Ashley Purdy’s Point of View

I sighed in relief when the lasagna was finally in the oven. Still asking myself whether lasagna had been a good choice, I made my way into my bedroom to change. It was half past seven, so Andy would be here in half an hour. I looked into my wardrobe and thought about what I should wear. Was it worth to make an effort and look nice or was it just another movie night with him? I knew I felt something for him, even though I didn’t like it, plus I already made an effort with dinner. I felt like I had to stick to making an effort, so I pulled out a pair of grey, ripped jeans and a black button up shirt. After putting the clothes on and eyeing myself in the mirror critically, I got the feeling that I forgot something. I put some bracelets and a star necklace on before moving on to my hair and make-up. While my straightener heated up, I put on some light foundation and rimmed my eyes a little bit with black eyeliner before applying grey eye shadow. No need to exaggerate here. I straightened my hair and teased it a little bit, making the shorter parts stand up. I looked myself over in the mirror. There was still something missing, so I went back into the bedroom and opened the doors to my wardrobe. I pulled out some bandanas and started to tie them to my pants. Then I put some studded belts on. That was way better. I knew we would just hang out here and that it was just the two of us, but I wanted to look good.

The doorbell rang and I sighed. He was there. I closed the wardrobe doors and went to open the door. I used the door opener for the main door, because I was lazy for once, and opened the one to my flat. When I saw Andy I couldn’t help but smile a little. He wore black ripped jeans and a somewhat ripped Batman shirt. His black hair was straightened and somewhat teased. His eyes were rimmed in black eyeliner and eye shadow. He looked stunning, just making me fall for him more. He smiled a wide smile when he stepped in front of me.
“Hey” he said, his eyes travelling up and down my body.
“Hi” I said back and blushed a bit. “Come in.” I stepped aside and let him in, closing the door behind him. He kicked his boots off and I grinned.
“Just get comfy in the living room, dinner should be ready in a few.” I said and went into the kitchen to take a look at the lasagna. I really hoped he wouldn’t find this exaggerated and that he liked lasagna, and liked how I looked and… I was just worrying too much.
“Dinner?” Andy asked and I chuckled nervously.
“Yeah, I don’t know about you, but I’m starving, so I made lasagna. I hope you like that.” I said while taking out plates and setting them on the counter. Andy was standing in the doorway, watching me with a happy grin on his face.
“Lasagna is totally awesome and it smells so delicious! But I actually thought we’d order pizza, like we always do, you know, you didn’t have to cook or something” he seemed a bit confused and I grinned.
“I thought that’s boring, ‘cause we really always order pizza. So I made lasagna instead. I like cooking, but I rarely do something like lasagna for myself because it’s just too much for one person.” I shrugged my shoulders and looked at him. He smiled, which I took as a good sign.

