn’t affecting him also. We are going to admit him to the babies’ ward. So I need you to sign some paper work.” nodding I quickly read the papers and then signed them. The nurse came and said after the doctor left, “alright so we’re going to take him up to the third floor. Unfortunately you will not be able to visit him unless it’s visiting hours. We will let you stay with him until he is better but if anything gets worse, you will be asked to leave the room.” nodding, I followed closely as she transported him to the 3rd floor. The room he was put in had four other babies and three nurses that checked on them every 15 minutes. I sat and watched him sleep and prayed he would be okay. Checking my phone, I had 30 texts from Andy, which, I didn’t get because my phone was on silent. He wanted to know what was going on.


I sent him a text saying, “they think he has the flu. He has a fever of 102.3 and they admitted him. I’m up there in the room right now but they might kick me out soon.” Deep breathe Ash Deep breath. Stay calm. He replied, “okay. What are you going to do?” I sent back, “I don’t know. I’m afraid to leave. Do the guys know? Will you be okay with the kids? I can come back and get Eve so that when you go to school its Jinxx, Andy and you.” he replied, “Jinxx came and got Eve when I told him what happened. CC and Jake Know. Do you want them to come stay with you?” I replied, “okay. I should be fine. It’s like 3 am. Let them sleep or what ever I’ll be okay.” The nurse came and said, “sir. I understand you have a child that is sick but I’m going to have to ask you to leave. You can wait in the waiting room outside the room or you may go home. We will call you if anything changes.” I looked down at Kellin and said, “Fight on little one. It’s not time to see Mommy just yet. Daddy still needs you. I love you. Always and forever.” The nurse gave me a sad smile and I left the room with my head down. Spotting the chairs outside the room, I realized I was still in my pajamas. Well that’s not awkward, least I have a shirt on.


Sitting down, I realized my cut started to bleed a little but. Well fuck me and call me Suzy. Going to the bathroom, I locked the stall door and cleaned my leg up as best as possible. Once that was done, I washed my hands and returned to sitting outside the room. Hours could have passed, I don’t know because I sat there scared and with my head in my hands. Light came in through a near by window. The same Nurse came by tapped my shoulder. Looking up she said, “ His fever went down to 102.1. Its an improvement.” Nodding she sat down next to me. “You told him that it wasn’t time to see Mommy yet. If I may ask, why?” I took a deep breath and said as I looked at the ground, “His mom died almost two weeks ago. She had cancer. She never told me we had 4 kids. I missed out on my eldest daughters childhood and I never got to tell her how I really felt.” She gave me a sad smile and said, “I’m sure she knew. I’ve seen most dads’ walk away for a few hours but you’ve been here almost the entire time. I’m sorry for your loss.” I nodded and said, “Is Kellin going to be okay?” she replied, “his case of the flu was in the first stages. If it went on longer, he would be sicker and have a lot harder time of recovery but he will recover and be okay. His age is hard to tell if he will have anything wrong with him when he gets older but he will be okay. I have to return to my rounds before my shift ends. I wish you and your family well.” And then she was gone.



I could only imagine how I looked. My eyes we’re probably red from crying and my hair was probably a mess and I was in my pajamas. My head felt like someone kicked it and then put sand in my eyes. I was beyond tired. Lying down in the chairs, I closed my eyes for only a moment. Sleep finally took me and captured me for hours. I was woken up by someone shaking me. Opening my eyes, I saw a nurse. “Hi are you Kellin’s dad?” nodding I sat up. She said, “you can visit him for a short time.” nodding, I followed her back into the room. Handing me a facemask she said “put this on. His immune system can’t handle any out side germs because it’s fighting this off.” she also handed me hand sanitizer after she told me to wash my hands. When I finished she handed me Kellin and I sat in the chair by his bed. “Hi little buddy. It’s daddy. I’m glad your fever is going down. You scared me little man.” The nurse smiled before going to attend to the other babies. Shortly after I had been there a while, another mom came into visit her child. She was older kept sending me dirty looks. I was confused I did nothing to her. Haven’t said anything to her and she acts like I’m filth.


