I can't feel anything anymore.

" you ready?" Jake asked raising his hand up to nock on the brown wooden door.

I let out a shaky breath stepping back and shaking my head.

" no, can we go home? I can't do this"

He laughed before nocking loudly making my heart pound.

" come on it'll be fine" he said softly and I shook my head feeling my heart pound against my chest.

I couldn't believe I was finally Doing this. It was silent until I heard footsteps coming towards the door making the anxiety bubble in my chest more.

Jake leaned over and rubbed my arm just as the door swung open revealing My mother.

My breath caught in my throat as she looked at jake a small smile forming on her red lips.

" jake, what a surprise" she said slowly leaning in to give him a hug when her eyes connected with mine.

She released the hug and stared at me, she didn't look much different , her hair was even colored different but that was all.

" Jessica" she spoke and I swallowed hard nodding.

She smiled softly and leaned in grabbing me in a hug. She didn't say anything only squeezed me , her warm scent almost comforting me but was gone too soon as she pulled away.

" you two want to come in?"

Jake nodded and she walked in letting us into my old childhood home.my chest immediately tightened at the familiar feeling of being in here.

Jake looked at me and smiled squeezing my hand as we followed my mother down the red hall.

Pictures of me hanging on the wall caught my eye, she Had the cover from last falls AP magazine that I was issued in framed.

I smiled , maybe they did care. We walked into the tan living room where my dad sat in his green recliner looking at the TV ,controller in hand.

" hon who was at the door?" He asked Placing the remote down and turning towards the door.

He looked at me and jake and froze. My nerves kicked in again as the seconds lasted forever until his blank face grew a small smile.

" well well the little rockstars finally came back?" He asked standing and I smiled wide as he walked over to me and wrapped his arms around me.

My dad was more for me being who I was, he sill didn't like it but he let jake do it so I knew he was more for it then my mother.

" I'm so proud of you" he said softly and I smiled as he let go grabbing jake in a hug.

" you too!" He exclaimed and jake laughed

" thanks dad"

He laughed and patted his back before joining my mother on the couch signaling for us to sit on the opposite one.

We sat down in the green fabric couched and I rubbed my hands together as jake lazily through his arm around me.

" so what brings you guys here?" My mom asked looking from me to him.

" we have a few days off here so we figured we'd stop by and you know, talk and try to fix what was broken years ago" jake said and it grew silent.

Nice jake , straight to the point,

My mom looked at us and sighed

" okay so talk" she said an jake looked at me obviously confused on what to say now .

"We'll.. Um"

" you want me to talk first?" She asked and he nodded slowly.

" where do I start? Well first what the hell were you thinking taking your sister without our permission?" She all but snapped and he gulped.

I could already see where this was going.

" well, technically she was 18 so it wasn't up to you" he said quietly obviously a little scared.

" it was most certainty up to us! She's our daughter and you basically kidnapped her "

He laughed and I noticed my dad staying silent looking at me with eyes filled with simphathy, I could tell he was on our side but he knew better than to go against my mother.

" it wasn't kidnapping!You act like I came in the middle of the night and threw a bag over her fucking head"

" wasn't it though? You just waltzed in and took her to LA with your friends not even asking me"

" you left her alone On her fucking birthday! What was I suppose to do!? She called me every night telling me how all you did was yell at her and you expected me to leave her like that?!"

" it wasn't your decision, it was hers and I bet if you actually asked she would've stayed"

" I wanted to go " I muttered and she turned to me

"what?"

" I went willingly, you knew it was what I wanted"

She remained quiet and sighed

" Beautiful, so you quit school , moved out to LA with your brother and rockstar boyfriend and left everything you needed for a good future just to play rockstar?!"

" I went to school down there."

" yeah but did you graduate?" She asked and I remained silent

"that's right you were too busy running around on stage with a bunch of boys"

I felt pain erupt in my chest as the words were spat at me. I knew she wasn't proud enough to see it wasn't a game.

" if you can't tell , I'm not fucking playing anymore! You have a issue of a magazine I was on for Christ sake! I just played a sold out show two nights ago and you still don't believe it's real?!" I yelled and she laughed a little

" of course it's not real, it won't last honey, you have to understand you know I'm proud but it's only a permanent life, you need education, you need a back up plan" she said a little smoother but I shook my head fed up, I knew she didn't change.

" I don't want a fucking back up plan, you know I have no back up plan this Is me, I bet you're not even proud, you probably only say it to have bragging rights!" I shouted and she remained quiet and I felt jake rub my shoulder as she remained silen

t " you know I'm proud it's just embarrassing, all my friends kids are nurses, and you're still in your emo rockstar fase"

" it's not a faise!" I yelled

"it's not a fucking lifestyle either, ill tell you that!" She snapped back and I sighed

I looked at her, she was making no sense and I didn't want to stick around until she did.