A few minutes later we were sitting in the living room, each a plate full of lasagna in our laps, watching Batman Begins. Andy was already totally engrossed in the movie, even though it had not even been a month since we last saw it.
When my plate was empty I put it on the table, next to Andy’s. He had eaten faster than me even though he was more in the movie than in my living room at the moment. I went to get comfy on the couch, shifting around a bit, when I suddenly lost my balance and my head landed on Andy’s shoulder. It felt good and was probably the most comfortable position I could get into, so I quickly looked up to him to see whether it bothered him. His expression was unchanged and I decided to just stay like that. I wriggled around a bit and suddenly felt his arm around my shoulder. I quietly sighed in content, hoping he didn’t notice.
We stayed basically like that for the rest of the movie. At some point my arms had found their way around his waist, but when the credits came on, I sat up and stretched, as did Andy.
“I love this movie” he gushed, making me chuckle.
“I know. You’re so obsessed with Batman” I laughed and he pouted at me.
“Well, what are you obsessed with?” he asked with a challenging look on his face. I should answer him, we had agreed to make a new start after all.
“Good music. And Hello Kitty.” I simply said and shrugged. Andy raised an eyebrow.
“Hello Kitty? Seriously?” he asked and I nodded my head. “What’s good music for you?”
“Rock and metal, mainly. I like Mötley Crüe and Kiss. WASP, Poison, Bon Jovi… those bands.” I said and smiled. I just loved talking about my favorite bands.
“Do you also play an instrument?” he wanted to know and I could barely stop myself from sighing loudly. Here it came…
“I play bass” I said and tried to sound as casual about it as possible.
“Oh my god, seriously? Ash, you NEED to play in our band! We are still looking for a bassist and-“ Andy completely freaked out, but clamped his hand over his mouth as realization struck him.
“Shit, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to –“ he started and I just waved my hand about, telling him it was ok. I had expected his little outburst and somehow it didn’t really bother me that he just called me Ash, but I would not spend more time with any of them than necessary. Well, I already did, but regular band rehearsals and stuff went too far for me.
“At least come and listen to us!” Andy pleaded, when he was sue I wasn’t mad at me, and gave me his adorable puppy eyes again. “Just once!” This time I sighed and nodded reluctantly.
“Fine, but only because Jake was also bugging me about that” I grumbled. Andy squealed and nearly jumped on me to hug me. I chuckled and hugged him back lightly, patting his back awkwardly.
“So” Andy said, while getting back into his normal sitting position. He faced me and studied my face. He looked serious and that confused me. Andy never seemed to be serious about anything.
“What’s that with you and our beloved Jake?” He asked and something flashed in his eyes. If I didn’t know better I would have said that he was jealous. But that was impossible, why would he?
“What would there be? We talked some and we got along quite well…” I trailed off, unsure of what he wanted to hear.
“So, are you friends?” he asked, still a serious look on his face. I was slightly taken aback. Were we friends? I thought so, I told Jake everything about me, cried on his shoulder, let him hug me… I had opened up to him, I had promised him to talk to him. He had also told me a bit about his feelings and his past that the other guys didn’t know.
“Yeah?” I more asked than said. There was this look in his eyes again. He sighed and pushed a hand through his hair. He looked sad.
“Is there something wrong with that?” I asked quietly, somehow afraid of the answer. What if Andy told me that Jake would only let me down? That he tricked me into being friends with him? Andy apparently sensed my doubts. He quickly shook his head and smiled a tiny smile.
“No, of course not! Jake is awesome really. I’m glad you talked to someone.”
I nodded, furrowing my brows. Why… I voiced the thought immediately.
“Why do you care? What’s it to you?” I asked, not understanding his behavior at all. He was glad I talked to someone but he seemed sad about it. Maybe he was sad that I didn’t talk to him? Maybe he was jealous of Jake?
“I just do.” He said and turned back to the TV, a blank expression on his face.
“What do we watch next?” He asked, without looking at me. I blinked a few times. That was definitely weird for him. I needed to text Jake. Badly.
“No clue, just chose something, I’ll go take a piss” and with that I got up and went into the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind me. I ran a hand through my hair, messing it up slightly. I couldn’t bring myself to bother, though. I pulled out my phone and texted Jake.

“Andy is being weird. Not Andy-like weird but really weird. He asked me whether we are friends and I said yes and he looked kinda sad and when I asked why he cares he said he just does and turned away and changed the subject. HELP!”

I hit send and did what I wanted to do in the bathroom in the first place. After I finished I looked at my phone to see that Jake already answered.

“If I wouldn’t know better I’d say he really likes you.”

I looked at the screen as if Jake had gone nuts. Yeah sure, Andrew Biersack liked me. Please note the sarcasm here.

“Seems more like he hates me. He wouldn’t even look at me.”

I sighed and left the bathroom. Maybe it would all work out somehow. I was really afraid that I scared him off or something. When I entered the living room I saw that Andy had put in the second Batman movie. Of course I thought to myself and smiled. I checked my phone again, before sitting down again.

“Keep your head up, it will all work out.”

