I can't feel anything anymore.
This is it.
I was in the middle of signing when I had the need to puke again. Fuck.
" you okay?" Cc asked and I shook my head quickly getting up and running out again.
I got to the bathroom just in time to get sick. I sighed standing up just as I heard the bus door shut.
"Jess?" I heard mel call out into the bus. I sighed in relief that it was just her and shut the door exiting the bathroom.
"Oh Jessy. Are you okay?" She asked going up to me and wiping the tears from my face I didn't know where though.
"I-I don't know" I stuttered. She took my hand and led me to the couch sitting us down.
"Jess, you know you can talk to me. I want to be there for you like you are for me" I sighed and nodded.
"Okay, just please don't tell anyone, not even Ashley" I couldn't tell them yet.
She nodded rubbing my shoulder.
"Well, I don't know what's wrong with me. Lately I've been getting sick and I've been sleeping a lot and I've even noticed that I've been gaining weight.." I trailed off and her eyes widened.
"Jess, have you had your-"
"No, I missed it" i said worriedly.
" shit" she cursed under her breath
"Mel, I think I might be pr-pregnant.." I stuttered trailing off.
" holy shit.." She said
I started to shake and cry even more.
"What am I gonna do Melissa? I'm so scared.. I don't want to tell the guys, not yet anyways at least until I find out for sure if I am. And god only knows how cc's going to react if I really am. I just, I don't know what to do.." I trailed off starting to sob as i put my head in my hands. What would cc say? What would any of them say? I'm 20 For Christ sakes I can't even take care of my self let alone a child.
She sighed sadly and wrapped her arms around me hugging me tightly.
"Jess, please do your best to stay calm, okay? The stress isn't good for you. Look, you're going to get through, okay? I'm going to help you, don't worry, you won't be alone on this. We'll figure something out, I promise" she said as I took in a deep breath.
"Just breathe Jess, everything will be fine" I took another a deep breath and exhaled slowly. I pulled back and wiped my tears nodding.
"Okay, I really hope so. Thank you Mel, I really appreciate it" I said. I couldn't help but feel like we were going to be very close friends.
"Anything for you Jess. Listen, how about tomorrow morning while we're at a stop, I run to the store and get you a test and whatever else you need?" She asked with a small smile in which I returned.
"Okay, thank you so much! I'll give you the money for it" I said hugging her and She hugged me back. just as I heard the door open. Jake and Ashley walked on.
" Jess are you okay?" Jake asked coming to me and I chuckled slightly.
" yeah I'm fine just feeling sick that's all" I said and he looked at me wearily.
" ok.. Well were heading off soon, why don't you stay on our bus " he said and I nodded standing up.
" I'm going to stay on this bus again" Ashley said and I saw Melissa smile at him. They're fucking adorable.
"Okay, sounds good lets go Jess" jake said . I went to Ashley and gave him a hug.
" have a fun night purdy boy" I whispered and he smacked my shoulder smirking.
Melissa hugged me next
" thank you" I whispered and pulled apart she smiled at me and I left the bus behind jake. We got into the cool air and I smiled following him to his bus. We got on and saw cc, Andy and jinxx sitting on the couch.
Cc jumped up.
" you okay?" He asked rubbing my shoulders. I nodded and pecked his lips.
" I'm fine just didn't feel good" I said and he smiled.
" you staying with us?" Andy asked and I nodded.
" yes! lets watch movies!" He said jumping up.
" sounds good" jake said
" what movie?" Cc asked
" she's the man!" I shouted and they laughed.
" your too obsessed with that, that one and mean girls. I think you've seen them too many times" jinxx said and I flipped him off.
" please?" I begged
" fine.." Andy said and I smiled. They got up.
" I'm going to change and get the movie ready" Andy said and jake followed behind him.
" I'll get you some shorts and a shirt" cc said kissing my head and following behind them leaving me and jinxx. He stood up and walked next to me.
" so you sure your okay?" He asked and I sighed nodding. I wanted to tell him. But I didn't know if I should.
" no your not. I can tell" he said studying my face.
" show me your wrists" he said holding his hand out.
" jinxx I didn't" I said but he held his hand out. I sighed and gave him my hand. He lifted the bracelets as brushed over it with nothing. He took the other one and found nothing.
He lifted my shirt a little and found no new ones. He sighed then looked at me.
" have you gained a little weight?" He asked and I stiffened.shit fucking radar.
" yeah.."
" wait.. Your gaining weight. Getting sick, shit Jess are yo-"
I put my hand over his mouth. I looked behind me to make sure nobody else was here. They were still getting dressed.
" I don't know but I'm gonna take a test tomorrow ,in the mean time you tell anybody,..and I swear to god I will kill you, only the girls and Mel know. Please.. I'm scared shitless" I begged and he smiled lightly kissing my forehead.
