Ashley Purdy’s Point of View

I squeezed my eyes shut as the light of the morning sun threatened to break through my lids. It was probably far too early for me anyway, so I cuddled back into the warm and comfortable thing next to me and sighed in content as it tightened its grip around my waist. It tightened its grip around my waist? My eyes flew open, I groaned at the light invading my room, and looked at the sleeping form next to me. I saw a bare chest, so my eyes traveled up a bit until I looked into a familiar face. Andy’s face. What was Andy doing here? Memories of the previous evening came into my mind and I blushed. I couldn’t believe I practically broke down on his lap but then again it brought us closer together somehow. At least I told him he could call me…
“Mornin’ Ash” a deep rumbling voice from above me said, practically continuing my thoughts. I smiled and looked up at him.
“Good morning Batman” I answered with a slight grin and nuzzled my head on his chest again. I didn’t want to get up; it was probably sometime around eight in the morning. A hand pushed lightly through my hair and Andy kissed my forehead, just like the evening before. I kissed his chest, just like the evening before, as my mind started to wander. I admitted to myself that I liked the feeling of waking up next to Andy. So far, so good. I was scared out of my mind though. What if it would just be like the time I spent with Corey? What if he just fucked me over and left? What if this was all a big joke?
“Ash?” Andy’s morning voice brought me out of my terrified thoughts and I looked up at him.
“Yeah, Andy?” I flashed him a small smile.
“Are you ok? You kinda zoned out.” He sounded worried and I started to feel a bit bad. Maybe I thought totally wrong of him? I probably overthought the whole situation way too much.
“Oh, as if you would never zone out!” I mocked him and stuck my tongue out, referring to Friday morning when he had been staring at me. He laughed at my sudden immaturity and squeezed my waist a bit before placing another kiss on my forehead.
“Really though” He said in a serious tone and looked down into my eyes. I nearly lost myself in his crystal blue eyes, but before that could happen I turned my head and stared at the wall.
“I was just thinking too much again. I always think too much. Don’t worry” I explained and gave him a reassuring smile.
“If you say so” He said, raising an eye brow at me. Just then his stomach rumbled and I laughed a bit.
“Let’s make some breakfast” I said and winked at him, earning a laugh.

After breakfast Andy told me that he had to leave because of some family get-together. I was quite sad about that, even though I didn’t admit it in front of him. We exchanged phone numbers though. He left and I washed the dishes, singing along to the radio for once. If I were honest I was just trying to distract myself from the fact that I liked Andy far too much for my own good. The evening with him had been awesome and I totally wanted to repeat that. This would no doubt bring us closer together, something I was incredibly scared of. I put the towel away and sighed. I sat down at my table, in order to rationally discuss my whole situation with my time. That meant: Dilemma-time. I wanted to spend time with Andy but then again I didn’t want to spend time with him. I actually needed someone to talk to, someone who wasn’t really involved. But I only had Jake and Jake would of course tell me to go for it, to spend time with Andy, to be friends with him, to eventually maybe go out with him. But that wasn’t good for my sanity, was it? I would eventually get hurt. He would let me down and kick me when I’d be lying helplessly on the floor. He would make fun of me, revealing all my secrets to the whole school. He would bully me and scar me. I couldn’t stay on the chair, pacing my whole flat instead and by now I stood in front of my mirror, watching the tears fall freely from my eyes. I didn’t try to stop them, I knew I would feel better afterwards. Just then my phone rang, signaling a new text message. Probably Jake I thought and rolled my eyes. I could just imagine how eager he was to find out about our movie night.
I was quite surprised to see Batman instead of Jake as the sender. I wondered since when I knew Batman and what could be so urgent that he would text me to fight at his side. Grinning, I shook my childish thoughts away and tried to think rational. Good Night Batman. My own voice echoed through my head and I smiled. Andy must have saved his number in my phone under that name. I should have thought of that earlier. I also saved myself as Ash instead of Ashley, to show him that I was serious with him calling me that.
Chuckling, I finally opened the message.