The nurse came and checked on Kellin again before leaving to attend to the other babies. The lady kept sending me glares. I sat there with Kellin for a long time and the Lady kept giving me looks. Trying to ignore he I focused on Kellin. “How are you little man? Daddy could use some food but I’m okay. I bet your hungry a little bit. Why don’t we ask the nice nurses if I could get something for you? How about that little guy?” when the nurse came around again I asked if he could be given a bottle. She replied yes and wandered off to get me one. I fed him and watched him closely. When I was done with the bottle the nurse whispered to me, “I’m sorry about the dirty looks that woman keeps giving you. Mrs. Smith is a very difficult woman who is a very strict and proper woman. She especially hates rock music. I personally cant stand her but I do the best to keep her child healthy that way she isn’t here very often.” I smiled and said, “It’s fine. I’ve gone through a lot. It’s not the best but I don’t care. I’m worried about my son more than myself at this point.”


The nurse changed his diaper and took him to the special area where they did it to make sure that he contracted no bacteria or germs in his bedding. When the nurse wasn’t around the lady said to me, “go to hell devil worshiper. You’re ruining that child. He’s going to turn out like a little faggot like you. Do what’s best and give him to someone who can care for him unlike your sorry excuse as a father.” This lady was a bitch. She did not just insult my son. Oh hell no. This wont end well. Deep breathe Ash. Deep breathe. “Excuse me Ma’am. You do not know me at all. I do all that I can for my son. He and my other children are my entire world. YOU don’t know what I’ve been through. His mother, my fiancée died a week ago. She was the love of my life, I would give everything I could for her to be here but she’s gone. So don’t tell me I’m not a good father when you don’t know what I’ve given up or been through.” She scoffed and said, “ Go to hell with the rest of your kind. No one likes your kind.” Oh so now your discriminating me for being Native American? Are you fucking kidding me? Oh my fucking gosh. I can’t win for losing. Please nurse return soon! “Ma’am, I ask you to please leave me alone. I will not bother you. Please just leave me alone and go back to your child. Oh and I cant help who I am. I am god’s creation. He created me this way so if you have a problem, consult him not me. Have a blessed day.” and smiled sweetly.



She spit on me after she slapped me. The nurse was returning with Kellin, saw and heard everything and called security. “I am so sorry that occurred sir. Is there anything I can do for you?” she asked. “No. I’m fine. Thank you though.”She nodded and handed me Kellin and then went back to her duties. My thoughts wandered but I tried to focus on Kellin. Was I a bad dad? Was everyone going to hate him like they hated me? Was I going to ruin him? My thoughts got darker and darker as time went on. Checking my phone I read that it was 9:50 and I had 70 messages and 20 missed calls. I sent the guys a message saying, “been here the entire time. His fever went down a tiny bit. He’s doing a little better.” CC replied first saying, “do you need anything?” I sent back, “some clothes would be nice. I forgot to change, I’m still wearing my pajamas and slippers.’ He replied, “nice bro. Okay so anything particular?” “Nope. Just clothes. Nothing messed up man. I know you.” I sent back. He replied, “okay fine. Lol see you soon. What floor are you on?” “3.” I sent back.


