Andy Biersack’s Point of View

I sat in history class and threw constantly glances at the seat next to mine. It was empty and that was odd, because Ash never missed out on classes. He hadn’t been ill once and he seemed just fine the day before. So why wasn’t he here? Maybe he just skipped, because he was so fed up with the guys and me from the weekend. That didn’t seem like an Ashley-ish thing to do though. I should have called him when I saw he wasn’t already in his seat this morning before class started. I should have called then and there. What if he had an accident and was in hospital and nobody knew about it?
A thousand horrible things raced through my mind, cut short by a timid knock on the door. The class had started fifteen minutes ago and our teacher turned around to see who was disturbing his important lesson.
“Come in!” he shouted. The door opened up and revealed a slightly out of breath looking Ashley Purdy.
“I’m sorry, Sir. I slept in.” he explained and the teacher just nodded, turning around to continue writing on the board. Ashley made his way to his seat and shot me a small smile. He honestly didn’t look like he had gotten a lot of sleep and I was concerned about that. Did he have nightmares? Or some kind of insomnia? I bit my bottom lip, as I looked at him. Maybe it had something to do with me?
Suddenly I noticed the sickening sound of people sniggering about Ashley being late, assuming he was just late because he needed to cut. I shot them all death glares what made them shut up and turn around again.
Ashley took out his things and started copying the notes from the board, not looking at our classmates.
“Ash” I whisper shouted at him. He looked up confused, silently asking me what I wanted. “Ash, I was worried. Are you ok?”
“Mr. Biersack you can discuss your week end with Mr. Purdy during lunch break, but not in my lesson.” our teacher shouted at me. I had seen Ash nodding his head to my question from the corner of my eyes, so everything was fine.
“Yes, Sir.” I answered and looked back at my notes. During the rest of the lesson I thought about the weekend. Ashley and I had spent the remaining Sunday with the guys. We had practiced some more before ordering pizza and playing truth or dare. Ash had seemed to enjoy our company, though some questions obviously had made him uncomfortable. Throughout the whole day I had resisted the urge to just cuddle him or take his hand or hug him too much. There wasn’t anything I loved more than being close to Ashley at the moment, but I didn’t think he wanted all the guys to know that he likes boys, so I just waited until we were heading home in the evening. I took his hand on the way and he smiled a bit at that. He didn’t shrug me off and that was a huge development for him. I was pretty sure he started to like me and that made me feel good about the whole thing. A smile made its way on my face as I thought about our goodbye.

We reach the main entrance of Ashley’s apartment complex and just stand in front of it for a few moments, not letting go of the other’s hand. It feels good and tingles a little, making me smile. I see that Ash also has a smile on his face while he looks down at our intertwined fingers. They fit so perfectly… I know I have to go eventually though, because there is still some homework waiting for the both of us. Would a kiss be bad idea? I normally never think such things over, but with Ash it’s different. I don’t want to scare him off again. Deciding that it’s worth a try, I lean towards him and press a light kiss to his cheek, successfully making him blush. I linger a bit in that position, turning my head so that my mouth is right next to his ear.
“See, we’re not that bad!” I murmur quietly.
“Persistent little fuckers” Ashley mutters, but laughs nonetheless. I chuckle and kiss his cheek again, leaning back afterwards. I hear a sad sigh escape Ashley’s lips, his eyes are closed. Smiling at the effect I have on him, I let go of his hand reluctantly.
“I’ll see you tomorrow” I say and turn around, running across the street to my own flat.

