Limbo

ASHLEY:

I close Melissa's car door after she's seated herself and fastened her belt, and she smiles up at me as I stand by the car. "I had such a great time today, Ash! The festival was a blast, and you guys sounded amazing," Then her smile becomes a bit more suggestive, and her tongue darts out to lick her lips. "But I think my favorite part was before we left. If I didn't have to work early tomorrow, I'd definitely be up for an instant replay."

"Well, how about if I catch up with you tomorrow? That way, you'll have a chance to look over your schedule, and we can figure out the best time to get together."

"Sounds good to me, hon. I'll be looking forward to it." She starts up the car and drives off, and I stand here in the driveway trying to get my nerve up to go inside, because I know I'm not going to enjoy what's coming. Everyone has been giving me weird looks all day, since I informed them that Melissa would be going with us, and I've made sure that I was always near either her, a crew member, or some of the other musicians until now. I knew that no one would mention Rachel with someone else around, but I guess I can't avoid it any longer.

I take a deep breath and start walking to the porch, trying to steel myself for both the third degree I know I'm about to get from the guys, and the crap I'll most likely have to listen to later, up in my room. I didn't tell Melissa this, but I seriously thought about inviting her to stay over tonight, then thought better of it. Not only would Susan probably have exiled us both to the porch, but I realized that I couldn't risk having Rachel make herself known while she was there, since we did promise Bob that we wouldn't do anything to cause problems for his friends.

I go inside, and they've apparently been waiting for me, because everyone is gathered in the living room, just staring toward the door. I close it behind me, and don't even get the chance to open my mouth before CC bursts out with, "What the fuck was that about today, Ash? As far as the rest of us knew, we were planning to take Rachel to the festival, and let her get out for a bit. Then, BOOM, you decide to change the plan and bring your current Barbie doll instead, without bothering to mention it to anyone. So would you like to enlighten us on why you decided to make a unilateral decision for all of us, without even putting it up for a vote?"

"Yeah, inquiring minds want to know," Andy chimes in, leaning against the dining-room archway, arms crossed, giving me a flat, level stare. "I mean, really, Ash? You get a bug up your ass when you think I'm trying to push things on you guys, but yet it's perfectly okay for you to go around making decisions for the rest of us without even... Oh, I dunno, a sticky note, or a fuckin' text, or something?"

None of the others are saying anything, they're just staring at me, like they're waiting for me to do a trick or something, and my frustration just boils over. "Oh, I don't know, maybe I just felt like being an asshole. Is that what you want to hear? That I just decided that I felt like fucking with everybody, like being a complete prick just so I could ruin everyone's day? Okay, if that's what you want to think, then go right the fuck ahead!"

"Ash, nobody said that," Jake calmly replies. "But we would like to know what happened. You've been avoiding us all day, except when we were onstage, and everybody could see it. Hell, some of the other bands even commented on it, so there must be a reason. We'd just like to know what it is, I think we deserve at least that much."

I take a couple of deep breaths, to try to calm myself down, and admit to myself that he's right. They need to know what's going on, so they can be on their guard, and things can't go any further. "Yeah, okay, I should have talked to you guys, and I'm sorry, but I didn't really have the opportunity to say anything before we had to leave. The reason I changed the plan is because I found out earlier today that Jimmy was right about what's happening here. She does have an agenda, and I have no intention of being part of it."

They all seem to be completely startled by what I've told them, but they listen quietly as I fill them in on everything that's happened with Rachel. Except the sexual stuff, of course, they'd probably have me institutionalized if I admitted to something like that.

When I finish, they're all just still looking at me, not saying a word, and I turn to Jinxx, who is the only one of the guys who hasn't said anything yet. "This is more your sort of thing than anyone else's, so what do you think, dude?"

He's completely silent for a few seconds, like he's trying to put together his thoughts, but when he finally speaks, I don't expect what I hear. "What I'm thinking right now is that I can't even begin to understand how I've actually managed not to realize over the last few years that you're not half as intelligent as I've given you credit for. To be blunt, Ash, that may be the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard come out of your mouth since I've known you!"

