Choose Your Fate

I take a deep breath as I balance myself on the railing of the bridge, preparing to jump. I see the headlights of cars rushing past below me. I know that if I don’t die on impact, I will at least die from being hit.

I try to think of what I’m leaving behind if I do follow through with my plan. I fail to think of anything. My family is gone, my best friend has forgotten about me, my dreams are just dreams and the worst I’m the worst possible thing that someone could be; I’m a murderer. There is nothing to keep me here. I have nothing to live for. I take one last breath before I learn forward to fall to my death. Just as my feet start leave the cement railing, someone grabs my wrist.

“Don’t do it!”

I gasp and my head shoots around to see a man. I feel a sense of familiarity as I register the face that is dimly lit by the street lights.

“Please, don’t do this. Things will get better. I promise you they will. You can’t give in now,” the man says.

I am frozen with shock. What do I say to a stranger that stopped me from killing myself?

“Come down from there. Please?”

I let the man pull me down from the railing. Then I realize what is happening and try to yank my hand from his grasp. His grip only becomes tighter.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” he says. I shake my head.

“Just, please, leave me alone,” I say.

“I’m afraid I can’t do that,” he says.

“Why not?!” I cry.

“Because you’ll get right back on top of the railing. I’m not leaving you in the state of mind that you’re in. You’ll only kill yourself.” I gasp, trying to figure out what to say. I decide to lie.

“I wasn’t trying to kill myself!” The lie comes out better than I expect.

“Then what exactly were you doing? Just admiring the scenery?”

I hang my head in defeat. It was stupid to try and lie when it was so incredibly obvious as to what I was trying to do.

“Will you please let me stay with you? I’d rather not take you to the hospital to have you sent to the physiological floor and I don’t think you’d like that either.”

“No. You can’t stay with me and you can’t take me to the hospital.” I say, starting to panic.

I can’t end up in the hospital. I would be titled as a freak. All it would do is make me want to kill myself more.

“Hey, don’t freak out. I’m not that bad of a guy. I promise I won’t hurt you. I just want to make sure you’re okay, even though you’re obviously not. I’m not going to let you kill yourself.”

I look up at the man. I’m able to see him more clearly up close. He looks very familiar but I can’t place how I know him.

“But I don’t know you,” I say.

“I don’t know you either but you don’t see that stopping me from saving your life.”

I stand there trying to figure out what to do. Obviously, the man isn’t going to give up and he doesn’t seem like a crazy person. I mean, he just stopped me from killing myself. If he was some crazy murderer, he probably wouldn’t have stopped me. And what else do I have to lose going with him?

“Fine. I’ll stay with you. But tomorrow I’m leaving and we will never see each other again.
Deal?” I finally say.

I see the man nod. He starts to pull me to a car. His car, I’m assuming. He doesn’t let go of my hand until he has me seated in the passenger seat. He closes the door and I see him pull out a phone. He touches a few things on it and puts the phone up to his ear. I can only hear the man’s muffled talking to the person on the other line and after a few moments he puts the phone back into his pocket. He walks over to the driver’s side of the car and gets in. He starts the car and it roars to life, startling me.

“Sorry,” he apologizes, “I had to call my friends to let them know that we were coming.” He says as he starts to drive away.

“Friends?” I hiss. He didn’t say anything about his friends. I didn’t want to meet new people under these circumstances.

“I forgot to mention that I’m in a band,” he says, looking sheepish.

“That would have been nice to know before I agreed to let you take me home!” I say angrily.

“I’m sorry. But you can’t exactly leave now. We’re in a moving car.” He tries to hide his smirk but fails. I know he didn’t tell me so I wouldn’t chicken out of going with him. I of course, had to be saved by a person with common sense.

“I’m Jinxx. What’s your name?” he asks, after a few moments of silence.

I chuckle silently as I take in the craziness of the situation I’m in. I’m in a man’s car, a man that just stopped me from suicide, and I‘ve just now found out his name.

“Rain,” I say.

I look at Jinxx and I feel my heart become heavy as I finally realize why he seems so familiar.

“Jinxx? You wouldn’t happen to be in a band called Black Veil Brides, would you?” I ask, praying that he says no. I want it to be just a coincidence. But when have things ever gone the way I want them to?

“Yeah, I am. Are you a fan?” he asks, looking a little taken aback.

“Not exactly,” I mutter, my heart sinking to my feet. I feel tears well up in my eyes, for the first time tonight as I think of how disappointed he will be when he finds out. Even though he left me behind, he still is my best friend. I sit there in the silent car, going to a dreaded place, trying not to think of the last time I saw him. Despite pushing the memories down, they painfully surface and I’m forced to relive how painful it was when he left me.

----------------------------

“Promise me, if anything bad happens, you’ll call me, okay?” he asked. I nodded, holding him tighter.