We had managed to become quite close over the weekend and I sure as hell didn’t want it to change just because we were in school. I could tell that the guys also liked him and CC wrote me messages the whole Sunday evening that we had to convince Ash to play in our band and to hang out with us and to be friends with us. I had chuckled at every message I got and finally cracked up laughing when he texted me that we totally needed “to adopt that kid”. Too bad I just wanted to fuck him once and dump him. That still was the plan, even though I always felt guilty while thinking about it. I guess I was just too stubborn to admit to myself that I liked him more than I could handle. Even though I didn’t know him too well, my mind made me think that we could be soul mates, terror twins, inseparable. I always shook the thought off. I didn’t want or need a soul mate. I was happy on my own.
The bell pulled me out of my thoughts and I hurried to pack my things together and get out of this damned classroom. I hated history.
“Hey” a small voice next to me said. I turned around and smiled at Ashley.
“Hey Ash! Are you ok? You’ve never been late! I was so worried, I thought something happened and-“ I was cut short by Ash’s laugh. I looked at him confused.
“Don’t worry, I’m fine. I just thought five more minutes couldn’t hurt when my alarm went off. Those turned into an hour somehow. I don’t know how this could happen.” he explained. He still sounded tired somehow. I was not really convinced.
“Are you sure? You still sound pretty tired…” I said and stared into his chocolate brown eyes. Even in them I could see how tired he still was, but he just nodded his head, trying to be convincing with a smile on his lips. I just looked at him skeptically.
“I’m fine, Batman. Really. No need for rescue here” he told me and left the classroom with a wink in my direction. I chuckled a bit and then realized that Jinxx had raised an eyebrow at me.
“He calls you Batman? Seriously?” he asked and I nodded my head in reply.
“Yup, he does” I just said and also left the classroom for my next class.

During lunch break I ran into Ashley and took his wrist, practically dragging him along to “our” table. He seemed confused at first, but as soon as he realized where we were heading he tried to free himself, still not wanting to spend more time with us than necessary.
“No, really Andy, let me go.” he nearly begged and struggled against my grip on his wrist.
“No, Ash.” I said sternly, abruptly coming to a halt and nearly causing Ashley to run into me. I turned around and looked into his eyes. “Ash, please just let it happen. We’re really not that bad and besides we all like you. For fuck’s sake, CC is convinced that he needs to adopt you! Please just hang with us, even if it’s only in school!”
Ashley sighed and shook his head, but followed after me without struggling against my grip. His gaze was fixed on the ground as I led him to the others and made him sit next to me.
“Hi Ashley!” CC beamed, but Ash just muttered a “hey” and kept staring at the table. I sighed and rubbed my hand over his thigh, trying to comfort him. He didn’t react at all and I gave up, finally digging into my food. The guys and I just talked about rehearsal and how awesome we were and I told them about the song that I had started to write. Then we tried to discuss a band name again, but still couldn’t come up with something decent. All the while Ashley sat quietly beside me, not saying a word. He seemed so uncomfortable. Jake had given me a glare when I dragged Ash behind me, because he wanted for Ash to take his own time to come to us. I had shrugged him off, because, really, I wanted Ashley to hang out with us, so he would maybe trust me some more.
The bell rang and I grabbed Ash’s hand for a tiny moment, giving it a small squeeze, before letting go again. I stood up and stretched. The guys did the same, minus Ashley, who had already walked off.
“Dude!” Jake snapped at me with a somewhat menacing look on his face.

“What?” I asked back and grabbed my backpack, flinging it over my shoulder.
“Seriously, Ashley needs some time to adjust. You can’t just drag him around the way you want! I know you want him in your pants, but now I’d rather you wouldn’t! He’s an amazing kid, he is broken already. Andy, he doesn’t need your shit too!” Jake growled. I was pretty taken aback by his outburst. Even though I knew he was right and that without even knowing Ash’s story, I shrugged and just walked off.

