No! No! No!

Lindsay wouldn't believe that Andy was dead. Though she'd lived for years telling herself that he'd left this world, deep in her heart, she'd always believed that he was alive somewhere and that someday she would see him again. Then, when she'd learned of the John Doe, when he'd been holding on to a St. Christopher's medal, she'd let her imagination run away from her and convinced herself that he was Andy.

"Oh, God," she whispered, tears threatening her eyes. He can't be dead! Cannot be dead!

"Hey, you all right?" the detective said. He sounded far away, his voice muted. "You're not going to faint on me, are you?"

"No--" Her own voice was displaced. She ran a hand over her forehead and steadied herself against the wall. Blackness threatened the edges of her vision.

"I could call a nurse."

"I'll be fine," she snapped, still reeling.

Williams studied her. "You gonna tell me what you know about him?"

"The man in the CCU?" She shook her head. "Nothing."

"Yet, when I tell you he died, you look as if you've seen a ghost. What is it?"

"I--uh, I just hoped he would make it. So he could talk to me, to you, to explain what happened," she said, her mind still filled with a kaleidoscope of images of Andy. It had been so many years, and yet she remembered him as clearly as if she'd been with him only yesterday.

"I think we should tell your husband."

Oh, God!

"He's not talking to us, you know. Hasn't so much as said a word, but I can tell he's listening. Maybe this will loosen his tongue."

"He's with his mother now..."

Impulsively, she touched the officer's arm. "Don't say anything until you talk to the doctor, please. I don't want Ashley to take a turn for the worst."

"It's not him I'm worried about--it's you."

"I'll be all right," she lied, blinking against tears. "It was just such a shock . . . if you'll excuse me."

Williams watched as she pulled herself together. It was amazing how quickly she could transform. A second ago he was certain she would fall in a heap, but she managed to square her shoulders, dash away any sign of tears and offer him a sad smile before she disappeared into the elevator.

"She's hiding something," he said to Bonham. Reaching into his pocket, he found the first pack of Camels he'd bought in months.

"But what?"

"Unless I miss my guess, she knows who the John Doe was."

"And you don't?"

"Can't prove it. Not until we hear back from Alaska."

In frustration, Williams opened the cellophane wrapper from his cigarettes and even got so far as to shake one out, but he didn't light, just rolled it in his fingers as he stared at the elevator doors. Nurses, doctors, visitors passed him, but Williams didn't notice; his mind was too focused on Lindsay Bale Biersack and the secrets she so jealously guarded.

He'd find out what they were. Oh, it would take a little time and a lot of digging, but as sure as Elvis was dead and buried, Williams would find them.

"Call Ashley Biersack's doctor. Find out when we can talk to his patient." He lifted the cigarette to his nostrils and smelled the fresh tobacco, then caught the eye of a nurse who stared pointedly at his hands, almost daring him to light it up. He noticed the obnoxious NO SMOKING sign posted near the nurses' station. Yeah, well, it seemed like you couldn't light up anywhere around here anymore. Good thing he'd quit.

"Keep the John Doe on ice until someone claims him and check with Alaska--see what the hang up is."

"You got it," Bonham said.

"And pictures. I want every picture you can find of Andy Biersack." He thought for a minute. "I want to talk to every old-timer in town, find out what the gossip around here was five years ago." His eyes narrowed on the elevator, and he imagined Lindsay as a gawky teenager, a tomboy, pale in comparison to her older half sister. "See what the family dynamics of the Bales and the Biersacks were. I want to know why Monica Bale offer herself, why Frank Biersack took a hike and how Andy Biersack fits in with Abbie and Lindsay Bale. There was friction between him and the Sanchez boy who got killed. Check that out as well."

"Anything else?" Bonham asked.

"Yeah. Find out where Ashley Biersack was during all this time. He was supposed to be the good Biersack boy, always looking after Mom, toeing the line, going to school and working his butt off, but it just doesn't wash with me."

"You think he's lying?"

"He's not talking at all, but yeah, he's lying. The whole damned lot of them are lying, but the trouble with lies if that when one starts to unravel, the entire web starts falling apart. All we have to do is pull one thread and, my guess is, we should start with Max. He's the one who'll have the most trouble holding his lies together."

---

Lindsay walked on legs made of rubber. There was no proof that Andy was the man in CCU, no reason to believe that he was dead, yet her stomach was sour and emptiness stole through her heart as she found her way back to Ashley's room.

