Ashley Purdy’s Point of View

“So, how do you feel about your first rehearsal with the weird band that doesn’t have a name?” Andy asked with a wink. I chuckled and watched him as he took a sip of his coffee, thinking about a good way to answer his question. I didn’t want to seem too excited but at the same time I didn’t want to disappoint him. The truth was that I loved rehearsing with the guys and that I wanted to do it again. I wanted to be a part of this. In my mind, I already saw them hit the greatest venues, with thousands of people chanting their name. Girls would throw their underwear at us, kids telling us that we made a huge impact on their lives. We would be the greatest band in the universe. Wow, that really sounded fangirl-ish in my head. But how could I tell him without giving my excitement away?
“Ash?” Andy said, waving his hand in front of my face. I snapped out of my thoughts and gave him a small smile. To gain some time I took a sip of my own coffee.
“Sorry, I kind of zoned out. Anyway, I liked it. It was really cool and your music is awesome.” I said and watched his reaction. A smile spread across his face, up into his eyes, making them glisten slightly. Little dimples showed themselves and he seemed genuinely happy. I returned the smile and took another sip, taking in our surroundings.
We were at the small coffee shop, but due to the fact that it was after 10 pm already, there weren’t many customers. Here and there was a couple, leaning close to each other and whispering things. On another table there was a group of friends laughing about one thing or another. They reminded me of the guys. Other than that it was quiet, which made me enjoy the atmosphere. It was autumn already and it got cold outside, but then again the air started to smell nicely. You could feel that winter was coming. I loved this time of year.
“We should come here more often” I stated, while still looking around. Out of the corner of my eyes I saw Andy nod in agreement. I hadn’t even attempted to say that out loud but obviously Andy didn’t have any objections.
“We could make this a regular after rehearsal. If you want to, that is.” he suggested and my smile grew bigger. Regular coffee with Andy after regular rehearsals with the guys? That sounded like something I would like.
“Yeah, I’d like that” I replied and looked into his crystal eyes. Then it occurred to me what I had just thought. Regular coffee with Andy after regular rehearsals with the guys. But I actually didn’t want to get too close to the guys. I told them that I didn’t want to join in just yet. Regular activities with them were definitely not on my to do list. I couldn’t do this. But I had already agreed and taking it back would mean hurting Andy. I didn’t want to hurt him. The unease must have shown on my face because Andy reached out and took one of my hands, which were clutched around my mug, easing it from the porcelain cup and started tracing patterns on its back with his thumb.
“You ok?” he asked with concern evident in his voice, while looking into my eyes. He seemed to search for the reason behind my change in moods in them. I swallowed and nodded. I wanted this evening to be nice for both of us and my stupid worries were just getting in the way again.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” I replied quietly, taking yet another sip to distract myself. My hand never left his and I couldn’t help but stare at our intertwined fingers. They looked perfect.
“Talk to me” Andy demanded, obviously not believing a thing I just said. He squeezed my hand and I sighed, reluctantly looking at his face. The concern also showed through his blue eyes, which seemed to have darkened. I wanted them to be bright and shining again.
“It’s just…” I trailed off, not really knowing how to express my feelings without hurting him. Andy squeezed my hand again before releasing my fingers. I frowned at the loss of contact but leaned into his touch as soon as his hand cupped my cheek, his thumb stroking gently over my skin, making me blush. This little action gave me the needed confidence to try and explain that was going on in my head.
“You know, I’m not used to be around people that much. And you also know that I actually don’t want anything to do with you guys on a regular basis…” I took in his reaction. His hand still lingered on my cheek, but his eyes showed concern and a bit of sadness.
“But?” he asked quietly, a little bit of hope still apparent in his voice.
“But I really enjoy the company and it’s really fun to hang with you.” I finished my explanation and took another, quite frustrated, sip from my coffee. Andy beamed at me, his eyes a happy, bright blue and little dimples showing at the corner of his mouth. Maybe he felt the same about my company. I didn’t get what was so great about me, but as long as I could be with Andy I wouldn’t mind.
“That’s good. I really love to spend time with you, you know? We just work. I can’t even really explain it. Just like I said earlier, I like it when you smile, even more so when it’s because of something I said or did. It just makes me happy.” he confessed. He had started caressing my cheek again when he had started talking and I was leaning even more into his touch. His hand was so warm and soft and cupped my cheek perfectly. He was right. We did work. I couldn’t deny it anymore. I was falling for him. Hard and fast.

