I am a Good Girl

Hayden's POV

It felt too good.
I was overcome with passion and fire.
Sparks burst from inside me with every second his lips were on mine.
Ashley slid his hands onto my waist, pulling me closer, wanting every part of me on him, but it wasn't in a sleazy way. He was being loving and gentle. Every kiss was sweet and deep.
I don't know how long we were on the couch just kissing. It was almost like the first time we kissed. When I saw Ashley as a one night stand, but the first time we kissed felt meaningful, like it did now.
This all felt right, but it was wrong.
I had wanted this for so long, but Ashley never saw me as a girlfriend. We settled as friends with benefits, but right now, we weren't friends.
Hours could have passed without us knowing, we only broke apart when I heard my phone chime.
We looked at each other for a moment. My lips were quivering. I wanted more, but Ashley held me back. His hands, firm on my arms.
"You should check that" he whispered, his soft pink lips swollen.
I felt myself pout, climbed off Ashley to check my phone.
One new message.
Hey Gorgeous, hope you're having a good time. Miss you, night xox
CC sent.
Guilt seemed to wrap itself around my heart. I knew how much CC loved me and I did the worst thing anyone can do to the one they love.
I looked over at Ashley, his shoulders tense and his feet nervously jittering.
I dropped my phone and pulled up to kiss him.
"Was that-"
"Shh" I interrupted, placing a finger over his lips. "I don't want to talk about that" I whispered, leaning in, inching myself closer to his lips.
As our lips met again, I was filled with passion and lust.
My hands ran along Ashley's neck, over his chest and down his ribs. He was so perfect. I had to have him. I wanted every part of him.
I started to tug him towards my bedroom, letting my emotions take over.
My fingertips touched the skin of his stomach, making me want more. I broke our kiss to pull off his t-shirt and marvel at his body.
As I traced the grooves of his muscles, Ashley suddenly grabbed my wrists.
"I think we should stop" he said seductively.
I swallowed hard and made myself look at him. "Why? You can't tell me you don't want this" I frowned.
"I-I just think we need to stop. I can't help but think of all the times I've disappointed you. And now, you're actually happy... I can't take that away from you..." He said, letting my wrists go and reaching down for his t-shirt.
I was outraged. "What makes you think I'm not happy right now!"
"Look, I'm being selfish. You're happy with CC then it's right, my opinion doesn't matter" he shrugged, like nothing happened.
"Oh, yes it does matter! You wouldn't say these things and kiss me like that if you didn't have feelings for me!"
"Hayden, we just can't! You love CC and that's that" he said sternly.
I had no idea what to say. My mind was running wild with confusion. Maybe Ashley only said these things in the heat of the moment.
"Hayden... We're just... emotional right now. Can we just forget this happened? I just had this lapse of jealousy. I miss you, but not that much" he chuckled, trying to lighten my mood.
"Umm, yeah... Sure" I smiled weakly, unsure about how to feel.
"Cool, so where do you wanna go?" Ashley resumed to his normal self, wondering out of my room.
I sat quietly for a moment on my bed, my thoughts trying to sort themselves out before I joined Ashley.

After dinner with Ashley, I was feeling lonely.
It was like me and Ashley's moment drained me of all my energy. It felt like when me and Ashley use to hook up, but this time there was this lingering feeling that I couldn't place. Emptiness?
I sighed and started my car. I don't know why, but I was drawn to CC's house. I wanted to tell him what happened and that it means nothing.
I couldn't have feelings for Ashley. That was ridiculous because I loved CC.
Before I knew, my car hit the curb and I was outside CC's house. I quickly made my way up the path, not wanting to loose my nerve, but as soon as I knocked on his door and that loveable face appeared before me, I couldn't do it.
"Hey! This is a surprise. What are you doing here?" CC smiled with glee. Ashley never looked at me like this.
"I just wanted to tell you I love you."
I noticed CC blush, but he took my hand and pulled me in close and kissed me.
"I love you too" he whispered, his lips barely leaving mine.
This was where I needed to be.

Notes