"Mrs. Biersack--" The nurse at the station seemed worried. "Mrs. Biersack, I've been trying to locate you."

Oh God, what now? Lindsay hesitated. "Yes? Is something wrong?" she said, reading the concern in the woman's dark eyes. "My husband--"

"Is stable. It's not him. It's your mother-in-law."

"Eva?" Dread was a needle pricking deep into her heart.

"Yes." The nurse lifted her hands. "She's not with you?"

"No, I left her here, remember?"

"Oh, dear. I'm afraid she must've slipped out of the room while I was making rounds of medication and the other nurse was attending someone else--"

"Wait a minute," Lindsay's foggy mind instantly cleared. "You mean to tell me that she's not here. Not in the hospital?"

"I don't know about the rest of the hospital," the sallow-faced nurse started to get defensive, "but, she's not in this wing on this floor."

"You're certain?"

The woman's mouth became a formidable line. "Yes, Mrs. Biersack, but I'm sure she's around here somewhere."

"Has anyone checked the bathrooms?"

"No, but--"

Lindsay's heart was pumping wildly. Eva wouldn't have taken off, would she? She couldn't get very far. She used a cane, for crying out loud.

"Look, my mother-in-law needs to be found. I'll check my car and the restrooms. If you would have someone look elsewhere, in case she's confused--" Lindsay was already running down the hallways toward the front doors. She didn't believe it for a minute that Eva had gone to the Jeep, but she couldn't be certain.

Outside, the sun was blazing. Hot rays burned across the pavement, softening the tar in the asphalt. The Jeep was where Lindsay had left it, and she was just about to turn back to the hospital when she spied a note, tucked beneath the wiper blade of the driver's side.

She snatched it up and read the penciled scrawl:

Don't worry--the spirits are with me in my quest.

Love, Eva.

No!

Lindsay sagged against the fender and stared at the blinding white paper. the back of which was soiled and advertised yard work--a flyer that had apparently just blown across the parking lot.

"God help her," she said, shading her eyes as she swept her gaze across the sea of vehicles. Where would Eva have gone? And why? What the devil was her quest? Ashley was right, she was getting worse. Now, she'd fantasized that she was off on some vision quest, the kind her ancestors followed.

Ashley would be furious. He hadn't wanted Eva to visit him, and now she's running loose, capable of inflicting pain on herself or others. Lindsay kicked at her tire in frustration , then slowly walked down each and every row of parked cars, making sure Eva wasn't crouching behind a station wagon or laying down in the bed of a pickup. She wasn't. Not a sign of her. How had she left? Called a cab from the hospital? Hitchhiked? Stolen a care? Taken a bus? Hobbled off with her cane for God's sake? How?

Sweat beaded on Lindsay's scalp as she made her way back to the hospital. She didn't know how to break the new to Ashley. Any of the news. Not only was it likely that his one brother was dead, but his half brother was very much alive, though Ashley didn't know they were related. On top of that, his mother was missing. All Lindsay's fault. One more reason for their crumbling marriage to fall more quickly apart.

---

"I knew she should never have come here," Ashley growled, once Lindsay told him the news about Eva.

"I thought she needed to see her son."

"Well, she didn't stay here long."

"Did you talk to her?"

"No."

"Oh, Ashley--" She walked to the bed and stared down at him. His angry eye followed her. "She'll be all right."

"I wouldn't count on it."

She grabbed the rails of his bed and swallowed hard. "I'm sorry."

He didn't respond.

Calming herself, she slowly let out her breath. "There's something else you should know."

"More good news?" he mocked, his words barely distinguishable through the wires in his jaw.

"No. It's bad." She took in a shuddering breath. "The man in CCU died today. That's where I was; I saw the detectives come in and I had this feeling and . . ."

The eye closed and the room grew incredibly still. If possible, he seemed to stop breathing, his lips tense, the bruises on his face green and garish. Noises through the door were muted--phones ringing and carts rattling and voices speaking--all seemed so far away and unimportant.

She plunged on. "They still don't know who he is, Ashley, but they'll be here, asking questions again as soon as Dr. Okano says it's okay. You . . . you should think about what you're going to tell them."

"I'll tell them the truth."

"Which is?"

He stared at her so hard, she nearly cried out. Though he didn't say a word, she understood that the dead man was one of the Biersack brothers.

"This will be hard, L," he said with the first trace of tenderness she'd heard from him in a long, long while. "On you. On me. On everyone."

---

Notes

"Not everyone is who they say they are, and not everything is what it seems."