I sighed and went over to the sofa. Andy took hold of my hand and pulled me down, so I was sitting on his lap. I turned my head and looked at him confused. He just shrugged and put his arms around my waist, pulling me into him. I made myself comfy, while Andy started the movie.
“You don’t mind, do you?” his deep voice whispered right into my ear, nearly making me faint. His voice was awesome, I just couldn’t deny that. Jake had said I needed to hear him sing and I would.
“Huh?” I made. Wow, awesome Ashley. He probably thought I was mental.
“You don’t mind cuddling with me for a bit? I don’t want to scare you off, but I’d really love to cuddle…” his voice trailed off, leaving goose bumps on my neck. I shook my head. What are you doing, Purdy? You can’t just cuddle with Andy! But it felt so good…
“No, I don’t mind…” I replied silently and tried to focus on Batman. Of course I failed miserably. Andy’s hands were lightly caressing my sides and he leant his head on my shoulder, breathing right onto my neck. I couldn’t focus on the movie at all; instead I tried to keep my breathing steady and to act as if nothing was wrong. I liked this far too much, so basically there was nothing and everything wrong. I wished he would tighten his grip on me and kiss my neck, just to know how this would feel… Biting my lower lip I scolded myself. I shouldn’t have such thoughts.
“Are you ok?” Andy asked, sounding concerned.
“S-sure…” I said, barely able to talk because of how close we were. It wasn’t uncomfortable; it just turned me on, especially his low voices talking directly into my ear…
“You’re so tense” he murmured, one of his hands leaving my waist to slowly rub my back. His movements soothed me and I closed my eyes, relaxing to his touch.
“I’m just not used…” I didn’t finish the sentence. Everything I could say would sound weird anyway. I wasn’t used to be touched, to sit on someone’s lap, to having someone close to me. He noticed that I tensed up again.
“We don’t have to.” he whispered. No, I wanted this! “We can also sit like before, if you don’t feel good like this…”
“I feel too good” I admitted and blushed. His low chuckle rumbled through my ear and I nearly moaned. How could his voice turn me on that much?
“You better get used to this then.” Andy said and as if he had read my mind earlier he tightened his grip on me, pulling me into him more, and turned his head to kiss my neck right under my ear. A silent moan escaped my lips and I blushed even more. Fuck.
“Someone’s turned on” Andy whispered seductively into my ear and started nibbling on my earlobe. I moaned again, before coming to my senses again. I couldn’t do this.
“Andy, stop.” I said and moved to get up from his lap. His hands held me down and I started to panic. He isn’t Corey my mind whispered but I didn’t care. I told him to stop and he held me down. Tears were forming in my eyes and I started to stand up again, just to be pulled back down.
“N-no… please…” I whimpered, burying my face in my hands. That was when Andy noticed that something went incredibly wrong.
“Sh, Ashley. Don’t cry, I didn’t mean to frighten you, I was just fooling around. I’m sorry, I went too far” Andy said and let go of my waist, rubbing my back instead. I was a crying mess on his lap, memories of Corey raping me were washing over me, threatening to drown me.
Andy somehow turned me sideways and pulled me into him, resting my head on his shoulder. I continued to cry as he tried to calm me down. He had one arm around my waist and the other was caressing my back again. He nuzzled his face into my hair and whispered soothing words.