I’m bored out of my mind. Do something!

I laughed out loud, sitting down on my couch and looked at the blank TV, thinking of something funny to write.

What? Batman is bored? This cannot be happening! There sure as hell is some poor soul in need of rescue!

Ok this was actually pretty lame but my mind just didn’t work right when it came to Andy. I hit send nonetheless and waited for his reply. Maybe that text made him realize that I was a boring dork and he would stay away from me?
My phone rang again. Well, obviously I was wrong, or this was a last goodbye.

:D I’m in need of rescue, can’t you be Batman for once?

I started laughing at that and typed my answer immediately.

Nope sry I’m just a lonely outlaw. :D

I got up and went into the kitchen to get myself something to drink. Pouring myself a glass of water I heard my phone go off again. If I feared that I’d be bored this afternoon I apparently forgot to count Andy in. I sat down in my living room again and read the text message.

What is it with this whole outlaw-thing anyway? I noticed Jake calling you that.

Oh. Yeah. I forgot that he didn’t know about my tattoo. Well, it was time to make him a bit curious.

Come over tonight and you’ll see ;)

Ok, this sounded more sexual than I originally intended, but I sent it anyway. Andy would like that. I didn’t even know why I wanted Andy to like my texts. I sighed heavily and sipped on my water, wondering what to do until the evening. I was about to get up when I received another text.

Someone’s being flirty, huh? I like that! I’ll be over around 9. Hope that’s not too late?

I giggled – yes, giggled – at that and answered that nine was perfectly fine with me. Just another seven hours to kill. I finally got up and walked to the cupboard I kept my DVDs in. I decided on Alice In Wonderland and got comfy while the movie started playing.

Throughout the whole movie Andy and me had texted back and forth, mainly because he had been bored. He had told me that his favorite cousin was to blame because he just rejected the invitation for this awfully important family get-together. I could just imagine Andy whining half of the time because he wanted to go home. I grinned to myself at that thought.
After Alice had defeated the Jabberwocky and returned to her world I got up and went to take a shower. I really had nothing to do and just wanted Andy to come back. Stopping in my tracks I just realized my thoughts. I just want Andy to come back. I was completely shocked and stared at the bathroom door for a few minutes. This couldn’t be happening. Loneliness settled in my chest and tears started flowing down my cheeks for the second time today. I was lonely without Andy. I needed him here. I loved his company. This conclusion hit me hard and I just broke down crying as I realized that I was lost already, that I couldn’t just go back to not be friends with him. I had to go all the way now.
I really loved being around him, but there was still this part of me that was scared that he would hurt me. Maybe I should just stop thinking so much. Of course I would get hurt one day or another, it was bound to happen, but that didn’t mean I shouldn’t enjoy the time that I could have with him before being hurt. Did that even make sense? Well, to me it did and so I just decided to surrender to my feelings, even if it would scare me. I got up from my crouched down position on the floor and wiped the tears from my eyes.

After finishing my shower, blow drying, straightening and teasing my hair I had still plenty of time left. I picked out some nice but still cozy clothes to wear and did some of my make-up. I didn’t try to look too stunning this time. He should also get used to me not running around in make-up. I looked myself up and down in the mirror and nodded slightly. I looked at the clock and groaned. Half past five. Time wasn’t passing at all and I was more than annoyed by that. I didn’t want to cook tonight, so there were also no dinner preparations to occupy myself with. I sat down on my couch and sighed heavily. What had I done on other days when I was alone? I somehow couldn’t remember anymore. My phone rang and I picked it up, looking at the new text message. It was Jake. I sadly read the message.

Hey how did the evening go? You two ok?

I let out a laugh. It was really cute how concerned Jake was. But then again I stated my worries about our movie night more than once and probably drove him mad with it. My text messages from yesterday evening probably didn’t make it better, so it was actually quite natural for him to be worried about a friend.
I quickly typed my reply.

