I am a Good Girl

Hayden's POV

A month later, I was saying my goodbyes to CC.
It was the start of the Summer and it was tour time. Vans Warped Tour was kicking off today, but I couldn't even attend the Los Angeles festival.
I stirred in the early hours of the morning. CC was already out of bed and packing last minute things.
"Morning. What time is it?" I asked, sitting up in his bed.
"Morning beautiful" he smiled, but I could see he was sad. "It's about 4:30. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you. The bus is gonna be here any minute and I have to have my stuff together. Fucking sucks being the drummer" he complained, coming to sit on the bed.
I giggled as I leaned forward to touch his hand. "You didn't wake me. Do you need me to go?"
"Nahh. You can stay as long as you like. Actually, I'll leave you a key and some money" he said, tapping his pockets.
"What? Why?" I frowned.
"Ohh man! Fuck" he sighed. "I forgot to ask you, but do you think you could look after Buddha and Callie? Just come by and feed them? Or you could just stay here. Bring Duke, I don't mind if that's easier."
"Are you sure? I don't want to impose."
"Please, you'd be doing me a favour. Besides, I forgot to ask my usual dog sitter if he could. Please baby" he begged with a cheeky smile.
I couldn't help but smile back. "Of course."
CC sighed in relief "You're the best" he said leaning in to kiss me.
As he pulled away there was a loud thumping on the front door.
"Must be the bus" he said sadly.
"I'll come out and help" I squeezed CC's hand and started to dress in my t-shirt and pj shorts.
CC grabbed one of his bags and went to go answer the door. I followed, also taking his suitcase.
CC opened the door and there was Andy, Ashley and various crew members. They all started to grab CC's equipment an loading into the buses storage. I noticed Ashley eyeing me, more than helping.
"Well good morning sexy" Ashley said when he was close enough.
I looked over to where CC was, well out of earshot, too busy chatting to their tour manager.
I frowned at him. "You don't get to do that" I shot.
"You've been avoiding me."
"Yeah, because you claim to miss me, but then you push me away."
"I do miss you! Why can't you be my friend again!" He asked, with desperation in his tone.
"Cause I don't know what you want from me" I said bluntly. "You don't get to toy with my emotions. I felt some very real things that night, but you made me disregard them cause you had a 'lapse of jealousy'" I rolled my eyes.
"I said I was sorry" he whispered.
"I cheated on CC for you. I wanted you, but you don't know what you want. But you were right. I'm happy" I shrugged.
"I just want my friend back. Please Hayden" he moped, giving me sad eyes.
"We'll see how I feel when you guys get back" I said coldly, not looking at him.
"Hey! Ashley! Let's go!" Andy called as he climbed onto the bus.
"Yeah, coming" he said, giving me one last look of hope before climbing aboard.
CC ran over to me and pulled me into his arms. "Hey, what's wrong?" His voice full of concern as he pushed a piece of hair behind my ear.
"Oh, nothing. I'm just gonna miss you. Seeing the bus makes it real" I lied. Although I would miss him, it wasn't the whole truth.
"I'll miss you too. Six weeks will fly by. You won't even know I'm gone" he said leaning in close for a kiss.
HONK HONK
The bus blared, making me jump.
"I better go. Still got one more stop. I'll see you when we get back" he smiled, giving me one last kiss then joined the others.

Later that day, after work, myself and Simone had a quiet night in at my apartment.
We had a buffet of Chinese style vegetables and steamed rice with a side dumplings, but I could barely eat.
"Sim, am I a bad person?" I asked, looking down at the food on my plate.
"Why do you ask?" She mumbled, her attention still on the TV.
"I have to tell you something, but you have to promise not to judge me" I said, making her look at me.
"Okay" she placed her plate down on the coffee table gave me her full attention. "Spill."
"I cheated on CC... And before you say anything, it was just kissing! Nothing more" I clarified.
"It was with Ashley, wasn't it?" Her eyes narrowed intently.
"Yep..."
"Dude! Why?! You and CC are great!" She whined sadly.
"You didn't hear the things he said to me. Saying that CC wasn't right for me and that he missed me. And he's the one who kissed me!" I explained.
"Do you think he's jealous?" Simone shrugged.
"He is. He took everything back though. Saying that I was finally happy with CC. I mean, what the fuck! I told him I was happy in that moment! I wanted to be with him! I would have given up everything for him" I sighed.
There was a silence before Simone spoke.
"Hayden... I only ask because I'm your best friend, but do you love CC?" She questioned, cocking her head.
"Of course I do" I said without delay. "It's just that... that night, I felt things for Ashley that weren't there before. But I'm unsure if he really feels the same way or if he just wants me cause we're not having sex anymore... " I said, feeling confused. "I don't know how to feel."
Simone was quiet for a minute. "I think you're sabotaging yourself at happiness. Don't let Ashley make you believe that he loves you. He's a manwhore. You said it yourself" she shrugged as she popped a piece on broccoli into her mouth.
"Yeah. He's the biggest manwhore I know."

Notes

Enjoy! :)