Andy POV


Those two words had the ability to turn my life inside out. ‘I’m pregnant…’ How was I supposed to father a child when I was barley able to keep my brother alive when our parents died? How am I supposed to protect not one but two people now? I wasn’t ready to have a kid…

“What…?” I realized my mouth had opened and I was just starring into nothing.

I couldn’t look at her, she looked so sad. I knew she wanted me to be supportive, to help, to say that I would always be there for her and the…baby.

“I…I have to…” I didn’t know what to say!

I walked out of the bedroom trying not to look at Zain so he wouldn't see the pain I was currently feeling. When I got outside I leaned against the door wanting to never have heard what Cat had to say. I was only 22, the rest of my life was going to be devoted to this kid. I wasn’t even big brother material let alone father material. I needed to clear my head. Let this information sink in. I didn’t want kids! I hated the thought of me having to raise one! I thought we were being careful? I guess not.

I swore to myself that I would never let myself have a child for the selfish reason that when I died they would have no one. I knew that F.E.A.R. had died but his influence had not. The world was still in a bad place for a kid. Why would anyone want to have a fucking kid in this shit hole?!
Trust me I wanted to be there for Catherine. And I would be…but I didn’t know about saying I was the dad. I had mindlessly walked toward Ashley’s house and by the time I had reached there I had come up with the conclusion that I would be there for Catherine as a friend but nothing else. I didn’t want half of the responsibility that it took to raise a child.

“Hey, man.” I guess I had knocked on the door mindlessly too.

“Hey, Ashley…can I talk to you?” I asked moving my hair out of my face.

“Yeah, sure man, come in.”

“Thanks,” I walked inside and stood in the middle of his living area.

“Did…umm, Kitty tell you?” He asked closing the door behind me.

She told him before she told me!? “Yeah.”

“I thought you would be happy about it?” He asked moving to stand in front of me with his arms crossed.

“You know how I am with babies, why would you think this would make me happy?” I was actually kind of pissed at myself for letting her get pregnant.

“Whoa man, even if I felt the way you feel about kids I would be happy if my girlfriend is bringing a new generation into the world. The kid has the ability to change the world! They could be the start of something greater!” Who had taken over my best friend?

“This place isn’t a place for kids. Even without F.E.A.R. being in it. His influence is everywhere! And what happens when Catherine or I get sick and die? What happens to the kid then? They have no one.” I moved over to the couch so I could sit.

Ashley sighed before joining me. “Look, I know you don’t want your children to be left alone like you were. But don’t take it out on Kitty, she doesn’t deserve to take any of your shit. If nothing else then be there for her as a friend.” Jesus Christ who had he become?

"I want to, trust me, I just...can't she just..." I stammered not wanting to really say what was on my mind.

"What? Kill the thing?" Here I was trying to not say it and he just blurts it out.

"Well not when you say it that way." I rubbed the back of my neck feeling like a complete dick.

"Look, unless you want to step in and be a father for her, oh sorry, YOUR GODDAMN CHILD, then you can't have any say in what she does with it.”

I knew he was right. I needed to be the man this baby needed. I needed to be the man Catherine needed...I couldn't do that standing in the back of the scene like a little bitch. But I never wanted kids. Was this a punishment for what I did to my parents so long ago? Was I supposed to make it up to what ever god is out there that I would understand what they felt to lose a child? It was a sick thought that should have never led me to conclusion I planned in my sick little mind. A decision I would regret for the rest of my life...

"Thanks Ash," I said before walking out of his house to put my, at the time most conceivable plan, into action.

It felt like an eternity walking to Jinxx's doctor hall. What would I say to him that would help him understand my situation? Would he even agree? He had to agree, right? I couldn't even do anything without Cat's permission first anyways. Jinxx came up to me as soon as I waked into the hall.

"Hey, bud what's up?" He said grinning.

"Can I ask you something that you promise not to tell anyone?" I went right into it, god what was I getting myself into.

His smile dropped and he brought me into a room that no patient had occupied. "Yeah, of course you can.

"I don't want this kid..."

"I'm guessing she just told you?" He asked.

I nodded my head and dropped my gaze to my boots. "You don't understand...I really don't want this kid, like in the world..."

"What are you asking me?" He gave me a worried look.

"I'm asking if you could give her the option to keep the baby...or...abort it..." I was the worst person in the world and I wasn't aware.

"Do you know what you're asking?!" He whispered a yell.

"I just..."

"No! You don't understand what you're asking! That's your kid in her! You're killing a part of YOU!" He grabbed my upper arms almost shaking me.

"I won't do anything! Just offer her that other choice! PLEASE it will be her decision!" No matter how loud I yelled it wasn't going to justify what I wanted.

"No!" He began to walk away when I pulled him back to face me.

"No one will force her to do anything, just let her know that that option is available to her..."

He glanced to the side before clenching his teeth and turning back to me. "Do you want that babies death on your hands if she takes that option?"

That was a question I had to debate for a few second before slowly nodding my head. "I rather have it die before it can feel than when it's ten years old."

Death before your time in this world was inevitable. Jinxx nodded then we parted ways. I went back home to see Catherine sitting on the couch with no emotion on her face. Her hands were folded in her lap and she seemed to be staring off into space. What of she didn't take the other option? I would have to deal with this baby. But by the looks of it she didn't seem too happy with it either. When I walked in she paid no attention until I sat down beside her and took her hands in mine.

She gave me a weak smile before letting tears roll down her face. I brought her head to my chest and tried to soothe her but that seemed to only make her cry more.

“I'm sorry...” she murmured into my chest.

“No, don't be.”

One Week Later

Catherine had seemed depressed every morning she woke up. I tired to make her happy but nothing I could do was helping. She never talked to Esther, all she did was go talk to Jinxx and lay at home. What had I done? Was I making this kid the worst thing in her life? I was beginning to feel more and more like I actually wanted the child. It was mine anyway.

“Hey, babe I'm home.” I called as I waked into the living area after a long day with Coma talking about after war things.

The house was quiet and I got worried. I looked through the whole house before finding her in our bedroom curled into a ball on the floor. I ran to her to see her sobbing silently. I pulled her onto the bed and brought her into my chest.

“I just want to be happy. I want you to know that you'll love me no matter what I do.” She cried into my chest.

At that moment I knew what had happened, she had taken the...other option, and she was backing out now. And I was so relieved for that. I never knew how much I wanted this unborn baby until I realized that it could die before I even get to see its face. Before I got to hear its laugh. Before I got to see it watch all of the beautiful things in life.

“I will never stop loving you,” I put my hand on her still flat stomach, “or this baby. I won't ever let either of you down. And that's a promise.”

This baby was going to be the most important thing that will ever happen in my life. And I was planning on being for it the whole way. I was going to stand by Catherine no matter happened. I was going to be the best fucking father this kid will ever see.