Yeah we’re fine, pretty awesome actually. We watched some Batman (you should’ve guessed!) and he stayed the night (no, nothing happened!) and this morning we exchanged numbers.

I just hoped he wouldn’t ask too many questions. Even though he always seemed like this quiet, indifferent guy, there was a side to Jake that really cared about his friends. My phone went off yet again, but this time it was Andy.

I’m really looking forward to tonight! What we’re gonna eat?

Well, that really was an interesting question. I just had decided that I wouldn’t cook, that meant we either had to go out, which I didn’t want because it sounded like a date, or order something.

How about Chinese? Anything in particular you wanna do or just movies?

I sent it and at the same moment received another text from Jake. I sighed and opened it.

Gimme all the dirty details! You can’t just hint things! I’m coming over, see you in ten.

I chuckled and rolled my eyes. We’re persistent little fuckers Jake’s voice rang through my head and I burst out laughing. He had been so right. I didn’t even bother to text my ok, he would come over anyway. At least I would have some company until Andy would show up. His text message just arrived as I thought of him.

Didn’t know when I had Chinese food last time, sounds awesome. Movies would be cool, I’m actually getting pretty tired, so I don’t really wanna do much tonight. But I wanna spend some time with you if that’s ok, I don’t wanna be annoying again, but I really like your company, Ash.

A huge smile made its way on my face and I mentally slapped myself. Why was I smiling like some idiot? I shook my head and answered that it was ok and that he didn’t need to worry about annoying me. That should be weird enough for him.
Just then the doorbell rang, announcing that Jake wanted me to open the door. I got up and let him in, hugging him lightly.

“So, you and Andy?” he grinned and wiggled his eyebrows. I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped my lips as I shook my head.
“Dude, come in first, make yourself comfortable. Want some coffee?” I asked, walking towards the living room.
“No, thanks. I’m actually in a bit of a rush.” he answered and followed me, sitting down on my couch. He looked at me expectantly. I sighed and pushed a strand of hair from my face.
“Well, there’s no such thing as Me and Andy” I made quotation marks in the air. “We were just watching Batman, eating lasagna and talked a bit. It got actually quite cozy after I panicked a little…” I trailed off and Jake rose an eyebrow, urging me to go on.
“Well, I kinda ended up sitting on his lap and we kinda cuddled… and he kinda tried to seduce me… but I just freaked because I had to think of Corey and… well… I broke down…” I bit my lip, staring at the ground. I was still embarrassed.
“But you said he stayed the night?” Jake asked, obviously confused. I nodded.
“He apologized. He couldn’t know and I didn’t tell him… He calmed me down, I don’t even know how, no one actually can… normally I… I would’ve spent the whole night crying… He calmed me down…” I couldn’t really form a sentence at that point, I was still overwhelmed by the fact that Andy actually got me to calm down.

“Wow” was all Jake got out. I nodded again, fidgeting with my hands. I had to tell Jake.
“I told him he could call me Ash” I whispered, waiting for Jake’s reaction.
“Really?” Jake asked surprised and I nodded yet again, a small smile on my lips.
“I just didn’t try to think about it too much for once, you know? I wanted to show him that we somehow could be… I don’t even know what… friends maybe? I don’t know.” I sighed. I couldn’t even explain what was going on in my fucking head! Jake just stared at me, a slight grin on his face. I cleared my throat.
“Well… then I asked him to stay the night… I just didn’t want to be alone… yeah…” I trailed off and Jake burst out laughing. I looked at him quite irritated.
“What?” I asked, still not knowing what was going on.
“You like him, don’t you?” Jake asked and I furrowed my brows. I yet had to admit that to myself, plus, I didn’t see why he would laugh at that. “Oh Outlaw, you should see the look on your face when you talk about him. Oh, and the blush!”
I just blushed even more at that. I hadn’t really realize that, but Jake was right. I had been smiling slightly and I really did blush. Damn.
“I asked him to stay because I knew he would let me cuddle him…” I trailed off, somehow ashamed that I took advantage of him. It hadn’t been fair really. Now I was the one fucking with his feelings, if he had some. I bit my lip, feeling absolutely guilty.
“I bet he enjoyed that” Jake laughed, making me grin a bit. “Don’t worry Ashley, he wouldn’t have stayed if he hadn’t wanted to.”