We just stared into each other’s eyes after that, occasionally drinking some of the black, hot liquids in front of us. Nothing needed to be said at this point, we had already said it all. Andy’s hand hadn’t stopped caressing my cheek and I felt my eyes slowly getting heavy. I nuzzled the palm of his hand once more, turning my head and kissing it.
“We should get going” I whispered, even though I didn’t want to destroy the comfortable atmosphere that engulfed us. Looking at him, I studied his face. He was sleepy too, I could tell from how his eyes became a little red.
“Yeah, we should” and with that he removed his hand from my face and left me feeling empty as the cold air hit my cheek.
We got up and made our way outside. It had gotten incredibly colder and I shivered against the cold. Andy noticed and put his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his side and thus shielding me a bit against the wind. I snuggled into him, smiling to myself as we made our way to my flat. Andy rubbed my arm, trying to warm me up some more. In that moment I really felt like I meant something to him. There was no need to lie here: I loved the way I felt around him. I started to get used to him being around and I was honestly scared of what would happen to me if he decided that he didn’t like me after all.
“Thank you” I said quietly, staring at the road in front of us. I just felt the need to thank for everything he’d done for me thus far.
“What for?” Andy asked confused and pressed a kiss on top of my head. It felt good and I relished the feeling a bit before answering him.
“For still being here. For letting me take you out. For keeping me company tonight. For giving a fuck. Thank you.” I said again. Andy chuckled and squeezed my shoulder, planting yet another kiss on my hair.
“Anything for you” he whispered and I could sense the smile on his face.

Entering my flat, we took off our jackets and shoes and I took the opportunity to stretch my sore limbs. I was stiff from sitting so long and the cold outside had done nothing to soothe my aching muscles. With a sigh I looked at Andy and found him looking right back.
“You ok?” he asked and walked up to me, putting his arms around my waist.
“Yeah, just a bit stiff from all the sitting” I shrugged and kissed his cheek. “You want something to drink? Hot chocolate maybe? I could put on a movie, I really don’t feel like going to bed just yet…” I trailed off, a light blush covering my cheeks, and waited for his response. He smiled and wiped a stray strand of hair from my cheeks.
“Hot chocolate and movie sounds good.” he whispered into my ear. I smiled and motioned for him to get comfy in the living room and pick a movie while I prepared our beverages.

A few minutes later we were both cuddled up on my couch watching Corpse Bride, Andy spooning me. With one arm he propped himself up, so he could look over my shoulder and the other was draped across my waist, holding me to his front. Every now and then he placed a kiss on my cheek or my neck. He didn’t go further though, and for that I was really glad. I didn’t want to freak out in front of him again, just because he was trying to kiss me. I sighed happily because the heat radiating from him actually loosened my muscles a bit and I felt better. I always felt better with him around.
“You ok?” he murmured into my ear, pressing a light kiss just beneath it. I nodded my head and cuddled a bit more into him, his arm instantly supporting me by pulling me closer.
“It’s nice to just lie like this. My back doesn’t hurt that much anymore.” I explained quietly and blushed.
“That’s good.” he answered and kissed the skin next to my ear again. I could feel his hot breath tickle over my neck, leaving goosebumps. I closed my eyes for a second, just enjoying the moment. I felt Andy nuzzle his face into my neck, not really paying attention to the movie anymore either. Actually I didn’t want Andy to pull away but I wanted to turn around and cuddle into him.
I wiggled around a bit, getting Andy to slightly let go of me and lift his head.
“Ash?” he asked silently, confusion lacing his deep voice. I just proceeded to turn around and eventually put my arms around his waist, snuggling into his chest. I could feel him chuckle as his grip around me tightened again. He kissed my cheek and nuzzled his face back into my neck. I smiled and breathed in his scent. He made me feel secure and that was something I never really felt around anyone.
“Are you tired?” he whispered into my neck, successfully driving me crazy. I nodded my head, but otherwise didn’t move.
“Maybe we should go to bed then?” he asked and I nodded yet again, still not moving though. To be honest, I didn’t want to. I was comfortable like this, cuddled up against Andy’s chest, our legs a tangled mess and arms around his waist. We couldn’t get any closer and I wanted to keep it like this.
“Baby, you need to move then” he chuckled and I shook my head. No. No, I didn’t need to move. I refused to. Andy pressed a kiss to my forehead, his arms loosening their grip around my waist. I sighed in discontent and looked up at him.
“Let’s go to bed. I promise I’ll massage your back if you want me to” Andy said and stared into my eyes. I leant up and lightly brushed my lips against his for a brief moment before pulling away and standing up. I just wanted to lay down with him but a massage didn’t sound too bad either. My hands reached out for him and he grabbed them, letting me pull him to his feet. I started walking towards my bedroom, still holding on to one of his hands, never wanting to let go.