When I left the school after my last class I was surprised to see Ashley waiting for me. I immediately smiled and ran to him, engulfing him in a hug. He hesitated before slightly hugging me back. He even chuckled a little.
“Thanks for waiting!” I said and beamed at him. I was genuinely happy that he waited, I couldn’t tell why though. It wasn’t like it meant something to me. Or was it?
“Anytime. We’re going into the same direction anyway.” He answered and started walking. I fell in beside him and we walked in silence for a while. I really didn’t dare to take his hand in mine, even though I wanted to. But I pushed him enough for today, so I just walked next to him, not saying a work, which is pretty unusual for me.
“Andy?” Ash said, successfully startling me.
“Huh?” I made and mentally slapped myself. Sometimes I thought that my biggest talent was sounding like a retard.
“Are you ok?” he asked, concern etched through his voice. I looked at him confused. I should be asking him this question, it was me dragging him around today and probably pushing him too far.
“Yes of course, why?” I asked back, still confused.
“You’re so quiet. That’s not normal” Ash said shrugging and glanced at me from the side. I raised an eyebrow.
“I guess my subconscious decided that I annoyed you enough for one day.” I replied with a shrug. It was true somehow. I really had annoyed him. I had been pushy. I pushed him into sitting with us, even though he didn’t want to. My lower got caught between my teeth as I started to feel bad and regret my behavior.
“It’s ok, really. I haven’t been myself either. I’m just so damn tired, because I couldn’t sleep…” he trailed off and sighed.
“It’s not ok, and you know it. I promised to stop annoying you and all I do is making it worse. I’m so pushy…” I just started to rant about myself being an asshole when Ash suddenly stopped and pulled me into a hug. I was taken aback by his sudden gesture, but returned the hug nonetheless, resting my head on his while holding him close to me. It just felt so good.
“Believe me, it is. I guess I need somehow who forces me to be social again. I’m sorry I’ve been an asshole.” he muttered into my chest. I twirled some of his hair around my fingers, smiling at its softness. My eyebrows furrowed as a thought occurred me.
“Why haven’t you been sleeping well? You also slept badly on Sunday…” I lightly stroked his cheek before putting my fingers under his chin and pushing his head up to look at me. I didn’t want him lying to me. Ashley blushed and shrugged his shoulders, trying to look away. I was confused to no end now.
“I don’t know” he whispered and bit his lip.
“Bullshit, Ash! Don’t lie to me!” I nearly shouted in despair. Why wouldn’t he talk to me? I could see there was something bugging him.
“Ok, maybe I just don’t wanna talk about it, ok?” he snapped and glared at me, still a red tint to his cheeks. I let go of his chin and casted my eyes down. Fuck.
“Sorry” I muttered and really meant it. What was wrong with me today? Why was I so pushy? I heard Ash sigh.
“It’s ok, Batman” he said silently, resting his head against my chest again. I felt his grip around my waist tighten and bit my lip as I felt our more private areas pushed together ever so gently. I nearly moaned at the contact and blushed furiously. There it was, the answer to all my questions: I was horny as fuck. And then a thought pushed its way into my mind. What if I wasn’t the only one horny here? Ash blushed and tried to look away and didn’t want to talk about it. On Sunday he also kind of avoided to look at me. Oh my god. He couldn’t… did he have sex dreams about me? Should I ask him? Inwardly shaking my head, I decided to just let the topic drop. He clearly didn’t want to talk about it and I still thought I’d already annoyed him enough.
“Let’s go?” I suggested and felt him nod. He didn’t let go, though. I decided that I’d take his hand. That couldn’t hurt. I kissed the top of his head and sighing Ashley stepped out of our embrace. I could see tears in his eyes and worry took over.
“Hey” he whispered, bringing my hands up to his face. “What is it, babe?”
The pet name slipped, but it didn’t seem to bother him.
“I just needed this hug. Thank you” he said and pecked my cheek, making me smile.
“Anything for you” I replied. We started walking again and this time I took his hand in mine, intertwining our fingers lovingly. I rubbed my thumb gently over the back of his hand. Ash smiled at me and squeezed my hand. This was good and it felt so good. I sighed and never wanted to let him go.

Notes

So, this is the new chapter! :) I know it took long and I'm very sorry. :( I hope y'all like it though! And as promised, you will find the link to the song I used in the title right underneath this Author's note! :)

Tell me what you think!

xoxo Rebellious Redamancy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XygCnBVf-QY