I felt better after talking to Jake and told him that Andy would be over at about nine. He grinned and left shortly after, telling me to use protection while winking at me. I just shook my head laughing as I closed the door behind him.
I walked into the kitchen to make myself some coffee, looking at the clock. Still another hour to kill. I took my mug and went into my bedroom, where I grabbed my bass and sat down on the bed. Firstly, I just played some random chords, letting my fingers get used to the feeling of the strings underneath them again. I hadn’t played in quite some time. I picked at the strings, letting all my emotions flow into the music.

My doorbell interrupted me what felt like seconds later. I looked at my alarm and was shocked. The hour had passed by so quickly.
I got up and put my bass into its case. Then I walked to the front door, opening it to see Andy smiling tiredly at me. I smiled back and hugged him, leading him inside.
“So, how was that family-thing?” I asked as we sat down on the couch after ordering our dinner. Andy had lied down with his head in my lap before sighing. I smiled a little and started to run a hand through his hair, the other one resting on his stomach. He closed his eyes, a small smile on his lips.
“It always sucks when Joe isn’t there. He’s the only one who seems to be as crazy as I am, at least when it comes to humor. No one else understands those dry, sarcastic jokes…” he explained. I nodded, even though he couldn’t see me. I could understand him; I had also always been the weird kid in the family. None of them wanted to talk to me, if they did, they only insulted me.
“Family sucks” I mumbled and Andy raised an eyebrow.
“Bad experience?” he asked quietly, opening his eyes to give me a concerned look.
“Yeah…”

The food came and Andy insisted that he paid as I had cooked the night before. I protested, but didn’t stand a chance. I hated his puppy eyes.
While we ate we watched The Nightmare Before Christmas, a movie we both loved to pieces. Halfway through it Andy set his bowl aside and turned to look at me with a glint of curiosity in his eyes. I raised an eyebrow, a noodle half in my mouth, the other half still in the bowl. Instead of saying what he wanted to say, Andy burst out laughing, not able to breathe probably. I could only imagine what a hilarious sight I was at that moment. After a few minutes he calmed down and grinned.
“So, what I actually wanted to ask…” he trailed of, observing me with his natural curiosity. I cocked my head to the side a bit, still confused.
“Yeah…?” I asked, waiting for his reply.
“Well, that whole Outlaw thing… I still don’t know what it’s about!” he said, making me grin. He seemed a little frustrated, so I also put my bowl on the table and simply took my shirt off. That caught him off guard for a moment, he stared at me with eyes wide in shock. I just sat there and grinned, gesturing towards my stomach. He lowered his gaze and a wide smile spread across his face, up into his eyes. He raised his hand a bit, looking up at me.
“May I…?” he asked cautiously. I nodded, waiting for his touch.
He reached out and traced my tattoo with as little pressure as possible. His fingers caressed the bold letters like a feather, gentle and caring. I shivered at his touch and moaned quietly, unable to stop myself. Damn me and my non-existent self-control. Andy looked at me, his hand retreating from its position. I was slightly disappointed, but I tried to not let it show. We both remembered the last time this happened too well.
“That’s something for another time” he mumbled and pressed a kiss to my cheek. I just nodded and pulled my shirt on again.
We got comfy on the couch again, slightly cuddled up to each other, and continued to watch the movie.
We decided to only watch this one movie. I lied on my bed, staring at the ceiling and sighed heavily. I wanted to cuddle with Andy.

Notes

I'm so fucking sorry for the long wait! It's just that I don't really get to write that often at the moment, due to work. But this is a pretty long chapte and I really hope you guys enjoy it! :) Tell me what you think!

xoxo Rebellious Redamancy