Andy Dawn’s Pov



Oh shit. This is not going to end well. In the words of Jinxx, fuck, fuck, Fuckity fuck, fuck. “Hello. How can I help you?” I asked sweetly. “Listen here bitch. Just cause your stupid brother is here doesn’t mean we’re going to stop. What did I tell you about those bracelets and shirt ugly? DON’T wear them anymore got it? Otherwise there will be consequences.”Nodding I quickly turned on my heels and walked to the car. Getting in the back, Andy asked, “What was that?” “ Amber and Rita wanted to know if we had Bio homework and math homework. I told them what it was.” he nodded slowly and dropped the subject. I did my best not to play with my bracelets. To distract my self, I played with twitter and decided to tweet: guys I hate to be the one to break it to you but Andley can never be real. Andy is my adopted big brother now. Sucks to because that would’ve been a good relationship. Lol.” Andy saw my tweet and replied, “I know right. To bad we can never know now.” dad who was next to uncle Jake in the front seat read the tweet then replied, “that ship sinked with the titanic now. RIP Andley.” We all were cracking up about it.



We picked Jinxx up and then headed home. Uncle CC was out with Momma Jinxx. Yep he shall forever be Mamma Jinxx. Getting home, we all did our homework and then watched a movie. Dad picked Warm Bodies after Andy tried to suggest Batman but was shut up by me when I threw a pillow at his head, which lead to a pillow fight. I sat next to dad and hugged him. He hasn’t really talked much but he told me he loved me and was sorry he scared me. The movie was really good but every time a bony showed up, I hid my face in dad’s side. Jinxx stuck her tongue out at me and was laughing at me from Jake’s side of the couch. Once the movie ended, we were sitting around the room talking about Legion of the black. I was trying to convince Andy to write an album that would go with that plot line but also extend it. I was so far winning. In the end (as you fade into the night) I had him thinking about it. When that conversation died, I asked about Halloween. It was about a month a way and I was excited about it. Andy thought for a moment and said, “we have a show a few days before Halloween and then nothing for a while.” I remembered, “don’t forget we have to have the completion for the opening of the show.” Dad said, “oh yeah. How about we face time CC and Jinxx and then we see who will play for it.”


We all agreed before dad and Jake face timed CC and Jinxx. Telling them what was going on they agreed and then Andy sang first. We made the rule that we sang the same song. He then sang Rebel Love Song. He did as he usually does, good.



It was then my turn. Starting the song I sang, “I cannot hide what’s on my mind. I feel it burning deep inside, a passion crime to take what’s mine. Let us start living for today. Never gonna change my mind. We can leave it all behind. Nothin’s gonna’ stop us. No not this time. So take your hand in mine, it’s our tonight. This is a rebel love song.”When I finished, the guys were silent. Andy said, “That was brilliant little A. brilliant. With a little more work, you could make it in the industry some day, if you wanted to.” I smiled and said, “I want to make a band one day like you guys.” the guys told me they would all support me. “Well Little Andy, you will be opening as Andy for the first song. I say we dress you up like him and see how long it takes for people to realize you’re not him. Your pretty tall so it could work.” I smiled and said, “I could where high tops that have height in them. I’m flat so it’ll work. That sucks though.”

They laughed and said, “You’ll get them someday.” I pouted and said, “so operation replace Andy with Andy is a go!” yay! Andy pouted and said, “I bet as soon as you sing they realize it and then they’ll figure it out immediately.” I stuck my tongue out at him and said, “If we do a song with a lot of screaming they wont notice until I sing. This will work!” Dad and Jake laughed and Andy just glared playfully at me. Getting up, I went to the kitchen and looked in the fridge. I was hungry but I didn’t want to eat. Jake walked in and saw me staring into the fridge and asked if he could cook for me. Sighing I said, “how about for everyone? It’ll be easier that way.” He nodded and we began hunting for ingredients in the fridge. We came up with vegetables and a bit of meat. We made stir-fry and severed it up to everyone. It was late after we finished eating and I said, “I’m going to take a shower so I don’t have to take one in the morning. Good night if you leave before I get out. Love you guys!” and waved awkwardly before running up the stairs.



Grabbing some pajamas, I then headed to the bathroom. Locking the door, I began taking my bracelets off and docked my phone in the Ipod dock and selected a random play list. When I finished, I looked at what I did this morning. It was gruesome. Turning the shower on, I then kneeled in front of the toilet and stuck my fingers down my throat. Dinner came up. When I was done, I flushed the toilet, brushed my teeth and then got in the shower. Cleaning my self and my hair, I got out and then wrapped my self in a towel and then dried my hair with a hair drier. Pulling out my flat iron, I straightened my hair and then thought about wanting to put colors in it. Nothing dramatic, just a few colors. When I was done I put my bracelets on and then checked the time. It was 9:20. The lights and TV were off down stairs so I guess everyone went home. I walked to dad’s room and knocked on the door. He said come in and I entered. I jumped onto his bed and sat down next to him. “What’s up Andy?” he asked. “I don’t know. I felt like bothering you.” he laughed and said, “well then. Tickle war!” he began tickling my sides and then under my arms. Damn it! He knows where I’m ticklish! Nooo!! Time to turn the tables!