About fifteen minutes later I was still sobbing a bit, but the tears were gone. My make-up was probably smudged all over my cheeks and I looked horrible. Andy didn’t seem to mind though. I was honestly surprised he was still here.
“Are you better?” he quietly asked and I nodded without looking at him.
“Ashley, I’m really sorry. I just seem to fuck things up. Just… can you tell me what’s wrong? I want to know what I can do and what I can’t. I don’t want you to be angry or mad at me.” he explained. I could feel his eyes burning into my face but I kept staring at the fabric of the couch. There was no way I could tell him. I had been reluctant to tell Jake, how could I tell Andy? I slowly shook my head. I couldn’t talk about this again.
“Are you mad at me?” he asked quietly and I could sense the fear in his voice.
“No. You couldn’t know…” I answered just as quietly. A sigh of relief escaped his lips. He probably thought I’d never talk to him again.
“Ash…ley, if you ever feel like talking about anything… you know I’m here, right? I know I’m annoying and I go too far more often than not but I just don’t know what is ok for you and what isn’t. I don’t want to see you hurt. I don’t want to see you cry and I sure as hell don’t want to be the one causing you to cry.” he said and put his arms loosely around my waist again, leaving me room to move and stand up. He put his head on my shoulder, nuzzling his face to the side of my neck. I nodded and sighed, leaning my head on top of his. I was tired from crying and just wanted to go to bed, but there was still about 45 minutes of the movie left and I really didn’t want to chuck Andy out. I liked him, despite the fact that he always had me upset at the end of the day. I remembered what I had thought about while talking to Jake.
Maybe, one day, when I would have made enough good memories to cover up the bad ones, maybe then I could be Ash again.
I wanted to be Ash again and maybe this was the opportunity to change my life, even if I wasn’t in Los Angeles yet. Andy always accidently called me Ash and added the –ley at the last second. I wanted to let him in so badly but I still wasn’t sure whether I could trust him. I had to try. Letdowns were familiar to me, so it wouldn’t be something new if he really did disappoint me.
“Andy?” I quietly said, raising my head to look at him. He looked up into my eyes, urging me to continue. “You can call me Ash. I won’t be mad.”
Andy’s eyes lit up at that and he squealed a bit.
“Really?” his voice squeaked and I chuckled before nodding my head yes. He hugged me again, pressing a sloppy kiss on my cheek. I guessed that for him this was a sign that I would let him into my life. Maybe I did. What led me to my next question I never knew.
“Will you stay here tonight? I don’t wanna be alone.” I whispered, looking down and fumbling with the fabric of my shirt.
“Are you sure?” he asked in disbelief and I nodded my head. This was a bit weird maybe, seeing as I normally didn’t even talk to him, but I really didn’t want to be alone. I wanted someone to cuddle up to and I knew that Andy would let me.
“Ok, then I’ll stay. Chuck me out whenever you’re sick and tired of me” he added and I chuckled.
“Thank you” I whispered. I still didn’t look up.
“You wanna go to bed now? You look tired” Andy said. His hand was still rubbing up and down my back. I really was tired but the movie was still on.
“The movie is still playing…” I said and looked at the TV.
“I don’t know about you, but I saw this a gazillion times.” I looked at him in shock. He didn’t just indirectly suggest turning Batman off, did he?
“What?” he asked irritated.
“You just… you didn’t… you can’t!” I just exclaimed, not able to form a coherent sentence.
“What are you talking about, Ashley?” Andy looked at me as if I was insane. Maybe I was, who knew?
“You couldn’t just possibly have suggested turning Batman off!” I said and looked at him as if he committed the worst sin of all. Andy laughed and so did I. It was ridiculous, really.
“Why,yes, sometimes I do such weird things. I can see that you are tired and that you’d like to go to sleep, so what’s the point in making you watch a movie that I know by heart already?” he asked and I shrugged.
“You’d have me cuddled up to you in no time?” I suggested and he chuckled.
“I don’t think I need a movie for that” he winked and I laughed a bit. He was right after all.
I stood up from his lap and stretched as he turned off the TV.

A few minutes later we were lying next to each other on my bed. I turned to him and searched for the warmth of his body. Andy put an arm around me and pulled me closer to him, letting me rest my head on his chest with my body pressed against his side. I sighed contently and felt Andy run a hand through my hair and kiss my forehead.
“Is it ok like this?” he asked. There was concern in his voice and I knew he was thinking of earlier. But this wasn’t the same; it was a whole different situation.
“Mhm” I made and lightly kissed his chest.
“Good night, Ash” I could hear his smile as he said that and also started smiling.
“Good night, Batman. Sleep well.” I chuckled. He joined in and a few moments later I was fast asleep in Andy’s arms.

Notes

I know this took me forever to write and I'm really sorry. But it's freakishly long. I somehow didn't really come up with something good and then it kind of hit me. Which is good I guess. I already have an idea how to start the next chapter. Believe me, it won't get boring. ;) Oh, and I hope you liked the little bit of Andley in here! ^.^
Comments/Recommendations/Rates/Votes/Shares/Subscriptions (or whatever is possible here!) are always welcome and make me a happy writer <3
Last but not least I want to thank each and everyone who already subscribed/voted/rated/commented/shared/recommended this story! Thank you for your support guys, I know I don't update regularly and I don't update often but I love how you continue to make this awesome for me <3 THANK YOU SO FUCKING MUCH

xoxo Rebellious Redamancy