Broken Lungs

As I walked inside and went up to the 6th floor, I saw Hannah, the nurse that's been helping my mom, sitting behind the nurses counter talking to two police officers. I walked towards them with my duffelbag strapped over my shoulder. Hannah saw me once I got closer and gestured towards me for the officers.

"Good morning Melissa, good to see you again. Your mother just woke up and is speaking to another officer in her room" she said to me. I gave a small smile, "morning hannah, good to see you too. It's probably the same one that I spoke to the other night when I found out about my mom."

One of the officers held out his hand for me to shake, "Hello miss, we're here to keep an eye out for the man that attacked your mother and ensure you two are always safe," he said shaking my hand.

"That and if you two need anything at all, you can just let us know and we'll see what we can do," the female officer said giving a gentle smile.

"Thank you both, it means a lot to me knowing she's safe with you here" I said to them receiving nods and smiles from the two of them.

"Hannah, if you don't mind, I'm gonna go ahead and head to my moms room" I said pointing down the hall.

"Of course, go right ahead Melissa. Are you going to be staying the night as well?" She asked motioning towards my duffle and I nodded.

"Yeah, I hope that's alright, I'm actually by myself now so I was hoping I could sleep in her room for the next few days while I'm here" I said giving a nervous unsure smile. She just smiled and nodded, "of course, I'll bring you some extra pillows and blankets later tonight before you go to sleep."

I nodded and mouthed thank you before excusing myself and walking towards my moms room. I noticed the door was open but lightly knocked on the door anyways not wanting to interrupt. I peaked my head in slightly just as they looked towards the door.

"Sorry, am I interrupting anything?" I asked and walked in as they shook their heads.

"Hello ma'am, I'm Officer Burroughs, we had spoke on the phone. I'm very sorry for the mess you two have been put through and we're going to do everything we can to find and put this guy away for a long time" Officer Burroughs said standing up and shaking my hand.

"Thank you" I muttered.

"Hi honey, where's your friend?" My mom asked looking behind me wondering about Ashley. I sadly smiled and sighed internally missing him again, "oh, there was an emergency and he had to fly back to boston. I told him I'd catch up with him later and I'd be here for a while longer."

"Oh, I'm sorry honey. Why didn't you go back with him?" She asked confused.

"I wanted to stay here with you for a bit longer since they're gonna continue with their tour again after these 2 weeks" I said walking over to her bed and setting my duffle on the long wall seat by the window.

"I'm gonna go ahead and sleepover here for the rest of my visit, okay momma? Hannah already said it was fine too" I said sitting on the edge of her bed.

"Alright sweetheart, that's fine" she said combing her fingers through my hair. She moved over slightly so I could sit next to her on her left in her bed. I rested my head on her shoulder when she put her arm around me.

"So what exactly do you want to know, officer?" My mom asked him rubbing my arm softly.

"Well, ma'am, mostly we want to figure out why the guy did it in the first place," he said rubbing his bald head. 'I already know why..' I thought to myself frowning and looking down.

"It didn't seem like an attempt of thievery, although he took your phone, but why take just that? And he could have just as easily killed you, but he didn't. He chose to keep you alive for a reason, to taunt you" he said. I froze and felt the color in my face vanish. I felt my breath hitch in my throat as the words repeated in my head.

'He could have just as easily killed you, but he didn't. He chose to keep you alive for a reason, to taunt you'

'Why? Why go through all this trouble and cause so much? What the fuck does he have planned?' I thought to myself getting lost in my own mind.

"Melissa?" I looked over to the officer who was looking at me concerned.

"Hm?"

"Ma'am are you alright? You seem in thought; do you know who might've done this to your mother?" He asked and I froze. 'Should I tell him?' I asked myself in thought. I nervously looked at my mom mentally asking if I should say anything. She gave a small nervous smile and nodded.

"Um, yes, I do.."

"Who?" He asked furrowing his brows together.