Andy sent, “me and the girls got to school okay. Juliet dropped us off.” “Okay thanks. Tell Andy I’m sorry I wasn’t there this morning.” I sent. He replied, “its fine. She knows what happened.” “Kay get back to class kid.” I got no further response from him. Jinxx said, “ Sammi doll and me have Eve. She’s doing fine. Do you need anything?” I replied, “nope. CC is bringing me clothes.” He replied, “alright. Let me know if that changes.” Jake sent me, “ I’m coming with CC. We’ll be there soon.” I sent back, “alright.” I then returned to my focus on the baby in my arms. Time ticked on and I heard the door open. Thinking nothing of it I remained with my eyes on Kellin. I was tapped on the shoulder and looked up to see Jake and CC in front of me. Thanking them for the clothes, I waited until the nurse came around again and introduced them before going to change. As I walked to the bathroom, I focused my attention on not limping. Going into the bathroom, I opened the bag to see a t-shirt and black jeans. Changing my shirt first, I then slid my jeans down to check my cuts out. They looked okay. Changing into the jeans, I hissed as the denim hit the area that was torn up. Of course they pick a pair of freaking tight jeans. This is going to hurt all day now. Fuck. Putting on the converse they brought, I then walked out of the bathroom and attempted to tame my crazy hair. Looking in the mirror, I looked a lot better and then headed back to the room.



As I was about to walk into the room I heard the nurse telling Jake and CC about the lady from earlier. I actually forgot about that. I waited a few moments for them to reply and the walked into the room and acted clueless. Jake handed me Kellin after I put a mask back on. We sat around for a while in silence before Jake said, “the nurse told us about the lady. Did you plan on telling us?” why do they like playing that card. its freaking irritating. “Actually, I forgot. I tried to ignore her the entire time but she wouldn’t have it and confronted me. I focused on Kellin and then she said what she said to me. Its nothing I haven’t been called before.” he patted my shoulder and then was quiet for a while. A while later CC complained he was hungry so Jake went with him to get something. As they were leaving, he asked if I wanted anything. I replied, “Nah I’m good.” he told CC he would meet him at the car and then said to me as he kneeled in front of me, “you’re not playing that game with me. I bet, no guarantee you haven’t eaten in a long time. You can’t do this to yourself. I know you get upset and then you don’t want to eat but you need to.” Sighing I said, “fine. Get me something. I don’t know.”


He nodded and then left. Why does he have to be so smart sometimes? He was originally the one who caught on that I sometimes don’t eat for days. Some would say I have an eating disorder but I don’t believe it. Sometimes, I just don’t want to eat. I could go a day or more without food but when the guys are around, they make sure I eat it and don’t get sick. Knowing him, he’s going to order me something and literally feed it to me if I refuse. Time passed again and a while later they returned with a bag of food.CC cleaned up and then took Kellin from me while Jake forced me out of the room to eat. He literally picked me up by my ear and dragged me out to the chairs outside of the room. “The sooner you eat, the sooner you can return to the room.” I pretended he wasn’t there for a while but he wouldn’t have any of it. I ignored him as I heard him open the bag of food. What shocked me was when he literally tried to pry my mouth open and shove food in it. I opened my mouth and then bite him. “Oh my fucking gosh. You fucking bit me. What the fuck Ash?” I smirked and said, “ I know. I was there.”


He groaned and said, “not this Ash. Not this. Please just eat it and be done with it. The sooner you eat, the sooner you can return to Kellin. You need to eat. Not eating isn’t healthy. Do you want to end up in a hospital?” I nodded no. He continued, “then you need to eat. Please. Don’t do it for me. Do it for Kellin, Eve, Jinxx and Andy Dawn.” I sighed and then opened the wrapper of the food and took one bite. He said, “good. Can you do another?” I took another bite. “ A little more.” I bite down again. I repeated the process until it was gone. He forced me to sit there with him for a half hour before returning to the room.



Andy’s POV


I was woken up by Dad at 2 am because Kellin was sick. He took him to the hospital and has been gone since. I woke up again at 6 and called Jinxx and Juliet. Jinxx came and got Eve while Juliet came to take the girls and me to school. She made fun of me about going to school. “I’m dating a high school kid now.” she would say to me time and time again. LA woke up and I told her what happened. She was worried but I told her Kellin would be okay. I think she was worried it was the cancer her mom had but I told her it was just the flu. She calmed down a bit and finished getting ready. By the time we left for school, I could already tell that today would be interesting.


