Limbo

ASHLEY:

We actually have a day off from the studio today, and everyone else is sleeping in, while I'm taking a bit of a hike on the property behind the house with Rachel. Since she has people to talk to now, she's a bit more comfortable in the house, but she just lights up when she can get outside, with no walls around her. So I decided take her out for a little bit before it starts getting too hot, and she's guiding me to what she says used to be her favorite place to play when she was a kid.

We walk through a small stand of trees on the back of the property, and I can't help but smile, because she's so excited that she's almost dancing through the grass. As we go down a small hill, I notice something catching the sunlight, and realize that we're heading toward a small pond or lake. As we get to the edge of the water, she holds her arms out at her sides and spins in circles in the grass, laughing. "I never expected to see this place again!" she informs me. "I think that other than spending time with the kids, this was probably the only thing I missed when I left. For some reason nobody else ever really came out here, so this was where I went when I wanted to be by myself."

"Yeah, it's nice here," I say. "It reminds me a little bit of where I lived when I was a kid. I remember spending most of the day outside playing with my cousins, and driving my grandma nuts when I'd come home soaking wet and filthy from slogging around in the pond looking for tadpoles, or getting into mudfights."

"I didn't know you lived in the country! Where are you from?"

"I grew up around a tiny little town called Berger, Missouri, which isn't very far from St. Louis," I explain. "My grandparents have a farm there, so I grew up riding horses, playing in the woods, swimming, and all that kind of stuff. I guess that's why I still enjoy doing things outdoors now. I actually have a horse that I board at a riding center outside of LA, and I go out there and ride him every chance I get."

"I never got the chance to ride a horse," she says. "But whenever I saw it on TV or a movie, I always thought it looked like fun. I did like to swim, though. But not here, there's too much chance of running across a snake or a snapping turtle, and you don't wanna do that."

"No, I definitely wouldn't. One of the big snappers can take off a finger or something."

She leads me partway around the pond to a big flat-topped rock, telling me that I can sit there without having to worry about ticks or snakes, like I would if I sat on the grass. So I climb up and make myself as comfortable as I can, while she perches herself a bit further down the side, and starts pointing things out to me, telling stories about things she did here when she was still alive.

I hate to admit it, even to myself, but for the first couple of minutes I have a bit of trouble concentrating on what she's saying, because I'm a bit distracted by the fact that I have a very clear view down the front of her tank top. But I force myself to stop looking, and wind up involved in a long, serious conversation with her, sharing stories about our respective childhoods. I even talk with her about what little I can actually remember about my parents, which I rarely do. In fact, when I think about it, other than the rest of my family, and the guys, she's maybe the third person I've actually discussed the details with.

But the thing that bothers me a bit is the fact that the more I learn about her, the more I actually like her. She's very open about the things she dealt with growing up, but doesn't expect anyone to feel sorry for her, and she's also an excellent listener, who focuses on whoever is speaking to her, and can make them feel like they're the only person in the room. This isn't something that I get to experience very often, and I've figured out that I really enjoy it.

So basically my problem is that I've met what could be the perfect girl, whose sole obvious drawback is that she is, unfortunately, dead. This kind of makes it seem like the universe is taunting me, but I've decided that I'm just going to enjoy her company while I can, until we can figure out how to help her move on, or until we have to go back home, whichever comes first.

She draws my attention to a mama duck and some ducklings out on the water, and as we climb off of the rock to go have a closer look, my phone buzzes, so I check my texts and see a message from CC, which reads:

"Dude, where you at?! Susan said to tell you that breakfast will be ready in ten, so if you wanna eat, you'd better haul ass.!"

Her smile dims, and she asks, "We need to go back, don't we?" before I can even tell her who it was.

"Yeah, that was CC, he said that Susan has breakfast almost ready, so we probably should. But don't worry, hon, as soon as I can make time, I'll bring you out again."

"Thanks, Ash, that gives me something to look forward to, at least," she responds, and starts heading back the way we came. I walk along beside her for a minute, and then I'm a bit startled to feel something along my arm. I look down, and see that it's her fingers trailing very lightly along the underside of my wrist as she reaches for my hand. I relax my fingers, not expecting the idea to work, but she's actually able to hold my hand as long as I don't try to put too much pressure on hers, and just barely grasp hers.

It's kind of a weird feeling, sort of like the air resistance you'd get from one of the hand-dryers they have in public restrooms, but much cooler. But it's definitely not unpleasant, and since she seems to enjoy being able to actually have some sort of physical contact, I don't think I'd try very hard to let go, even if it was.

We get back to the house and join everyone else in the dining room for breakfast, then afterwards, Andy and Jinxx decide to go Skype with Juliet and Alice, while CC announces that he's in the mood to play one of the board games that Charlie has stored in a bookcase in the living room. Rachel instantly agrees with him, so Jake and I wind up playing Life with them for awhile, and then I go upstairs to have a shower when we finish.

We all hang out in our rooms, just doing our own individual things, until about noon, when Jake suggests that we go down to the cafe for lunch. It's too warm to walk down there right now, so we pile into a couple of the cars and drive down. We walk in and grab a table, and the same hostess that we talked to the last time sort of sways up to the table with an armful of menus, saying, "Hi there, guys! If you'll tell me what you'd like to drink, I'll go get that taken care of while you have a look at the menu."

"Sounds good. Thanks, Melissa," I reply. We all make our drink orders, and she actually gives me a wink as she walks away toward the counter.

"Ooh, she's definitely flirting with you, dude!" CC proclaims. "Looks like you may have finally found your shot at getting lucky around here!"

"Oh yeah, I'm totally gonna start bringing random chicks back to the B and B. I get the feeling that would probably fly like a cast-iron kite."

Bob sort of chuckles, and says, "Knowing Sue, I get the feeling you're right."

"Well, the girl has to live around here somewhere," Andy chimes in. "Maybe you could visit her place sometime."

She starts heading back with the drinks, and I watch her as she approaches. She's not as stunning as Rachel, but with platinum hair just past her shoulders, pale-green eyes, and a curvy figure, she is quite attractive. She's actually the type I generally wind up taking back to the bus or the hotel room when we're on the road, so the idea definitely has some appeal, if she's actually interested.

She brings our drinks, and takes our orders, and we all just sort of shoot the shit until the food comes out, and then Bob waves her over and asks her to bring our checks. She quickly complies, takes our cards back to the register to run them, then brings back the cards and our receipts. When she hands me mine, I feel the tips of her fingers lightly graze my palm, and when I look up, she mouths, "Check your slip."

I turn the receipt over, and see the words "Call me next time you're free," with a phone number underneath. I look her over one more time, then give her a smile and put the paper in my wallet, and she winks again before she walks away.

But as we're in the car, heading back to Charlie and Susan's, I start thinking about Rachel again. She's an intelligent, thoughtful girl, and so gorgeous that I can't get her out of my mind, but sadly, she's also a ghost, which means that no matter how much I like her, there's not really any hope for a lasting relationship. Melissa, on the other hand, is very much alive, and even though I don't really know much about her yet, there's at least a possibility here.

Dammit, now I have to choose between two almost equally intriguing possibilities, and I can't even begin to decide right now which way to go. It looks like my life has officially become complicated.

Notes