"Um, he- it was-" I sighed and took a deep breath then exhaling slowly and closing my eyes. I'm terrified, only because if they try and find him and he's run off to avoid it, I don't want him hunting down my mom again or following me back. Those are the last things I need.

"It was, uh, my ex boyfriend" I said nervously.

"He was pissed off at me for leaving him.. after he kidnapped me.." I said feeling the tears in my eyes starting to form. I saw my mom in the corner of my eye look at me shocked and heartbroken.

"What?" She said as she let a few tears fall from her eyes. I looked at her sadly and looked back down at my hands frowning.

I sighed, "the morning you left, he followed me. I was walking and got half way to work when all of a sudden I was knocked out and woke up in some dark room. He kept me there for 2 months" I said the last part in a whisper.

"Melissa, how did you manage to get out?" Officer Burroughs asked me. I looked at him and sighed.

"It's a long story.." I simply began.

__________________________________

Explaining to both my mom and Burroughs about what happened was painful. My mom cried, worse than I had ever seen. She kept blaming herself for it but I kept telling her it really was mine. Officer Burroughs had gave his sincere apologies to the both of us before leaving after asking a few more questions. I was lying on the wall seat staring at the ceiling. Officer Burroughs had gave a small description of Alex to the other two officers before heading back to the police department. My mom had fell asleep after a good hour of crying and almost having a panic attack. She feared me being here would trigger something in Alex and he'd find and harm me again. Hannah had to come in after hearing the heart monitor beeping rapidly and finally calming her. She gave my mom a medication that helped her get to sleep faster and also relaxed her. Talking about what Alex did to us, broke both our hearts, even officer burroughs.
I was starting to feel alone again, lying her with the memories haunting me and replaying over and over in my head.

'You deserved it, you know. You had it coming to you. Yet you were still too blind to see his inner monster before you let him sink his teeth further in you. You ignorant child, you were his prey. You may have some slight hope that things will get better, but just wait and watch, it'll get worse' the voice said before letting out a low evil chuckle.

'Okay, who the hell are you and why do you keep doing this? Just leave me alone!' I thought back and tangled my fingers in my hair wanting so badly to just pull it out and cry again.

'Oh sweetheart, you truly are vapid. I'm just a little something your own mind created once Alex came into your life. I guess you can say I'm a little part of him. I just decided not to make myself aware until I noticed you actually falling for that, rock star. Egh, it was like I could feel the warmth from your heart' the voice said disgusted. I sighed to myself not knowing what to do.

"I must be going crazy.." I mumbled to myself.

I was wishing Ashley was here so I could turn to him and just cry in his arms.

I just wanted someone to talk to. I took out my phone and looked through my contacts until I stopped on one. One I knew I could always turn to. I clicked the number and put the phone to my ear waiting as it rung.

"Hello?" He asked confused.

"Uh.. hey batman, it's me" I said nervously hoping he wouldn't hang up as soon as he figured it out.

"Mouse? Is that you?" He asked shocked. "I didn't recognize the number. How are you? Wait, is he around?" Daniel asked cautiously.

"Yeah it's me, I'm fi-" I sighed, "I'm honestly terrible right now. Mom's in the hospital, I'm stressed and going crazy and I don't know who else to turn to. You were always there for me. But no, he's not. We broke up 5 months ago. I'm by myself here in my moms hospital room"

"Oh my god, mouse I'm so sorry. Is she okay? Are you okay? What happened?" He continued to ask worriedly. I gave a small smile at his caring state. Yes, daniel's always been like this which is why he was always my favorite. He always referred to me as his little sister too.

"It's a long crazy story. Look, I miss you and it's been months since I've seen or spoke to you. Do you think you can come pick me up? Mom's asleep and I don't want to disturb her. I'll explain everything at your house"

"Sure thing mouse, but actually I hope you don't mind, I'm over at mason's. We were hanging out but I'm sure he'd love to see you again too" he said.

"HEY MELISSA" I heard mason yell in the background.