I lay down on my stomach while Andy got comfortable just below my ass. We were both only in our boxers, Andy’s hands gently caressed my back. He slowly started kneading my tense muscles, beginning with my neck. I silently moaned, hoping he wouldn’t hear me. It felt so good. His fingers worked magic, rubbing the tension out of my sore back. Every now and then Andy leant down to press light kisses on my neck, shoulders, back. He was nothing but gentle, not stopping until he loosened all the knots. His hands stroked my back once more before he got off and lay down next to me. My face had been buried in my pillow all the while, hopefully silencing my moans.
“Better?” Andy asked quietly, one of his hands coming up to push some of my hair behind my ear. I nodded my head and turned to face him. My breath hitched; I didn’t expect him so close to me. Our noses were nearly touching; the hand that previously played with my hair draped itself around my waist.
“Hello there” Andy’s deep voice said with a chuckle and I nearly stopped breathing. Why did he have to be so sexy? I let one of my hands run through his raven hair, smiling at its softness.
“Hey” I whispered back. If I would lean in, our lips would meet. We were so close, but it didn’t make me uncomfortable. On the contrary, I loved being so close to him.
Andy brought down his head a bit and brushed his lips against mine. I let out a shaky breath and closed my eyes, still not quite believing what was happening.
“Can I?” he whispered, brushing my lips again. I simply nodded. I wanted this to happen. I wanted him to kiss me.
I opened my eyes, meeting Andy’s crystal blue stare. He leant in and my eyes fell close again and I relished the feeling of his lips against mine. The kiss was light at first, our lips barely touching. I moved a bit closer to him and pressed my lips to his more. My hand moved to his neck, pulling him to me. Colorful sparks were flying everywhere and the butterflies in my stomach seemed to throw a party with confetti and fireworks and all that shit. I’ve never felt like this before, not even with Corey. We seemed to fit perfectly together.
After a few moments I felt Andy’s tongue tracing my lower lip. I could barely hold back the moan that threatened to make its way up my throat. Opening my lips, I granted him entrance and let him explore my mouth, before gently prodding his tongue with mine. That was obviously the last straw for Andy. He rolled us over, so he was on top of me. One of his hands got tangled in my hair, pulling a bit. I let out the moan I’d been holding in and I could feel him smirk. His other hand rested next to my head, holding him up, so he wouldn’t crush me. My lips moved against his more desperately. One of my hands was tangled in his soft hair, the other one grabbed at his shoulder, no doubt leaving marks.
Andy broke the kiss a few moments later, earning a growl from me, but he just chuckled.
“Babe, we need to breathe” he said, still trying to catch his breath. I wasn’t better either, I could barely breathe, but damn, that kiss was perfect. I twirled a strand of his hair with my fingers, looking into his eyes. They seemed to glow in the darkness of my room, staring back at me. My grip on his shoulder had loosened and that hand was now on his back, my fingers ghosting over the bare skin. He shuddered at the contact and hung his head down low, eyes closed. I leaned up and pressed my lips to his in a short kiss. What just happened mere minutes ago seemed so surreal to me, as if it hadn’t even been true. This had to be one of my dreams again.
Andy raised his head a bit again, a smile playing around his lips. He was absolutely gorgeous. The way his lip ring had dug into my lip… I shuddered at the thought. Andy gave me a curious glance.
“What are you thinking about?” he asked, leaning down to brush his lips with mine yet again.
“Your lips” I whispered, my eyes closed. Then I felt them on mine again. They were soft and warm, except for the cool metallic ring that added a little extra to the thrill. As if kissing Andy wasn’t exciting enough, the little loop made it even more exciting. I kissed back immediately, not able to resist him. He pulled on my lower lip and holy shit that made my hips buck up and a moan passed my lips. Andy groaned at the friction and forced his tongue into my mouth. I battled his tongue with my own, pushing my hips up once more, causing Andy to moan and he had to allow my tongue into his mouth. I roamed its inside as if to make a map in my mind, massaging his tongue, biting his lip. He moaned again, now pressing his hips against mine, holding it in place. I tightened my grip in his hair and that was when he pulled away with a growl. His breathing was heavy, his eyes closed.
“We should wait with such things, you know…” he trailed off. My brows furrowed. I wanted to do that with him, I wanted to feel him. But he was right. As soon as it would get too far for my fucked up mind I would probably freak and we knew how that ended last time. With us cuddled up in my bed, but also with me crying on his lap. No, I didn’t want to embarrass myself again.
“You’re right” I whispered, brushing my lips with his once more, just to feel him one final time. My hand loosened the grip on his hair; instead I pushed it through the black silkiness. Andy caressed my cheek and pressed another short kiss to my lips. I tried to ignore my boner the best I could, even though I knew that Andy was in the same state.
Andy rolled off of me and I felt lonely at once, even though he was right next to me. Only when his arms circled around my waist did I feel better. I turned to face him and nuzzled my head into his neck, breathing in his scent. Both my hands rested on his back, drawing little patterns.
“Ands?” I asked quietly, my voice already thick with sleep. He hummed in response, so I continued. “Can you sing for me?” I felt him smile into my hair before kissing it. It was silent for a few moments and I thought he fell asleep. But then he started to sing.
“Let me be the one who calls you baby all the time
Surely you can take some comfort knowing that you’re mine
Just hold me tight, lay by my side
And let me be the one who calls you baby all the time