I looked to jake and shook my head

" I tried , I'm sorry I'm done I'm so done" I muttered before standing up.

My mom looked at me before standing up

" what do you think you're doing?"

" leaving, if you're not going even try to understand why I left or any of it then I'm not staying, i thought maybe after all these years you'd actually be proud and want to talk it out but I guess not " I snapped before walking to the exit

" when are you going to learn that running from things isn't going to help?" She shouted but I only walked faster to the front door flinging it open as a few tears fell down my face.

I walked down the driveway and I heard the door slam and footsteps race after me.

" Jess" jake pleaded gripping my arm I shook my head as we got to the car and looked at jake who sighed an unlocked the car moving to the drivers side.

I pulled open the passenger door and slid in it as jake got in also turning the key.

" Jess?"

I didn't say anything only look forward as I felt tears fall down my face.

He remained silent as he put the car in gear and backed out of the driveway leaving my last shred of hope with the blue house.

We drove back to the house spending the whole 3 minutes in silence until He finally pulled in the driveway and cut the engine off.

I kept starring forward until I felt his hand on my face wiping away the tears

" it's okay sweety" he said quietly I sighed looking over into his brown eyes.

"No it's not, 2 fucking years and she didn't even let me explain myself" I snapped at him and he shook his head

" I know, but maybe after you both cool down you can tr-"

" no I'm not doing that again I don't need her I don't need anybody" I snapped pushing open the door.

I slammed mine just as he slammed his

" come on Jess you don't mean that" he said as he followed me up the lawn and to the front door.

I went to open it but it was locked so I moved to the side silently letting jake stick the key in.

I don't understand why they locked it if everyone was home

Jake pushed open the door and walked in leaving me on the steps. I wiped my face before walking in after him hearing voices come from the living room.

" hey how'd it go?" I slammed the door and kicked my shoes off hearing a small chuckle as I walked towards the living room.

" I'm guessing not so good?" Andy asked as I walked in.

everyone's eyes turned to me as I flipped him off.

" fuck off" I snapped walking to the stairs.

Just as I climbed the first one I felt hand wrap around my waist and pick me up walking back to the couches

" come on at least tell us what happened" cc's soft voice said against me neck and I groaned as he let go of me in the middle of the room.

I looked at them all and shook my head going to walk to the stairs again but this time jinxx stepped in my way. " move" I demanded and he shook his head

" no, just talk to us"

I looked up at him and shook my head

" just fuck off"

"Not now" he said wearing a cheesy grin

I groaned before wiping around to face them all

" fine you really want to know? They still don't fucking care about me or anything I do ,happy? They still don't like who I am! Is that what you wanted to hear?!"I snapped making them grow silent and stare at me as jake sighed sadly playing with Ella's hair.

" Jess.." Juliet said but I shook my head walking to the stairs this time no one bothered to grab me as I climbed the stairs silently letting tears fall down my face.

I walked up the stairs and opened my bedroom door just in time for my legs to give out as I slid down the wall.

I buried my head in my knees as the tears fell faster down my warm face.

What was wrong with me? I'm 20 and I'm still fucking crying every time I scrape my knee, they don't mean anything, i don't care what they think. But I really do, but I can't! I don't need them. I don't need anybody, and nobody needs me.

" I need you"

My head snapped up and I saw cc standing in the doorway, of course I said that out loud.

I shook my head and rested it down again making him sigh and close the door walking softly to where I was propped against the wall.

He leaned down in front of me and lifted up my head

"hey, jake told us everything, I'm sorry"

I remained silent starring into his brown eyes making him sigh again.

" I know it hurts but it'll be okay, you tried, and if you want to try again-"

I cut him off be shaking my head making him laugh and kiss my forehead

" then you don't have to, but remember I need you , we all do, we can start our own family, we can Be everything you need, ill do anything for you " he said and I smiled a little shifting off the wall and against his chest.

I felt his arms tighten around me as he stood up keeping me in his arms before he dropped me on the bed and laid next to me.

I smiled moving closely to him and closing my eyes into his chest as he rubbed circles into my back.

" seriously though, you have us, you have me, that's all you need" I smiled

" I know."

" I know you know" he said making me laugh and open my eyes leaning in for a kiss.

Our lips connected and I instantly felt all the pressure start to fly away.

I went to pull away but he put his hand on my cheek making me stay against his lips.

" no , lets make our own family" he wined placing his hand on my stomach and I laughed shaking my head

" no , I don't want a mini cc just yet"

He smirked and rolled on top of me smirking down at me

" I'll use protection then, that's fine"

He leaned down catching my lips in another kiss making me smile as I wrapped my hands around his neck.

Maybe He was right, all I really need I already have.

Notes

Hey of you guys could leave comments it would help so I know if you guys like how it's headed..!:)