"Hi mason" I said smiling and rolling my eyes.

"She said hi," he faintly said moving his phone away, "okay mouse, text me the address and I'll be on my way.

"Okay" I muttered before he hung up. I quickly texted him the address and name of the hospital.

-1 hour later-

Batman had picked me up with mason. They both greeted me with long caring bear hugs. They let me ride in the passenger seat as we drove back to masons house. They sat me down and asked all types of questions. I had told them everything, even about jess and Ashley. Minus her pregnancy scare because that was just between me and her.

"Jesus mouse, you went through all of that? And the jess of burn bright is taking care of you now?" Daniel asked.

I shrugged and nodded, "yeah, she really is great. I don't know where I'd be if she didn't find me" I said sadly.

"Well, we're happy for you. And did you mention you were actually falling in love?" He asked starting to smile widely.

I started to blush, "I never said that" I muttered biting my lip and looking away.

"Melissa, you've never been as happy or love struck as you are with Ashley like you said" mason said.

"Oh so what? Besides you guys already know how he is. He's a player and he doesn't do relationships" I said doubtfully.

"Oh really? Because you told us about you two cuddling and him saying he likes you and wants to be with you. He had a dream about you and about being with you. He even told his fans you two weren't together, yet" batman said crossing his arms and smirking.

"Maybe he's just messing with me or going through a phase. He loves women, why would he want to tie down with just one? He'll get bored of me. Like everyone else" I mumbled frowning to myself.

"Did you ever think that maybe he's finally tired of that? And now for once he wants to settle down?" Mason asked raising his brows.

I sighed and shrugged, "maybe, I don't know. I'm not going to get my hopes up. I'll just have to wait and see."

'You shouldn't get your hopes up, why would he want you anyways? You're a broken soul and you're not even easy. He'll give up on you, trust me' the evil voice in my head said. I placed my face in my hands.

"Go away.." I mumbled.

"Mouse?"

"Hm"

"What's wrong?" Batman asked sitting next to me. I sighed and rubbes my face with my hands unsure if I should tell him about the voice and they see me as crazy too. 'Oh they will darling'

"It's nothing, just stressed out and not feeling too well. Hold on" I said getting up and running out the room into the hallway. I ran in the bathroom and shut the door behind me before lifting the lid to the toilet and vomiting, yet again. I flushed the toilet once I was done and took a handful of water in my hand drinking it. Once I wiped the tears from my face I straightened myself up fixing my hair and clothes then walked back out into masons room.

"What happened?" Mason asked worriedly.

"Were you crying?" Batman asked.

"No, I just needed to puke. I'm stressing myself sick and I don't know what to do. My anxiety is kicking in again now that Ashley's not here and mom there in the hospital" I muttered trying to take a deep breath.

"Look, Melissa, I feel there's something you should know. I know it's probably not the best time but-"

"Mason, no not now" batman cut him off.

"Daniel she has to know" he said raising his voice in frustration.

"Know what?" I asked nervously. They both looked at me sadly and sighed.

"Mouse, you remember when Alex told us to stay away from you or he'd hurt us?" Daniel asked and I nodded.

"Um, well, s-see- the thing is-" he stuttered on his words and sighed rubbing the back of his neck.

"Melissa, he didn't threaten to hurt us, he threatened to hurt you if we went near you ever again" mason said frowning. For a moment I felt my heart stop and my blood drain from my face.

"He threatened to hurt you really bad. You're like our little sis, mouse. Although it broke our hearts to tear ourselves from your life, we didn't want to put your life at risk. We would never forgive ourselves if you got hurt because of us" batman said sadly.

"Well it's a little too late for that, he already did, many times"

"We didn't want him to kill you, Melissa" mason said.