" I won't but don't worry Jess, don't be scared if you are ,you have us, And cc . you know he'll support you" he said and I sighed giving him a hug just as cc came out smiling. He chucked a shirt and shorts at my head.
" get dressed the guys have the movie set up" he said. I smiled and ran into the bathroom.
I changed into the black Nike sport shorts and motley crew shirt. I washed my face and walked out throwing my cloths in the empty bunk and walking into the back lounge. Andy and jake were on one couch while cc and jinxx were on the other.
" press play" jake said and I nodded pressing play and turning the lights off before I went to the couch and sat between cc and jinxx. I laid head on cc's lap and put my feet on jinxx's. cc rubbed my back while jinxx rested his hands on my feet.
I smiled just as the movie came on. Everything was going to be okay. It had to be. I had my family.
----
I woke up feeling sick again.I was still Laing across jinxx and cc who were sleeping just like jake and Andy I got up trying not to wake them but I heard jinxx stir as I dashed to the bathroom just in time to get sick.
I came out and checked my phone seeing i had a notification.I opened it and saw I had a direct message from Mel on twitter.
-Hey, I'm outside of the bus. I didn't want to knock and risk waking any of the guys up. xx
I went to the bunk area and took Andy's hoody from his bunk , money from mine and walked quickly out to meet Mel.
I walked out she looked at me. I probably looked like shit
"Uh oh, did you throw up already?She worriedly and I nodded.
"I'm sorry Jessy" she hugging me.
" It's okay, I just really need to take that test" I said and She nodded. I handed her about 40 bucks and she looked at me like I had 4 heads.
"It's also for any good junk food and candy you can find and get me" I said and She gave me an understanding look and mouthed 'ohh' giving me a thumbs up.
"Got it, okay then I'll go run and get you what you want"
I nodded and turned to go back on when I heard her stop.
" Oh wait, do you want me to get you a box that has 1, 2, or 3 tests?"
I thought for a minute.
"Two, just to be sure since the first once are usually wrong" I said and she nodded before running off. I laughed silently and walked on the bus seeing jinxx sitting there.
" did I wake you up?" I asked and he nodded.
" yeah it's okay though, where were you just now though?" He asked
" giving Mel money, she's getting the test" I said and he nodded as I sighed rubbing my face.
" come here" he said holding out his arms. I walked over and sat next to him leaning against his chest.
" it's all going to be okay" he said and I nodded burying my head in his chest.
" this brings back memories when you were 17 and use to get bullied" he said and I chuckled slightly sitting up.
" yeah"
" but hey look at you now huh? You did it" he said and I smiled.
" remember when I had a brake down after the beach after I moved in with jake and you made me say those 3 words?" I said and he nodded
" indeed I do" he said
" I actually never believed I would make it" I said and he smiled kissing my forehead
" I did, I always did ever since I met you I knew you would go far"
" yeah well I deffinatly did get through a lot" I said and he nodded.
" you did but you always had us there and you always will" he said
I smiled at him and relaxed into his chest waiting for Mel to come back.
I got a message 10 minutes later telling me she was outside. I told her to come in and a few seconds later she came on with a bag. Jinxx smiled and waved at her as she walked on.
"The woman at the pharmacy recommended those nausea tablets to help with your tummy. I got you different candy because I didn't know which one you liked most, along with chips and a sprite to help your stomach" she said smiling.
"You got the tests too right?" I asked and her eyes to widened as she took a quick glance at Jinxx. Oh right she didn't know he knew.
"He already knows, don't worry" I said causing her to sigh in relief and nod. I chuckled softly as did jinxx.
"Then in that case, yes I did. They're at the bottom of the bag" she said and I nodded just as she took out her phone. She smiled widely and I chuckled. Ashley.
"Was that Ashley?" I asked and she blushed nodding. Knew it.
"Okay well, I'm gonna go ahead and go back to the burn bright bus. Jessy, if you need me, I wrote down my number on the back of the receipt" she said hugging me.
"Thank you again Mel" I said
"And please look out for her for now Jinxxy" She said to him and he smiled nodding.
Like he needed to be told twice. He always was the most protective of me.
"Don't worry, I'll have her in my sight the whole time" he said giving her quick hug.
"Good, I'll be back over with Ashley later" she said as walked out.
I pulled out the box and sighed slumping on the couch face first.
I heard jinxx chuckle.
" Jess. Come on" he said poking me.
" no.."
" get up and go take the test before the others wake up" he said and I groaned and rolled off the couch onto the floor.
" fucking hell" I cursed and he laughed picking me.
" go , I'll be out here, call me when your done" he said and I nodded walking to the bathroom. I got in and opened the box.
This is it.
" you okay?" Cc asked and I shook my head quickly getting up and running out again.
