My Brother is WHO?

Holly’s P.O.V

I walked out to talk to Andy. "Andy, I'm worried about Jinxx from what my dad’s told me the spacing out is normal but he shouldn’t keep breaking down and crying himself to sleep especially after he had as much sleep as he had last night, has this happened before?" I questioned in a rush, Andy sighed and motioned for me to sit on the couch "Hols, Jinxx has anxiety and panic attacks so spacing out is normal but when he calms down he often breaks down and cries himself to sleep, even if he has just woken up but helping him calm down when he spaces out is good but you have to stop him crying himself to sleep as often he has nightmares in them and they can kick in his depression badly, you did well to take the blade away from him but just to make sure when he gets out I will check him over to make sure he hasn’t done anything while you get yours." He explained I nodded; I didn’t want my big brother to have to go through that it was unfair.

Jinxx's P.O.V

I missed Sammi, I needed Sammi, she meant so much to me. Hol had been so nice over the last few days she let me cuddle her, she held me while I cried and she calmed me down when I spaced out; but how did she know what to do? I didn’t want my little sister to go through the same stuff that I did! I was glad she had taken the blade away from me I had been clean for 8 years, I don’t know if I would have used it but I felt worthless and all the things I was called during high school were running through my head "Worthless! Emo-fag! Ugly! Kill yourself! Fat! Bastard!" This was too much; I had to think of something happy, my little sister! How she trusted me so much with her secrets and how she had only known me for less than a week but was on tour with us, where would I be without her? I sighed and finished up, dried off and put on some black jeans with a black t-shirt and dried my hair, when I left Holly looked at me and I just smiled at her.

Andy grabbed me and pulled me into the bunk area looking worried "Jinxx, I told Hols everything but I promised I would make sure you didn’t self harm; have you?" He rushed, I looked him square in the eye "I swear that I haven’t, I realised that I shouldn’t and Holly helped me with that. Andy she means the world to me now and I want to be a good influence to my little sister" I explained and he nodded, he knew I was telling the truth, in all fairness he was the only one I told so he knew I would trust him if I had self harmed he looked at me "Brother are you okay now?" He asked and I nodded, inside I still felt empty but I tried not to show it. He got up and walked away. I decided to tell Hol what she meant to me; in truth she was my saviour over the last day and I loved her so much.

Holly’s P.O.V

I saw Jinxx come out of the bathroom and he looked alright to me but I knew Andy would check and make sure he hadn’t done anything, he smiled at me and I smiled back and I went to get my shower and I thought about the last day as I washed. Jinxx's behaviour scared me a bit but it wasn’t about me it was about my big brother, I would put my problems behind me and focus on him, he was my saviour and I loved him so much, I barely knew him a week and already I felt like I had known him for years. I looked down at my legs and saw some of the scars I had from what I had done to myself. NEVER AGAIN!! I told myself and I knew it was for the best, I had to help my brother now and I would not self harm again; it was a waste of me! I was better that that! I sighed and finished my shower and got out, dried my hair, put on my makeup and got dressed into my light grey jeans with my dark green shirt with spikes on the collar and I decorated it with 6 Black veil brides badges and I left and walked over to the couch to sit by Jinxx, he looked up at me and gave me a big hug and asked if we could talk in the bunk area, I nodded and we walked off and went to sit on my bunk.

"Hol, I know Andy told you everything but you don’t need to worry about me. Over the last day you have been there for me, you held me while I cried, you let me cuddle you and you helped me back to earth when I spaced out, I don’t know where I would be if you weren’t here, you are my saviour and I love you so much. I'm going to be okay but I need you with me, I can’t cope on my own for a little while and my little sister is the only one who can help me and I'm so glad that you have been there for me." He explained and I gave him a huge hug, his eyes still looked slightly dim despite what he said, when we stopped I looked over at him "Jinxx, I have some stuff I need to tell you as well. When I said I had only self harmed once I lied I have marks on my legs which would be covered by my shorts and marks over my arms from when I have done it but I honestly haven't done it since I met you and I promise that I will never do it again, I realised today that it will just hurt those around me and you are my saviour, you are the guy that I looked up to before I even met you and I love you so much it’s unreal, you are my big brother and the only person out of my family that I think I can tell about these things. Thank you just for being there." I said and he looked at me when I finished with a tear in his eyes and by now I was crying, he was the first person I told about my issues and it felt good to be able to talk to someone about it and once again we hugged and then we walked back to the seating area.

Ash looked over at me "Holly, you know your singing voice is beautiful right?" He asked and Andy and I looked at each other before we both started laughing "Told you" he managed to get through his fit of giggles. Everyone was staring at us like we were crazy; once we calmed down they all looked really confused except for Iz who knew what we were laughing about "Erm what was that about?" Jake asked so I explained "Well the day we went to the mall I was practising my guitar before we left and when Andy came to tell me that you were ready he stood in the door listening to me and when I finished he told me I was a good singer, I went in a huff with him since I think I am a terrible singer and I refused to talk to him but I said sorry when we were in the shop with the makeup but I haven’t sang since until I needed to bring Jinxx back to earth yesterday before he broke down." They all understood it now and Ash said "oh so that what was wrong with you two, anyway Hol you can sing amazingly, can you sing for us now since I don’t know if Jinxx quite heard you with the state he was in and I'm pretty sure Jake hasn’t heard you sing and I know Ella and Juliet haven’t since they only joined the bus last night." I blushed and Ash, Andy, CC, Iz, Jake and Jinxx begged me to and the girls were looking at me and smiling.

I sighed, there was no getting out of this one and I knew that so I softly sang saviour again and when I finished I was applauded and pulled into a huge hug by Jinxx who was smiling at me with pride in his eyes and everyone else was smiling at me and clapping. I was shocked I did not expect this so I just sat there until they stopped then Andy had a bright idea "Hey Hol why don’t you sing in our show tomorrow?" He asked and my eyes filled with panic, my breathing started getting rapid, they all looked at me funny.

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