The first few hours of school went normally but then I got bored. I texted dad to see how the little man was doing. Around lunch time, Jake texted me saying, “He’s doing it again. I’m literally probably going to end up forcing him to eat. Btw a nurse told us that some other lady was extremely mean to him. He didn’t say anything about it. He’s limping a little bit when he walks.” I replied, “This isn’t good. I’ll make him eat when I’m around. Juliet misses me though. When does Ella get back?” he replied, “a few days maybe a week. I think I saw blood on his pajama pants. I don’t know though. He hasn’t made anything extremely easy today.” I laughed. Typical dad. I hope he hasn’t had an anxiety attack yet. When he has one, it’s going to be bad. The rest of the day flew by but I didn’t see Andy Dawn in music and then it was time to go home. Juliet picked us up again and then we got Jinxx and I still didn’t see her. We went home and did our homework. Juliet kept teasing me. I playfully glared at her and then thought of a prank me and LA could do. Where was LA?

Jake’s POV


I got a message early in the morning saying Ash went to the ER with Kellin because he had a really high fever. Poor little guy. Ash told us what was going on and then CC and me went to bring him clothes. CC mentioned, “I swear I left the blade in front of a twenty and when I saw it this morning, it was in between a twenty and a ten. I don’t know. Maybe I’m just crazy.” I decided as a test that we would bring him a pair of tight skinny jeans. That would be able to tell us because the fabric would rub any cuts on his leg and then he would either limp or be in pain. Its kind of messed up but it’s the only test we thought of. When he returned with his clothes, I went to put them in the car. His pants that he wore earlier had a little bit of blood on them. Please don’t let this mean what I think it means. CC picked an okay time to moan and complain about being hungry. CC and me asked if he wanted anything and he said no. I told CC I would meet him in the car and then said to him, ““you’re not playing that game with me. I bet, no guarantee you haven’t eaten in a long time. You can’t do this to yourself. I know you get upset and then you don’t want to eat but you need to.” He reluctantly agreed and I got him something.


I told CC in the car about what happened and he shook his head and said, “not only to we have little Andy to worry about we have Him and now Kellin. This is not going to end well. I think we need to live in the band house. I’ll call Jinxx and tell him that he forgot about our grounding. After LA ate dinner she took a shower. I don’t want to go kicking a hornet’s nest but I think something is up. Same with Ash. We need to get through to him.”Nodding I said, “I wouldn’t remind Jinxx. He’s crazy enough to make us live there and the kids just moved into their new house. We shouldn’t disturb them. I say we set up Andy’s room on the 3rd floor and he and Juliet can stay there for a while until things get better.”

He nodded and we got food and ate. We got Ash’s food and then left. When we got to the hospital we went to the floor we left Ash on and CC cleaned up before taking Kellin from Ash.

I dragged him to the chairs outside and tried to force him to eat. He bite me. He literally chomped down on my finger! When I finally got through to him, he ate. I told him I knew what he was up to. I chose my words carefully because I didn’t want to trigger an anxiety attack. Years ago, he would have had one by now. He would literally not eat and we would try to get him to and we would list the consequences and he then would have an anxiety attack. He sat with me for a while before I let him return to the room. Right before I went in the room, Andy texted, “I haven’t seen Andy dawn since before lunch. She didn’t show up to music. I think something’s wrong.”


Ash’s POV


My phone vibrated after I took it off silence and switched it to vibrate. I took it out of my pocket and saw that it said it was the school. Answering I said, “hello?” “Hello Mr. Purdy, we are going to need you to go to St. Mary’s hospital. Your daughter Andrea Dawn is being admitted.”

Notes

alright guys! I read the comments of the last chapter and then saw that the last chapter posted three times. I fixed it though. I think because I did something it then published it 3 times. sorry about that!!!! I hope this longer chapter makes up for the mess up and the shortness of the last one. (: leave me a review pretty please. I need some loving right now.

alright kiddos. good night. stay strong! never back down and never give in. lets fight against the odds and set the world on fire.