I got to the bathroom just in time to get sick. I sighed standing up just as I heard the bus door shut.
"Jess?" I heard mel call out into the bus. I sighed in relief that it was just her and shut the door exiting the bathroom.
"Oh Jessy. Are you okay?" She asked going up to me and wiping the tears from my face I didn't know where though.
"I-I don't know" I stuttered. She took my hand and led me to the couch sitting us down.
"Jess, you know you can talk to me. I want to be there for you like you are for me" I sighed and nodded.
"Okay, just please don't tell anyone, not even Ashley" I couldn't tell them yet.
She nodded rubbing my shoulder.
"Well, I don't know what's wrong with me. Lately I've been getting sick and I've been sleeping a lot and I've even noticed that I've been gaining weight.." I trailed off and her eyes widened.
"Jess, have you had your-"
"No, I missed it" i said worriedly.
" shit" she cursed under her breath
"Mel, I think I might be pr-pregnant.." I stuttered trailing off.
" holy shit.." She said
I started to shake and cry even more.
"What am I gonna do Melissa? I'm so scared.. I don't want to tell the guys, not yet anyways at least until I find out for sure if I am. And god only knows how cc's going to react if I really am. I just, I don't know what to do.." I trailed off starting to sob as i put my head in my hands. What would cc say? What would any of them say? I'm 20 For Christ sakes I can't even take care of my self let alone a child.
She sighed sadly and wrapped her arms around me hugging me tightly.
"Jess, please do your best to stay calm, okay? The stress isn't good for you. Look, you're going to get through, okay? I'm going to help you, don't worry, you won't be alone on this. We'll figure something out, I promise" she said as I took in a deep breath.
"Just breathe Jess, everything will be fine" I took another a deep breath and exhaled slowly. I pulled back and wiped my tears nodding.
"Okay, I really hope so. Thank you Mel, I really appreciate it" I said. I couldn't help but feel like we were going to be very close friends.
"Anything for you Jess. Listen, how about tomorrow morning while we're at a stop, I run to the store and get you a test and whatever else you need?" She asked with a small smile in which I returned.
"Okay, thank you so much! I'll give you the money for it" I said hugging her and She hugged me back. just as I heard the door open. Jake and Ashley walked on.
" Jess are you okay?" Jake asked coming to me and I chuckled slightly.
" yeah I'm fine just feeling sick that's all" I said and he looked at me wearily.
" ok.. Well were heading off soon, why don't you stay on our bus " he said and I nodded standing up.
" I'm going to stay on this bus again" Ashley said and I saw Melissa smile at him. They're fucking adorable.
"Okay, sounds good lets go Jess" jake said . I went to Ashley and gave him a hug.
" have a fun night purdy boy" I whispered and he smacked my shoulder smirking.
Melissa hugged me next
" thank you" I whispered and pulled apart she smiled at me and I left the bus behind jake. We got into the cool air and I smiled following him to his bus. We got on and saw cc, Andy and jinxx sitting on the couch.
Cc jumped up.
" you okay?" He asked rubbing my shoulders. I nodded and pecked his lips.
" I'm fine just didn't feel good" I said and he smiled.
" you staying with us?" Andy asked and I nodded.
" yes! lets watch movies!" He said jumping up.
" sounds good" jake said
" what movie?" Cc asked
" she's the man!" I shouted and they laughed.
" your too obsessed with that, that one and mean girls. I think you've seen them too many times" jinxx said and I flipped him off.
" please?" I begged
" fine.." Andy said and I smiled. They got up.
" I'm going to change and get the movie ready" Andy said and jake followed behind him.
" I'll get you some shorts and a shirt" cc said kissing my head and following behind them leaving me and jinxx. He stood up and walked next to me.
" so you sure your okay?" He asked and I sighed nodding. I wanted to tell him. But I didn't know if I should.
" no your not. I can tell" he said studying my face.
" show me your wrists" he said holding his hand out.
" jinxx I didn't" I said but he held his hand out. I sighed and gave him my hand. He lifted the bracelets as brushed over it with nothing. He took the other one and found nothing.
He lifted my shirt a little and found no new ones. He sighed then looked at me.
" have you gained a little weight?" He asked and I stiffened.shit fucking radar.
" yeah.."
" wait.. Your gaining weight. Getting sick, shit Jess are yo-"
I put my hand over his mouth. I looked behind me to make sure nobody else was here. They were still getting dressed.
" I don't know but I'm gonna take a test tomorrow ,in the mean time you tell anybody,..and I swear to god I will kill you, only the girls and Mel know. Please.. I'm scared shitless" I begged and he smiled lightly kissing my forehead.
" I won't but don't worry Jess, don't be scared if you are ,you have us, And cc . you know he'll support you" he said and I sighed giving him a hug just as cc came out smiling. He chucked a shirt and shorts at my head.