"What-"

"He said he would," batman cut me off, "Mel we love you, we're sorry we weren't there for you when you needed us. We were selfish and scared" I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. 'What if coming down here was a bad idea? If he finds out I was talking to them again he'll definitely hurt them' I could feel my heart starting to pound heavily and my breathing pick up more than usual. 'Shit, my anxiety'

"Mouse, calm down, you're starting to have a panic attack" Daniel said grabbing my face and trying to calm me. 'He's going to find you and hurt everyone you love, including that bass player' the voice mockingly said.

"Mouse? Mouse!" Daniel shouted and shook me by my shoulders trying to get my attention. Mason had ran out of the room for a minute and came back with a bottle of what looked like prescribed medicine.

"Here, take this," he said putting a little pill in my hand, "it'll calm you" Daniel looked at the bottle and mason hesitantly. Mason grabbed his monster off the bedside table and gave it to me.

"Wash it down with this"

"Mason I don't think that's a good ide-"

"Shut up daniel," he snapped cutting him off, "do you want her to relax or not?" He stared daggers at him and Daniel nodded.

"Okay then," he said before turning his attention to me, "take it and drink that, Melissa" I sighed and tossed the pill in my mouth and drowning it down with the monster.

"I'll be back" Mason said before walking out of his room closing the door behind him. After 5 minutes my heart rate started to slow down to normal as did my breathing. My muscles relaxed and so did the rest of my body. I started to feel, great, slightly weird and kind of like jelly, but great.

"Mouse, are you okay?" Daniel asked looking at me. I slowly nodded. My head felt weird and light. 'Wh-what's going on?' I thought to myself looking at my hands as I opened and closed them. I found it, interesting. I heard in my mind an entertained evil laugh. 'What are you laughing at? Stupid' I said to the voice as he snorted. 'Oh nothing sweetheart, nothing at all' he said evilly chuckling.

I saw mason slip back in and plugging his ipod into his stereo system putting on Don't Fall Asleep At The Helm dubstep remix by Architekt. It was like I could feel the beats through my body. It felt, amazing. I laid back slowly onto masons bed and looked up at the ceiling feeling my whole body vibrate.

I lost my heart, my home is the ocean.
The waves underneath will soon be my home.
I will fall asleep.
I'll close my eyes and dream of days when I wasn't all alone.

The fan looked like it was warping and then started to spike in rhythm with the song after the base dropped. 'What. Is. Happening?'

I'll miss my breath, there's no more left.
I'll miss the sound of the wind at my back.
The depths have a number, they call you by name.
Fall asleep, Davy Jones calls you.
So fall asleep, fall asleep and dream.

My eyes started to feel heavy.

"Mason where were you?" I heard daniel ask somewhat mad.

"I just went for a smoke" he spoke slowly before walking over to me and looking down with a faint smile growing on his face. I smiled back and let a laugh slip.

"It's working, she's calm now, so don't worry" he told daniel before laying next to me.

Fall deeper and deeper, the sirens are singing your songs.

"MASON, WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER" Daniel raised his voice at him yanking him up by the collar of his hoodie. Mason just giggled and shook his head, "dont. worry. about it"

"Mason, are you fucking high?"

"Maybe" he giggled again.

"What the fuck, we're supposed to be helping mouse and you're getting high" I heard him faintly say. His voice started to sound weird and get deep. 'Mel what are you doing?!' I heard a familiar voice ask me in my head. 'A-ashley?' I asked back.

'Yes sweetheart, what on earth are you doing? I just left this morning and you're doing drugs now?' He asked hearing the frown in his voice.

"I'm what?" I muttered confused.

'You're on drugs, you vacuous teenager' the evil voice cut in. After a moment I started to feel sick again and my heart rate picked up. I started hyperventilating and I couldn't control it.

"MASON YOU DUMBASS, SHE'S HAVING AN ANXIETY ATTACK"

"Wha-"

"GO START THE CAR WE HAVE TO TAKE HER TO THE HOSPITAL" he I guess yelled at him, I couldn't tell because it started to fade in with the background as I slowly slipped into unconsciousness. The last thing I remember was feeling myself being lifted bridal style. Then nothing.