I stand here gaping at him in total shock, which doesn't get any better when I realize that no one seems to be interested in contradicting his statement, and the only thing I can force out of my mouth is, "Huh?"

"Jimmy is a fucking hack, anybody who's ever done even the slightest bit of research on the subject could figure that out. Ghost hunter my left ball, that nitwit probably wouldn't know an thermal imaging camera from a thermometer! I'd be just about willing to put money on the fact that he's just trying to jump on the bandwagon and get himself a book deal or a reality show, so he'll say anything he thinks might get him in here to 'witness' some sort of spectacular phenomenon, which he'd most likely engineer himself, just to get noticed."

"Well, why the hell didn't you say something before, if you're that sure he's a fake?"

Giving me a look which basically says that I shouldn't be allowed out in public without supervision, and speaking in a voice that most people reserve for the catastrophically drunk, he says, "Because I made the idiotic mistake of assuming that the rest of you were capable of figuring it out for yourselves, since it was so bloody damn obvious!"

CC rolls his eyes at me and huffs, "Seriously, dude, if you actually paid attention to anything that was said in the cafe, instead of spending your time mentally calculating Melissa's bra size, you'd know that just about everybody there thinks he's a fuckin' scam artist!"

"Okay, maybe he is, but too much of what he said has actually started to happen," I sigh. "And I'm sorry if it makes me sound like a bad person, but I'm not willing to take the risk that he might actually be right."

"What about helping to find out where her body is?" Jake inquires. "There hasn't been much effort put into that lately, but you did make a promise, man. Are you really going to go back on your word?"

"Didn't any of you hear what I just said? I'm not taking any chances anymore!" I yell.

"Well, if you insist on thinking that way, that's exactly what you are doing."

Pivoting back to look at Jinxx, I ask, "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Well, if I understand what you're saying, you're afraid that she want's to figure out a way to keep you here with you, right? Okay, if we accept that the unlikely chance exists that you're right, finding her body so she can go on might be the only way to get you out of the situation."

"Plus, if you're wrong, and we don't do anything, we've gone back on your promise for no reason at all. That would kind of make us all assholes, don'tcha think?" Andy adds.

Realizing that I'm not going to make them believe me, I throw up my hands and say, "Okay, fine, if you all want to keep looking, be my guest, but I don't feel comfortable being part of it. So if one of you wants to take charge of the damned necklace, then by all means, feel free."

Jinxx heads upstairs to get it, but after a minute or two, he calls down from the top of the stairs, "Where did you put it, dude?"

"I left it on the bathroom sink!"

We hear him walk back through my room, and then; "Okay, what's my second choice?"

I jog up the stairs, with everyone else following along, and we find Jinxx wandering around the room, poking through the stuff on top of the dresser and the nightstand. "It's nowhere in sight, dude, you must have put it somewhere else and just forgot."

"No, I very distinctly remember leaving it on the sink, because I was talking to her in there just before we left."

We all crowd into the bathroom, but there's no sign of the medallion, and Charlie observes, "There's no way it could have fallen down the drain, even if you'd actually left it in the damn sink. With the screens I put on, none of the openings are bigger than a pencil eraser. Are you sure that's where you left it?"

I tell them again that yes, I'm certain I left it there, and this motivates everyone to split up and start searching the house, going through all of the bedrooms before moving back downstairs to rummage through the public areas. When we finally stop, and haven't found any sign of it, Susan goes to the middle of the room and calls, "Rachel, please come out. We all understand if you don't want to talk to Ashley right now, and you don't have to. But you can still talk to the rest of us, we still want to help you. I'll go to my suite, if you like, and you can come see me there, okay?"

She goes to their quarters and closes the door, while we wait in the living room, coming back to join us about ten minutes later, shaking her head. "Nothing," she informs us. "I didn't see her, or hear her, and nothing so much as twitched. She's not here."

When she says this, I realize that she's right. I hadn't given it any thought earlier, but I can see her even without the medallion, even if they can't, and there's been no sign of her since I stepped through the door.