" get dressed the guys have the movie set up" he said. I smiled and ran into the bathroom.
I changed into the black Nike sport shorts and motley crew shirt. I washed my face and walked out throwing my cloths in the empty bunk and walking into the back lounge. Andy and jake were on one couch while cc and jinxx were on the other.
" press play" jake said and I nodded pressing play and turning the lights off before I went to the couch and sat between cc and jinxx. I laid head on cc's lap and put my feet on jinxx's. cc rubbed my back while jinxx rested his hands on my feet.
I smiled just as the movie came on. Everything was going to be okay. It had to be. I had my family.
----
I woke up feeling sick again.I was still Laing across jinxx and cc who were sleeping just like jake and Andy I got up trying not to wake them but I heard jinxx stir as I dashed to the bathroom just in time to get sick.
I came out and checked my phone seeing i had a notification.I opened it and saw I had a direct message from Mel on twitter.
-Hey, I'm outside of the bus. I didn't want to knock and risk waking any of the guys up. xx
I went to the bunk area and took Andy's hoody from his bunk , money from mine and walked quickly out to meet Mel.
I walked out she looked at me. I probably looked like shit
"Uh oh, did you throw up already?She worriedly and I nodded.
"I'm sorry Jessy" she hugging me.
" It's okay, I just really need to take that test" I said and She nodded. I handed her about 40 bucks and she looked at me like I had 4 heads.
"It's also for any good junk food and candy you can find and get me" I said and She gave me an understanding look and mouthed 'ohh' giving me a thumbs up.
"Got it, okay then I'll go run and get you what you want"
I nodded and turned to go back on when I heard her stop.
" Oh wait, do you want me to get you a box that has 1, 2, or 3 tests?"
I thought for a minute.
"Two, just to be sure since the first once are usually wrong" I said and she nodded before running off. I laughed silently and walked on the bus seeing jinxx sitting there.
" did I wake you up?" I asked and he nodded.
" yeah it's okay though, where were you just now though?" He asked
" giving Mel money, she's getting the test" I said and he nodded as I sighed rubbing my face.
" come here" he said holding out his arms. I walked over and sat next to him leaning against his chest.
" it's all going to be okay" he said and I nodded burying my head in his chest.
" this brings back memories when you were 17 and use to get bullied" he said and I chuckled slightly sitting up.
" yeah"
" but hey look at you now huh? You did it" he said and I smiled.
" remember when I had a brake down after the beach after I moved in with jake and you made me say those 3 words?" I said and he nodded
" indeed I do" he said
" I actually never believed I would make it" I said and he smiled kissing my forehead
" I did, I always did ever since I met you I knew you would go far"
" yeah well I deffinatly did get through a lot" I said and he nodded.
" you did but you always had us there and you always will" he said
I smiled at him and relaxed into his chest waiting for Mel to come back.
I got a message 10 minutes later telling me she was outside. I told her to come in and a few seconds later she came on with a bag. Jinxx smiled and waved at her as she walked on.
"The woman at the pharmacy recommended those nausea tablets to help with your tummy. I got you different candy because I didn't know which one you liked most, along with chips and a sprite to help your stomach" she said smiling.
"You got the tests too right?" I asked and her eyes to widened as she took a quick glance at Jinxx. Oh right she didn't know he knew.
"He already knows, don't worry" I said causing her to sigh in relief and nod. I chuckled softly as did jinxx.
"Then in that case, yes I did. They're at the bottom of the bag" she said and I nodded just as she took out her phone. She smiled widely and I chuckled. Ashley.
"Was that Ashley?" I asked and she blushed nodding. Knew it.
"Okay well, I'm gonna go ahead and go back to the burn bright bus. Jessy, if you need me, I wrote down my number on the back of the receipt" she said hugging me.
"Thank you again Mel" I said
"And please look out for her for now Jinxxy" She said to him and he smiled nodding.
Like he needed to be told twice. He always was the most protective of me.
"Don't worry, I'll have her in my sight the whole time" he said giving her quick hug.
"Good, I'll be back over with Ashley later" she said as walked out.
I pulled out the box and sighed slumping on the couch face first.
I heard jinxx chuckle.
" Jess. Come on" he said poking me.
" no.."
" get up and go take the test before the others wake up" he said and I groaned and rolled off the couch onto the floor.
" fucking hell" I cursed and he laughed picking me.
" go , I'll be out here, call me when your done" he said and I nodded walking to the bathroom. I got in and opened the box.
This is it.
Notes
Ahoy mateys! Captain Mel here doing a late update for Jess real quick while she's sleeping like the sweet little gumdrop she is<3LOVE YOU MY AMAZING LITTLE COCOPUFF
-Melissa
Hey whens the update I'm in love with this story and you haven't updated in like 2 months plz plz plz update soon
5/14/14