“I found my place in the world
Could stare at your face for the rest of my days
Now I can breathe, turn my insides out
And smother me
Warm and alive, I’m all over you
Would you smother me?”
I smiled as I cuddled closer to Andy, slowly drifting off.

The next morning I woke up with something warm pressed up against me. I slowly opened my eyes to reveal a sleeping Andy. I smiled to myself as I remembered the evening before and ran my fingers through his hair. He looked so cute asleep, some hair sticking up here and there, his arms still around my waist and eyes closed. I sighed. Maybe we could make a relationship work. I knew that this was a big thought for me, as I just got comfortable around Andy, but somehow I didn’t know what to do without him anymore. There was movement next to me, so I looked up to find Andy stirring. A soft smile placed itself on my face as he opened his ocean blue eyes that I’d grown so fond of.
“Good morning” I said. Andy smiled sleepily and I nearly awed at his cuteness.
“Mornin’” he said in his deep, rough morning voice. Personally, I found it incredibly sexy. He leant forward and pressed his lips to mine. I kissed back, the smile never leaving my face in the progress. We pulled away and just stared into each other’s eyes. That was until my stomach growled and we both chuckled.
“Well, breakfast then.” I said cheerily and got up to make some pancakes. When I reached the door I turned around once more.
“Feel free to shower in the meantime” I winked and went into the kitchen.

A couple of minutes later and Andy and me said at the kitchen table, having breakfast.
“I guess we have some things to talk about” Andy said cautiously, looking at me to see my reaction.
“Yeah, I guess so” I mumbled. I hated talking, but we needed to clear some things up.
“Yesterday…” Andy trailed off. His thoughts apparently began to wander as he just stared at the wall in front of him.
“Yeah, yesterday” I said, nudging him. He looked at me surprised and chuckled.
“Well, er, I’ll just start…” he said and I nodded, waiting for him to continue. “Listen Ash… I like you a lot, that was no joke. I just interrupted what we were doing because I didn’t think it was a good idea. Yet. We need to work on whatever we’ve got. We’ve got something, don’t we?” All of a sudden he looked so unsure. I nodded though.
“Yeah, well, I think so. I like you too, even though you can be pretty annoying. But I actually enjoy spending time with me, so I wouldn’t mind if we’d take this further than just a normal friendship, you know?” I said. For me it didn’t make any sense, but Andy apparently understood what I wanted to say.
“So, will you be my boyfriend?” he asked with a huge smile on his face. I grinned and nodded.
“Yeah, gladly.” I answered and earned myself a peck on the lips. I couldn’t help the smile on my face. “But, Andy, please let’s keep this unofficial, ok? I don’t care whether the guys know, but I seriously don’t wanna come out to the school yet.”
My plea was more a whisper than anything else, but Andy just took my hand and nodded, his face serious.
“Of course, baby. We’ll take our time. I actually thought I would need to argue with you and you would put up a fight” he chuckled and I couldn’t help myself but laugh along with him.
“Well, I also kinda surprised myself.” I admitted. “But it just feels so right with you.”

Notes

I'm so sorry I've kept you waiting for so long, but I had some serious writer's block! Anyways, here is the chapter with Andley fluff (nearly smut, though) and it's also kinda long. I hope y'all enjoy! :)
The song Andy sings is "Smother me" by The Used.

xoxo RebelliousRedamancy

Don't Go by Bring Me The Horizon feat. Lights
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_NFzDSudw10

Smother Me by The Used
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rnnLvX8ARcs