“I’m going to miss you so much, Ashley!” I said.

“I know, baby girl. I’m going to miss you more.” Ashley kissed my forehead.

“Don’t forget me?” I asked.

“Never. You act like we’re never going to see each other again!”

“It feels like we won’t. Promise we’ll stay in touch?

“Always. I could never forget my best friend.”

A car honk sounded across the yard to where we were.

“I gotta go, baby girl. I love you,” Ashley said, hugging me tightly.

“I love you too.”

And then he was gone.

--------------------------------

The first few months without him were okay. We called and video chatted all the time. It was almost like he was still with me. Then my parents and sister died. I stopped talking to him as often as I did, since I was trying to pull myself together. I never did tell him the true reasons I had become such a mess. I spewed lie after lie to him, and I’m pretty sure he knew I was lying, but he never asked what had actually been going on. He was patient with me, or at least I thought he was. I guess everyone’s patience can grow short because just a few months after I had become a mess, he stopped contacting me. I had tried everything, texting, calling, emailing, but I never received an answer. It hurt me so much to know that the only person I thought had cared didn’t. Ashley leaving me was part of what drove me to that bridge tonight.

I’m brought out my memories when Jinxx stops the car. Facing us is a big bus that has the words “Black Veil Brides” on the side. I assume it’s their tour bus.

“Well, we’re here,” Jinxx says.

“I can’t do this, Jinxx,” I whisper.

“Why? They don’t bite and they won’t judge you. There’s nothing to worry about, Rain.”

“I can’t.”

“You can. I swear on my life that they’re good people.”


“You don’t understand.”

“Then enlighten me. I’d like to know why you are so afraid,” Jinxx says gently.

“Forget it. Just take me home,” I say.

“Rain, you know I won’t do that. We just had this discussion.”

I take a deep breath. What have I got to lose? He can’t hate me more than he already probably does.

“Fine. I’ll go into your damn tour bus,” I say, feeling defeated. I never was one to try and argue.

Jinxx looks slightly worried but he seems to shrug it off as he gets out of the car. I think about running for it but decide I don’t have the energy to try and outrun someone. I get out of the car and turn to Jinxx.

“Let’s do this,” I say.

Jinxx chuckles and grabs my hand. He gently drags me to the door and knocks on it. I close my eyes tight, trying to prepare myself for what could happen next. I know none of it will be in my favor.

“Who is it?” a deep voice asks from inside the bus.

“It’s the pizza man. Who else? It’s me, dude. Let me in,” Jinxx says, laughing at his joke.

I can’t find it in me to smile at Jinxx’s joke.

The door opens and Jinxx pulls me into the bus with him. The first person I see is a man with short black hair and bright blue eyes. His eyes remind me of ice. I think his name is Andy, but I’m not too sure.

The man that I think is Andy looks at me with sad eyes. It slightly reminds me of a kicked puppy.

“Hey, darling. I’m Andy,” he says, holding out his hand for me. Looks like I was right about his name.

“Rain,” I say, taking his hand and shaking it.

“Come on, let’s go into the living room,” Jinxx says, putting an arm around my shoulder.

I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to go into the living room and I don’t want to see the others and I don’t want Jinxx’s arm around me and I don’t want to see Ashley. I want to be back on the bridge, ready to fall.

Jinxx leads me to the living room and I see two people sitting on a black leather couch. One is wearing a black bandana and they both have long, black hair. I don’t see Ashley. Both of the men, I think their names are Jake and CC, look at me with the same eyes that Andy did. It makes me slightly angry. These people don’t know me, yet they think I should have pity. They don’t know the things that I have done. No one like me deserves pity.

“Where’s Ashley?” Jinxx asks.

“He’s outside, I think,” Andy answers.

“Want me to go get him?” CC asks.

I shake my head violently. He can’t come in. He just can’t. I don’t know if I can face him. I’m sure this will only make him hate me more than he ever thought he could.

“No. Don’t go get him. Just take me home. Please, Jinxx?” I plead.

All of the boys look confused.

“Ashley’s not a bad guy, Rain,” Jinxx says.

I just shake my head again.

“Please, Jinxx? You wouldn’t understand.”

“I think I know the problem.”

I swing my head around to see that it was Jake that had spoken. What was he talking about?

“You’re the Rain, huh? Ashley used to talk about you all the time. Then, he just stopped. Is that what you’re so afraid of? Facing him?” he says.

I feel my face pale and I can see the others are trying to comprehend what Jake has said. The recognition lit on their faces. How was Jake able to figure me out that easily?

I hear the door open and the sound of shoes hitting the ground starts getting closer and closer. I am frozen. I am frozen with fear and I can do nothing but wait for him to walk through the door.

Then I hear the voice that I had missed for so long echo through the living room area.

“Sorry guys-Rain?!”

Notes