Then Bob suddenly frowns, and asks Charlie, "The door was still locked when you two got back, wasn't it? Since they haven't gotten your cameras installed yet, someone might still think they can break in, since it was totally fucking obvious that no one was here."

"Yeah, the door was locked, but that might not mean much if they have someone in their group who knows how to bypass the system."

The rest of us just blink at each other as we consider the possibility that someone may have come in and stolen it, taking Rachel with them, and even knowing what I do, I never wanted that to happen. Nobody alive or dead, deserves to be subjected to people like that.

Almost faster than I can blink, Susan is in front of me, stabbing her finger into my chest. "You knew those maniacs wanted something from this house," she snarls at me. "And now I guess we know what they were looking for. They almost killed you the last time they came here, and yet you leave the necklace lying out in the open where anybody could find it! How could you be so completely, unforgivably stupid?"

This hits me like a slap in the face, and I have difficulty getting my mouth to synch with my brain as I manage to stammer, "Uh, I... I'm sorry, I didn't think..."

"You hardly have to tell any of us that!" she snaps back. "You heard what they had in mind for that girl, why her freak of a father made her wear that... thing! So who's to say that if they are the ones who took it, that they might not take it into their heads to try it with some other poor girl? Can you live with that on your conscience, Ashley? Or what if they decide to try and finish what they started with you, or come after one of your friends here? How will you feel then?"

Charlie comes and pulls her away from me, saying, "Okay, that's enough, sweetie, I'm sure he gets the point. Let's get you somewhere that you can relax, and I'll bring you some soup in a little bit."

He starts leading her toward their room, and I hear her say, sounding like she's almost ready to cry, "Well, I'm glad you are, because I definitely have my doubts."

Thinking about the things she said, I feel my stomach roll over, and ask the guys, almost pleading for the answer I want, "You don't think they'd really do something like that, do you?"

They glance around at each other, but won't look at me, and their silence is all the answer I need. "Oh, shit!" I groan. "I really fucked up this time, didn't I?"

After a couple of seconds, Bob says, "Well, we don't actually know that, Ash. There's no way to know for sure that they're the ones who have it."

I sit down on the couch and drop my face into my hands. "Yeah, we do. That's the only thing missing, if regular burglars had been in here, our electronics and stuff would be gone. Rachel's dad has the damn thing back, which means he can act out his sick delusions on some other innocent person, and it's all on me. Fuck, you guys must hate my guts right now."

Andy puts a hand on my shoulder and says, "No, we don't hate you, man. I think it's pretty obvious that we don't agree with you, but we don't hate you."

Jake nods, and adds, "No, we don't. But to be completely honest, I have to tell you that I, for one, really, really wish you'd work a bit harder on not jumping to conclusions and going off half-cocked. It'd make things a lot easier on all of us, you included."

At this point, we all decide to go clean up and go to bed, since we still have to go to the studio tomorrow, but I don't have a lot of hope for sleep tonight. I pull off my clothes and go to the shower, but even though the spray feels great after all of the activity today, I can't bring myself to hang out and enjoy it. Since it's a pretty sure thing that someone came in here while we were gone, I can't be comfortable for too long without my clothes, it makes me feel too vulnerable.

And, being totally honest with myself, it also feels too empty. Until this morning, this was probably my favorite place in the house, but now it's just quiet and... lonely, and I don't want to be here any longer than I absolutely have to.

I dry off and throw on some pajama pants before I crawl into bed, and I'm not sure how long I lay here before I finally drift off to sleep. But unfortunately, I was right about my chances of resting, because I suddenly find myself sitting straight up in bed, and when I look at the clock, I see that it says 3:08. I force myself to lie back down, but the thought that has worked its way into my head won't allow me to close my eyes again.

What if Jinxx was right?

What if Jimmy really is nothing but a fraud, and I, as Jake put it, went off half-cocked over nothing? What if I made her words and actions mean something that they didn't? But I couldn't have misjudged her that badly, and fucked everything up by jumping to a stupid conclusion.

Could I?

Notes