Sitting on top of him I tickled him. He giggled and giggled and then I fell over onto my back laughing. I put my head on his chest and hugged him from the side. He hugged me back. We were like that for a while and I got sleepier and sleepier. “I’m going to go to bed. Night dad. I love you.” he replied, “I love you Andrea Dawn. Never forget that. Good night.” “Night.” I called out as I walked to my room. I tossed and turned for a while before finally falling asleep.



Ash’s Pov



I woke up this morning hugging a blanket and pillow. Checking the time, I sat up fast. The house was silent. Going down stairs I saw CC sitting at the table eating cereal. “Hey man.” He called out. “When did you get here?” I asked. “I’ve been here since late last night. Do you remember anything last night?” “No. I remember being at the apartment and then nothing. What happened?” I said. “We don’t exactly know. We do know that you were driving at were out of it so Andy asked you to pull over and he drove the rest of the way home. You sat down on the stairs and did nothing. LA tried talking to you and she got no response. Andy sent her to bed and then called us. We stood you in the shower and slapped you and tried to get a response but nothing happened. Andy realized that you must’ve been having an anxiety attack so he then held you and rocked you as he sang to you. You slowly came out of what ever you were in and then fell asleep.”


Nodding I thought about last night. The last thing I remember was taking the pills. I think I took 3. What did I take? Think Ash, think! Depression pills! That was what I took. That couldn’t have given me attack so what did? What triggered me? What are my triggers? What are they Ash! Remember it! Crowds, being alone in a crowd, being judged (feeling like your being judged) and what else? Damn it! Oh well that’s a start. Sighing I got out a bowl of fruit loops and ate some before going to my room to get dressed. When I looked down, I saw that I wasn’t wearing what I wore yesterday. Shit. What if they saw my cuts? Shit I think they probably did. Taking my phone out of the case, I saw a note where my blade used to lay. Reading it, I groaned in anger. CC wrote the note so chances are he still has the blade. If I were CC where would I put a blade? Phone? Nah that’s not what he would do. Wallet? Maybe. If I were CC where would I leave my wallet other than on me? The wallet bowl! This is the one time I’m actually thanking Andy for arguing that we needed something. I crept downstairs and then checked it. His wallet was there! Go Ash!



I quickly grabbed his wallet and then hid downstairs as I checked his wallet for it. Locating it, I put the walled back and returned to my room. Getting dressed, I then went to the bathroom. When I saw that the gauze was fresh, I had an anxiety attack. They knew. Shit! Why are you so stupid Ash! You knew they would find out! Sitting against the door and locking it, I tried to calm down. When I couldn’t, the blade seemed like the best idea. Just holding it in my hand calmed me a bit. Sliding my jeans down, I put the blade to my skin and did my work. When I finished, I was calm and feeling so much better. Cleaning it up, I admired my work. It was deeper than the ones I did the other night. Once I was done, I left the bathroom and made sure the blade was clean before putting it back in CC’s wallet. They’ll never know.


Score one for Ash! The rest of the day dragged on and then it was time to pick the kids up. Andy came to the car before LA did. When she did, she was different. Like she was acting like she wasn’t angry. Andy questioned her on it before dropping it. We picked Jinxx up and then went home. Homework was done before we watched a movie. Andy and LA were arguing so I picked warm bodies and put it in. it was adorable how every time a Bony showed up on screen, LA would hide in my side. When she sang for us, she was really good. And her idea for Operation Replace Andy with Andy was funny and worth a shot. She wandered into he kitchen and Jake followed her in before they both returned with dinner not to long after. She ate slowly and then excused her self to go take a shower. I took Jinxx, Kellin and Eve to bed before going down stairs to the guys. As I was half way from the living room I heard, “do we tell him that we know?” “I don’t know. I don’t want him to relapse.” I decided then to walk into the room. “Tell me what?” I asked. They all looked like deer in headlights. It was almost funny.


“CC dropped your phone and found a razor blade.” well shit, that’s how they found it. I’m fucked now. Fuuuuuuuccccckkkkkkkk. I nodded and sat down on the couch and crossed my legs. “Did you relapse Ash?” shit this is bad. Time to act innocent. “No. I found it while I was cleaning. I didn’t know where to put it so I put in the back of my phone case. I was meaning to throw it out but I guess I forgot.” Hope they bought it. Jake nodded and said, “Well, I’m out. I need to go home. Ella is getting back tomorrow.” We all bid him goodnight and he then left. CC left shortly after him. Andy said, “I’ll crash on the couch tonight. I need a bed for my room.” nodding I said night and then went up stairs to bed. I laid there for a while feeling depressed. A knock came on the door. “Come in.” I said. I was met by LA. She jumped on the bed next to me and laid with me for while. I ticked her and then she pinned me down and tickled me. Once the tickle war was over she put her head on my chest and hugged me. We stayed like that for a while and she then said she was going to bed.


The lights were off and I was now alone with my thoughts in the dark. The depression hit me like a ton of bricks. My thoughts kept wandering to Mckendrie and everything that happened between us. Regret and pain took over me. Silent tears rolled down my cheeks. I cried my self to sleep and fought the urge of the blade.

Notes

I know its short but its something right? okay so the song used last chapter was do it, remember it later by sleeping with Sirens. and the song used earlier was rebel love song by BVB. please don't hate me for what's going on and because its short. please review :)

stay strong. never give in and never back down. fight against the odds and set the world on fire
<3 ash