___________________________________

I woke up to a very brightly lit room and shielded my eyes with my arms.

"Turn the lights off" I groaned.

"Oh, my apologies miss" I heard an unfamiliar voice say. I took my hands away once I saw the lights turn off and sighed. My head was pounding terribly. As I was about to rub my head I saw a small tube attached to my arm.

"What-"

"It's your IV. You were out for a while and you needed something to feed you" the person said walking up to me. I was, lying in a hospital bed? I looked down seeing myself in a paper dress, the ones they usually put patients in. I looked back up at the doctor seeing her frown slightly but then give a sad smile.

"Why am I here?" I asked her confused.

"Well, it seems you had a bad reaction to some," she cleared her throat, "ecstasy, miss"

"What?" I asked in a panic and she nodded.

"Doctor, please, you can't tell anyone. I didn't even know that's what I took. Please, I'm begging you!" I said quietly. She hesitated for a moment but nodded and walked over to my side placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Alright, Melissa, I won't tell. But see it as to not do it ever again. Especially for the next few months. You nearly put the baby at risk" she said firmly.

'Baby?'

I felt my heart stop for a minute as I sat there starting at her.

"N- what do you mean?" I asked starting to feel light headed.

"Ma'am, you're only three weeks along but you almost put that baby in danger"

"I-I'm pr-pregnant?" I asked feeling the tears forming in my eyes. She gave a sympathetic nod and placed a gentle hand on mine.

"Wait, three weeks? That means"

'oh god no' I thought to myself. The evil voice in my head started chuckling evilly again, 'oh god, yes my dear. Looks like Alex left a little present in your oven' he said pleased.

"Can you hand me the trash bin please?" I asked quickly and she jumped up grabbing it and handing it to me. I hugged the small trash bin to my chest as I puked. Once I was done she took it from me and laid me back down.

"No please, my mom doesn't need to know I'm sat as a patient too. I need to go back to her room." I said sitting up again and tossing the blanket off.

She sighed and came over taking off all the tubes, "Alright"

"Who's your mothers nurse?" She asked as I got off the bed taking off the paper gown and standing in my underwear.

"Hannah" I muttered as I started putting my clothes back on.

"Alright, I'll let her know about the baby so she can keep an eye on you too and feed you as well" I looked at her hesitantly but nodded.

"Just please make sure she doesn't tell my mom. I'll do that on my own, later" I said as we walked out of the room.

_____________________________________

I had gotten dressed in my pj's real quick while my mom was still asleep. It was 10pm and I was already exhausted. I put on my bambi pj's with Ashley's hustler hoodie on over it and my grey thigh highs.

I laid down on the wall seat pulling the 2 sets of blankets over me and tightly hugging the cake the cat plushie Ashley got me.
'I can't believe I'm pregnant.. I'm scared to tell Ashley but I don't know who else to tell.. unless' I thought taking my phone out and scrolling through my contacts stopping on the one I knew I could talk to about this. I clicked the number and waited as it rung.

"Hey mel" jess said once she picked up.

"Hey jessy, I need to talk to you about something, private. I'm too scared to tell ash right now and since you had almost the same experience, I know I can tell you"

"Okay?. What's going on?" She asked confused. I paused and sighed feeling my eyes well up.

"J-jessy, I'm pregnant" I stutter whispered into the phone.

Notes

http://www.polyvore.com/goodnight/set?id=106962877 thats the set for mel's pj's since the mobile version is being a bitch and won't let me paste it in my story.
Title credit goes to Don't Fall Asleep At The Helm by Sleeping With Sirens
The dubtsep remix is actually really great so if you're interested in hearing it, here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PMQBJz1fLm8
So hi everyone! Just a filler chapter while ashley's away for a bit. Although I did work pretty hard on this one for a filler, decided to drop a little drama bomb on you guys. I love you guys so much and I hope it's not too bad.
Boob squeeze!♥

-MellyJelly